Altered Conflict
by Giddy76
Summary: Sequel to Conflicts On Home Turf. Back from hell, Dean is faced with the aftermath of his death, and is forced to try and put it right before it's too late.
1. Chapter 1

_Christina's Apartment, South Dakota – September 12, 2008_

30-year-old Christina Singer smiled as she watched over her sleeping baby boy. He was a week past his five-month birthday and every bit the replica of his father, who had been taken from them four months previous. Bringing him up alone had been a challenge, and one she hadn't taken to right away. Falling apart wasn't in her nature, but she was barely holding it together. She was an emotional dam waiting to break and she feared a break down was just around the corner. She'd only survived this long because of DJ – a promise she made to Dean. It rang around in her head repeatedly forcing her to get up every morning and go about life as though that day hadn't happened. It was that promise that kept her strong whenever she heard DJ cry or saw his face. But making that promise and seeing it through was proving more and more difficult with each passing day because losing Dean had meant she lost a part of herself.

Officially the two had never been an item, but – in her heart – Dean Winchester had been her man, regardless of whether he'd accepted it or not. They hadn't had what anyone would class a healthy relationship – his fear of commitment had seen to that – but she had a piece of him that he'd kept hidden from the rest of the world and that was enough. At least, she'd thought it was. But she'd realised in her time without him that she'd lived for the feeling she got whenever he smiled at her or brushed up against her in his mad dash out the door for a hunt – and now he was gone, so was her hope of feeling completely whole.

Her son was her little piece of Dean, a constant reminder of what they'd had – no matter how short-lived. He was a living part of him that she would die to protect. Her powers had gone, sure, but DJ still had them in his blood. So even if she couldn't always protect him, he had the ability to do it.

Losing Dean had been made worse when she'd lost Sam just six weeks later – after their grief had made them read more into their relationship than there was – and Christina had forced herself to see it for what it really was. Ultimately it had cost her Sam, which was regrettable, but she'd have rather that than to go to a place with him she couldn't return from and would feel endless guilt for. Regardless, she missed having him on hand to help.

Being careful not to wake her son, she walked out of the nursery and pulled the door closed. Her apartment was so big and empty without all the men of her life. She felt alone – vulnerable – and she was just waiting for an attack on her son's life. It was ritual by now, to walk around the dark apartment checking every room for any signs of life and, then just to be sure, checking again. She always found nothing, but satisfied she retired to her room.

She climbed into bed exhausted. It had been another long day, and it hadn't been made any easier by her father, who'd taken to the bottle since they'd lost Dean. She'd got used to the fact that the hunt didn't matter to him anymore but giving up on family was a new first for her. He'd barely been a father to her since losing one of the sons he never had, much less a grandfather, and she missed his over-protectiveness despite hating it. It would show he still cared about something instead of being cold and detached from life. She feared that he'd drink himself into such a deep depression that she'd have to bury him right alongside Dean after finding him on one of her visits to check on him. Thankfully, he always passed out before that happened. Still, it cut her up to see her father emotionally fall apart because he'd always been so strong – but she told herself he'd snap out of it once he got it out of his system.

It had only been four months and taking care of everyone else made her forget her own pain of losing Dean for a little while, but when she climbed into bed it was there waiting – preventing her from falling asleep without shedding tears.

Getting comfortable in bed her eyes were drawn to the photo of him set on her nightstand and she could feel the instant grief well up in her eyes. Guilt still surrounded her for not being able to do anything to stop his trip down the pit – despite trying. Her intention had been to use the fear Lilith had and use it against her – little did she know the demon that fathered her had a unique ability to render her powerless, literally. So her plan had come crashing down around her ears and almost gotten her killed for her efforts. But her guilt didn't change a thing. Dean was still gone, and she was still forced to live without him. She wondered – amidst her tears – if she'd ever be able to love anyone like she loved him. And the answer was simple – no. Without him her world ceased to exist. She was living but she was barely alive. She pined for him more and more as each day passed. There was no way losing him was going to get easier. It had been four months and it still felt like yesterday when he'd left.


	2. Chapter 2

**ONE**

The sun beat down hard on Dean as he walked along the only road he could find. He didn't know where he was or where he was heading, but he was alive so he didn't really care. He'd been forced to remove his long sleeved shirt, the sun was so hot, and wrap it around his waist. He dabbed at the beads of sweat on his brow as he baked under the rays, thankful to be breathing again. It was just a short while later that he came across the gas station that looked to be abandoned. He approached the door showing the 'closed' sign and knocked on one of the small panes of glass.

"Hello!" He called out as loud as his dry throat would allow.

But when he got no response he scanned the area before deciding to let himself in. Untying the shirt from his waist, he wrapped it around his right hand as protection before breaking one of the panes of glass with his fist. His first port of call was to stop the painful scraping at the back of his throat whenever he tried to use his voice. He needed to be able to communicate if he ever came across anybody in this damn town – if it even was a town anymore. It was deserted like no one had been there for years – maybe the apocalypse had come already, but he'd seen that in movies… shouldn't the world be on fire?

Heading for the cooler, he took out a bottle of water and didn't waste time connecting it to his lips. Just the thought of it had him salivating. He took a few long gulps of the liquid and could feel the relief as it hit the back of his throat. But his thirst had made him forget his need to breath, so taking the bottle from his lips he gulped this time for air.

It didn't take him long to spot the newspaper stand and make his way over to it. Picking up the top copy of the Pontiac Daily Gazette he read the date: September 18, 2008.

"September." His whisper echoed inside the empty building. At least he had a place and date now.

He felt grubby. Like he'd been lying in that grave for years, not months. He navigated around the inside of the small gas station and found a washroom at the back. He needed to try and feel human again. Placing his shirt down on the edge of the sink, he leaned over and turned on the faucet to splash water on his face. He already felt a little better as he used his shirt to pat his face dry. Straightening, his eyes connected to those in the mirror in front of him and a slight frown cast over his features. Grabbing the bottom of his shirt he lifted it to inspect his abdomen, his skin was in tact. He was confronted with flashing imagery of a hellhound tearing apart his chest and stomach before releasing the fabric so it fell back around his waist. Clearly it happened, but yet he boar no scars.

He turned sideways in the mirror and lifted the bottom of his left sleeve up to reveal a raised scar in the shape of a hand on the top of his arm. Just the sight of it made him wince, almost making it real. His frown didn't waver. He had no idea why he wasn't still in hell, but he guessed the permanent handprint was a huge clue in finding answers. He needed to stock up on supplies if he was going to find his brother.

He grabbed a handful of whatever snack food was to hand and put them in a carrier, along with a few bottles of water and the latest copy of Busty Asian Beauties. Then he went to the cash register, he would need cash to get to wherever he was going. But as he was emptying it, the TV flicked on of its own free will. Dean took in the snowy picture for a second and calmly reached over to shut it off. That's when the radio turned on. Making a slight move toward it, the TV sprung to life again. Realisation hit him – he'd been out of practise but hunting was like riding a bike. He rushed over to a shelf and grabbed a tub of salt to line the windows on the door he'd walked through as a high-pitched screech surrounded him. Instinctively, he covered his ears hoping to block out some of the noise but it didn't make any difference what so ever. The pitch rose to an ear piercing level causing the glass around him to shatter and he dropped to the ground to protect himself. It seemed to take forever for the noise to stop, but when it did he clambered up to his feet to find all the windows in the small building were broken. Stepping toward the door, he looked out for an explanation as to what had happened but found no answers.

= X =

Christina knew the minute she woke up that today was going to be one of her bad days. As usual, her first thought was of Dean and having to face another day without him, nevertheless the tears and sob were out before she could stop them. She just wanted to lie there wallowing for a single day, feeling sorry for herself and wishing the world would end, before she had to be responsible and function again. Except when she heard her son amusing himself through the monitor she knew she had to get up.

Forcing the covers from off her lifeless body, she swung her heavy legs out of bed. Her eyes glanced automatically at the alarm clock and along the way caught sight of the bottle of pills tucked behind it.

The doctor had put her on anti-depressants once she'd made a full recovery from her injuries. He'd been convinced she showed signs of depression and insisted he'd only release her from hospital with a prescription – so she took it, but she refused to take them. She didn't want to block out the pain of losing Dean, it was part of loving him, and every morning she looked at the bottle to remind herself she was strong enough to live through each day without a pill to help her cope. It was hard, but not feeling grief would've been like he hadn't existed and he meant too much to her to simply forget.

She sighed deep and heavy, the pain in her chest stabbing her heart as it rose and fell. She couldn't do this alone for much longer before she broke – she just prayed her Dad had pulled himself together when that time came.

= X =

The phone woke Bobby from his drunken stupor on the couch. It was rare he got phone calls anymore. People had just stopped calling about hunts when he'd turned them down a few times, and that was fine with him. He wasn't much in the mood to seek out danger. If it wanted him bad enough, it'd find him and he wasn't sure he'd even put up a fight.

Stumbling to his feet, he headed for the line of phones on his wall and it took him a minute to work out it was his usual line that was ringing.

"Yeah?" He asked into the receiver.

"Bobby?" The voice the other end asked back.

For a minute he could swear it sounded like Dean. But he must've been hearing things. "Yeah?" He repeated.

"It's me." There was that familiar voice again.

"Who's 'me'?" He asked with a frown. He wished whoever it was would let him just get back to sleeping.

"Dean."

Now he knew he was losing touch with reality. His imagination must've been on overdrive, or he was still dreaming. He hung up the phone without another word – whatever was in that last drink he'd had was some powerful stuff. He shook his head to try and focus on if he was awake or not when the phone rang again.

He picked it up. "Who is this?"

"Bobby listen to me-" Dean's voice started.

But he had no time for the voices in his head. "This ain't funny, call again and I'll kill you." He said, hanging up sharply and shuffling back to the couch as he mumbled. "Damn demons, playing tricks on me."

= X =

Christina rushed out of the bathroom, her hair-soaking wet with a towel wrapped around her body, as she aimed for the phone before the caller had a chance to hang up. She hoped it was her father – back from his liquor vacation – but her heart jumped in her mouth when she heard his familiar voice.

"CJ?" He asked in a whisper.

Even at that decibel she knew who it was. She'd know that voice anywhere. But Dean was dead; she forced the rational side of her brain to remember, and the pain stabbed at her chest again. "Not funny asshole!" She almost cried down the phone, forcing the handset into its cradle. She stared at it for a second or two. Had her mind been playing tricks or had that been someone's idea of a joke?

No sooner had she tried to search for an explanation, the phone started to ring again and, despite knowing it was probably the same caller, she was hopeful because she missed hearing his voice.

"CJ." There it was again, sounding exactly like Dean.

She clutched the phone and squeezed her eyes shut as silent tears cascaded down her face. She missed him terribly and four months hadn't changed that. She forced her voice steady, not wanting to tip off the person the other end of her emotional vulnerability.

"Who is this?" She bravely asked, not sure she cared about the answer.

But he read her tears and was compassionate in his answer, "It's Dean."

The line went silent. Her heart broke a little more inside her chest. She knew it wasn't possible, but she wanted so badly to believe it was him. Then – almost like a switch had been flicked – the hunter in her took over.

"Call here again and I'll kill you." She threatened, slamming the phone down again.

= X =

Dean looked at the receiver. He hardly blamed Bobby or Christina for not believing it was actually him, he barely believed it himself, but he somehow thought Christina would've been more open to the idea than her father.

He took in his surroundings and spotted a car as he spun around in the phone booth. The only way he was going to prove to them that he was alive, was to show them.

_Bobby's House, South Dakota – September 18, 2008_

Having slept off the effects of last night's binge drinking Bobby was now washed and dressed for the day ahead, like it was any normal day. It was almost like hearing Dean's voice on the phone had forced him to function normally. He knew in his heart Dean wouldn't want him to be so disconnected from his daughter or his grandson, so for them he had to pull himself together.

Grabbing his car keys, on a mission to start behaving like a father, he heard his back door knock. With a frown, he went to answer it. But the person he found standing there when he opened it was enough to knock him on his ass with a feather. He stepped back, taking in the sight before him, his mind a whirl with confusion.

Dean smiled weakly at the man in front of him, "Surprise."

Bobby took another step back, "I- I don't-"

"Yeah, me neither." He said stepping into the house as his father figure continued to back away from him. "But here I am."

The older man hit the small table behind him, his hand dropping to the surface to steady his shaky frame, and he felt the handle of the silver knife. Without a second thought, he grabbed it and swung it at Dean.

Dean quickly countered, grabbing the wrist of the hand welding the knife and forced it up his back. Bobby reached back and hit him in the face. Thrown off balance, Dean stumbled into the next room.

"Bobby! Bobby, it's me!"

"My ass!" Was the aggravated response he got as Bobby started after him again.

Trying to ward off any attack, the Winchester man hid behind a chair on wheels and stuck up a hand in his direction. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait! Your name is Robert Steven Singer. You became a hunter after your wife got possessed… you're about the closest thing I have to a father…" He said causing the man to stand re-evaluating his initial conclusion. "Bobby, it's me."

Stunned, he approached him – shifting the chair he'd used as protection out of the way – and reached out to make sure his eyes weren't deceiving him. Dean allowed his curiosity to be cured. But seconds later Bobby lunged at him again with the knife.

"Whoa! I'm not a shape shifter." He told him, being forced to pin his hand behind his back, holding on to his other arm to make sure he couldn't get lose.

"Then you're a revenant!"

Dean threw Bobby off him, keeping the knife he'd pulled free of his grasp, "All right, if I was either – would I do this with a silver knife?" He asked rolling up the left sleeve of his shirt and – after an expression of disbelief of what he'd been resorted to – cutting into his arm, drawing blood.

Bobby watched in amazement, "Dean."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you." He said taking a few steps toward him; relieved he was finally getting somewhere proving he was him.

He threw his arms around the young man and they embraced. All the months of pain that had passed seemed to not matter; not now he was back. Bobby almost didn't want to let go, for fear he was dreaming. But he had to get another look at him, to make sure his eyes weren't deceiving him.

"It's- it's good to see you boy."

Dean reached out to grab the collar of his shirt, "Yeah, you too."

"But how did you bust out?"

"I don't know, I just uh-" He started, twisting to put the knife down on a nearby table. "Just woke up in a pine box-" He tried to explain but was stunned into silence when he turned back to Bobby and was splashed in the face with Holy Water. He took a second before turning his head to the side and spitting out the water that he'd caught in his mouth. He turned back to the man opposite him, his face masked with calm. "I'm not a demon either, you know."

Bobby held up the bottle he held, "Sorry, can't be too careful."

= X =

Christina smiled down at her son. No matter how many mornings she got up not wanting to face the day, he always made it worth doing. He was the one bright spot in her otherwise dreary life and he was everything she'd ever wanted out of life. He was her way out of the life she'd been fighting since she was a teenager, and this time no one was going to talk her into changing her mind. Her main priority now was to keep him safe, and the life of a hunter would definitely not guarantee that. So saving him from the same fate as both his parents would surely mean he'd live a full normal life.

"Shall we go and see granddad?" She asked securing him in his stroller. Unable to speak, DJ blew a raspberry – his current form of communication and she smiled. "I'll take that spit bubble to mean 'yes'."

= X =

Dean followed Bobby from the kitchen into what used to be the lounge drying off his face as he walked.

"That don't make a lick of sense." Bobby said.

"Yeah, you're preaching to the choir." Dean replied.

The older man stopped the other side of his desk and faced the young one, "Dean, your chest was ribbons, your insides were slop, and you've been buried four months. Even if you could slip out of hell and back into your meat suit-"

"I know, I should look like a Thriller video reject."

"What do you remember?"

He shook his head, "Not much. I remember I was a Hellhound's chew toy, and then lights out. Then I come to six feet under, that; was it." Somewhat in shock, Bobby took a seat behind his desk with a look of confusion on his face as Dean spoke again, "Sam's number's not working, he's uh… he's not-?"

"Oh, he's alive – as far as I know."

Dean closed his eyes momentarily, saying a silent prayer of relief. "Good…" He said, making his way around the desk, but the sentence slowly registered. "Wait, what do you mean as far as you know?"

"I haven't talked to him for months."

"You're kidding; you just let him go off by himself?"

"He was dead set on it." He replied getting back up to his feet and moving around the desk in the opposite direction to Dean.

"Bobby, you should have been looking after him-"

He looked across the distance at him in disbelief. "I tried. These last months haven't been exactly easy you know." He said causing him to look down, feeling a twinge of guilt. "For him or me… we had to bury you."

"Why did you bury me anyway?"

"I wanted you salted and burned, the usual drill," He replied, getting an agreeing nod from him. "But Sam wouldn't have it."

Dean glanced off in the distance. "Well, I'm glad he won that one." He admitted looking him back in the eye.  
"He said you'd need a body when he got you back home somehow, that's about all he said." He continued arousing the older brother's suspicions.

"What do you mean?" He questioned curiously.

"He was quiet… real quiet." Bobby replied sitting on the edge of his desk. "Then, he just took off, wouldn't return my calls. I tried to find him, but he didn't want to be found."

Dean started to pace, "Awww dammit Sammy!"

"What?"

He scratched his chin as he stopped the other side of the desk, where he'd originally started. "Oh, he got me home OK, but whatever he did it is bad mojo."  
"What makes you so sure?"

"You should have seen the grave site; it was like a nuke went off. Then there was this – this force, this presence, uh – I don't know but, it- it blew past me at a fill up joint, and then this-" He removed the towel he had perched on his shoulder, took his left arm out of the green shirt he was wearing and pulled up the short sleeve of the t-shirt he wore underneath to reveal the scorched handprint on his bicep.

Bobby jumped up and headed over to him."What in the hell?"

"Yeah, it's like a demon just yanked me out, or rode me out."

"But why?"

"To hold up their end of the bargain."

"You think Sam made a deal?"

He took a moment's pause and looked his father figure in the eye. "It's what I would've done."

= X =

Christina used her key to enter her Dad's house, like every other morning this week. But what was waiting for her was not what she usually found, and it made her sick to her stomach.

"CJ." Her name passed his lips softly, happy to see her safe and well.

Stunned, she processed the image in front of her. Then, forgetting her son in his stroller, she flew at him. "Take it off you bastard. Take him off!" She shouted hitting Dean in the chest.

Bobby jumped to his rescue, restraining her. "Princess, it's him. It's Dean."

"Like hell it is!" She jumped to attack him again.

Dean took a step back to avoid her lethal hands as Bobby grabbed her around the waist in an attempt to bring her under control but she slipped free before he got a tight enough hold and headed for her target, knocking him to the floor with the force of her body crashing into his.

"CJ, it's me." He shouted, trying to stop her attack by holding his hands in front of his face. "It's me."

Bobby went after her, grabbing her around the chest, pinning her arms to her sides as he pulled her off Dean. "It's really him."

The energy seemed to drain from her almost instantly. Her rage replaced with tears. "Why are you doing this to me?" She pleaded, breaking down.

Her father wrapped his arm around her frame to keep her legs from buckling, "Don't you think I made sure it was him before I sat down and had coffee with him?"

She stopped fighting his comfort and looked calmly over at the man she loved; now back up on his feet. She appeared rational and unlikely to lash out, so Bobby slowly allowed his restraint on her to break.

"Dean?" She asked barely believing her eyes.

He flashed a half smile, realising how hard it was for her to take that he was stood in front of her. "In the flesh." He said softly.

She edged toward him and reached out to touch his face, with unsure reluctance from him. She half turned to address her father, "You're sure it's him?"

He nodded, "It's him baby."

She turned back to him, "How did you-"

"I dunno. But I'm here." Dean replied, keeping his soft tone.

Suddenly her arms wrapped around his neck as she pressed her body against him, squeezing him tightly, and it almost knocked him backward for a second time. But he steadied himself, managing the full strength of her relief. Slowly his hands came up to comfort her, holding her securely, just as thankful to be touching her as she was him. He could feel her body tremble with the force of the sobs leaving her body and he felt the familiar sting of his own tears. She'd had such an impact on his life, regardless of his inability to commit, and – knowing what he was like – she was still happy to have him back.

He cleared his throat to try and stop the onslaught of tears, "Air becoming an issue." He said, forcing her to break her hold on him.

She pulled away, staring at him as though still unsure he was real and then – out of nowhere – her lips were on his, catching him off guard. But it didn't take him long to return the affection and neither of them noticed her father slip out of the room taking their son with him.

Dean's mind whirled with the sensation her lips created within him and although he knew he'd never be able to give her what she wanted, there was something extremely comforting about kissing her. But he forced himself to be rational and not give her any false hope now he was back. He wanted to maintain their close relationship, just not in the sense he knew she wanted and it would be cruel to make her think he was a one woman man when he was open to temptation.

Grabbing the top of her arms, he broke her lips from his, "CJ… I can't…" He started, but was powerless to finish when he saw the hurt presented in her eyes.

But anger instantly masked her pain, "You can't what? Kiss me? Be with me? You've been to hell and back and you still don't know a good thing when it hits you? Are you serious with that shit?"

"Going to hell doesn't change who I am CJ. You've always known that this life you want isn't me. That hasn't changed just because I'm back."

"So what was all that before you left? Was I just an easy way to pass the time? A guaranteed booty call before the end of days? Because I deserve better than that."

"You're right, you do, and that's why I'm telling you – I can't do this."

"How do you know until you try?" She almost pleaded.

"It's not who I am. It's not how I'm built." He tried to be compassionate.

"And DJ? What about him?"

"I can still be his father."

"You can't just drop in and out of his life whenever you choose. He needs you."

He frowned, "I'm a hunter. I'm always going to be a hunter. But no matter what, I will be around for DJ."

More tears found their way to her eyes as she lowered to the couch underneath the window, "I should've just died." She said, barely above a whisper.

But Dean heard her, "What?"

She dared to meet his gaze with hers, "The night you, got bit… I was there."

His face instantly masked anger, "What about DJ?"

"I left him with Ellen. I had to try and save you."

"Even though I told you not to?"

She jumped up to her feet, "Newsflash – taking orders; not my thing."

"And what if you'd have died? Our son would've been left with no parents."

"You think I don't know that? But I was under some misguided notion that his parents would be together, if only his mother could save his father."

He shook his head, "I never promised you that."

"You told me you loved me! Usually that means something!"

"I do love you, I wouldn't lie about that. But you want the 9 to 5 office Dad and the white picket fence and I can't give you that."

"I want you. I don't care how." She told him honestly, her anger waning.

"And I can't promise to give you what I'm not capable of. That wouldn't be fair to you." He said resting a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

Not waiting for the invite, Christina stepped into his arms and allowed him to comfort her. She wanted Dean more than anything but she knew it was a battle she'd lose and she'd rather keep him in her life as father of her son than be without him again.


	3. Chapter 3

**TWO**

_Bobby's House, South Dakota – September 18, 2008_

Christina stood propped against the doorframe watching Dean with their son with a heavy heart. She wasn't sure if having him back would turn out any better than him being dead. He'd made it clear a relationship with her wasn't on the cards, and that's what she wanted more than anything, so to have him around was going to prove difficult. The truth was she knew Dean was unable to commit to one woman; it wasn't in his mechanism but it didn't stop it hurting. And every time she saw him that pain would be there, regardless of the years that passed.

Whatever her opinion was of him at the moment, he was a good father and she couldn't fault him for his honesty. Still, she didn't have to like it. She'd imagined that if they'd managed to find a way to bring him back that he'd have a new found appreciation for her but deep down she knew Dean Winchester wasn't about to change.

"You OK?" Her father asked over her shoulder.

She nodded and turned to him with tear tracks down her cheeks. "I just thought…" She started but didn't manage to finish before another wave erupted from her eyes.

Bobby pulled her into a hug, "I'm sorry Princess."

"You tried to tell me, I should've listened."

"If there was one person I expected him to change for, it'd be you."

Pulling away she looked up at him, "Yeah, you and me both. But it seems Dean Winchester doesn't give a shit who you are, no one will ever be good enough."

He affectionately reached up to nudge her chin, "You should be with someone who knows what he has when he has it. Someone who wakes up every morning saying to himself that he's lucky to be with you."

Although his words had been designed to comfort her, they didn't. If having a child with this man and offering herself to Lilith, as a trade for him wasn't enough to make him realise how much he meant to her, nothing else was going to. But her perspective changed in an instant. The last thing she was going to do was to let him know how much he'd hurt her, or plead with him for a chance – that would just result in driving him away. If it killed her, she would let him see that it didn't affect her and that she could be happy without him – even if it was just an act. She would show Dean Winchester that life didn't begin and end with him.

She wiped away her tears and took a deep sullen breath, "I guess it's time to let him go."

= X =

Dean looked across the room at the woman that had brought his son into the world and felt a twinge of guilt. Before his trip down the pit he'd been guilty of taking advantage of how she felt about him, in order to feel like his life hadn't been a complete waste of time. But he never actually promised her anything, he was very careful about that. At first he'd wanted to distance himself from her, to make it easier for her once he was gone but he hadn't been able to deny his feelings and once he'd confessed them, it was just simpler to give her what she wanted seeing as he wouldn't be around forever. Except now, he saw the error of his actions. He'd led her into a false belief that he would change for her, and the truth was he couldn't see himself changing for anybody.

He did feel remorse, but he had to be true to himself and it wouldn't have been fair to lead her on anymore than he already had. So, he'd had to tell her. He couldn't let her go on any longer thinking that he was ready to leave behind his hunter lifestyle and become 'normal' when it was all he was.

He drew his attention back to his son, and his heart swelled with pride – his trip down the pit hadn't changed that. He'd grown so much in his four-month absence. He was more like a little person now than he'd been before. He was capable of holding his head up steady when he was held upright, he could roll over from his stomach to his back and he was already making vowel sounding noises. He hadn't been prepared for how much he'd developed, but he could see himself reflected in the boy, despite how young he was. His namesake had the same piercing stare with green eyes and flashing smile – minus the pearly white teeth. He had a perfectly proportioned round face and dimples in his cheeks whenever he laughed. Then there was the dent in his chin – he was definitely a Winchester, there was no denying that. But if he could see it, he knew others would be able to too.

= X =

Christina – despite her heartbreak – ventured into the lounge toward Dean playing with their son. Rejection was the worst feeling in the world but she had to suck it up in order for him to be a father.

"Even after four months, he knows who you are." She said forcing a smile as she dropped down on the couch beside him.

He smiled at DJ and then looked back at her, "You've done a good job with him."

She nodded accepting his praise graciously, "It's been hard, on my own. But he's a good boy." She said reaching out to brush his cheek with the back of her forefinger. "Aren't you?" The bouncing 5 month old kicked out with his feet and smiled at her in response.

Dean looked over at Bobby at the doorway, "Your Dad hasn't…"

"Been able to get his head out of the bottle." She answered his question before he'd finished asking it.

"What about Sam?"

"What about him?"

"Hasn't he helped?"

"He'd have to be around to help Dean."

He turned slightly in her direction, "You haven't seen him either?"

"No, not since the night we almost… died." She lied realising quickly what information she was about to slip out.

He frowned; sure she was holding back on something. But he didn't want to push it. He knew the night he'd died was a sore subject and didn't want to open up any more wounds than he already had in his short time back.

"Here, take him." Dean said passing DJ back to her and getting up to his feet.

= X =

Bobby sat perched on his desk as Dean used the phone to try and locate his brother. He felt somewhat guilty for not keeping a better eye on the young man left in his charge, but Sam had been determined to deal with his grief alone – and he couldn't fault him because he'd done the same.

"Yeah, hi. I have a uh- cell phone account with you guys, and uh, lost my phone, I was wondering if you could turn the GPS on for me." Dean lied into the receiver as soon as the call connected. "Yeah, the name's 'Wedge Antilles'… social's 2474… thank you." He said hanging up and heading to the other room where Bobby's computer was.

Bobby followed him, "How'd you know he'd use that name?"

"Are you kidding me? What don't I know about that kid?" He replied sitting at the desk and logging into the Arc Mobiles website. He reached over and lifted one of the empty bottles off the desk next to him, Christina's earlier comment springing to mind immediately. "Hey Bobby, what's the deal with the liquor store, hmm? Your parents out of town or something?"

"Like I said, the last few months ain't been all that easy." He replied honestly, stood the other side of the desk from Dean.

The younger man forced his eyes up to his father figure and felt instantly sympathetic when he saw the sadness masked on his face, "Right." He said softly before turning his attention to the computer. On the screen was a red dot, marking Sam's location, with the address displayed beside it. _263 Adams Road, Pontiac, Illinois. _Dean took a second to process the information and leaned back in his seat, "Sam's in Pontiac, Illinois."

"Right near where you were planted."

"Right where I popped up." He added. "Hell of a coincidence don't you think?"

= X =

Christina was sat holding her son, feeding him a bottle when Dean walked back into the room. "Did you find him?" She asked.

"He's in Pontiac." He sighed as he sat down next to her.

"What are you thinking?" She asked, knowing something was playing on his mind.

He shook his head, "I think he made a deal."

Knowing the truth, but being unable to tell him without leaking information he didn't need to know, Christina averted her eyes from his, "He was pretty determined to get you back."

Dean rubbed his brow, trying to hide any trace of the worry that had set up camp there. "I don't know what I'm going to do with him."

She glanced back over at him, "Don't worry, Sam's not stupid Dean. I'm sure he found a way to get you back without selling himself off to the highest bidder."

"How can you know that?"

"Maybe I just know him a little better than you think you do."

He took immediate offence. "No one knows him better than I do."

She sighed, "I didn't mean it like that."

"Then how did you mean it?"

"I just think there's a side of Sam that he doesn't show you, that's all."

"Well maybe you don't know him as well as you think you do either." He said, designed to hurt her. "Sam's black and white CJ; there is no grey area with him."

She exhaled heavily, "Alright Dean. You're right. I don't know your brother at all." She said shifting to the edge of the couch and getting up to her feet to leave the room with her son in her arms.

He watched her leave and hung his head. All he'd done since he'd seen her was hurt her, and he seemed powerless to stop it. He wanted to maintain a relatively good relationship with her that would enable him to see his son at every available opportunity but so far he'd done everything to ensure they weren't going to be on good terms. Of course, most of his attitude came from the fact that no one had seen his brother since he'd gone down the pit and that worried him.

With a weary sigh, Dean got to his feet and headed out to the car – where Bobby was headed when he left him. But upon reaching his destination he noticed they had extra cargo.

He frowned, "What's going on?" He asked the driver.

Bobby looked at his daughter and grandson in the backseat. "She wants to come along for the ride."

"We don't know what we're going to find down there. It could be dangerous."

"She's just as worried about Sam as we are. She just wants to see that he's OK."

He rubbed a hand down the length of his face. He could barely deny her that after everything he'd put her through so far that day. So, begrudgingly, he sighed and nodded. "Yeah OK. But she stays in the car until we know what we're up against."

Bobby nodded and opened the drivers' door to climb in behind the wheel as Dean got in the passengers side.

Brazenly, Dean turned to the woman in the backseat. "Are we good?"

Stubbornly she nodded, only half paying attention to him. "As good as we can be." She replied making sure DJ was secured in his car seat.

"Then let's see about getting you and your brother back together again." Bobby said starting the engine and driving away.

Astoria Hotel, Pontiac, Illinois

Dean and Bobby walked down the corridor toward the room the owner had given them for his brother. They could see it up ahead, room 207. Reaching the door, they stopped and glanced at each other before Dean knocked on the wooden divide with his fist. A minute later a brunette neither of them knew pulled the door open wearing nothing more than her underwear. He looked her up and down as he did the same.

"So, where is it?" She asked.

Dean looked across at Bobby with a frown before looking back at her, "Where's what?"

"The pizza that takes two guys to deliver."

Dean peered around the doorframe and surveyed the inside of the room briefly, "I think we got the wrong room."

But he'd barely finished his sentence before Sam appeared from the bathroom; "Hey, is the-" Upon spotting his brother, his words stuck in his throat and stunned him into silence. He looked from Dean to Bobby and back again, gulping back emotion.

"Hey ya Sammy." His brother said, instant relief transforming his features into a soft expression.

The girl that had answered the door instinctively moved out of his path as he walked into the room in time for Sam to lunge at him, much like Bobby had when he'd first seen him. He pushed him into the wall, wielding a knife in his direction and Dean fought to keep from being stabbed as Bobby made a move to restrain the younger brother.

"Who are you?" Sam yelled as the older man pulled him away.

Dean frowned, "Like you didn't do this?"

He tried to free himself from Bobby's grasp but the older man had a firm hold on him, "Do what?"

"It's him, it's him Sam." Bobby confirmed trying to calm him. "I've been through this already, it's really him."

Sam immediately stopped struggling, "But…"

Seeing his brother was calmer, Dean took a step forward, "I know. I look fantastic, huh?"

Bobby released the young man, and he took a minute to take another look at his brother before he pulled him into a tight hug. He'd tried everything to save him from the pit, and just when it looked like he was running out of options – he was here. He could feel how tightly Dean was hugging him back and he knew he was just as relieved to see him. Tears stung his eyes and Bobby watched on with the same emotions as the boys felt. After months of trying to save him, to have him back without having to lift a finger was more than they could hope for and something they'd only question later.

As the Winchester's finally pulled apart, the brunette made herself known. "So, are you two like… together?" She asked looking from one man to the other from her position by the open door.

"What? No, no. He's my brother." Sam set her straight.

"O-oh, got it… I-I guess." She replied before looking at the man she'd been with prior to their arrival. "Look, I should probably… go…"

He was quick to agree, " Yeah, yeah. That's probably a good idea. Sorry."

Dean smiled and nodded at her. If he was honest, it didn't look like his brother had been living his usual bachelor lifestyle in his absence. Maybe he had taken having to be like him in order to survive a little too literal.

= X =

Sam opened the door to allow his guest to leave and she walked out into the hall before turning back to him.

"So, call me." She said shyly.

Leaning against the doorframe with his left hand, he smiled at the young woman. "Yeah, yeah, sure thing Kathy."

"Kristy." She corrected him, her face losing any trace of the smile it had once had.

"Right…" He replied, looking amused.

Kristy hesitated before walking away and Sam watched her leave with a sigh. That had been a close call. But thankfully, now she was gone so was his chance of being found out.

Dean – listening in – knew that this wasn't the Sam he'd left back in May. He sounded more like him and he was worried. He'd always been used to his brother being the yang to his ying, his conscious when he wanted to do something questionable, and his rational thought when he was thinking of going after something without proper preparation. This Sam was Dean, and he had to snap him out of that.

= X =

Looking up from her seat in the back of her fathers' car Christina's eyes connected immediately to the woman who'd just walked out of the doors of the Astoria. She'd know that face anywhere, regardless of the one she wore. With her son in her arms, she opened the car door and stepped out onto the sidewalk.

"Ruby!" She yelled out, knowing her gut instinct was right. And sure enough the young woman stopped and turned to face her.

But when she laid her eyes on her, she cursed herself. "Damn!"

Christina gained on her, "So, you got your hooks into Sam."

"What?" She asked, caught off-guard.

"You're here; he's here, so I assume you've been here together."

"Sam's here?" She asked innocently, glancing up at the hotel.

She sighed, "Stay away from him Ruby."

She folded her arms across her chest and shifted her weight to one side, her body language screaming out attitude. "When Sam wants me to stay away, he'll let me know."

"Sam doesn't know what he wants. But I'm telling you, stay away."

Ruby leaned toward her a little, "What are you going to do? Last I heard you were drained of all your power."

"I don't have to have demon blood in me to kill you. You're just a demon."

"A demon with Sam on her side."

"You think he could be BFF with a demon?" She laughed.

"We're not just friends." She said trying to push her buttons.

Christina instantly felt sick at her confession, but she had to believe she was lying. "You're clutching at straws Ruby. If it comes to a choice between you and his family, he's going to pick family every time. The sooner you come to terms with that, the sooner you can crawl back under the rock you call home."

= X =

Sam lowered to the bed to put on his shoes, Bobby was sat on a chair nearby and Dean was propped against a dresser – his arms crossed over his chest – watching every move he made.

"So tell me, what'd it cost?" Dean asked, eager to get the interrogation underway.

Sam's eyes met with his, "The girl?" He asked glancing at Bobby with a short laugh. "I don't pay, Dean."

"That's not funny Sam." He dropped his eyes to the ground momentarily before looking back at him. Sam looked up at him. "To bring me back. What'd it cost? Was it just your soul or was it something worse?"

Sam frowned, "You think I made a deal?"

"That's exactly what we think." Bobby said emotionlessly from where he was sat.

He looked back at him, "Well I didn't."  
"Don't lie to me." Dean almost pleaded.

His brother looked back up at him, hurt projected in his eyes. "I'm not lying."

The older brother unfolded his arms and took a step forward, toward him, "So what? Now I'm off the hook and you're on, is that it? You're some demon's bitch boy. I didn't want to be saved like this."

Bobby could see the confrontation coming, so when the older man made a move toward the younger man, he got to his feet.

Sam was instantly angry and stood up to face him, "Look Dean, I wish I had done it all right-"

Dean grabbed him by the shirt threateningly, "There's no other way that this could have gone down, now tell the truth!"

He forced his brother's hands off him and took a step forward, "I tried everything, that's the truth. I tried opening the Devil's Gate, hell, I tried to bargain Dean, but no demon would deal all right?" He confessed his emotions close to the surface. "You were rotting in hell, for months- for months and I couldn't stop it. So I'm sorry it wasn't me all right?" He disconnected their eyes. "Dean, I'm sorry."

Feeling guilty for accusing him of something he knew he'd been prepared to do in order to bring him back, Dean spoke softly to his brother, "It's OK Sammy. You don't have to apologise, I believe you."

"Don't get me wrong, I'm gladdened that Sam's soul remains intact, but that does raise a sticky question." Bobby voiced.

"If he didn't pull me out then what did?"

= X =

With a deep breath, Christina walked up the corridor toward the room where Sam was staying. She was nervous about seeing him given that they hadn't spoken since that night. But – at the same time – she was eager to have him back. She could only assume though, that Dean and her father didn't know about Ruby, because they wouldn't have waited around to ask questions – she'd already be dead.

Reaching the door, she couldn't help but notice the tacky plastic heart shape behind the room number and she rolled her eyes. Maybe Ruby had been telling the truth about her and Sam's relationship, the evidence would certainly suggest that, but she didn't want to believe it. Another wave of nausea washed over her. The idea of Sam getting that close to a demon was enough to make her throw up her breakfast. She gulped to keep her food in her stomach and took a deep breath before reaching up to knock.

As Sam opened the door, his breath caught in his throat upon seeing her standing there in front of him. He'd forgotten how much he'd missed her. He'd forgotten the feeling of calm she seemed to bring along with her. He'd forgotten that feeling he had when she'd kissed him. But it all came flooding back when he looked in her eyes.

"Hey Sam." She smiled, with a soft expression.

"Hey." He said, barely aware of it.

Still she stood there, waiting to be invited in, and it didn't look like it was coming anytime soon. She smiled, "You going to let me in?"

"Yeah, yeah. Come in." He said moving aside to allow her access. He closed the door as she walked inside and turned to face her, addressing the young boy in her arms. "Hey DJ."

With a smile, Christina offered her son to his uncle, but none of them were prepared for what came next. As Sam reached to lift DJ from his mothers' arms, he was sent flying into the nearest wall, landing in a heap on the floor.

Christina frowned down at her son, "Hey, it's OK. It's your Uncle Sam."

Dean looked from DJ, to Sam, to Christina. "What the hell did he do that for?"

"I don't know, maybe it's because he hasn't seen him for a while."

"He didn't do that to me."

She looked at Sam, "Maybe it's the company he's been keeping." She said having a sly dig at him. "Been around any demons lately Sam?"

He got up to his feet and brushed himself off, "No." He lied with a frown.


	4. Chapter 4

**THREE**

Christina sat on the bed with DJ watching on as Sam passed Dean – sat on the coffee table – and Bobby – sat on the couch behind it – a beer before sitting down next to her. He threw her a glance and instantly looked at the sleeping boy she held. He suspected the reason he'd reacted the way he had toward him was because of Ruby and he knew that Christina knew something that she'd eventually have her say about. What he didn't know was how she knew. He forced a smile at the mother before turning his attention to Dean, as he spoke.

"So, what are you doing around here if you weren't digging me out of my grave?" He asked screwing open the top on his bottle.

"Well, once I figured out I couldn't save you, um, I started hunting down Lilith, trying to get some payback." He replied taking a swig from his own bottle.

"All by yourself?" Bobby asked as something caught Dean's attention. "Who do you think you are, your old man?"

"Uh-"

Dean got up to his feet and walked in front of Sam toward the bed, "Huh…"

"Yeah, I'm sorry Bobby. I-I should have called. I was pretty messed up."

The focus of his brother's attention became clear when he held up a bra that had been on the bed next to him. "Oh, yeah, I really feel your pain." He said somewhat sarcastically.

Christina rolled her eyes. Never did she think she'd see the day when Sam would turn into a mirror image of Dean, but the evidence was hard to shake off. It made her uneasy. Ruby had obviously been right, her and Sam were more than friends, and that made her scared. She didn't trust the demon one bit, but if they were sleeping together the chances were that she'd convinced him she was trustworthy. She was ready to fly at him, but she had to reserve judgement until she knew anything for sure.

Sam caught the look on her face and dropped his head, "Anyways, uh, I was tracking these demons out of Tennessee, and out of nowhere they took a hard left, booked up here."

"When?"

"Yesterday morning." He said taking another sip of beer, looking across at Bobby.

Dean immediately looked to the oldest man in the room, "When I busted out."

"You think these demons are here 'cause of you?" Bobby asked him. Dean's only response was to pull a face to suggest he thought it was a possibility.

"But why?" Sam asked.

"Well, I don't know, some badass demon drags me out and now this? It's gotta be connected somehow." Dean answered his brother's question.

Bobby was suspicious, "How you feeling anyway?"

"I'm a little hungry."

"No, I mean, do you feel like yourself? Anything strange or different?"

"Or demonic?" He asked knowing what he was trying to get at. "Bobby, how many times do I have to prove I'm me?"

"Yeah, well listen, no demon's letting you lose out of the goodness of their hearts." He said causing Dean to roll his eyes. "They gotta have something nasty planned."

"Well, I feel fine." He said, taking a swig from his bottle.

"OK, look, we don't know what they're planning OK. We got a pile of questions and no shovel. We need help." Sam said.

"I know a psychic, few hours from here. Something this big? Maybe she's heard the other side talking."

"Hell yeah, it's worth a shot." Dean agreed.

Bobby got to his feet, "I'll be right back." He said waking out of the room.

Dean stood up, intending to follow after him, but Sam stopped him. "Hey, wait." He said standing up. "You probably want this back." He continued grabbing the pendant he wore from under his shirt. It was the pendant Sam had given him when they were kids, which he'd taken to keep a piece of his brother with him after he'd been killed. He handed it back to him.

Dean held it in his open palm, and looked down at it. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it." He said with a nod as his brother put on his necklace. "Hey Dean, what was it like?"

He looked up at him, registering slowly what he was asking about. "What? Hell?" He waited for confirmation, but Sam just looked back at him.

Christina listened intently, not really wanting to know the torture he'd gone through – but somehow needing to in order to understand which Dean had come back. She knew he wasn't the same man that had left them four months ago – and although it was expected – it was still a little hard to face.

"I don't know, I-I-I-I- must have blacked it out. I don't remember a damn thing." He replied to his brother's question.

Sam looked somewhat relieved, "Thank God for that."

"Yeah." He nodded.

= X =

Dean walked into the bathroom and flicked on the light beside the mirror. Wiping a hand down his face, he leaned on the sink and looked at his reflection, his eyes the focus. He could hear screaming in his ears – his own screams – as images flashed before his eyes. He was covered in blood and he could feel the paralysing pain of the hooks in his body. Then, without warning, they stopped. He squinted at the reflection looking back at him, trying to decipher the things he'd seen.

= X =

Christina straightened from putting DJ – who was fast asleep – in his stroller and looked across at Sam. Now was probably the only chance she'd have to ask him about Ruby and she was damn sure she was going to take it. She was mad as hell that he'd kept his distance from her and his nephew for four months, and yet he'd managed to stay in touch with a demon.

"So, when did she find you?" Christina asked him as they were left alone.

He frowned, "Who?"

"Ruby."

"Ruby?" He repeated.

"I saw her leave Sam, so don't deny it."

"You _saw _Ruby?" He asked not believing it. "She's a demon CJ. Unless you've got a hellhound on your tail, you wouldn't be able to _see_ her."

She hesitated, realising he was right, and immediately began to question how it had been possible. Maybe the powers she had once had weren't completely gone like she suspected, or maybe her father being a demon had something to do with it – whatever it was, that wasn't the point she was trying to make. "I have no idea why, but I saw her."

He looked at her suspiciously, "Did you make a deal for Dean?"

"Wouldn't that be ironic?" She countered with a short laugh.

"CJ."

"Relax Sam, I didn't deal." She clarified. "But I _did_ see her. She walked straight out onto the street in front of me, so I know you've been with her." He exhaled heavily, relieved that she hadn't sold her soul to the devil but read quickly the lecture he knew was coming. "She's dangerous Sam. So whatever she's got you into…"

"She hasn't got me into anything." He started to defend her. "You know, I'm sick of everyone assuming the worst of her."

"Is that why you haven't told Dad or Dean about her?"

"She's helped me out a lot these past months." He said avoiding her question.

"Yeah, I bet she has."

"Why can't you trust that I know what I'm doing?"

"Because she's blindsided you. She has you thinking that you can trust her."

"And what makes you so sure that I can't?"

"She's a demon. It's pretty self explanatory." She retorted. "I don't know how she's made you believe she has good intentions, frankly, I don't care, but you need to remember that."

"I know alright. I'm not stupid. But we're both not all that different from her CJ, as much as we try to kid ourselves that we are."

"We're not demons Sam."

"But it's in our blood."

"It's not the same."

"How is it not?"

"Well, we're human for a start." She snapped.

He sighed, dropping back down to sit on the bed, "Sometimes it barely feels like it."

She repeated his action, feeling instant sympathy for him. "All I'm saying is, just be on your guard. The only one Ruby is looking out for is Ruby and you're kidding yourself if you think otherwise."

"She's the only one who's been there for the last couple of months."

She reached out to affectionately touch his knee, "I would've been too, if you'd have let me."

He looked down at her hand and up at her face, seeing something underlining her action, "I've missed you." He admitted.

She smiled, thankful that their last encounter hadn't made him hate her, "Yeah, I've missed you too."

He took a deep breath and deflected the sudden building tension, "So, you and Dean…"

The mention of his brother made her move her hand from his knee, "Are done."

"Yeah, I thought I could sense some hostility. You guys have barely said a word to each other."

She got to her feet and headed over to where her son lay sleeping in his stroller, "That's because he's an ass. But thankfully not all Winchester men are the same, that's some silver lining I guess." She said referring to DJ.

He followed her, "I can't believe how big he got."

She forced her eyes up to him, "You missed a lot of stuff while you were gone."

This time it was his turn to show some affection, reaching out to rest his hand on top of hers as she held the strollers handle, "Well, I'm not going anywhere."

She nodded, "Good, I kinda like having you around."

That's when Dean walked out of the bathroom and Christina immediately shot away from Sam like a lightning bolt had struck between the two.

"Am I interrupting something?" He asked with a frown.

She grabbed at her fringe and tucked it behind her ear, "No, we were just catching up."

Although the frown disappeared from his face, on the inside it held strong. There was definitely something going on between them that neither of them were ready to admit to and it made him uneasy. He hated secrets. He'd witnessed it tear families apart and destroy relationships, and he didn't want either of those to happen. Regardless of wanting to distance himself from Christina, he still loved her and would feel a sense of loss without her in his life and Sam was his blood.

"Well, let's go." Dean said refusing to allow the thoughts to fester.

= X =

Bobby started down the wooden steps to the parking lot with Christina and the boys closely behind him. "She's about four hours down the interstate." He informed them. "Try to keep up." He said opening his driver door. "You riding with me Princess?"

Christina threw a glance at Dean, "Yeah." She said walking around the car and pulling the front seat forward so she could put DJ in his car seat as her father got in behind the wheel.

"I assume you'll wanna drive." Sam said throwing the car keys at him as they approached his beloved '67 Chevy Impala.

An instant smile met his lips, "Oh-oh-oh. I almost forgot." He said running his hand up her bodywork, from the boot to the drivers door, as he inspected the exterior. "Hey sweetheart, you miss me?" He asked opening the door and getting in.

Once her son was strapped in, Christina threw a look toward the brothers to find Sam at the passengers' door looking back. He flashed her a smile and she did the same before climbing in alongside her father.

Sam got in the car to find his brother inspecting the interior of his most treasured possession. His eyes landed on the iPod connected to the dashboard. "What the hell is that?"

He wore a smile on his face as he answered, "That's an iPod jack."

Dean wasn't impressed, "You were supposed to take care of her, not douche her up."

He let out a short laugh, "Dean, I thought it was my car."

His brother raised his eyebrows and twitched his cheek mockingly before starting the engine. But when Jason Manns 'Visions' started to play through the speakers, he threw a look of contempt at Sam. "Really?"

He shrugged his shoulders in response. Dean grabbed the iPod and threw it in the backseat, causing the music to stop as he put the car in gear and started on their way.

= X =

They'd been on the road for about thirty minutes and the car had been silent for as long as they'd been moving. Bobby knew something was playing on his daughter's mind, and he guessed it had everything to do with Dean. She'd been a different person all day, on the verge of tears but fighting the foreign emotions. Of course he hadn't seen the effect Dean's death had on her so tears for his daughter was not the norm. He threw her a glance, to find her staring ahead at the road in a trance like state.

"You OK Princess?" He asked looking between her and where he was headed.

"Huh?" She asked, conscious he was talking to her and taking a minute to allow his question to register. She nodded, emotionless, "Yeah."

"I doubt he meant it, you know." She frowned at him, not sure of who and what he was making reference to. So he clarified. "Dean, when he said about you two not being together."

She looked back at the road, "Actually Dad, I think you'll find he meant every word of it."

"He loves you Princess. A man doesn't just shake those kind of feelings."

She sighed, "I don't really care."

He was doubtful of her honesty, "That's why you've been like a sulky teenager all day."

"I have not." She snapped cutting her eyes at him. "I've just had stuff on my mind."

"You're not fooling anybody sweetheart."

"Dad, can we not talk about this right now? I just… I can't talk about it."

He nodded, knowing how raw it was for her, "OK, we'll talk about something else."

The car fell silent, the tension in the air thick. Christina wasn't in the mood to talk and Bobby didn't know what subject to broach in order to spark interest. Dean's return was a mix of emotions for both of them. For Christina it was bittersweet, seeing her dream future wash away before her eyes, and for Bobby – it could be said – it was the same. He was glad to have the young man back where he belonged, but not at the expense of his daughters happiness.

"What was that stuff between you and Sam earlier?" He probed.

That was enough to get a reaction. Her head whipped around to look his way, "What stuff?"

"All that talk about demons. Is there something I should know?"

She casually looked back to the road, "No. But it's hard to know what he's been up to since he cut himself off from us."

"Yeah, why was that?"

That night came flooding back in an instant. The way his hands caressed her skin, the way his lips pressed against hers and how powerful his body felt beneath her touch. But she forced her focus back to her Dad, who was awaiting an answer to his question.

"No idea. He just upped and left." She lied, shrugging for effect.

= X =

The engine of the Impala roared as they veered round a corner. Dean was enjoying being back behind the wheel of his beloved possession, he felt like he'd been away too long. He missed the feel of the steering wheel as he gripped it, steering her in any direction he wanted to take. He knew his obsession with his car was bordering on unhealthy, but he couldn't help being proud of being her owner. She was a classic car, and he'd kept her in pristine condition – apart from that time that demon had tried to drive a truck through her – and he was happy to find her pretty much the same. His eyes glanced to where the iPod jack had been and he rolled his eyes back to the road. How dare Sam try to update her, she was perfect the way she was.

"There's still one thing that's bothering me-" Dean's voice came out of nowhere.

"Yeah?" Sam asked looking over at him.

"Yeah, the night that I bit it – or got bit-" He said, raising his eyebrows. "How'd you make it out? I thought Lilith was gonna kill you."

He looked back to the road, "Well, she tried, she couldn't."

He frowned, "What do you mean she couldn't?"

"She fired this like burning light at me, and… it didn't leave a scratch, like I was immune or something."

Dean's creased brow held fast, "Immune?"

"Yeah." He scoffed. "I don't know who was more surprised her or me." He took a long deep breath. "She left pretty fast after that."

"Huh… what about Ruby, where is she?" He threw him another look.

"Dead, or in hell." He knew he was lying to his brother, but he knew he wouldn't be ready to learn he had such a close relationship with the demon.

Dean pulled his bottom lip inside his mouth, mussing over the new information he had. "So, you been using your, uh, freaky E.S.P stuff?"

He made eye contact with the man driving. "No-" Again, he lied.

"You sure about that? Ah, well, I mean, now that you've got immunity, whatever the hell that is, I'm just wondering what other kind of weirdo crap you got going on."

"Nothing Dean." He replied exasperated. "Look, you didn't want me to go down that road, so I didn't go down that road. It was practically your dying wish."

"Yeah, well, let's keep it that way." He said concentrating on the road and throwing his brother a sideways glance.

= X =

Christina watched as the world went by in darkness, lit up occasionally by car's travelling the other way. Her father's need to be supportive earlier was still annoying her. In the four months since Dean had been gone he hadn't even given her a second thought, and now he wanted to be a parental figure offering her advice. It wasn't so easy. The fact he could pull it together the minute Dean was back, but made no effort to get it together when she'd needed him was enough to make her want to strangle him. He'd been so blinded by grief that he hadn't considered how she'd coped with her own agony. At this point, she wasn't even sure he cared about anything so long as Dean was back.

They were horrible thoughts, but she felt that maybe it would have been better if Alastair had killed her in that basement, because she barely saw the reason to be alive. DJ was the only thing keeping her going. She felt like a third wheel, she wasn't even sure why she'd insisted on tagging along; it was obvious she wasn't needed – nor wanted. But at least Sam had looked happy to see her.

Her eyes felt heavy, and fighting to keep them open wasn't working. She was exhausted. All the months of shedding tears had finally caught up to her, now she could relax. Slowly her eyes drifted shut, and an almighty pain striking her skull was the only thing she felt. She gritted her teeth as the painful images played in her head and her body tensed as she tried to manage the scream boiling in the back of her throat.

Bobby skidded to a stop on the road, concerned for his daughter, almost causing Dean to smash into the back of his vehicle. But his focus was on Christina.

= X =

Dean's foot slammed on the brake as he realised too late that Bobby had grinded to a halt. His tyres screeched on the asphalt, the tracks trying to grip onto what little it could to keep from hitting the car in front. He steered away from the awaiting accident and managed to stop alongside the only other vehicle on the road. Both he and his brother lunged forward, smashing their faces on the Impala interior, and were immediately flung back against the back of their seats.

"What the hell?" Dean questioned rubbing his neck, inspecting for any signs of whiplash before glancing over at his brother. "You OK Sam?"

The younger man groaned, "Yeah, I think so."

That's when Dean shot a look out of his window. He could see Bobby attending to Christina and panic hit him hard. His concern for her took over any aches he'd felt seconds earlier, and he climbed out of the car.

"What happened?" He asked pulling open the passenger door and ducking inside.

"She just buckled over." Bobby replied.

"Is she conscious?" Sam asked joining them.

"I don't know."

That's when Christina sat back up straight in her seat, panting as the pain passed and rubbing at her brow. "Yes, I'm conscious."

"What the hell happened?" Dean asked still perplexed.

"Damn vision."

Bobby and Dean exchanged glances, "Have you been having them a lot?" Her father asked.

"Not since I had DJ."

Sam frowned, "So why now?"

"It's a warning. Something bad is coming."

Dean glanced at Bobby and over his shoulder at his brother, "Well, that doesn't sound like fun." He said before looking back at the only female in their company. "What did you see?"

She shook her head, "Nothing good."

"What does that mean?"

"He's coming."

Sam frowned, "Who?"

"Lucifer." She said almost barely audible.

= X =

Bobby leaned against the front end of his car as Dean paced back and forward between the two vehicles. "Lucifer. I mean, that can't be good."

Sam chose to ignore his brother's freak out and addressed Christina, who was sat in the passengers' seat of her fathers Chevelle, "How come you're having premonitions? I thought your powers were gone."

"So did I?" She replied, trying to decipher what she'd seen.

Dean stopped dead and threw a look over his shoulder at her, "You lost your powers?"

She nodded, "The night I tried to save you, I drained most of my blood because I didn't want Lilith getting hold of it. So when Dad got me to a hospital, I needed a transfusion." She explained. "I'm a Singer now, at least that's what the DNA test said."

"Except you're still getting visions?"

"I guess after all that, I'm still the daughter of a demon." She was worn down. Just when she thought her life couldn't get any worse, she was proven wrong. This was much worse. She'd spent four months living like she was a full blood human and only now did it transpire that the disease inside her had been lying dormant, like an STI.

Sam could empathize. He knew exactly what she was going through. The demon part of her wasn't something she could rip out or ever scrub clean, it was a part of who she was and he could identify. As much as everyone else insisted it was a part of her she shouldn't give in to, he knew she could feel the darkness pumping through her veins – slowly blackening her soul with each new day.

He headed over to her and lowered to one knee in front of where she sat, "You've got to stay strong OK. Don't let it beat you."

Something in his voice emulated understanding, and she knew he did better than anyone. But she thought she was free of her demonic connections and to know his blood was still driving through her body was enough to force her over to the dark side so she could maim and destroy as many of them as possible before _they_ killed her. Still, having the power she'd eventually grown familiar with could only be an advantage in their fight against what was to come.

Suddenly she got to her feet, "I'm starving. Who wants to get some food?"


	5. Chapter 5

**FOUR**

Dean was taken back by her suggestion, despite his own hunger bringing his stomach to life. "You come out with that revelation and you're talking about food?"

"It's nothing I haven't gone through before." She replied, seemingly numb.

"Except you thought you'd lost your powers."

"Weird stuff has been happening all day."

"I'll say." Bobby agreed.

Dean rubbed his forehead, "You need to tell us what you saw CJ."

As if on cue, DJ started to grizzle and Christina rushed to remove him from his car seat. "Hey there little buddy." She tried to calm him by bouncing lightly on the spot. But he started to cry a little harder.

"What's the matter with him?"

"He's hungry. Can you pass me the bottle out of his bag?" She asked her father.

Bobby rushed to the bag behind his seat and removed the bottle from the foam keep warm container. He passed it to his daughter and as she made a move to start feeding him, Sam stopped her.

"Can I try?" He asked, much to the surprise of the others.

Dean frowned, "Do you like getting thrown around?"

Christina's heart went out to Sam when she saw the sad look in his eyes, and – in an instant – she had an idea. "Give me your shirt." She told Dean.

He frowned, "Why?"

"It's how Sam got him to eat while I was in a coma." She informed him. "Now give me your shirt."

Without another word, he did as he was told and passed it to her. She gave it to his brother, "Put it on."

= X =

Satisfied that DJ was content with Sam, Christina made a move toward Dean who was stood by the roadside looking out over the woods. She'd been waiting to get him alone since the hotel room.

She approached quietly, but he knew she was there. He'd learned to recognise her footsteps and if that wasn't enough, he was used to the way she smelled. It was like soap and body spray with a hint of her strawberry scented shampoo.

"You lied to Sam earlier didn't you?" She asked softly over his shoulder. He glanced back at her, but didn't speak. "You remember, don't you?" She said. It wasn't a question. It was a statement. There was no way anyone was letting him out of the pit without the memory of being there. She could almost see the images burned into his skull and emulated in his expression. She didn't have to have a degree in psychology to know he was affected by what had happened down there. He was distant, not only from her, but from their son too. He hadn't so much as looked at him since they'd left Bobby's.

"What?" He asked, caught off guard by her accusation.

"What they did to you – you remember it all, don't you?" She clarified a little not wanting to push too hard.

He shook his head, "I-I don't know what you're-"

She sighed, "You don't have to tell me Dean. But you should tell someone."

"I can't – I-"

She reached out to him. "If you don't, it'll destroy you."

"Talking about it isn't going to make it go away CJ. It's just going to make it worse."

"You can't keep lying to your brother Dean. He's going to find out."

He turned to her, "You're going to lecture me on lying? Really?" He asked, keeping his voice low.

She frowned, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"What was all that with Sam back at the hotel?"

"Nothing. We haven't seen each other in months, we were just talking."

"No. You're hiding something Christina. So don't talk to me about being honest when you won't do the same." He said blowing past her.

She spun on her heel to face him, "You know what? Screw you. From now on, I'm done." She shouted into the silence of the night.

"There you go, deflecting again!"

Bobby shot a look at Sam as he continued to feed the boy in his arms, "Sounds like there's a storm brewing."

Sam nodded, "Yeah."

"I'll be back." He said heading off toward his daughter.

She stopped and cast a look back at him, "What am I supposed to be deflecting Dean? Huh? Enlighten me."

"You don't want to tell me what's going on so you go on the defensive. It's classic Christina."

"I'll show you classic Christina." She said walking up and hitting him on the jaw. She'd been waiting all day to do that.

Dean examined his jaw for any signs of bleeding momentarily and was about to go back at her when Bobby grabbed her by the waist and dragged her away from him. "That's enough." He said lifting her from her feet and spinning to lower her, putting himself between the two. "What's gotten into the pair of you? You haven't seen each other since May and you can't make it through one day without arguing?"

Christina immediately took on the stance of a teenager, "Tell him, he started it."

Dean frowned, "Are you in friggin' high school?"

"Shut up before I smack you in that pretty boy mouth of yours."

Bobby rolled his eyes, "Both of you pack in and let's get back on the road."

= X =

Christina sat in the passengers' seat of her father's car on the way to the nearest roadside diner, stunned. She'd lived since May believing she'd been cured of her demon heritage, even though deep down she knew it was nothing that could be fixed by draining her blood and substituting it with Bobby's. DNA couldn't be replaced, she knew that but it didn't explain why the test had come out the way it had. Maybe she'd never get the answer to why, but she felt like a Singer despite her powers resurfacing.

She was beginning to feel like the world was against her, she didn't feel important enough to Bobby, Sam felt like a stranger and Dean didn't want her. So to find out the demon blood still flowed through her was barely enough to shake her. It was just another kick while she was down. DJ was the only one keeping her going.

His daughter's silence was deafening. He couldn't hear her thoughts but he knew what she was thinking, and he was concerned. She'd had so many knocks today that he wasn't sure if her frame of mind was in tact – her flying at Dean had practically proved that. He could almost see the fracture of her demeanour and he didn't mind admitting he'd probably contributed to her frailty since Dean's death.

"Chrissie." He tried to snap her out of her thoughts.

Her head whipped around, "Yeah?"

"What are you thinking?"

She smiled to appear nonchalant, "I'm wondering if they've got pancakes on the menu." She lied, deciding she didn't want anyone to know what she was thinking.

"You don't want to talk about what happened back there?"

She shook her head, "No."

But he pushed, "What the hell happened between you and Dean?"

"He pushed my buttons, that's all." She shrugged.

"Seems he has a way of doing that." He mused concentrating back on the road.

= X =

"What was all that back there with Christina?" Sam asked as they continued to follow Bobby.

He looked over at his brother suspiciously. "I asked her what was going on between you two and she attacked me. So is there something I should know?"

He gulped, now was not the time for any kind of confession. "Dean, she's your girl."

He looked back at the road, "Not anymore."

"She was until you felt the need to break up with her." He frowned, curiosity getting the better of him. "Why did you break up with her?"

"C'mon Sammy, settled down with a kid? That's you, not me."

"It was you for a while." He pointed out.

"That was before."

"He's still your son Dean."

"And I'll be a Dad to him, I just can't be with CJ."

"Was it really that bad?"

"No, but one woman for the rest of my life? I couldn't do that."

Sam laughed, "You never know what you're going to get from one day to the next with her."

"Tell me about it, her personalities split so many ways, she could go for group therapy on her own."

= X =

By the time they pulled over at the nearest roadside diner, the sky was beginning to get light. It had been a long night by all accounts and the prospect of dragging it out by stopping was something that didn't sit well with Christina. She'd had enough of Dean and his smart mouth already, and he'd only been back a day. She was still reeling from his revelation of not wanting to be with her and she was mad as hell. He'd filled her with false hope in the months leading up to his deadline, and she'd been misguided into thinking that they'd live happily ever after – if it hadn't been for his deal. Of course, it was much more than she ever expected to get from him – ever – but she convinced herself that if she could get that out of him, then maybe she would get her fairytale ending. How wrong she'd been. It made her angry. She should've known better than to fall for the facsimile of what she wanted.

She was still angry when she climbed out of the passengers' seat and retrieved her son from the safety of his harness. He oogled at her, which forced her to break into a smile but when she clapped eyes on Dean, her scowl returned beneath the surface of her features. She hung back, allowing him and her father to walk ahead and Sam stayed with her.

"Hey." He smiled.

She forced her face to mirror his, "Hey."

"You OK?"

She gritted her teeth, "I swear one more person asks me if I'm OK, I'm gonna start swinging."

He held up his hands to ward of an imminent attack, "I'm sorry. But you look like you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders."

She sighed, "It's just been a tough day."

He nodded, "Yeah."

= X =

Dean looked over at Christina as she sat entertaining their son between bites of breakfast. He could see a change in her, like a flick had been switched. It was as though the months previous to his trip down the pit hadn't happened, like their slate had been wiped clean and he hated it, but he knew it was the product of his own doing.

"Hey. You OK?" He asked trying to force conversation.

"Hmm." She nodded, her eyes trained on DJ.

"Are you going to talk to me?"

She shrugged, "Got nothing to say."

"CJ."

"What? You wanted this didn't you Dean?"

"No, I never wanted this."

"Well, this is what you've got. So, do me a favour, stop trying. You don't want me, and I get that. But don't act hurt because I'm not talking to you."

"I just want…"

"What you want doesn't concern me anymore."

"C'mon, don't be like that."

"You created this monster so you don't get to play the victim."

"OK, you need time. I can understand that." He nodded. "But when you're able to look at me again, I'm going to be around."

"DJ's the only one you need to make promises to now Dean. I don't need you anymore." She said getting up from her seat with her son and moving to a vacant chair by the window.

It was hard not to notice her as Sam approached, "Everything OK?" He asked his brother as he occupied her seat.

Dean glanced over his shoulder at her, "She's giving me the silent treatment."

"Hardly surprising. You did just break her heart."

"I didn't break her heart." He doubted the accusation.

"You didn't see her when she came out of her coma Dean, I did. Trust me, that woman would've gone to the end of the earth just to have you back."

"And now I am, she can't even bring herself to look at me."

"She just needs time."

= X =

The images replayed in her head like a bad horror movie. She'd been forced to witness the torture Dean had been subject to in hell, during her vision, and it was on constant playback. She could feel the sting as the demon peeled his skin off his bones layer by layer, she could taste the blood in his mouth as he refused to scream, and she could feel his resolve crumbling. It was like someone had written down her worst nightmare and then made it her screensaver. She felt sick to her stomach. She didn't want to see the images she saw, she didn't want to relive them over and over but they were burned into her skull. She couldn't shake them. She couldn't look at him without picturing Alastair bearing down on him with his weapon and maybe that had attributed to her over reaction at the roadside. She'd been trying to be nice, despite how he'd made her feel when he broke her heart, but his flat refusal to confide in her had made her angrier. Dean wasn't exactly the kind of guy that wore his heart on his sleeve, but she'd thought if he was aware she knew that he'd be more willing to share. He obviously wasn't ready to face up to it yet and pushing him had been a big mistake.

Tears stung her eyes as she looked out the window at the slow developing scenery, as it got lighter. She couldn't imagine what frame of mind he'd come back in, having been through that. But he would get all the space he required, because she'd meant what she'd said earlier – she was done. Done with his macho man bullshit mask he wore. Done with being nice. Done with praying for some kind of reciprocation to her feelings. Done with Dean Winchester, full stop. Angrily she wiped away the sting of the tears. She was done crying for a future that wasn't going to happen. He could be a father to his son, but she was out.

Sam cautiously made his way over to where Christina had moved to and made a gesture to the seat opposite the table as she looked up at him expectantly. "Can I sit down?" She nodded and he took a pew. "How you doing?" She threw a stern glance at him and he broke into a smile. "I didn't ask if you were OK."

She smiled and then sighed, long and hard, "Ah, I've been better."

He glanced over at his brother, "He doesn't mean stuff the way it comes out you know."

"It's not only about Dean, Sam. I guess the last four months are just catching up on me." She lied. No one needed to know the things playing on repeat.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I took off. But I was pretty messed up."

She nodded understandingly, "You weren't on your own Sam. I think we all were. The difference was that I had to be OK, because of DJ."

His sigh emulated sorrow. "I guess it all fell on you."

She shrugged, "I'm a big girl, I can look after myself."

"I should've called."

"And if you had, it probably wouldn't have helped. I was forced to be a mother to my son, and if it wasn't for him, I'd have fallen apart too."

He leaned forward in his seat, "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, anything."

"What did you see? In your vision."

Her eyes dropped to the table, "It was horrible Sam. It was chaos and pain… pure evil."

"Can we stop it?"

"I don't know, maybe. Hopefully."

"Do you know how?"

She shook her head; "I don't know the actions leading up to it so I haven't got a clue."

He shifted and leaned back against the seat, "Maybe I need to stop it."

"What can you do Sam that no one else can?"

"I've learned a lot while Dean's been gone."

"From Ruby?" She enquired in a hush tone.

Sam's eyes darted around the diner to check she hadn't been overheard, "She's given me some pointers."

"Sam, she's not sniffing around you because she's in love, there'll always be something in it for her."

"I've heard this speech already today CJ. How many times do you have to say it?"

"As many as it takes for you to get it. I don't trust her and neither should you."

He reached out to grab the hand she had resting on the table. "Trust me." He almost pleaded.

She squeezed his fingers slightly and nodded, silently relaying her belief in him.

= X =

"You ready to get back on the road?" Bobby asked approaching the table where Christina and Sam had left Dean.

He took the last bite of his breakfast and nodded, throwing a glance over to where his brother sat. He was in time to watch him reach out to the only woman among them and his brow creased. It seemed they'd got close since his death.

"Hmm." He sounded out as thoughts developed in his head.

He could've sworn that Christina had told him that she hadn't seen Sam since the hellhound came for him, and he knew they weren't that close before – there was definitely something he was missing but he aimed to get to the bottom of it.

He looked up at Bobby, "Do you know what's going on between those two?"

He took the chance to glance over his shoulder at them and instantly looked back at Dean, "Nothing. They're talking."

"Seems like all day they've been huddled up, talking in secret. Like they don't want me to hear what's going on."

"I'm sure you're just being paranoid."

He disagreed with Bobby. There was something more than talking going on between them. But he forced a smile at the older man, "Yeah, I must be."

= X =

Dean was the first out of the diner, closely followed by Sam. By the time they got to the Impala, Bobby was walking out to follow them but there was no sign of his daughter.

Dean looked behind him, "Where's CJ?"

"She's decided she wants to book up at the motel out back, get some sleep." Bobby answered. "I'll pick her up on our way back through."

He threw a look to his brother and quickly nodded, removing his keys from his pocket. "OK. Let's go see the psychic wonder, see if she can shed some light on what brought me back."

= X =

Christina looked around the grubby motel room and sighed. It had been a while since she'd been hunting and had to be subjected to the tacky motels of the USA, but it was as if they were a part of her making. The dreary wood covered walls and the moose head hanging above the bed didn't shock her, in fact it was one of the nicest places she'd had the unfortunate luck of staying in.

Without so much as a second thought, she threw down DJ's bag off her shoulder and placed him in the middle of the double bed as he slept. She needed to get her head down. All the images flashing in front of her eyes were giving her a headache and she needed to try and sleep them off. Although, she didn't like her chances. They were haunting, and every bit an excuse as to why Dean had come back to her a broken man – even though he did his utmost not to show it.

He was another reason why she'd decided to stay behind. It was one thing to have him back but quite another to spend time with someone who was obviously uncomfortable with her presence – and watched her every move, especially with Sam. She knew he'd have his suspicions about what was going on between them at the Astoria, and it was only a matter of time before he found out. So the more she was away from Sam, the less likely it was that Dean would make the connection right away.

Being careful not to squash her son, Christina climbed on the bed next to him and watched the gentle rise and fall of his chest. It was so tranquil that it didn't take her eyes long to close – guiding her to sleep, without the horrible images that had once been there.

= X =

Hearing the knock on her door, Pamela made her way to answer it. That would be the guest's she'd been expecting. Pulling open the divide, her eyes landed on her old friend, Bobby Singer. It had been a while since she'd seen him, and he rarely had to ask her for help. So if he was here, this was serious. Not to mention he'd brought along the only man to survive hell and return from it.

She smiled and walked out to greet him with her usual bear hug, "Ha-ha, Bobby!"

The brothers watched and glanced at each other amused, as she lifted him from his feet, before lowering him back down where he'd been standing.

"You're a sight for sore eyes." Bobby smiled.

Her eyes immediately diverted to the Winchester as she folded her arms across her chest and examined them. "So, are these the boys?"

"Sam, Dean… Pamela Barnes. Best damn psychic in the State."

Dean forced her a smile. "Hey."

And Sam followed suit. "Hi."

"Mm-mm-mm." Pamela approvingly vocalised, checking them out. She quickly threw a look at her old friend, who cocked his head at her, and she looked back at the eldest brother. "Dean Winchester, out of the fire and back in the frying pan huh? That makes you a rare individual."

He closed his mouth and pulled the corners down a little, pushing his lips toward her. "If you say so."

"Come on in." She said inviting them inside, turning to her side so they could get past her.

Bobby was the first one inside and as he passed her, she patted him on the back with a muted chuckle. "So, you hear anything?" He asked with Dean and Sam close behind him.

"Well, I Ouija-ed my way through a dozed spirits." She replied closing the door behind them and turning into the room. "No one seems to know who broke your boy out or why."

"So what's next?"

"A séance I think. See if we can see who did the deed."

Bobby was instantly worried, "You're not gonna summon the damn thing here?"

Pamela smiled, "No. I just wanna get a sneak peek at it." She said walking up to him and tugging on his jacket as she made her way through the three men. "Like a crystal ball without the crystal."

Dean threw a look at Bobby, "I'm game." He said, causing the older man to look at the younger brother and sigh.


	6. Chapter 6

**FIVE**

Pamela placed a black cloth over her round table with the right symbols to carry out the séance printed on it and crossed the room to a cabinet. As she bent her knees, squatting to reach inside, she revealed a 'Jesse Forever' tattoo at the base of her spine that didn't escape Dean's notice. He nudged his brother and nodded in the woman's direction, drawing his attention to it too.

"Who's Jesse?" Dean asked.

Pamela laughed and turned her head toward him, "Well, it wasn't forever."

"His loss."

She got back up to her feet and walked over to them on her way back to the table with the candles she'd retrieved. "Might be your gain." She said, placing the candles on the table.

Dean turned his back to the table, encouraging his brother to do the same as he raised his eyebrows. "Dude, I am so in." He said, keeping his voice low.

"Yeah, she's going to eat you alive." Sam sniggered.

"Hey, I just got out of jail… bring it!" He welcomed the challenge.

Pamela walked up behind them and leaned in toward Sam, "You're invited too grumpy." She said winking at the younger brother, causing him to smile and almost break out into a laugh as she walked away.

Dean pointed at his brother, "You are not invited."

= X =

Christina woke with a start. A vision had interrupted her sleep, and not for the first time. She hadn't missed these. She hadn't missed the headaches they left behind, or the nausea they seemed to create. She'd been quite content being 'normal' for four months. But now they were back, and with a vengeance.

Her eyes glanced down at her son, to check he was still sleeping and she reached for her phone. She had to phone her Dad and stop the séance before it was too late. She'd seen what was in store for Pamela if she caught a glimpse at what had brought Dean back and they had to be warned.

She speed-dialled her father's phone, but it rang a couple of times before cutting to answer phone. So she called Sam's number – only to get the same thing. Dean was her last hope, but when she couldn't get through, she decided to leave a voice mail message.

"You can't let Pamela see it Dean. It's going to end badly." She said frantically, hoping he'd get the message before it was too late, but somehow she knew there was no stopping it.

= X =

With the table prepared and the six candles lit in the centre, Pamela, Bobby, Sam and Dean took their seats. She used a minute to prepare herself mentally for what she was about to do and addressed her visitors.

"Right, take each other's hands." Pamela said, causing them to do exactly as instructed. She in turn reached under the table. "And I need to touch something our mystery monster touched."

Dean jumped and kicked the underside of the table as she laid her hand on him, "Whoa! Well, he didn't touch me there!"

She laughed, "My mistake."

Dean glanced at his brother, who smiled and raised his eyebrows at Bobby in amusement. Bobby cleared his throat as Dean removed his left arm from his shirt and pulled up the sleeve of the t-shirt underneath to reveal the handprint. Sam was surprised as he took in the raised burnt like scar on his brother's bicep for the first time, and looked to Bobby for a reaction, only to find none.

"OK." Pamela said resting her hand over the handprint while Sam stared at his brother in disbelief. Dean threw him a glance but didn't cater to his bemusement, before pulling his sight back to the centre of the table. That's when they closed their eyes and Pamela began to chant. "I invoke, conjure and command you, appear unto me before this circle. I invoke, conjure and command you, appear unto me before this circle." Dean opened his left eye and looked at Pamela as she continued. His eyes travelled to Bobby and to Sam. "I invoke, conjure and command you, appear unto me before this circle." The TV clicked on in the background, the picture gone with static in its place, and Dean's eyes were drawn to it. "I invoke, conjure and command you-" The table began to shake slightly and Dean looked down at it. "Castiel?" Dean's eyes shot to her, a frown positioning on his brow. "No, sorry Castiel, I don't scare easy."

"Castiel?" He asked.

"It's name, it's whispering to me, warning me to turn back." She replied turning to address him but keeping her eyes closed. "I conjure and command you, show me your face." Dean looked at Bobby to find his eyes still closed, so turned to look at his brother, whose eyes also remained closed as Pamela continued to chant. "I conjure and command you, show me your face." The table began to shake more, and Dean squeezed his eyes shut. "I conjure and command you, show me your face."

Sam opened his eyes with the movement of the table and looked over at Bobby, whose eyes were now open too.

"I conjure and command you, show me your face." Pamela chanted. Bobby looked around, panic masking his features. "I conjure and command you, show me your-"

"Maybe we should stop." The older man suggested.

"I almost got it. I command you, show me your face, show me your face now!"

Pamela screamed as the flames on the candles leapt up high. Her eye sockets filled with a bright white light and blood started to run out down her face. Her eyes closed as she seemed to loose consciousness and fell from her chair to the floor.

All the men watched in amazement, but Bobby barked instructions to get them moving. "Call 911!"

Sam got up and rushed to the phone in the other room as Bobby and Dean knelt down next to Pamela. The older man cradled her in his arms as she panted heavily. She opened her eyes to look at him, but there was nothing to see him with – her eyes had burned out of their sockets.

"I can't see, I can't see-" She cried. "Oh, god… oh-oh God."

= X =

Dean hung up his phone, as Sam approached him at the table in Johnny Mac's Home-style Diner finishing a call himself.

"Yeah you bet." The youngest brother said hanging up before referencing to Dean's call. "Everything OK?"

"It was CJ trying to warn us." He replied shoving his cell in his pocket. "Guess she had another vision." He gestured to the call Sam had just taken. "What'd Bobby say?"

"Pam's stable, and out of ICU-"

"And blind because of us."

Sam sighed, "And we still have no clue what we're dealing with."

"Well, that's not entirely true." His brother corrected him.

"No?"

"We got a name, Castiel or whatever. With the right mojo, we could summon him, bring him right to us."

Sam frowned, "You're crazy. Absolutely not."

But Dean was steadfast, "We'll work him over. I mean, after what he did?"

"Pam took a peek at him, and her eyes were burned out of her skull, and you want to have a face to face?" He was astounded at the suggestion.

"You got a better idea?"

"Yeah, as a matter of fact I do. I followed some demons to town right?"

"Okay…"

"So, we go find 'em. Someone's gotta know something about something." He said as the waitress brought them their food.

But she didn't leave as normal, instead she pulled out the extra chair at the table and sat down.

Dean frowned, "You angling for a tip?"

"I'm sorry, I thought you were looking for us." She said, her eyes turning black.

A customer that had been sitting at the counter got up from his seat and headed for the door, but instead of leaving, he locked it. It wasn't until he turned into the room that they saw his black eyes, and so too were the eyes of the cook stood behind the counter.

The waitress' eyes flashed back to normal, "Dean, to hell and back, aren' t you a lucky duck?"

"That's me." He responded.

"So you get to just stroll right out of the pit huh? Tell me, what makes you so special?"

"I like to think it's because of my perky nipples." He smirked. But the waitress just looked at him with contempt. "I don't know, wasn't my doing. I don't know who pulled me out."

But she didn't believe him, "Right, you don't?"

"No, I don't."

"Lying's a sin you know."

"I'm not lying." He answered, pissed his honesty was being questioned.

The waitress threw a look to Sam, to see if there was any sign that what he was saying wasn't the truth, but he just glared back at her with hate in his eyes.

Dean continued, "But I'd like to find out, so if you wouldn't mind enlightening me Flo-"

"Mind your tone with me boy." She snapped. "I'll drag you back to hell myself."

Sam made a move to attack before she did, but Dean held up his hand to stop him – his eyes still trained on the demon.

"No you won't." He said.

"No?" She asked.

"No, because if you were, you would have done it already. Fact is, you don't know who cut me loose, and you're just as spooked as we are and you're looking for answers." He bravely explained his theory. "Well, maybe it was some turbo charged spirit, hmm? Or uh… Godzilla, or some big bad boss demon, but I'm guessing at your pay grade that they don't tell you squat. Because whoever it was, they want me out, and they're a lot stronger than you. So, go ahead, send me back, but don't come crying to me when they show up on your front doorstep with some Vaseline and a fire hose."

"I'm gonna reach down your throat and rip out your lungs." She timidly threatened, embarrassed.

Dean casually leaned forward, resting his arm closest to her on the table. He stared at her with a smirk on his face and then reached out to slap her across the face, causing her head to snap round. Slowly she turned back to look at him, while her demon friends watched on without taking any action. He slapped her again, sending her head in the opposite direction – and still none of them reacted.

"That's what I thought." Dean said. "Let's go Sam."

= X =

Christina laughed as she sat on the floor playing with her son; the images of Dean in hell had all but vanished from behind her eyes. Having him back was enough to give her a headache, never mind the replay of his torture. She was exhausted, despite having slept for more than nine hours, which was more than she'd had in the last week. But DJ had a way of making her forget her pain; it was how she'd managed to make it through four months without contemplating suicide just so she could break him out from the inside instead of the other way around.

DJ had recently discovered his hands and feet so he was fascinated with his toes, which he'd hold onto as he rocked side to side beneath his baby gym. The toys hanging above him only served to hold his attention for a short period of time before he looked for other forms of entertainment.

His mother had to drag her eyes away from his face in order to check the time, only to discover he was due to be fed. She instantly got up to her feet and flicked on the kettle to boil as she took a tub of pureed vegetables from his bag. She was starting the weaning process and so far it was going well, it seemed he'd got an appetite for real food and she didn't need to guess who he'd inherited that trait from. He was definitely his fathers' son.

She used a bowl to put some boiling hot water in and placed his tub inside it in order to heat it through. She had no desire to leave the room in order to warm it in a microwave like she would usually; she just wanted to keep him safe until she got home. There'd been no threat on his life as of yet but that may have been because she'd barely left the safety of her apartment, since it was still under the protection of her spell. She knew it was only a matter of time before they tried to come for him, and she wanted to be as prepared as possible for the fight when it did. It was something she'd had to be ready for alone up to now, but with all the men back in her life – she held out more hope of winning.

= _Later That Night _=

Dean was propped up in a seated position, fast asleep with a book resting in his lap when Sam slipped out the motel room. He'd been waiting for his chance to leave and after hours, he'd managed it. He hadn't wanted to leave those demons back at the diner, but his brother had insisted upon it. Now was his chance to rectify that mistake. Any opportunity to kill a demon these days and he wasn't letting it pass him by. He slid behind the wheel of the Impala and put the key in the ignition before bringing the engine to life. Although he couldn't fully appreciate the love his brother had for the car, he'd gotten attached to it like it was his own.

= X =

Dean was still asleep on the couch bed when the TV clicked on, casting a light over the room with the static picture on screen, and the radio dial shifted back and forth unaided. The noise they created gently woke him from his slumber and he reached up to his left eye, rubbing it before taking a look around the room. He closed the book he'd fallen asleep reading, sudden realisation that this had happened before at the gas station, and leaned over to retrieve his shotgun from the floor. He stood up, his gun locked and loaded waiting for something to trigger an attack and noticed his brother's bed was empty. Suddenly the high-pitched screeching sounded out through the room, and he tried to cover his ears while trying to stay armed. But when the glass in the room started to shatter, he fell to the floor and noticed too late the mirror – once mounted on the ceiling – come hurtling down toward him. He wasn't sure when he'd dropped his weapon, but he was now covering his ears trying to protect them from the sound as it got louder and louder. He screamed out in pain as blood coated his palms and Bobby burst into the room.

"Dean! Dean!"

= X =

Sam sat parked up outside Johnny Mac's Diner waiting to make his move when his cell phone rang. Reaching for it, he checked the callers ID and immediately answered it.

"Hey." He said into the mouthpiece.

"What are you doing?" Came his brothers' voice down the line.

"Couldn't sleep, went to get a burger." He lied. He knew Dean wouldn't like him going after the demons, never mind on his own. But he'd gotten so used to hunting alone now that it was going to be a hard habit to break, especially when he disagreed with his brother.

"In my car?"

"Force of habit, sorry. What are you doing up?"

= X =

Dean was sat in the passenger's seat of Bobby's beat up Chevelle, being chauffeured to nowhere in particular, on the phone to Sam.

"Well, uh… Bobby's back, we're going to grab a beer." He said causing the driver to look round at him, taking his eyes off the road. Dean held up his hand to silence him before he spoke.

"All right, well uh, spill some for me huh?" He replied.

"Done, yeah. Oh and, would you pick up CJ and take her back to Bobby's when you're done? We'll meet you back there."

Sam frowned, "Sure. But why?"

"I don't like her being on her own. Whatever yanked me out the pit might go after her to get to me."

His face softened, although it went unseen. She was always going to be his girl, regardless of how much he fought it. "Alright, I'll see you back at Bobby's."

"Catch you later." He said hanging up.

Bobby's frown didn't budge as his eyes moved between Dean and the road, "Why the hell didn't you tell him?"

"Cause he'd just try to stop us."

"From what?"

"Summoning this thing." He announced. "It's time we face it head on."

"You can't be serious."

"As a heart attack. It's high noon baby."

"Well, we don't know what it is, it could be a demon, it could be anything." He tried to reason with him.

But Dean wasn't about to be deterred. "That's why we gotta be ready for anything." He said pulling out Ruby's knife from his pocket. "We got the big time magic knife; you've got an arsenal in the trunk."

Bobby drew his eyes back to the road, "This is a bad idea."

"Yeah, I couldn't agree more, but what other choice do we have?"

"We could choose life."

"Bobby, whatever this is, whatever it wants, it's after me, that much we know, right? Well, I got no place to hide. I can either get caught with my pants down again, or we can make our stand."

"Dean, we could use Sam for this."

"Naw, he's better off where he is."

= X =

Sam snuck in through the front door of the diner and looked around. The place was in darkness, the light filtering in from the street was the only illumination and that, at best, was enough. He instantly saw the body of the cook lying face down on the floor and slowly made his way over, not sure if he was playing possum. Kneeling, he turned the body over and saw his eyes had been burned out, just like Pamela's. He got back up to his feet, staring at the body, when the waitress tackled him from the side.

They both crashed into a table and some chairs in the middle of the room, gaining her the advantage as she sat on top of him and started hitting him in the face. Sam grabbed her and head butted her three times before throwing her off him, allowing them both to get to their feet. She instantly lashed out, punching him and he pulled up his knee to her face before attacking her torso with the same body part.

Stood before him, she held up her fists, ready for his next attack, but Sam could see that her eyes were also burned out.

"Your eyes." He said.

"I could still smell your soul a mile away." She responded, not daring to let her guard down.

"It was here, you saw it."

"I saw it." She confirmed.

"What was it?"

She was distraught. She was practically crying but the tears wouldn't come, without any eyes to bring them. "It's the end, we're dead, we're all dead."

"What did you see?"

She scoffed, "Go to Hell."

Sam was hoping for answers. He was hoping she'd at least give him some information, even though he bet she knew he was there to destroy her. But, deep down, he knew she wasn't about to help a hunter. "Funny, I was gonna say the same thing to you." He said, letting her know the end had come. He lifted his right hand out in front of him, toward her and closed his eyes – concentrating.

The woman started to choke and black smoke started to pour out of her mouth. The host dropped to the floor, clutching at her throat, as the demon was pulled out of her, burning into the tiles as Sam sent it back home to Hell. He opened his eyes, lowered his hand and took a deep breath. It was getting easier to do the stronger he got. He walked over to the body of the female and checked her pulse, but there wasn't one.

"Dammit!" He cursed. Usually extracting the demon kept the host alive, but this woman must have been killed before he got to her.

Suddenly there was movement at the back, the kitchen door opened and the same girl from his hotel room walked out of the shadows.

"Getting pretty slick there Sam, better all the time." She praised him with a smile as she approached.

He looked from her to the body on the floor and sighed, "What the hell is going on around here Ruby?"

"I wish I knew." She replied.

"We were thinking some high level demon pulled Dean out-"

"No way Sam. Human souls don't just walk out of Hell and back into their bodies easy. This guy bleeds, the ground quakes, it's cosmic. No demon can swing that, not Lilith, not anybody."

"Then what can?"

"Nothing I've ever seen before."

= X =

Inside a red barn off the side of the road, Bobby sprayed the last of the symbols on the floor in white paint. The inside was plastered with them because he wanted to be prepared for whatever was coming. Getting to his feet, he walked over to the Winchester boy, who had been put on weapon detail.

"That's a hell of an art project you got going there." Dean said.

"Traps and talisman's from every faith on the globe." Bobby responded. "How you doing?"

He looked down at the table, "Stakes, iron, silver, salt, knife, I mean, we're pretty much set to catch and kill anything I've ever heard of." He said, pointing at each weapon in turn.

"This is still a bad idea."

"Yeah, Bobby, I heard you the first ten times." He sighed. "What do you say we ring the dinner bell?"

The older man walked over to the other table in the barn and sprinkled a vital ingredient needed for the ritual over a bowl, which began to steam. "Matéus spiritus obscuré..."

= X =

Christina was going stir crazy. She wasn't used to having to wait. She was usually a part of the fight, and – although she'd suggested staying behind, thinking it best given how close she was to ripping Dean's head off his body – she hated waiting. Staring at the same four walls was beginning to get stale. She'd have thought they'd have been back for her by now.

With a deep sigh, she picked up her phone – as DJ continued to play with his toys on the floor next to her – and scrolled through her address book. She instantly highlighted the new number she had been given for Dean, and moved her thumb to poise over the call button, but quickly changed her mind, hitting the back button so the picture of DJ showed up on her front screen. She wouldn't appear desperate, even though she was – desperate to have him, all of him. She would give him what he wanted, even if it killed her. She would allow him to be a father to her son, if that's what he wanted – and she suspected of that he would soon get tired of – and she would continue to live her life as though he had died the day he went to Hell.

Of course in all honesty, she'd barely been living in his departure but – she was still breathing – and so help her as long as there was a breath left in her body, Dean Winchester would rue the day he ever thought it was OK to lead her on.

= X =

Ruby and Sam were sat opposite each other in a booth in the diner talking, seemingly oblivious to the dead bodies lying on the floor around them.

"So, the million-dollar question. You gonna tell Dean about what we're doing?" She asked him upfront.

"Yeah, I just gotta figure out the right way to say it." He replied. But when she looked at him sceptically, he was forced to continue. "Look, I just need time, OK, that's all."

"Sam, he's gonna find out, and if it's not from you, he's gonna be pissed."

He scoffed, "He's gonna be pissed anyway. I mean, he's so hard headed about this psychic stuff, he'll just try and stop me."

"Look, maybe I'll just, take a step back for a while."

"Ruby-"

"I mean, I'm not exactly in your brother's fan club, but he is your brother, and I'm not gonna come between you."

"I don't know if what I'm doing is right, hell, I don't even know if I trust you-"

She immediately offence, "Thanks-"

"What I do know is, I'm saving people, and stopping demons, and that feels good. I wanna keep going."

= X =

Bobby sat armed with a shotgun, whistling, swinging his feet on one table. Dean sat opposite him on the other with Ruby's knife, twisting the handle in his fingers while the tip bed into the surface of the wood beneath him. They were waiting for whoever Castiel was. But they'd been waiting a while, and the youngest man was impatient.

With a sigh he looked across at his father figure, "You sure you did the ritual right?" He questioned causing Bobby to give him a stern look. "Sorry, touchy, touchy huh?"

Dean put the knife down and made a move to rub his eyes when the wind picked up. The barn started to shake and the metal sheeting on the roof started to lift up, banging as it dropped back down against the wooden beams. The men both stood up and took in their surroundings.

"Wishful thinking, but maybe it's just the wind." Dean suggested.

At that point all the light bulbs above their heads exploded and the door, that was barricaded shut with wooden panels, flew open, snapping the wood like they were twigs. A man, wearing a suit and an overcoat, walked through the doorway calmly toward them. Dean and Bobby backed up and raised their guns, as the man got closer. They both opened fire on him but their shots had no effect on him and he kept walking toward them. Even the traps and talismans didn't stop him.

Dean grabbed Ruby's knife off the table and circled him. "Who are you?"

"I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition." He replied devoid from emotions.

"Yeah, thanks for that." He said sarcastically before stabbing him in the heart with Ruby's knife, but nothing happened.

He looked down at it and reached down to pull it out, before dropping it to the floor. Bobby, who stood behind the stranger, attempted to hit him over the head with a crowbar but he raised his right arm and caught the weapon in mid-air without looking. He turned toward the older man and whispers filled the enclosed space as he placed two fingers on his forehead causing Bobby to instantaneously fall unconscious and drop to the floor.

The new arrival turned his eyes to the other man. "We need to talk Dean… alone."

= X =

Christina flicked off the TV with a huff. She was bored beyond belief, but she was limited for entertainment without leaving the room and she wasn't about to go off where no one would find her in case they tried. She wanted to be ready when her father came for her, ready to get back to normal life. She looked down at her son, who had rolled over onto his stomach and lay banging the floor with his hand – keeping himself occupied. She wished she could be as simple to keep amused. She walked over to the small fridge beneath the TV and pulled it open to find it empty but for four beers. Usually she wouldn't drink while she was the soul provider for DJ, but she was willing to make an exception in her boredom. She pulled out a bottle and twisted off the top before taking a sip. Her face screwed up upon her first taste. It had been so long since she'd actually drank any alcohol, that she'd forgotten how much she disliked it. She got to her feet and headed to the sink to dispose of the liquid, now she'd tasted it she didn't want it. She threw the bottle in the waste bin and then returned to the floor with DJ.

= X =

Dean leaned over Bobby and checked his pulse; he could feel the thud against his finger. He threw a look over his shoulder at the man who was calmly flipping through a book, which had been on one of the tables.

"Your friend's alive." He said, answering his glare.

"Who are you?"

"Castiel."

"Yeah, I figured that much. I mean, what are you?"

"I'm an angel of the Lord."

Dean stood up and turned toward him, "Get the hell outta here, there's no such thing."

"This is your problem Dean, you have no faith."

From nowhere, lightening cracked down on the barn lighting it up and casting the shadow of huge wings extending from Castiel's back and across the wooden shell. Dean could do nothing but watch as the lightening stopped as suddenly as it had started.

"Some angel you are, you burned out that poor woman's eyes."

Castiel sighed and looked to the floor, "I warned her not to spy on my true form, it can be… overwhelming to humans, and so can my real voice. But you already knew that."

"You mean the gas station and the motel. That was you talking?" He nodded a response. "Buddy, next time, lower the volume."

"It was my mistake, certain people, special people can perceive my true visage, I thought you would be one of them, I was wrong."

"And what visage are you in now, huh? What holy tax accountant?"

"This- this is a vessel."

"You're possessing some poor bastard?"

"He's a devout man, he actually prayed for this."

"Look, pal, I'm not buying what you're selling, so who are you, really?"

"I told you."

"Right, and why would an angel rescue me from hell?"

"Good things do happen, Dean."

"Not in my experience."

"What's the matter? You don't think you deserve to be saved."

"Why'd you do it?"

"Because God commanded it." Dean clenched his jaw, and stared at Castiel, still sceptical. "Because we have work for you."


	7. Chapter 7

SIX

Once DJ had fallen asleep, after his bottle, Christina placed him in his stroller and covered him with a blanket. She needed a shower, so she had to be sure he was going to be safe while he was left unattended. She went to the bathroom – leaving her son in the bedroom – and turned on the water as she started to undress. She felt grubby and needed revitalizing. A shower was the best cure to put life in her body. She stepped under the fountain and lifted her head up, allowing it to splash on her face. Closing her eyes, she bathed beneath the cascading faucet. She could feel the tension in her limbs melting away, disappearing down the drain.

She leaned forward, resting her hands on the tiled walls surrounding her and caught sight of the promise ring Dean had given her for Christmas when she'd been pregnant. She hadn't taken it off since he'd put it on her finger. It was her only tie to her old life with him, before DJ had been born and he'd gone to Hell. It was a constant reminder that she'd been close to having exactly what she wanted. She hadn't been able to take it off because it spoke volumes about the way he felt about her – at least at one time. He'd picked it, and – to her at least – it was like he'd given her a piece of his heart. Not that it stood for much now he was back – but still she couldn't bring herself to remove it and she'd been trying to talk herself into it all day. She wanted to make a dramatic scene of throwing it back in his face, sticking her fingers up to him for ever thinking he could manipulate her with her feelings, but she knew she'd regret it and possibly be playing right into his hands. Besides, that wasn't the kind of woman she was. She'd wallow in her own deep unhappiness, never giving him an inkling that anything was wrong and make him feel stupid for ever letting her go. After all, the best way to get back at Dean Winchester was to make him believe your world hadn't come crashing down the minute he'd decided to walk away, even if it had.

She reached for the soap and created lather in her hands before covering her chest with it. She could feel the raised scars beneath her fingers from where Alastair had used her for torture practice and it made her sick to her stomach, it always did, even four months later. She had them on her legs and her arms too, it was the main reason her clothing always covered her. She couldn't stand to look at them, and she didn't want to force anyone else to have to. At first she hadn't really been bothered, but the strange looks she got from strangers and the whispers she could be certain were about her changed all that. Now the only place she wore a sleeveless shirt was at home. Her confidence had taken a huge knock of late, and Dean's return had only resulted in enforcing her growing belief that she would always be alone, except for her son. She felt unattractive, she felt like damaged goods and she had zero self worth. The only people she truly felt appreciated her for who she was – and would always continue to do so – were her father, her son and Sam.

She had common ground with the youngest Winchester, ground that no one else would understand. They were both contaminated with a disease that neither of them could rid themselves of and that had united them. They were so similar in so many ways that she wished she didn't love his brother so much, because then maybe she'd have all the things she truly desired, because she knew that – someday – he wanted it too.

With a weary sigh, she washed the rest of her body, shampooed and conditioned her hair before climbing out the shower and drying herself off with a towel. The redness of the scars had faded a little, but they always burned hot beneath her gaze as though Alastair was still with her and in reality he was. She carried him around in her head. Every time she caught a glimpse of the damage he'd caused to her body, she could feel that blade cutting into her like she was butter. She was reminded instantly of the way he smelled, of the hope she'd lost of making it through and then the silence as she lay in the water waiting to die. That night was ever present in her mind, and the fact that Dean didn't even consider that she'd been prepared to give up her life for his was another reason why she shouldn't have wanted to be with him. But her father once told her that the heart wants what it wants, and her heart wanted Dean.

She'd barely managed to put on her underwear and her shirt when she heard whispers coming from the bedroom. With a frown, she headed to the bedroom and her breath caught in her throat when she saw the demon looming over her son's stroller. Without fear of her own safety, Christina ran to rescue DJ.

"You get away from him you-" She started to threaten, but the demon was much more powerful than she was.

He turned his attention to her as she flew at him and flicked his wrist, sending her flying into the wall on the opposite side of the room. Luckily for her, she took the brunt of the force on her right side and not her spine, which was weakened by the injuries she'd sustained back in May. Nevertheless, she still landed with a thump and it instantly rendered her immobile.

"DJ, protect yourself." She screamed out to her son.

= X =

As he approached the room, Sam heard the panic in Christina's voice as she shouted out instructions to DJ. Without another thought, he broke down the door in time to see a figure looming over his nephew. Like a reflex, he extended his hand out toward the intruder and pulled the black smoke from his body, effortlessly. The host dropped to the floor onto a circle of what resembled burning ash, with a thud.

Christina's jaw hit the floor from her position as she witnessed Sam exorcising with his mind. It was nothing like she'd ever seen before and it just enforced how much of his life she'd missed in the two and a half months that he'd been AWOL.

He crossed the room toward her, barely registering the nosebleed that had started during his exorcism. "Are you OK?" He asked immediately helping her up to her feet.

She nodded, still stunned from what she'd witnessed. "Sam, you're bleeding." She responded, drawing attention to his nose.

He wiped at it with the back of his hand as though it was nothing, "Did he hurt you?"

But she disregarded his question, "Where did you learn to do that?"

He looked down at her face, knowing it was impossible to insist she'd been seeing things, and sighed. "Ruby." He said barely above a whisper.

"So that's what Ruby's got you into."

"She's just teaching me how to use what I've got." He gulped as he sat on the end of the double bed in the centre of the main wall.

"Maybe that's why DJ was the way he was with you." She suggested. "He could sense…" She stopped mid-sentence. "Are you sure you're not…"

"Turning dark side?" He finished her question. "I thought you of all people would understand CJ."

"Oh no, this stuff is much more advanced than what I had. I just, I hope you know what you're doing and she hasn't got you sacrificing baby lambs or something."

Her suggestion made him smile, "I'm not sacrificing baby lambs."

She frowned, "Children?"

"CJ, no."

"I take it Dean doesn't know."

Sam's eyes shot up to hers, of course that was going to be her next question. "No, and he can't know, not yet."

She started to shake her head, "Oh no Sam, I can't lie to him."

"And I'm not asking you to, just, don't mention it. I have to be the one to tell him."

She considered his request for a minute and then nodded, "OK, I won't tell him, but you know he's not going to be happy about it don't you?"

"Understatement."

"As long as he finds out from you Sam and not some other way."

"I've just got to figure out what to say and how to say it."

She moved to pat him on the shoulder, "Yeah, good luck with that." She said, her voice bouncing with playfulness as she headed back toward the bathroom. She cleared her throat, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get the rest of my clothes on."

Inadvertently, she drew attention to her bare legs and Sam instantly noticed the scars. But he was calm despite his concern. "Where did you get those?" He asked compassionately.

She glanced down at the scars, knowing exactly where they were placed. "They're souvenirs from the demon who tried to end me the night Dean died."

"I'm sorry CJ, I had no idea."

She sighed, "I'm not going to pretend it's OK, but they're a reminder of what I went through for him – more fool me."

"You know Dean, he's stubborn. But he knows you're good for him. He's just been hunting so long that he doesn't know how to do anything else."

"And that's precisely the reason why I'm done living on the expectation he'll choose me, because I'm scared of the lengths I'll go to for him."

"So, that's it between you?"

"Yeah, I'm done with him Sam. And I'm not going to act as if he'll be easy to get over but I won't survive if I live on hope."

"Wow. Dean really screwed things up this time, huh?"

"No, I just realised that I'll never be enough for him."

Sam looked into her eyes and could see coldness reflected in her eyes, something he'd never seen before especially when it came to his brother. He feared that Dean had finally pushed her too far and she'd given up on him. He knew sometimes that women said one thing and meant another, but this time he could sense that wasn't the case. Christina had finally had enough of being unappreciated and woken up to reality that Dean would never settle down. He felt sorry for her. To live without hope was like living without having a dream and eventually it would make her bitter and twisted.

It disappointed him that his brother had upset her, but there wasn't anything he could say or do to make it better. He just had to be her friend.

"Go, get dressed. I'll load up the car." He said with a smile, sensing the conversation had come to an end.

= X =

Bobby frowned over at Dean as they made their way back to South Dakota. "An angel?" He questioned.

"That's what he said." He replied with a shrug. "But I'm not buying it."

"I guess it's feasible. There are demons, so by definition there are angels to balance it out."

"Why? No hunter has ever seen one so why do we have to believe this Castiel?"

"I can't see why he'd be lying."

"Are you kidding? Manipulation is a demons number one agenda."

"You think he's spinning us a yarn?"

"I don't know, but I'm not taking it on his word that he's telling the truth."

Bobby sighed, "Then we better hit the books."

= X =

Christina looked out of the window as Sam drove them back home and sighed. Going back to her life now Dean was alive was going to be hard. She knew it wasn't going to be anywhere close to how it had been before he'd gone to hell. He wasn't likely to be dropping in at any opportunity to spend time with her and DJ because he wanted to keep his distance from her, which would mean that she'd have to be understanding when he wanted visitation. She had to maintain her detachment for her own sanity. Although, a clean break certainly seemed appealing.

"Remember when I got out of hospital and I asked you to keep driving until we hit the beach?" She asked the driver.

He laughed, "I remember."

"I don't suppose you'd be willing to take me up on the offer."

"I wish I could, but if I don't take you home we'll be the ones that are hunted."

"Yeah, I doubt my Dad would let us go peacefully."

Sam threw a look across at her, the sudden realisation of how disconnected she was being thrust into the forefront of his mind. Dean wasn't even a consideration for her anymore; she'd completely shut him out. It worried him. It seemed that she pinned all her future hopes and dreams on his brother and now he'd broken her heart, she'd detached from living for anything but their son.

"And, I'm pretty sure Dean'd come after his car."

She scoffed, "Course he would, it's the only thing he cares about."

"I didn't mean…"

"No, you're right Sam; we've got to go home." She sighed, "I just wish I could disappear for a while."

Sympathetically, he reached out to rest his hand on her knee, "It'll get better."

Her eyes travelled across the distance to his and she sighed, "I hope so." She said before involuntary tears started to leak from her eyes, "Because I'm not sure how much more of this I can take."

He slowed to a stop off road and turned off the engine before scooting closer to her and wrapping his arms around her. "Hey, come on. You're stronger than this CJ."

"I don't think so Sam." She sobbed. "I'm afraid I'm never going to be the same again."

= X =

Dean paced by Bobby's car outside his home. They'd been back a few hours and there was still no sign of Sam and Christina. He was worried. But then he heard the roar of the Impala as it drove up the drive toward him. He rushed over as they climbed out of the vehicle.

"Finally! What the hell took you so long?" He asked as Christina reached in the backseat for her son.

"They came for DJ." She informed him, emerging with the five month old in her arms.

"What? Who?"

"Demons."

"Why?"

"I didn't exactly hesitate to ask him questions Dean, our son was in danger. I just wanted him dead."

"You killed him?"

She half nodded, "Luckily Sam showed up to help."

His eyes moved to his brother, "You exorcised it?"

Sam gulped, "Yeah, of course."

"Alright then. Come inside, you won't believe what we've found out."

= _A While Later_ =

Christina yawned as she listened to Dean's overdramatic story about summoning Castiel. She had little time for his inner drama queen but had been forced to stay. Her father had insisted that it was important. But she failed to see what angels had to do with her. She wasn't even a hunter anymore; all she was now was a mother.

Dean caught sight of her visual display of fatigue from where he stood in the kitchen, "I'm sorry, am I boring you?"

"Beyond belief." She said getting up off the couch in the living room. "I fail to see what this has got to do with me, so I'm going home to put DJ to bed."

Bobby looked up from the book he was reading at his desk in the same room, "There's a bed upstairs for him CJ, you need to know this stuff."

"Why? The angels didn't pull me out of Hell. I doubt I'm even on their radar."

Dean scoffed, "It wasn't angels."

Sam sighed. He was tired of his brother's flat out refusal to believe. "Well, then tell me what else it could have been."

"Look, all I know is that I was not groped by an angel."

Bobby flipped the page of the book he was still reading, while he listened to the boy's back and forth.

"OK, look Dean. Why do you think this Castiel would lie to you about it?"

"Maybe he's some kind of demon."

Christina rolled her eyes at her father, "I'm going home." She said, so he was the only one that heard her.

He was about to stop her but the brothers caught his attention again, meaning she was able to slip out without argument.

"Demon's lie." Dean insisted.

Sam threw his head back in annoyance. "A demon who's immune to salt rounds? And devil's traps? And Ruby's knife?" He said as his brother picked up a piece of pizza from the box on the kitchen counter, smelt it and then threw it back. "Dean, Lilith is scared of that thing."

"Don't you think that if angels were real that some hunter, somewhere, would have seen one at some point, ever!"

"Yeah. You just did, Dean."

"I'm trying to come up with a theory here, OK, work with me."

"Dean, we have a theory."

"Yeah, one with a little less fairy dust on it, please."

"OK, look. I'm not saying we know for sure I'm just saying that I think we-"

"OK, OK, that's the point. We don't know for sure so I'm not gonna believe this thing is a freaking _angel of the Lord_ because it said so."

Bobby was getting sick of the arguing between the brothers and aimed to put a stop to it. "You two chuckleheads wanna keep arguing religion, or you wanna come look at this?"

Both brothers ended their debate instantly, much to Sam's annoyance, and they walked over to Bobby in the living room. As they approached his desk, he spun the book he'd been reading from around so it was the right way up for them.

"I got stacks of lore. Biblical, pre-Biblical, some of it's in damn cuneiform." Bobby said as Dean covered the handprint beneath his shirt with his hand. The picture they were looking at showed an angel pulling a human out of hell by the upper arm, exactly like Dean. "It all says an angel can snatch a soul from the pit." He continued.

"What else?"

"What else, what?"

"What else could do it?"

"Airlift your ass out of the hot box? As far as I can tell, nothing." He said sitting back in his chair, keeping his eyes on the young men stood the other side of his desk.

Sam turned to Dean with a small smile playing on his lips. "Dean, this is good news."

He looked back sceptically. "How?"

"Because for once this isn't another round of demon crap. I mean, maybe you were saved by one of the good guys, you know?"

Dean still didn't look convinced, "OK, say it's true. Say, there are angels. Then what? There's a God?"

"This point, Vegas money's on yeah." Bobby answered.

He smiled and turned away from them, "I don't know guys."

"OK, look. I- I know you're not all choirboy about this stuff but this is becoming less and less about faith, and more and more about proof." Sam insisted.

His brother turned to him, "Proof?"

"Yes."

"Proof that there's a God out there that actually gives a crap about me, personally?" He said, still disbelieving. "I'm sorry, but I'm not buying it."

"Why not?"

"Because, why me? If there's a God out there, why would he give a crap about me?"

Sam knew that his self worth was impairing his inability to believe. "Dean."

"I mean, I've saved some people, OK. I figure I've made up for the, for the stealing and the, and the ditching chicks. But why do I deserve to get saved? I'm just a regular guy."

"Well, apparently you're a regular guy that's important to the man upstairs." His brother pointed out.

"Well, that creeps me out. I mean, I don't like being singled out at birthday parties, much less by… God."

"OK, well too bad, Dean. Because I think he wants you to strap on your party hat."

Dean cleared his throat, knowing that was the only explanation because they'd explored all avenues. "Fine." He finally caved. "What do we know about angels?"

Sam looked at Bobby, who'd been silently witnessing the exchange between the Winchesters. He sat up in his chair and answered Dean's question by grabbing the pile of books from a small table beside him and putting them down with a thud on the desk in front of him.

"Start reading." He told them.

Sam frowned as Dean pointed at him. "You're gonna get me some pie." He said grabbing the book at the top of the pile and walking off into the kitchen with it.

= X =

Reaching her apartment building, Christina sighed. It had been a long 24 hours and she couldn't wait to relax in her own environment. She turned to bump her son's stroller up the set of steps leading up to the community door and when she was halfway up, she heard it open.

"Could you hold that for me please?" She asked the tenant, without seeing who it was.

"Hey Christina." The 34-year-old man smiled upon her reaching the top.

She turned to look at him and smiled, "Oh hey Danny."

Daniel Anderson had moved into the building about two months ago and he always had a smile for her whenever they saw each other. But in fairness, she'd never really paid him any mind. She'd been too occupied with her grief to really notice but now she was seeing him through clear eyes, she could see how handsome he was.

He was easily 6' 2", shorter than Sam but taller than Dean. He had dark hair, gorgeous brown eyes with flecks of orange running through them and even through his wardrobe she could tell he looked after his body.

"You want a hand getting upstairs?" He asked continuing to hold the door open as she pushed the stroller inside.

She hesitated, about to insist she could do it herself, but something told her to be open to anything that could develop now that Dean had made his feelings clear. "Would you mind?"

"Of course not." He said smiling down at her son. "Hey little guy."

His knowledge of her son didn't go unnoticed; it brought a smile to her face. She knew it was probably a conscious effort on his part to become more appealing, but his attempt was duly noted and welcomed. "OK, I'll grab him. Would you get the stroller?"

Reaching her floor, Christina walked across to her apartment door with her son on her hip and Danny in tow.

"Thanks so much for this. I've tried telling the landlord to install an elevator but he thinks it'll be a waste of money because I'm the only mom in the building." She said as she walked.

"Well anytime you need help, just give me a call." He offered.

"Thanks, but that's not necessary. I've been doing this for five months on my own, only another seven and he should be walking." She said stopping at her door and reaching into her pocket for her key.

"He's got so big since I moved in." He said smiling down at the child as his mother fumbled with her key in the lock.

"Yeah. He's growing so fast that I need a mortgage every month just to keep buying him new clothes." She said opening her door and silently inviting him inside, "You can just put that anywhere."

He stepped over the threshold and propped the stroller against the wall closest to him. Turning back to her, he stuffed his hands into his pockets, searching for a way to ask her out. He'd immediately taken a liking to her, and as far as he could tell, she was single so he'd been waiting to make his move; only she'd always looked so sad before. Not wanting to pry, he'd just left their conversations at hello and goodbye, but now she almost looked ready.

"Right, I guess I should…" He trailed off motioning to the door.

She smiled politely, "Thanks again for the help. You'd be amazed at how many people would watch me struggle without offering."

"Ah, it was nothing." He shrugged it off. "But if you wanted to return the favour, maybe we could grab a coffee together sometime."

Usually this was the point that Christina blew off any interest in her, but she reminded herself that she couldn't wait around for Dean anymore. She had to try and move on. She smiled, "Sure, I could drink some coffee."

Satisfied with his mornings work, he smiled back, "Great, well, you know where I live."

She nodded, "I do. But why don't I give you my number and that way you can call when you've got some free time?"

"Yeah, great, that'd be great."

She smiled as she walked into the kitchen to write down her number. His overuse of the word great only resulted in leading her to realise how proud he was of himself for plucking up the courage to ask her out. It instilled a confidence in her that had been quashed by Dean and she felt wanted again, for the first time in a long while. She returned to the doorway with her son still on her hip and passed him the piece of paper.

"Right, well, I will give you a call." He said holding the number up before stuffing it into his pocket and stepping out into the hall.

She let a small laugh escape her lips, "Bye Danny." She said giving him the window to leave.

"See ya Christina." He said, saluting and walking away from her.

"And it's CJ." She called leaning out of her front door as he disappeared down the corridor.

It was then that she saw Sam, who gave him a baffled sideways glance as they passed each other. Christina rocked back on her heels in her doorway and closed her eyes. Now she was going to have to explain who he was, when in truth, she owed no one an explanation.

"Who was that?" Sam asked thumbing back the way he'd come, when he reached her.

She spun on her heel to walk inside her home. "He helped me upstairs." She said with a sigh.

He allowed a short laugh out of his mouth as he followed her into the lounge, closing the front door behind him, "But who is he?"

She put DJ down in the middle of the floor and rubbed her brow as she turned back to him, "He's just a neighbour." She sighed. "What are you doing here Sam?"

"You left pretty quick earlier, I just wanted to come by and check you're OK."

"I'm OK." She countered without hesitation.

"You sure?"

She seemed to lose her temper before his eyes, like a flick had been switched, "Yes Sam, I'm sure."

His brow furrowed, "What's wrong?"

"Why does there have to be something wrong?"

"Why are you getting all defensive? Is it about that guy?"

"No, I don't even know him. I'm just a little pissed off that I've been gone ten minutes and you're already here checking up on me." She snapped. "You know I coped fine without any of you for the best part of three months, so it's too late to be concerned OK."

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to make sure you were alright, that's all."

His sentence made her feel instantly guilty and her mood simmered within an instant. "I'm sorry Sam. It's just what with the visions, the attack on DJ and the angels…" She sighed. "It's a lot to take in."

He stood in front of her, his hands stuffed in his jean pockets and smiled. "Yeah." He said compassionately. "Look, I've got an errand to run for Dean, but once I'm done what do you say I swing by and we do some catching up?"

She looked at him through kind eyes and nodded, "I'd like that."

"Alright." He said gaining on her. He kissed her on the cheek and turned to leave. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

She watched him leave and took a long deep breath before dropping to the couch. She felt guilty about having someone interested in her, and she knew that was ridiculous, but somehow she felt like she was cheating on Dean. She knew that was ludicrous, that her relationship with him was nothing more than sharing parental responsibilities, but she couldn't help her feelings, as much as she wished them away.

= X =

Sam parked the Impala in a vacant spot outside the take out place and had barely managed to shut off the engine before his phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and sighed in annoyance when he saw the identity of the caller.

"Yes, Dean, I'll get the chips." He said getting out of the car. "Dude, when have I ever forgotten the pie?" He waited for his brother to respond. "Exactly." He said closing the drivers' door. Turning toward the building, he saw Ruby hiding behind the wall looking back at him. Their eye contact held as Sam finished his call. "I gotta go." He allowed Dean to speak. "Yeah, alright. Bye."

Hanging up, his eyes remained connected to Ruby's. He quickly threw a side-glance across the parking lot to make sure he was safe to cross before making his way over to her. "Ruby."

"So, is it true?" She asked, not beating around the bush.

"Is what true?"

"Did an angel rescue Dean?" She asked somewhat annoyed.

"You heard?" He asked as a customer exited the store and walked passed them.

Once he'd gone she continued. "Who hasn't?"

"We're not a 100% sure but I think so."

Ruby looked scared, "OK. Bye Sam." She said starting to walk away from him.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's go- Wait!" He grabbed her arm causing her to spin around to look at him. "What's going on?"

"Sam, they're angels, I'm a demon. They're not gonna care if I'm being helpful. They smite first and then they ask questions later."

He took the information in, "What do you know about them?"

"Not much. I've never met one, and I don't really wanna. But all I know is that they scare the holy hell out of me. Watch yourself, Sam."

He scoffed, "I'm not scared of angels."

She looked at him for a moment and then turned on her heel to walk away, leaving Sam confused.

= X =

Christina walked back into the lounge after putting DJ down for the night to find a dark-haired man in a pale trench coat standing at her window staring out as though something had captured his attention and fear struck her heart. If this was another attack on her son then there was nothing to stop it – she couldn't always rely on Sam to show up at exactly the right moment.

"Your faith in my father is strong, even with everything you've been through." He said never shifting his gaze from the street, as though sensing her presence.

"How did you…" She started.

"I heard your prayers Christina."

"What?" She frowned.

"The one's you said for Dean when he was taken."

A light immediately switched on for her. "You're Castiel."

He turned to finally face her and her eyes met with the gaze of the most perfect being she'd ever been in the presence of. "Yes."

She forced her eyes away from his, "Well, if you brought Dean back for me, you made a huge mistake."

"We didn't. He has a job to do for us, and so do you."

"What could you possibly need my help with?"

"Dean's not what one would call a devout man, you have to help him believe."

She sighed, "If you're laying all your eggs in my basket you've got to know that no one can make Dean believe in anything he doesn't already believe in."

"You under-estimate how much your opinion matters to him."

"And you under-estimate how little I give a shit."


	8. Chapter 8

**SEVEN**

Christina could feel her eyes getting heavier as she lay on the couch in front of the TV. She'd been waiting for Sam since she'd put DJ to bed, and Castiel had left. In all honesty, she was surprised to get a visit from the angel, and she did believe he was an angel, because she believed in God. It made sense that there was a counter balance to all the evil in the world, and she assumed that there was a serious reason the angels were now walking the earth.

Castiel's request had left her puzzled. She wasn't sure what she could do to help convince Dean that God and angels existed. But he'd insisted upon it. He seemed to know all about her, from losing her parents at a young age to almost dying four months ago, which was only natural if she thought about it, but why he'd made it his business to know was beyond her.

She noticed throughout his time there that he appeared very cold, almost devoid from emotions, like he didn't know how to feel anything. She knew angels weren't human, that they were superior beings but she found it very strange. Still, to be in the presence of an angel was more of an honour for her than she'd let on. It was proof that her prayers were being heard and not just floating somewhere waiting for someone to pick them up. She absolutely believed, but she wasn't sure how she could convince Dean of it.

She'd settled on the couch once Castiel had disappeared, because he didn't just leave, he vanished and she suspected that was just the way angels did it. But the last 36 hours were catching up on her and she was scared that she wouldn't be awake much longer to see Sam. And she wasn't.

Half an hour later Sam used his key to enter Christina's apartment and closed the door quietly behind him. He immediately made his way to the lounge and smiled when he saw her flaked out on the couch. He slowly lowered to the carpet in front of her and brushed her fringe away from her face, she looked so angelic when she slept.

She stirred with a smile cast on her face, "Sam."

"I'm sorry I'm late." He apologised in a whisper in case she was still asleep.

"It's OK. You're here now." She said blindly reaching out to find him. She ran her hand up his torso to his shoulder and then up to his ear before she effortlessly lifted her upper body to meet his lips with hers.

Before Sam knew it, he was kissing her back. He reached out to slide her off the couch, into his lap on the floor and – as she wrapped her legs around his waist – he lifted her top over her head. He stopped kissing her and ran his hands up her back to rest on her shoulders. Holding her in front of him, he gently touched his lips to the scars on her chest and she arched her back as the ecstasy began to take control of her body. This wasn't like before. This time she wanted him, as much as he wanted her.

She took a hold of the bottom of his shirt and raised it over his head before tossing it across the room. Their lips met again, their tongues dancing as she forced him backward. She reached down to unbutton his pants and he hers. They shed each other of the remaining material they wore so fast it was barely real to her, but then he was inside her. He felt so strong, even this part of him, as she rocked back and forth lowering every once in a while to kiss him. She could feel her body responding to their lovemaking, the tingle it created in the pit of her stomach and that's when her eyes flashed black.

She forced her eyes open and shot upright as she raked a hand through her hair trying to make sense of her disturbing dream, and it had been a dream not a vision.

"Hey, you OK?" His voice reached out to her in the darkness.

She looked in his direction, the TV casting enough light in the room to see his face, "Sam, what are you doing here?" She asked embarrassed.

But he smiled, "We were catching up but it all got too much for you and you fell asleep." He replied. "Good dream?"

"What?"

"You sounded like you were enjoying yourself."

She looked down at the floor, "I did?"

He frowned as she fought to regulate her breathing, "You OK?"

She cleared her throat, "Hey Sam, do you ever wonder what would've happened if I hadn't stopped that kiss?"

Shocked by her question, he took a minute to decide whether to tell her the truth or lie. He went with the former. "I'd be lying if I said I hadn't."

"And?" She asked out of curiosity.

"Well, obviously it would've been good…" He tried to joke.

She smiled across at him and rolled her eyes, "Obviously."

"But it would've changed things between us and I like things the way they are."

"Really? Because I was thinking I'd made a huge mistake not letting it just happen."

"Well screw what I said, I was being polite." He said jovially. "You made a massive mistake."

She laughed, "Do you ever wonder where we'd be if it had happened?"

"We'd probably be together, raising DJ and planning our own family, at least I'd like to think so."

"Boy did I pick the wrong brother."

He sighed, it was nice to fantasise about a future with her but in reality he knew they'd never be together. Too much had happened and her heart would always rest with Dean. "There's a reason why you chose Dean, CJ. You love him and I know you're mad at him right now, but that's not going to change."

Suddenly the light-hearted banter had disappeared, she felt vulnerable and she allowed him to witness it instead of pushing it away. "I'm so lonely Sam. It's been so long since someone loved me."

"He loves you; he's just not very good at showing it."

Silence settled between them as the TV played in the background. They hadn't spoken about the incident since it had happened, but they'd needed to clear the air. Now it had been said, they both felt better, it was like a cloud had been lifted.

"So what was your dream about?" He asked.

She sighed, if they were being honest, she was going to be honest. "You."

"Me?"

She dared to meet his gaze. "We were having sex."

"Wow." He said finally understanding her need to talk about that night.

She nodded, "It was pretty wow."

"I wouldn't read too much into it. I'm not that good." He said, again trying to make a joke.

But she wasn't laughing, "I don't get it, why am I dreaming about you?"

"Maybe because you're mad at Dean." He suggested.

"Then why aren't I dreaming about ripping his head off or sticking his balls in a blender?"

He fought back the laugh boiling in his throat, "You might be mad as hell right now CJ, but you still love him."

= X =

Dean paced outside Bobby's back door. He'd woken in the middle of the night to find his brother gone, though thankfully this time he hadn't taken his car. There was only one place he knew Sam would've gone on foot, even if he didn't want to admit it and now he was waiting to confront him.

"Dean." Sam said approaching him, the shock of seeing him up evident in his voice.

"Where the hell have you been?" He countered like a strict father.

"I was with CJ."

He rolled his eyes. That had been his guess. "Alright, what the hell is the deal with you two? You're touchy-feely, you're having conversations in secret and now you're sneaking off in the middle of the night to see her."

"I didn't sneak." He insisted.

"Sam."

He sighed, "We're just…"

"If your next word is friends, so help me I will rip out your tongue."

He smiled, "It's true."

Dean stared at him. A thought formed in his mind and he considered for a minute that he didn't want the answer to the question he was about to ask. He kept his voice low, "Are you sleeping with her?"

Sam screwed up his face as though the suggestion was preposterous. "No, I'm not sleeping with her."

He raised his eyebrows, "Would you tell me if you were?"

"Of course."

"Well, something is going on between you two."

"I went over to check on her. She hasn't been right since you two had that fight and with her visions, then the attack at the hotel I wanted to make sure she was OK."

"And is she?"

He shook his head, "It's worse than I thought."

"What do you mean?"

"She's completely given up on you, and to top it, I saw some guy coming out of her apartment earlier."

His brother was immediately distracted, "There was a guy?"

"You're OK with that aren't you Dean? Because you don't want her."

He didn't hear the sarcasm in his question or comment, he was too busy taking in the information, "Yeah" He responded mindlessly.

He watched his brother as he took on board what another guy in Christina's life would mean and he was surprised to find it got a reaction. Usually Dean protected his feelings, pushing them to the very back of his mind so no one could pick up on them. But since he'd got back from hell, he seemed to lack the ability.

"Dean."

He cleared his throat to try and regain focus, "Yeah?"

"You OK?"

"Yeah, I'm good."

"It doesn't look like it."

"I'm OK." He insisted emphatically.

"You know you have no right to be jealous. You let her go. You wanted her to move on, right?"

His response was thoughtless and automatic, "Right."

He knew Sam was right, he had no right to be jealous, he had to let her go. But that didn't stop the sickness he felt in his gut or his desire to march over there and rip the guy's head off. He was jealous, he knew that – but he was damned if he was about to admit it.

"You're jealous." His brother accused.

"I'm not. I don't even know what jealousy is." He insisted.

"It's that gut instinct telling you to go over there and compete for her affections." Sam clarified.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Sam patted him on the shoulder as he made a move to go inside, "Sure you don't."

But Dean stopped him, "Uh, Bobby wants us to go over to Jed's, he's not answering his phone."

"Like Olivia."

"Yeah."

"Where's Bobby?"

"Checking on some other hunters."

Sam nodded as he headed to the car. "We should warn CJ."

"We don't know what we're dealing with yet. Do you want to freak her out?"

"Shouldn't she be prepared?"

Dean sighed; his sudden concern for Christina was getting tiresome. "Get in the car Sam."

= X =

Christina stared out the small kitchen window as she waited for the kettle to boil. Her Sam dream was playing on her mind; she'd never had one of those before. She wondered if it really was just a reaction to how she felt about Dean, but still, it wasn't normal. She'd never thought about Sam as anything more than family, except for that one time – and she wasn't thinking straight then. And what was with her eyes turning black? Was her dream trying to tell her that she was a demon? Or had her unconscious mind forced it from her anxiety that her visions were back? She was going crazy trying to work out what it all meant, but she wasn't about to ask anyone else for help. She had to keep those details to herself until she could figure them out.

= X =

The Impala was parked outside the house where Bobby had sent Dean and Sam. They'd been inside and were now on their way back out. As they walked down the steps from the porch Dean called Bobby to tell him what they'd found.

"Yeah, we're at Jed's." He told the older man. "It's not pretty. He looks even worse than Olivia. What about you?"

"I checked on Carl Bates and R.C Adams- they've re-decorated, in red." Bobby replied.

Dean used a fluid hand motion in front of his neck to indicate to Sam that Bobby had found the same kind of scene as they had, "What the hell's going on here Bobby? Why do a bunch of ghosts suddenly want to gank off duty hunters?"

"I don't know. But until we find out, you guys better get your asses to my place and pick up CJ and the kid on your way."

"We're on our way." He said getting into the car and hanging up.

= X =

Sam pulled off the road at a gas station, he and Dean had shared the drive back and now he was asleep in the passengers' side of the Impala. He stopped next to one of the pumps and got out; the car needed fuel because Dean never let the needle drop below a certain point. He took the handle and made his way to the back of the car, where the fuel tank was, and started to fill up unaware he was being watched. As he waited, Sam saw the sign for the restroom, and he left the car – and his brother – to relieve himself.

He was washing his hands before he knew something was wrong. But when he saw his breath hit the air, which had suddenly become cold, he slowly turned off the water. That's when the mirror above the sink started to freeze over. Sam looked at it as the ice continued to cover the whole surface and he wiped his hand over it clearing enough that he could see his reflection, but that wasn't all he saw. Behind him stood Victor Henriksen, the agent responsible for capturing them in Monument, Colorado months before Dean died. The shock of his sudden appearance startled Sam, but he turned to look at him.

"Hi ya Sam. It's been a while." He said, standing in front of him.

He stared back, "Henriksen. Are you- Did you-"

The image of him flickered; giving Sam the answers he hadn't been able to ask the questions for.

"I didn't survive if that's what you're asking." He clarified.

The young hunter felt instantly guilty, remembering that Lilith had killed him and others when she'd gone looking for him and his brother. "I'm sorry."

"I know you are." He replied, not doubting Sam's sincerity.

"Look, if we'd known Lilith was coming, we-"

"You wouldn't have left half a dozen innocent people in that police station to die in your place?" He asked rhetorically. But then he was angry. "You did this to me." He played on his guilt. "It was your fault. She was after you and I paid the price."

"I-"

"You left us there to die!"

Victor grabbed Sam and threw him into the lockers. He moved after him, grabbing the lapel of his shirt and pinning him against them. Sam barely struggled as he held him, but he noticed a burn mark below his thumb on his hand that he was sure the agent didn't have previous to his death. Victor slammed him into the wall next to the lockers before throwing him into the mirror, causing it to shatter, and he fell to the floor. The ghost grabbed him from behind and slammed his face down on the sink twice before throwing him to the floor. Instinctively Sam held up his hands in front of his face as Victor stood over him, daring only to steal a glimpse while he waited for the next attack. That's when he heard the shot and saw Henriksen disappear. A second later Dean was in the room, he moved to where the ghost had been standing and looked around for any signs of him, but there wasn't any. Dean relaxed a little and looked down at his brother.

= X =

All the lights around Bobby started flickering as he stood in his living room and his breath blew out of his mouth in a wisp of smoke. The air was cold and he knew that could only mean one thing, ghosts. He could hear children's laughter echoing around the inside of his home and he moved toward the fireplace to grab the wrought iron fire poker. The laughter rang out again and he walked toward the kitchen, following the sound, with his eyes constantly on the move for any signs of them.

Suddenly the radio turned on, playing static into the air and Bobby's line of vision shot to it as he continued to make his way to the kitchen, holding his weapon ready to strike anything that dared to show itself. The laughter was suddenly behind him causing him to look back and then walk toward the door. Then it came from above him, in the direction of the stairs. He made his way to the foot of them cautiously and then a thump came from the floor above. He looked up the flight and caught sight of a ball bouncing down to him. With wide eyes he watched it descend until it finally landed and stopped at his feet. He couldn't bring himself to move, he stared at it, but then he had that feeling of being watched. He spun on the spot to face the opposite direction and there stood the 10-year-old twin girls. They were dirty, and so were their clothes, and they looked at him with hard disapproving eyes.

= X =

The Impala sped down the road as Dean drove with haste to their destination with his phone pinned to his ear. "Damn it Bobby, pick up." He said removing the phone and hitting redial. As the phone started to ring, he threw a glance at his brother. "How you feeling, huh? How many fingers am I holding up?"

"None. I'll be fine, Dean." He said with a weary sigh.

"Henriksen?"

"Yup."

"Why? What did he want?" He continued to question as the phone next to his ear continued to ring.

"Revenge 'cause we got him killed."

"Sam."

"Well, we did Dean."

Dean looked over at him and hung up the phone so he could focus on his brother while he drove. "All right. Stop right there. Whatever the hell is going on, it's happening to us now, OK? I can't get a hold of Bobby, so if you're not thinking answers, don't think at all."

= X =

Christina heard Dean before she saw him as he walked into her bedroom and flicked on the light.

"Get up CJ." He ordered from her doorway.

She lifted her head off the pillow but used her hand to shield her eyes from the penetrating brightness. "Dean, what are you doing here?"

"Get dressed, I'll explain in the car."

She tried to force her eyes to open, but they were welded shut. "What the hell for?"

"I don't have time to explain, now get dressed."

"Oh for Christ sake Dean, go away." She sighed, dropping back down to her mattress.

He huffed, watching her get comfortable again and walked over. Throwing the covers off her, he reached down and scooped her up in his arms in her summer pyjama set, despite it being September. She was about to protest, but the smell of him threw her into a tailspin of emotions and she instantly felt protected.

_Christina's Apartment, South Dakota – February 27, 2008_

_Christina lay in Dean's arms in the wake of their love making reliving the moment he'd told her the extent of how he felt about her just hours ago. It was everything she expected it would be; from how he said it to the way it made her feel. She was completely contented and she wanted to live this moment on repeat because she knew she'd never get another like it. Although she couldn't imagine ever getting tired of hearing him say he loved her._

_She could feel his fingers dancing on the skin at the base of her spine and a satisfied sigh escaped her lips. This was it; this was what she wanted everyday for the rest of her life. This was how she wanted to fall asleep every night and wake up every morning; with his body pressed against hers silently telling her he was hers forever._

"_You OK?" He asked, his deep voice breaking the silence of the room._

_She craned her neck from his bare chest to gaze on his face, "I'm more than OK."_

_He smiled, lifting his head from the pillow to apply a kiss to her forehead. "Good."_

_She shifted her head back into position as her hand came up to rest alongside it on his masculine torso. She always felt safe with him and that wouldn't ever change._

_Christina's Apartment, South Dakota – Present Day_

Christina rested her head on Dean's shoulder; her eyes still firmly closed and threatened to drift back off to sleep.

"Did you get DJ?" He asked whoever was with him.

"Yeah, and I got a bag of his stuff." She heard Sam whisper.

She allowed Dean to carry her to the car, soaking up his smell and masculinity until she heard the Impala door open and he bundled her inside. As the bare skin on the back of her legs touched the cold leather of the seat, she was stunned awake and in an instant bad mood.

"As gracious as ever Winchester!" She spat out.

"I tried to wake you." He said slamming the back door closed as Sam opened the opposite one to put DJ in his car seat.

"Is someone going to tell me what's going on?" She asked less harshly as she looked at him.

"Ghosts." He said trying to keep from waking the child as he buckled him in.

"Ghosts?" She repeated as Dean climbed in behind the wheel.

"Yes, ghosts. They're hunting hunters." He snapped at her.

She frowned, "Why?"

"If we knew that we wouldn't have needed to pick you up."

"Oh, tell me you didn't wake me this early in a morning to do research?" She asked outraged.

He sighed as Sam climbed in the passenger's side, "We didn't. We need to stick together in case they come after you."

"And where's my Dad?"

That was the question he was dreading her asking, "I can't get a hold of him."

"So one of these ghosts could've got to him?"

"It's possible." Sam answered throwing a look of unease at his brother.

"And where exactly were you two while he was alone?"

"We were checking on Jed like your Dad asked us to." Dean almost shouted, not appreciating the implication that he was at fault in anyway.

"Jed? Is he…"

"He's dead." He answered the question she couldn't bring herself to ask.

She gulped. She'd known Jed since her age had reached double digits and, although she hadn't seen him for the best part of ten years, she knew he was a good hunter, "Well, what the hell are you waiting for? Step on the gas Winchester." She ordered.

Dean threw his brother an impatient look as he started the engine, letting him know that he was close to causing the mother of his child an injury and Sam smiled back, somewhat amused that they'd reverted back to the way they'd been a year ago.

They travelled the short distance to Bobby's Salvage Yard in silence, each with their own thoughts about what they'd find but Dean and Sam had seen Olivia and Jed, and the image of what they might find was sickening. As he pulled up to a stop at the top of the drive, behind his house, Dean turned off the engine.

"Wait in the car." He ordered Christina over his shoulder as he opened his door.

She would've liked to fight with him, but her sleeping son stopped her tearing into him, because someone needed to child mind and she knew she was badly out of practise when it came to hunting.

Before he climbed out of the car, Dean threw a look back at her, "What, you're not going to fight me on that?" He asked surprised.

"Make the most of it while it lasts." She responded.

Dean entered Bobby's, his shotgun ready, with Sam closely behind him. "Bobby?" He called out in a muted shout.

Sam moved through the kitchen, with his brother behind him, and they checked the living room before they entered. As they reached the heart of the room, Dean noticed something out of the corner of his eye at the bottom of the flight of stairs and snapped his fingers to get his brothers attention, before pointing it out. They both moved toward the poker and Dean knelt to check it.

He pointed up the stairs. "I'll go. You check outside." He said slightly louder than a whisper.

= X =

Sam walked outside under the blazing sunshine and Christina immediately clocked him. But he looked back at her with a less than hopeful expression, and then made his way past the car calling out her Dad's name as he went, so she knew they hadn't found him. She swivelled as much as she could in her seat and watched him get further from her.

He walked through the junkyard, among the cars, looking for any sign of Bobby, but there was none. "Bobby? Bobby?"

Bobby lay on his back in the front seat of one of the cars piled on top of other wrecks, unable to move or call out to the voice trying to find him because the twins had covered his mouth and pinned him down. He was petrified. He knew it had been his fault they were dead, but he'd told himself in the wake of their passing that there was nothing he could've done, except now he was questioning that.

He'd always felt tremendous guilt for not saving them, and now that guilt had come back to bite him.

= X =

Dean rounded the corner at the top of the stairs with his weapon ready to shoot. "Bobby?" He called out.

Suddenly all the doors down the hallway in front of him slammed shut, except the one directly ahead, that creaked open slowly. He watched it expectantly, and steadily began to walk toward it.

"Come out, come out, whoever you are." He called out, and instantly noticed his breath turn cold, causing him to stop.

A form appeared behind him from nowhere, "Dean Winchester." She announced her presence encouraging him to gradually turn toward her voice. "Still so bossy." She looked at him with a smile as he completely faced her and raised his weapon. "You don't recognise me?" She allowed him a minute to jog his memory and when it seemed he was getting nowhere, she decided to give a helping hand. "This is what I looked like before that demon cut off my hair and dressed me like a slut."

"Meg?" The frown formed on his brow.

She looked at him momentarily before breaking into a smile, "Hi." She took a few steps toward him with her hands in the air to ward off any attack. "It's OK. I'm not a demon."

"You're the girl the demon possessed."

She lowered her hands, "Meg Masters. Nice to finally talk to you when I'm not… you know… choking on my own blood." She took another step toward him and Dean backed away, still pointing his gun at her. "It's OK. Seriously, I'm just a college girl. Sorry… was. I was walking home one night and got jumped by all this smoke. Next thing you know, I'm a prisoner…" She brought her left hand up to her temple. "…in here. Now, I was awake. I had to watch while she murdered people."

Dean looked guilty and regretful. "I'm sorry."

"Oh yeah? So sorry you had me thrown off a building?"

"Well, we thought-"

She instantly lost her temper, "No, you didn't think! I kept waiting, praying. I was trapped in there, screaming at you 'just help me, please!' You're supposed to help people, Dean. Why didn't you help me?"

"I- I'm sorry."

"Stop saying you're sorry!" She demanded hitting him hard, causing him to fall to the floor.

He rose onto his hands, "Meg. Meg…"

She kicked him in the face and he fell backward. She kicked away his gun and Dean rolled onto his side, grunting in pain. She stepped toward him and he held out one of his hands as he nursed his mid-drift with an arm.

"We didn't know!" He insisted propping himself up onto his side.

Meg bent down in front of him, "No. You just attacked. Did you ever think there was a girl in here? No. You just charged in, slashing and burning. You think you're some kind of hero?"

He gritted his teeth, "No, I don't."

She grabbed the lapel of his jacket and pulled him closer, "You're damn right."

Dean looked down at the hand that held him and noticed a raised symbol beneath her thumb. He made a mental note to mention it to Sam and Bobby, if they ever found him – and alive.

"Do you have any idea what it's like to be ridden for months by pure evil… while your family had no idea what happened to you?" She asked, and he did – he knew exactly what it was like.

"We did the best we could."

Angered by his response, Meg slammed him down on the floor; she got to her feet and kicked him hard.

= X =

The twins held Bobby pinned to the beat up leather of the car seat. Ordinarily they wouldn't be able to overpower him, but his guilt froze him to the spot. He knew it was his fault they were ghosts.

"Are you scared, Bobby?" One of the twins asked.

"We were scared, Bobby." Her sister said.

"When the monster came for us."

"And grabbed us tight."

"And we couldn't even scream." They took it in turn to tell him.

"You were right there, Bobby."

"You were in the house."

"You were so close."

Sam continued to walk around the salvage yard looking for the man he and his brother looked on as a father, and suddenly noticed his breathe turn into a whisp of smoke in the air. He turned on the spot a few times looking around for any clues to Bobby's whereabouts. His instinct took him to the truck of a nearby rusty vehicle and he leaned into it.

"Bobby?" He called out walking down the side of the heap of scrap and looking inside.

"You could have saved us, Bobby." The first twin said.

Sam grabbed an iron bar from the ground and walked back to the trunk, "I'm here, Bobby."

The twin continued, "You walked right past that door."

Sam slammed the iron rod into the bottom of the trunk to pry it open.

"The monster had us." Her sister said.

"And you didn't find us."

Finally getting it open, Sam checked inside to find it empty and he looked around for another clue.

"And now they won't find you." The second twin said moving her free hand and holding Bobby's nose so he couldn't breathe.

Sam forced another trunk open, but found it empty like the previous one.

= X =

Dean, lay on his stomach, rose up onto his elbows and shook his head to remove the effects of Meg's attack as she stood over him.

"It wasn't just me, Dean. I had a sister." She spat out as he collapsed to the floor again and rolled onto his side, clutching at his stomach. "A little sister. She worshipped me." He looked up at her as she continued to the point of her story. "You know how little siblings are, right? How they'll do anything for you. She was never the same after I disappeared. She just… she just got lost. And when my body was lying there in the morgue. Beat up. Broken."

Dean turned away from her on his elbows. "Meg."

"Do you know what that did to her? She killed herself." She kicked out at him again, causing him to fall back down onto his abdomen. "Because of you, Dean! Because all you were thinking about was your family, your revenge and your demons. Fifty words of Latin a little sooner and I'd still be alive. My baby sister would still be alive. That blood is on your hands, Dean!"

"You're right." He agreed with her. But it didn't stop her kicking him again.

= X =

Sam opened yet another trunk to find it empty, just like the others. He looked around frantically and noticed the wing mirror on a nearby tower of cars covered in ice.

"Bobby! Hold on, Bobby!" He ran around the pile of car carcasses and climbed up them, "I'm coming!" He shouted. Looking into the car, he found the man he'd been searching for. "Bobby!"

He slammed the iron rod he held between the door and it's frame and pried it open to reveal Bobby, with the twins sitting either side of him. They turned their attention to Sam and threw him back. He landed on a car windshield, smashing the glass. Before he had a chance to move, one of the twins was sat over him, she tried to grab him but he rammed her with his iron bar and she disappeared. He looked up to see the other twin sat in the open car doorway looking back, yet before she pounced Bobby moved his iron poker through her and she disappeared too.

= X =

Dean crawled on his hands and knees into the room at the end of the hallway, holding out his left hand in Meg's direction to surrender. She stood in the doorway, leaning on the frame and watched him as he fell to the floor, turning on his back. He pulled out his gun from his jacket, and aimed it at her.

She pushed herself up off the support and walked into the room, smiling down at him. "Come on, Dean. Did your brain get french-fried in Hell? You can't shoot me with bullets."

"I'm not shooting you." He said raising his gun to the ceiling, causing her to look up, seeing the circular light fixture. He shot at it and, as it fell to the floor – making her disappear – he covered his head. "Iron." He said as he rolled over onto his back, holding his stomach and grunting in pain.


	9. Chapter 9

**EIGHT**  
_Northern Hills General Hospital, South Dakota – July 6, 2008_

Christina rolled her eyes as her physiotherapist talked her through the exercises she was required to do at home in order to maintain her spines strength. The three weeks she'd spent in physiotherapy so far had – in her opinion – been a huge waste of time. She still got the twinges if she over-exerted herself and sometimes when she didn't. There had been mornings when it was hard for her to climb out of bed because she'd lay on it all night, but she refused to give in to the weakness. She carried on regardless and she knew it was probably making her injury worse but she was the only one that could look after DJ.

_Singer's Salvage Yard, South Dakota – Present Day_

Sam rushed to the Impala, where he'd left Christina and his nephew. He'd been uneasy about leaving them but if he had dragged them with him, it would certainly have done more harm than good. He wouldn't have been able to concentrate on saving Bobby and he could've put them in harms way. He opened the rear door and unbuckled his nephew, "C'mon, we've got to get inside." He told Christina.

Climbing out of the car, she smiled when she saw her father, "You OK Dad?"

He nodded, "Nothing a shot of whiskey won't fix." He replied hurrying her to the backdoor of her childhood home.

"Dean!" Sam shouted out to his brother as they bundled inside.

"I'm good." He shouted back rushing down the stairs.

"What do these ghosts want?" Christina asked taking DJ from the youngest Winchester, as they entered the lounge.

Her father stood by his desk, which was piled with books and papers, "You got me."

= X =

Sam paced back and forth, "So, they're all people we know?"

"Not just know, people we couldn't save." Dean replied from his seat on the couch, as he loaded weapons with salt rounds. Bobby made eye contact with him, the guilt evident on his face. "Hey, I saw something on Meg. Did she have a tattoo when she was alive?"

His question didn't surprise Christina as she stood with her son in her arms, listening.

His brother frowned, trying to remember, "I don't think so."

"It was like a, a mark on her hand. Almost like a brand." He said indicating its position on his own hand.

Sam's encounter with the ghost of the FBI agent at the gas station thrust into the forefront of his mind. "I saw a mark, too, on Henriksen."  
"What'd it look like?" Bobby asked.

"Uh, paper?" He asked walking up to the desk. He took the paper Bobby offered, "Thanks." He said beginning to draw what he remembered the symbol to look like as the older man watched on and Dean loaded a round in the chamber of the rifle. When he was finished, Sam held up the notepad to show his brother.

"That's it." Dean confirmed.

He handed the paper over to Bobby, who studied the image. "I may have seen this before." He said, walking over to the bookshelf next to the fireplace.

Dean handed his brother the rifle he'd loaded as Bobby grabbed two books. The lights in the house began to flicker causing Dean to pull out another rifle and survey the area.

"We've gotta move." Bobby informed the Winchesters handing the books he held to Sam and getting more from the shelf. "Follow me."

"OK, where are we going?" Sam frowned.

He walked over to the desk, with two more books in hand, and looked over at him. "Someplace safe, you idjit."

They all made their way down to the basement and Bobby moved quickly to the right of the wooden staircase, heading toward the iron door there. He grabbed the handle as the three youngsters came up behind him. The brothers looked at the door, not sure what lay beyond it, but when Bobby pulled it open they exchanged glances before following Christina inside.

They instantly took in their surroundings. A pentagram symbol in the ceiling, which had once cast a shadow on the floor, contained the fan that filtered air into the space. The floor was painted with the same pentagram on a bigger scale in order to protect the confines the circular iron walls provided. There were three large cabinets well stocked with weapons on the walls, shelves holding canned food, a table with a radio and newspapers and books scattered on it, a desk pilled with books and a board above it covered in clippings, a sofa and a cot. A lot of thought had obviously gone into what would warrant the use of such a room.

The boys were in awe. Christina had seen it before and wasn't as impressed. She watched her Dad close the heavy iron door, separating them from the world outside, and lock it. Sam was distracted; he walked up to the wall and touched it as Bobby put down the books he'd brought with him.

He motioned to the wall, "Bobby, is this-"

"Solid iron. Completely coated in salt. 100% ghost-proof." He answered the question before he finished it.

"You built a panic room?" He asked causing Christina to roll her eyes as she watched her Dad shrug.

"I had a weekend off." He said, and Sam smiled.

"Bobby." Dean said, drawing his eyes to him, as he held one of the rifles he'd taken from the cabinet.

"What?"

He looked from the weapon to Bobby and dreamily smiled at him, "You're awesome."

= X =

Christina sat down on the cot in the room with DJ in her arms and visibly shivered. She hadn't had a chance to put on any clothes so she was still in the shorts and tank top pyjamas she'd wore to bed. It was cold in the ghost proof panic room, the iron walls it was made of saw to that and she seemed to be the only one that felt it.

Dean threw a look across at the mother of his child in time to see her chill and he removed his jacket as he made his way over. He chivalrously handed it to her, "Put that on."

She looked up momentarily, considering defiance, but she hadn't got the energy to fight with him and she _was_ cold. She held out their son in his direction, "Can you hold him?"

He put his heavy military style black coat down on the mattress next to her and took the infant from her. He watched her get to her feet and pick up his jacket, even in the badly lit room he could see the scars on her body and he knew they were recent by their redness. "Where did you get those?" He asked, his voice masked in compassion.

Self-consciously she wrapped the jacket around her body, once she'd slipped her arms into the sleeves, "Demon." She replied, not wanting to relive the whole thing again. But it was there regardless, it always was. She could see Alastair in her minds view carving into her like she was a thanksgiving turkey and she knew it was never going to go away.

He frowned, bouncing DJ in his arms as Daddy instinct took over, "When?" He gulped. He suspected he already knew, but he wanted her to say it.

"May." She said quietly, lowering back down to the cot.

Her admission made him swallow hard. He knew she'd almost died that night, but he hadn't dreamed she'd endured such torment. He sat down beside her, "I'm sorry." He spoke softly, feeling complete and utter guilt for how he'd repaid her devotion to him since he'd been back. But it didn't change the distance that had been created between them.

"You don't have to be sorry Dean. You didn't do it to me." She said taking her son back.

"No, but if it weren't for me you wouldn't have them."

"It's too late to be guilty. I've made my peace with it."

He nodded, not believing for one second that she was over it. "Did you at least kill the bastard that did it?"

She shook her head, "He was a slippery little sucker. But I'll find him one day."

He forced a smile, "I don't doubt that."

She frowned at him suspiciously, "Why are you being nice to me?"

"I don't like fighting with you."

"Who are you trying to kid? You get a kick out of making me miserable."

"Maybe I did. But that all changed when I went to Hell. There's nothing like a red hot pitch fork up your ass to give you a little perspective."

"So what was that the other day? Because I didn't exactly get the warm and fluffy reunion I was hoping for."

"I was just…"

She sighed, "Do you know what? I don't want to go through what it was or wasn't again. I got the message and I'm not going to apologise for wanting to keep my distance from you."

"And how are you going to do that when I'll be coming by to see DJ?"

"Dad and Sam will have to be mediators because I really can't stand to be around you at the moment."

"We seem to be doing OK right now."

"I'm only subjecting myself to your toxic personality to protect myself and my son from killer ghosts. Don't get excited because as soon as this is over, so are we." She said getting to her feet and walking over to the couch where Sam was sat.

Bobby watched his daughter move from one brother to the other as he did some research on the mark they'd both seen and he sighed. He hadn't heard her conversation with Dean, but he knew reconciliation wasn't on the cards by his reaction to her departure. She'd become distant lately, like the only person she trusted was Sam, and that worried him. They'd always been close when she was growing up, despite him not being her biological father, and he feared that his grief over Dean's death had drawn a wedge between them that no amount of band-aids could fix.

= X =

Dean and Sam sat at the desk making salt rounds for the weapons they'd need against the ghosts, and exchanged glances. It was evident Dean had something on his mind, but he went back to the job at hand, trying to push it to the back of his mind. But it was no good, he had to share what he was thinking, or it was going to drive him insane.

"See, this is why I can't get behind God." He said out of the blue, causing all the eyes around the room to gravitate toward him.

Christina's conversation with Castiel sprung to her mind. She may have been required to help him believe, but Dean was not going to do that without a fight. She knew that, and she suspected the angel did too, that's why he'd made it her mission. But she just didn't have the strength or the proof to succeed in what he wanted from her, and Dean would always need proof. To see with his own eyes so he couldn't deny it's existence, like all the horrible things he'd been hunting all his life. The task she'd been assigned was mission impossible, and she didn't have the time or the effort to put into completing his request.

"What are you talking about?" His brother asked.

"If he doesn't exit, fine. Bad crap happens to good people. That's how it is." Dean replied looking from Bobby to Christina to Sam. "There's no rhyme or reason, just random, horrible, evil… I get it, OK. I can roll with that. But if he is out there, what's wrong with him? Where the hell is he while all these decent people are getting torn to shreds? How does he live with himself? You know, why doesn't he help?"

Sam looked over at Bobby and they shared a look, neither one of them having an answer to his mountain of questions. Sam shifted uncomfortably in his seat, trying to muster a response, but he had no explanation.

Dean shot a look at Bobby, expecting that he would have an answer, but he shrugged. "I ain't touching this one with a 10 foot pole."

"Yeah." He said suspecting as much as he turned back to the shells on the surface in front of him.

"Just because you don't understand it Dean, doesn't make Him a myth." Christina piped up.

He spun to face her, "Since when do you believe in God?" He frowned.

"Since always. I pray every night because with all the evil in the world, there has to be good too – there just has to be."

Her revelation muted them all. If they were honest none of them saw her as the religious type, especially with her history. She had more reason than most to be bitter about God's lack of interest, but the fact she believed stunned them all. Regardless, they went back to what they were doing before anyone spoke.

Bobby indicated to the book lying open on the table in front of him with his pen. "Found it."

The brother's looked over at him. "What?" Sam asked.

He flipped a page and tapped the picture he'd drawn with the top of his writing implement before pointing to it in the book. "The symbol you saw, the brand on the ghosts."

"Yeah?"

"Mark Of The Witness."

"Witness? Witness to what?"

"The unnatural. None of them died what you'd call _ordinary_ deaths. See, these ghosts; they were forced to rise. They woke up in agony. They're like rabid dogs. It ain't their fault. Someone rose 'em… on purpose."

"Who?"

"Do I look like I know?" He asked holding out his hands. "But whoever it was used a spell so powerful it left a mark; a brand on their souls."

Dean looked at Sam, whose attention was concentrated on Bobby, and watched as he got up and walked over.

"Whoever did this had big plans. It's called 'The Rising Of The Witnesses'." The older man continued pointing at the book with his pen. "It, it figures into an ancient prophecy."

"Wait, Wait. What-" The older brother started getting out of his chair before joining Sam by Bobby. "What book is that prophecy from?"

"Well, the widely distributed version's just for tourists, you know. But uh… long story short – Revelations." He replied bringing a look of surprise to the Winchesters faces. "This is a sign boys."

"A sign of what?" Both men spoke in unison.

"The apocalypse."

They both did a double take, "Apocalypse?" Dean asked to clarify he'd heard right.

"Yup."

"As in apocalypse, apocalypse? The four horsemen, pestilence, $5-A-Gallon-Gas apocalypse?"

"That's the one. 'The Rise Of The Witnesses' is a… a mile marker."

Despite the news, Sam was surprisingly calm when he spoke, "OK, so, what do we do now?"

"Road trip." His brother suggested, turning and walking back to his seat before sitting down. "Grand Canyon, Star Trek Experience, Bunny Ranch."

"First things first." Bobby said causing Dean to turn in his seat to face him, "How about we survive our friends out there?"

"Great. Any ideas, beside staying in this room 'til judgement day?"

The Singer man indicated to the book, "It's a spell… to send the witnesses back to rest. Should work."

"Should. Heh, great." Sam said, showing his lack of enthusiasm.

"If I translate it correctly. I think I got everything we need here at the house."

"Any chance you've got everything we need here in this room?" Dean asked throwing a glance around at the salt covered iron walls.

"So, you thought our luck was gonna start now all of a sudden?" He asked back rhetorically getting up out of his chair and walking over to the weapons. "Spells gotta be cast over an open fire."

"Fireplace in the library." Sam realised.

"Bingo."

"It's just not as appealing as a ghost-proof panic room, you know?" Dean piped up.

= X =

Christina sighed. She'd been locked away in the panic room for a while and she was going crazy waiting. She knew patience was supposedly a virtue, but she hadn't been blessed with the ability to wait – especially when every bone in her body told her she should be out there fighting. As much as she'd wanted to break out of the lifestyle, it wasn't easy to separate from what she'd grown up to be.

This wasn't the first time she'd tried to get out. In 2005 – in an effort to put hunting behind her – she'd met a guy at a bar and he was everything Dean wasn't. She wanted to escape, so – against her better judgement – she'd allowed herself to be vulnerable and it had proved to be worthwhile. She and Charlie, her fiancé, had fallen in love and – six months later – decided to get married. But things always had a way of creeping up on you, which is exactly what her old life had done.

At the time she'd known her father was back in touch with the Winchesters, he would barely talk about anything else when she called, and she tried to play it off like she wasn't interested but Dean was an itch she just couldn't scratch. So when she'd learned about the deal he'd made for Sam, she found her way back to him. She'd just walked out on what had become her life and it had all been for nothing.

She didn't regret the past year of her life or being back where she ultimately belonged – because this path had given her DJ – but everything could've been so much different if she'd just stayed away.

She'd struggled for so long to forget her feelings for Dean but when she'd seen him walk into that bar, they all rose back up to the surface like an old friend calling to say 'hi'. They'd been her downfall. He was the one chink in her armour and she hated that he had such an invisible hold on her. But feelings weren't like a tap, it was going to be hard to shut them off, and she would at least get ten out of ten for effort if she failed.

Being alone with her thoughts didn't necessarily give her any clarity, she was still a fool for that man, but she would fight until her dying breath to survive without him.

Just as she reached the point of banging the door with her fists to get their attention, she heard it unlock from the other side.

"It's about time." She commented as they all came into view.

"Thanks for your concern, but we're OK." Dean countered sarcastically.

"So, it's all over?"

"No, we thought we'd hide out down here until they get bored."

Sam rolled his eyes, "Yes, it's over."

"Good." She said scooping DJ up from the cot mattress. "Then I'm going home."

= X =

Danny held her number in his hand. He'd been staring at it since early that morning trying to find the courage to call but it was hours later and he still hadn't been able to think of a decent opening that didn't sound too desperate or too casual.

_Just do it_, the voice inside his mind shouted.

With a deep breath, he picked up his phone and punched in her number. Automatically he hit the call button before he had a chance to change his mind and when it started ringing the other end he knew it was too late to go back.

= X =

Christina frowned as she walked out of the iron room and her cell phone started to ring. "Can you take him a sec?" She asked thrusting DJ into his fathers' arms before she took it from her pocket. She checked the I.D. of the caller on the screen but her phone didn't recognise the number and neither did she. Sliding it open with her frown held, she put it to her ear, "Hello?"

"CJ, it's Danny." He answered the confusion he heard in her voice.

"Danny." She threw a look at Dean before wandering away from him, "Hi."

"Hi. You said to call when I'd got some free time to grab that coffee."

She raked a hand through her hair; his call couldn't have come at a worse time. She threw a look over her shoulder at Dean to find him watching her and she cleared her throat as she disconnected her eyes from his, "When are you free?"

"Today actually. So I was thinking we could meet up at the coffee shop around the corner in about an hour, if you're not busy."

"Uh, yeah… sure." She said checking her watch.

"Great, I'll see you then." He said feeling huge relief.

Christina hung up her phone and walked back to take her son back, "Thanks."

"So, who was that?" Dean asked inquisitively.

She tucked her fringe behind her ear gingerly, "It was uh, just a friend."

"Sounds ominous."

"Well, I don't care what it sounds like." She snapped. "I'm going to get him home. Bye Dean."

"Chrissie, before you go." Bobby stopped her as she headed to the wooden steps. "Can I talk to you?"

"OK." She replied suspiciously.

She watched her Dad throw a look to the brothers; silently telling them he wanted privacy and that's when she knew it was serious. They quickly obliged and she rolled her eyes, she was hardly in the mood for a heart to heart.

"What is it Dad?" She asked wanting to get it over with.

"What Dean said about not wanting to be with you, it was all front. He just doesn't feel like he deserves a future right now so don't take it too personal."

"That's what you wanted to talk about?" She asked barely believing her ears.

"Of course, what else would it be?"

She was stunned into silence for a minute. He'd barely given her much attention in recent days. He hadn't enquired how she was feeling and it made her as mad as hell. But she forced it back.

"I appreciate what you're trying to do Dad, but I really don't care what Dean does or doesn't mean anymore." She turned to leave again.

He reached out to grab her arm and spun her back to face him, instantly losing his patience, "What the devil's got into you lately? You're different… distant."

She released an ironic laugh, "I can't imagine why."

Bobby stared at her as a heavy silence settled between them, "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when Dean…"

Her eyes shot up to his, considering for a minute to spare his feelings but she was agitated. She took a deep breath, "You know what Dad, you don't get to say you're sorry and expect to fix it." She dismissed his apology. "I needed you and you abandoned me. You let me cope on my own when you were supposed to be there for me because I was grieving too. That's not something that can just be forgiven so easily." She said tearing up.

He reached out to her, "Princess."

But she stepped away from him, "I wasn't enough for you – _DJ _wasn't enough for you. You focused on what you'd lost instead of what you had and that hurt more than you will ever know."

His own tears rose to the surface, "The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you but all I could see when I closed my eyes was that boy torn to ribbons."

"And I felt like I was staring into a future on my own."

"If I could take it all back I would, in a heartbeat. You and DJ are the most important thing in the world to me."

She half nodded, "I understand that, but it didn't feel like that."

= X =

Christina sat on the couch in the panic room with her son and her father laughing at something he'd said when she threw a glance at the clock. "Shit, I gotta go. I'm supposed to be meeting Danny in twenty minutes." She said shooting up to her feet, and grabbing DJ.

Bobby got to his feet, "Who's Danny?"

"Daniel Anderson. He moved into my apartment building a few months ago and he asked me to go for coffee." She gave him all the necessary information.

"I know the Anderson's, they're good folks."

She wasn't really surprised by her father's admission, "Do you know much about him?"

He shrugged, "Only that he was gone a while before he came back to town. But he seems like a good kid."

"Does that mean he meets with your approval?"

He smiled, "It's good to see you excited about someone again."

A smile of her own formed on her lips and she leaned forward to kiss Bobby on the cheek, "I love you Daddy."

"I love you too Princess."

Their time sat in the basement had helped them to clear the air. Christina had got a lot of things off her chest, which helped Bobby understand what she had gone through and what she was dealing with. And he'd in turn given her an insight to how he'd felt. They were completely honest with each other and that had gone a long way toward repairing the damage.

"I better go and get ready. I can't go and meet him in my pyjamas." She said seeming to skip to the open door.

But her Dad's voice stopped her before she got too far, "Why don't you let me have DJ for a couple of hours while you see this guy?"

"You don't have to do that."

"I want to. I've kinda missed having him around."

= _About Half An Hour Later_ =

Christina walked into the coffee shop where she'd arranged to meet Danny and looked around for him. She was extremely nervous. The only man she'd ever been interested in before was Dean and things were just so comfortable with him because they'd been friends first, but this guy was a complete stranger and finding some common ground was going to be difficult, especially when she knew so little about him. Seeing him in the corner, she made her way over and the butterflies she'd been having since his call intensified by a hundred.

He smiled as he saw her approach and got to his feet, "Hey."

Politely, she smiled back, "Hi. Sorry I'm late."

He offered her the seat opposite his at the table and they both sat down, "Where's the little guy?" He asked after her son.

"I left him with his grandpa. I thought this whole getting to know you might go a little better if I wasn't completely preoccupied." She replied, although she was beginning to regret her decision to leave him behind, knowing he could've turned out to be a great conversation piece.

He smiled. He liked that she wanted to give him her undivided attention. He wrung his hands together and looked around for inspiration, he had no idea how to start. It had been a while since he'd been on a date, actually it had been three years, four months, one week and five days, but he wasn't counting.

"I'm pretty nervous." He confessed honestly.

"And I thought I was the only one." She laughed.

"So, how do we start this?"

"How about you tell me a bit about yourself?"

"OK… um, I'm 34. I'm 6' 2", I have brown hair and brownie orange coloured eyes. I like classic rock music; I only read books written by James Herbert, and some have said I watch a lot of movies. I like showers, not baths. My favourite colour is red, I haven't been on a date for almost three and a half years and I used to be a marine."

"Wow. That's a lot of information."

"I know, I was practicing that before you came in."

"Alright, well let's see if I can counter that." She said with a smile. "I'm um… 30 years old. I'm only 5' 7" so walking down the street with me is going to be a blast. I also like classic rock music and the colour red. I don't get to do a lot of reading or movie watching and I smell like baby sick most of the time."

He nodded approvingly as she finished, "Nice."

She laughed, "So, 34-year-old Danny, have you got any kids?"

He shook his head, "I haven't met the right woman."

"And who is Mrs Right?"

He was caught off-guard, "Uh… she's gotta be funny, she's got to not take herself seriously and she's gotta have a killer smile."

"Those are your only requirements?"

"Those are the only one's I can think of." He shrugged, "What about you?"

"After the relationships I've had? I'd be happy with a guy who isn't scared of commitment." Of course she was talking about Dean. But she didn't want to think of him. So she quickly changed the subject. "What do you do for a living Danny?"

"I'm, uh, I'm in marketing."

"That sounds…" She trailed off searching for a word to use that didn't seem insulting.

"You can say boring; I won't hold it against you."

"I wasn't going to say boring."

"No, but you were thinking it." He said, smiling. "And you'd be right, it's extremely boring, but it was that or fire-fighter and I went the safe route."

"Is your father a fire-fighter?"

"He and my brother." He confirmed with a nod. "And now you're wishing that one of them were on this date aren't you?" He asked causing her to laugh.

"No. But I am wondering what the difference is between fire-fighter and marine, they're both pretty risky."

"Right, but after I'd served the last thing I wanted was to see another dead body so…"

She felt instantly guilty, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pried."

"Hey no, we've all got a history right?" She nodded as silence fell between them, "And what is it you do?"

"Oh, I'm just a Mom."

"See you say that like its no big deal but I've got nieces and nephews, so I know how hard it can be."

"Actually, DJ is pretty easy to take care off."

He watched her talk about her son and saw her face light up. He knew right then and there that this was a woman he wanted in his life, a woman that put her child first – like it should be. It brought an involuntary smile to his face, "What did you do before you had him?"

She was caught by surprise so she thought off the top of her head. "I uh… I worked for my Dad, at the Salvage Yard." She lied.

"You and your Dad are pretty close?"

"Yeah, we always have been for as long as I can remember." She said relaxing back in her chair.

"And I bet he loves being a grandpa."

"Oh yeah, he helps out from time to time whenever I need a break from Mom duty."

"How about his father?"

"Ah, he's around but only when he wants to be." She answered bitterly.

"Is it that tall guy I passed in the hall a while back?"

"Who, Sam? No, it's his brother, Dean. Although you'd think it was Sam for all the time we spend together. He's always checking in on us to make sure we're OK."

"Sounds like a good guy."

"He is. I can always rely on him."

"Must be a big help."

She nodded, wanting to bring an end to the topic. "So – changing the subject from me and my complicated life – what do you do for fun?"

"I'm a pretty keen pool player."

"You any good?"

"I'd say so."

"It's a shame there isn't a table in here. We could test that theory."

He laughed, "You play?"

"From time to time."

"Oh, well maybe next time I'll take you to a bar."

She was so preoccupied by her companion that she didn't see him walk in and order some coffees. But while he waited, he took a scan of the room and instantly spotted her, so made his way over.

"CJ?" He asked.

She dragged her attention from Danny and directed her eyes to his, "Sam… hi."

"What are you doing here?" He asked shooting a glance at the man with her.

"I'm just catching up with a friend."

Danny threw her a look; it was immediately obvious she was uncomfortable and didn't want him to know that they were on a date. He disregarded his first instinct to make it clear to him exactly what they were doing there and got to his feet to extend his hand in his direction, "Hi, I'm Danny." He introduced himself.

Sam shook his hand, "Sam."

He sat back down, "You want to join us?"

He twisted to look back at the counter to see if his order was ready, "Uh, no thanks. I'm just here grabbing some coffees." He said looking back at Christina. "I'll leave you to it." He nudged her with his hand. "See you later."

She nodded, her eyes glued to the surface in front of her, "Yeah, later."

She knew she shouldn't feel guilty about moving on from Dean, but it felt like Sam had caught her cheating and she instantly hated herself. She was having such a good time with this guy and all their progress had been for nothing because she didn't want to be there anymore. She had to stop herself running after Sam and swearing him to secrecy, maybe it would do her good to get a taste of life without the constant weight of Dean on her shoulders, and he would surely wash his hands of her once he heard she was dating.

Her demeanour didn't go unnoticed by her companion. "Are you alright?" He asked after her measured silence.

His voice seemed to spur her into action and she shot up to her feet, "I'm sorry Danny. I don't know what I'm doing here. I should go. Thanks for the coffee." She said, before turning and rushing for the door.

Danny caught up to her when she hit the street, "Hey, wait." He said grabbing for her arm to stop her running off. "What's going on? You were fine until he showed up."

She sighed, "I wasn't completely honest with you earlier. Dean doesn't just drop in on my life whenever he wants to, he's a constant part of it but he doesn't want me, and this, it's just about getting back at him. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have dragged you into this."

"I wasn't exactly kicking and screaming Christina. I like you, and I want to get to know you better. If it doesn't lead to anything but friendship, I'm OK with that but you've got to give it a chance."


	10. Chapter 10

**NINE**

Sam made his way back to Bobby's unsettled by what he'd seen. He knew Christina had tried to cover up what he'd walked in on as innocent, but he'd seen right through her story. He knew that look. She was lost, she felt like she didn't fit anywhere and she was searching for something to fill the hole Dean had left behind. But to see her actually giving up on him had thrown him out of his comfort zone. If there was one thing he was sure of, it was that Christina and his brother belonged together.

"Hey." Dean greeted him as he walked in Bobby's back door.

"Yeah." He countered distracted.

His brother picked up on it right away, "You OK?"

"I-uh…" He turned to look behind him at the door he'd walked through and then back to Dean, "I think I just saw CJ on a date."

"CJ? On a date?"

"Yeah, she was with that guy I saw coming out of her apartment."

"Did she see you?"

"Yeah, I talked to her."

"What did she say?"

"She said they were friends, but she looked… guilty."

"Then maybe it wasn't what you thought it was."

"I'm just saying, that's what it looked like."

At that point Bobby walked in the room with his son. "And here's the man that would know."

He frowned in reply, "What would I know?"

"Is CJ on a date?"

He nodded, "Yeah, she's having coffee with a guy."

"You knew?" Sam asked with a frown.

Bobby looked from the youngest Winchester to the eldest and back again, "Don't you think she should move on from your brother or do you want her to be miserable for the rest of her life?"

His question made Dean feel sick with guilt. He knew how tied up in their disfunctional relationship they both were. He'd hurt her and she'd always forgive him. She'd tell him she was out but he'd find a way to pull her back in. It was a terrible thing to admit, but he relied on how she felt so he could keep going back. They both knew it. But if she was starting to date he knew his grasp on her was coming to an end – the dance was over – and he didn't like it.

Sam had been right, when he'd first mentioned seeing that man at her apartment, jealousy had immediately flared up inside him. He didn't like the idea of her being with anyone else.

"Yeah, no… it was just weird." Sam replied honestly.

"Danny's a good guy. I know the family."

Dean couldn't speak; he was still in shock. The pit of his stomach hurt, like he'd been kicked between the legs hard. He was winded. He'd never imagined there'd ever be a day when he couldn't rely on Christina being there for him, but she was slipping through his fingers. Only__commitment scared him. He had no idea how he could keep a hold on her without promising her everything she wanted because he was sure temptation would test him and he'd ultimately destroy her desired future when he was unfaithful.

Bobby looked at Dean, he'd been quiet since he'd confirmed his daughter's whereabouts and he sensed it had given him the shock he needed. "Any more questions?"

Dean shook his head and looked down at his feet. He had to formulate a plan that would see them both getting something positive out of their relationship.

= X =

"So, you and this Dean character, how did you meet?" Danny asked Christina as he sat on the couch in her apartment.

She passed him his coffee and took a seat next to him, "Our Dad's were friends. We practically grew up together." She smiled as her sentence sparked a memory, "Him and Sam were the only boys my Dad would let me be around without his supervision."

He nodded, "So it was inevitable that you two would end up together."

"I guess so" She sighed, "I've always known Dean wasn't the kind of guy that stuck to one girl and when I got pregnant, I hoped that would change but I was just fooling myself. I doubt he ever loved me the way I love him. I'm not sure he even knows how to love someone like normal people do."

He laughed, "_Normal _people?"

She smiled, "Yeah, um… Dean prides himself on not being normal."

= _A While Later_ =

Christina made her way in though the front door of her father's house and called out to whoever was inside. But when there was no answer, she made her way to the main room, "He-" She was abruptly cut short calling another greeting when she saw Dean sat behind her Dad's desk. She tucked some of her hair behind her ear, "Hey."

"Hi." He countered looking up at her.

She looked around, "Where's DJ?"

"I think Bobby took him out for a walk."

"Oh." She was uncomfortable because she'd been hoping to get her son and leave before the inquisition but she could sense it coming. She suspected Sam had told him exactly where she'd been and who with, and she knew Dean wouldn't be able to hold his tongue – the curiosity would be too much for him to tolerate.

He watched her linger awkwardly in the doorway, he knew she was expecting him to mention what his brother had seen and he didn't want to disappoint her.

"So, how was your date?" He asked casually, seeming not to care.

But she knew Dean too well to assume he wasn't bothered. The question had been one he couldn't resist asking. She smiled, and – instead of withdrawing inside her shell – she stuck out her chest, held up her head and stood tall as she moved into the room, "Pretty great actually. Danny's a good guy."

"And you know that by having one coffee with him?" He asked with raised eyebrows.

"Oh yeah. He's upfront and honest – I already know more about him than I do about you."

He took the underhand comment she made at his expense with a smile, "Great. I hope you two will be very happy together." He said trying not to be obvious that he was jealous, but it didn't take a genius to see it and she thrived off his displeasure.

"Awww, thank you Dean. It means _so _much to have your approval." She countered sarcastically.

"C'mon, I'm trying not to be dick here and accept that you're moving on." He said, trying the reverse psychology route.

But that worked just about as well as his attempt to hide his feelings. She slowly manoeuvred to the couch and took a seat, "I don't need your acceptance Dean. We were done the minute you stopped kissing me so don't for one second think that I owe you anything."

He inhaled deeply, "Boy you really get a kick out of sticking it to the man don't you?"

"When the man's you… yeah."

"Right, me and my toxic personality." He said repeating what she'd said to him in the panic room. He had to use his back up plan, hurt her – right where it would cause the maximum amount of pain. "Do you want to know why we wouldn't have worked?" He didn't wait for her to answer. "You're too dependable CJ. I like women who play hardball and the truth is, I'd only have to click my fingers and you'd come running back like an obedient little puppy. It's pathetic. And if you think that pretending you're moving on is going to make me have an epiphany you're wasting your time. The thing is, you'll be forgotten as soon as I lay down with another woman."

Despite his words, she smiled. She knew they'd been intended to upset her because his ego had taken a blow and, as much as the urge to jump across the room and rip his heart out boiled in her blood, she sat calmly looking him dead in the eye. "Who are you trying to convince Dean, me or yourself?" She asked before getting to her feet and walking through the kitchen to the back door. "Tell my Dad to drop DJ at home when he's ready."

Hearing the door close behind her Dean cursed himself silently. He hadn't meant a single word he'd said about not wanting her, or about her being easy to get over, but he was using limited resources at such short notice. He'd been hoping the reverse psychology would make her fight for him but she hadn't. So he'd attacked her with the only thing he knew would hurt her. That hadn't worked the way he'd wanted it to either. Sam was right; she'd completely given up on him and he couldn't even begin to figure out a plan to get her back.

= X =

Christina walked into her apartment with fire in her belly. She was furious with Dean for saying those things to her, even if they were only designed to get a reaction. He knew exactly which buttons to press and she livid that – yet again – he'd got under her skin.

She slammed her front door closed and let a frustrated scream boil in hr throat before releasing it as she swept her hand across the table in her hall. The frames and knick-knacks shattered and smashed to pieces as they hit the hard surface. Dean was going to be the death of her.

She went to her bedroom and continued her rage; moving her hand over her chest of drawers and dressing table in turn. The framed photos and make-up ended up on the floor in a heap. Then she saw his picture on her bedside table. Without thinking she headed over, picked it up and threw it, with all her strength, through the pane glass window and as she heard it land on the pavement below she allowed her bed to catch her, the fight leaving her body as quickly as it had appeared.

= X =

He was making his way home when a framed photo landed and smashed at his feet. He looked up at the building, in the direction it had come from and instantly knew who lived in the apartment with the now pane less window. He bent down and picked up the frame, he didn't know the man in the photo, but his guess was that it was Dean.

= X =

She lay in the middle of her mattress staring up at the ceiling wishing she could disappear to somewhere far away and forget she knew him, but she'd tried that before and it would no more work now as it had then. Dean had a way of following her around.

"Hello!" She heard a voice ring out throughout her apartment. "CJ?"

She listened and instantly recognised the voice. She got up to her feet and rushed out of her room toward his location. "Danny."

He looked from the broken glass and porcelain on the floor to her face, "What happened? Are you OK?"

She nodded, "I was venting my anger. It was smash up this place or take a seat on death row with the other murderers."

"Let me guess, this guy has something to do with it?" He asked holding up the frame that had once taken pride of place in her bedroom.

"How did you-" She started, wondering how he'd come to be in possession of that particular item. "Oh my God, it didn't hit you did it?"

He smiled and shook his head, "It landed at my feet. One more step and you might have gotten an accidental manslaughter charge instead."

"My God, I'm sorry." She apologised as she made her way over to him and took her property back. "I shouldn't let him get to me but he's so good at it."

"What's he done?"

She exhaled as she made her way to the lounge. "Nothing, its just Dean being Dean."

"Do you need me to rough him up a little?" He joked following her.

"Oh no, if anyone's getting that satisfaction, it's me." She countered.

"Alright well, what can I do?"

"Know any good glass places that can fit me a new window by tonight?"

"As a matter of fact, I do. I'll go make a call and then I'll help you clean up here."

"No Danny, you don't need to do that. I can get this cleaned up myself."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, but if you could sweep the glass up off the street I'd be grateful."

"Consider it done." He said turning to leave.

"Hey." She stopped him. "Thanks."

"No problem. Just remind me never to get on the wrong side of you." He laughed.

= X =

Bobby smiled at his grandson as he strapped him back into his stroller after feeding him his dinner. "Right little man, you ready to go back to Mommy?" He asked rhetorically. He knew DJ wasn't capable of speaking yet, but talking to him was going to be the quickest way to achieve that goal so he did it regardless.

"Bobby." He heard Dean approach from the library. "CJ and I kinda got into it earlier, so would you mind if I took him back? I'd like to put it right."

"Can you?"

He shrugged, "I wanna try."

"Boy, every time you're around her lately, you two are fighting. It's not fair on her, on you or DJ. He doesn't need to grow up thinking his parents hate each other."

"I know, you're right. I keep trying to make it better between us but everything I say is wrong. I just can't seem to put it right."

"Because you're punishing yourself. You think you don't deserve her, so you push and you push and when she finally says 'enough' you can give yourself a big old pat on the back because, that's your pay off."

Dean frowned, "Dr. Phil?"

He shrugged, "CJ brought me his book when I couldn't get my head out of the bottle." He admitted. "The point is, if you don't want to be with her, you gotta let her go so she can move on with her life."

"She already has, with Danny."

"That was one cup of coffee and she only did that to get you to open your eyes."

"What if it's too late? I said some horrible things to her earlier."

"Boy, you two have been beating each other up with words since you were 10. What makes you think that 20 years changes anything?"

"So, you'll let me take him home?"

He shook his head, "If you two are going to fight, I think its best he stays here."

"I'm not going over there to fight."

"Oh, you'll get one. If I know my Princess, she'll have a rolling pin waiting for you when you get there."

= X =

Christina swept up the last of the mess in the hall with a dustpan and disposed of it in the waste bin she'd taken from the kitchen. The noise as all the broken pieces disappeared into the garbage bag meant she didn't hear him arrive. But she stopped dead in her tracks when she spun on her heel to face him as he stood in the open doorway.

She sighed, "What do you want?"

"What happened?" He asked referring to the mess she'd cleaned up.

"You." She answered, taking the garbage back to the kitchen and throwing the dustpan under the sink. She turned back, to find he'd followed her and shifted to lean on the work surface with one hand while the other came up to rest on her hip. "You didn't answer my question, why are you here?"

"I came to apologise."

"Again? Well you know what? I'm getting a little sick and tired of your empty apologies. So why don't save yourself the breath for next time?"

"I hate hurting you."

"Then why is it you keep doing exactly that?"

"Because I'm stupid and I don't know a good thing when I have it."

She stood still, staring at him, trying to gage where his sudden turn around had come from but it dawned on her that she really didn't care. She was sick of giving him power over her and it was time she stood up to him. "Fine, you've apologised. Now you can go." She said, walking to where he stood in the doorway to get past him.

But he grabbed her arm and pulled her back to face him before she could leave the room. Her reflexes were fast, and she pulled her arm out of his grasp before he had a firm hold.

"Don't." She warned.

He sighed, "Tell me how I make it right." He almost pleaded.

"There is no making it right Dean. Just go wherever it is you want to go and leave me the hell alone."

"I find it hard to believe we're past repair. We've put each other through worse than this before."

She turned on him like an attack dog, "No. _You _have put _me _through worse than this, but I've decided I'm not going to take it anymore. You've always called the shots and I've always obeyed your every command when it's come to a relationship between us, well now it's my turn. You don't get to decide anymore. So do us both a favour, and just be there for our son. Forget we ever meant anything to each other, because I am done wanting anything from you."

= _A Week Later_ =

Dean was lying in bed fast asleep, using his leather jacket as warmth, as his brother moved about the room quietly. He was fully dressed and was careful not to cause too much noise. He didn't want him to catch him sneaking out in the middle of the night because he knew that – left alone - Dean would be out until morning. He grabbed his coat and slipped out silently.

Behind his eyes Dean was back in Hell, reliving everything he'd endured during his time there. It haunted him. He could see his face; red – covered in blood – and then he heard his screams. His eyes snapped open, and the images immediately disappeared. He tried to get his breath back. He had barely had a peaceful night's sleep in the time he'd been back and it was frustrating because he was never properly rested.

"Hello Dean." Castiel's voice filtered into the dark, silent room. Dean looked over his shoulder to see him sitting on the other side of the bed. "What were you dreaming about?"

He uncovered his body, shoving his jacket off his arm. "What, do you get your freak on by watching other people sleep?" He asked disgruntled. "What do you want?"

"Listen to me, you have to stop it."  
Dean raised an eyebrow, "Stop what?"

But Castiel just raised his right hand and placed two fingers on Dean's forehead in response.

= X =

Christina and Dean hadn't spoken in a week, since their fight. He'd given her the space she asked for – too proud to fight for what he'd discovered he wanted – and she'd kept her distance – too angry to be flexible when it came to her demands.

She'd had moments when she felt bad about the way she'd left things with him – knowing in her heart that he was only trying to put right what he'd made wrong – only those feelings disappeared before she talked herself into calling him and apologising. She wasn't sure what had come over her but the anger just wouldn't go away. Every time she thought about him, she got so mad she could barely think straight.

It had been strange not having any contact for the week but she needed to calm down before she could even consider being around him with DJ. And she knew that he'd taken some notice of the things she'd said this time because he hadn't attempted to make contact either.

It had truly surprised her how well she'd adapted to having a Dean free life. She wasn't wallowing. She wasn't mourning the passing of their relationship. She was actually finding it easier to cope now she'd decided to let him go. She'd also got to spend more time with Danny and had to come to find herself looking forward to seeing him because she actually liked him.

= X =

Dean gasped as he woke up on his bed and lifted his head off the pillow. Castiel had transported him back in time to 1973 in Lawrence, Kansas where his parents were growing up to prevent his mother making a deal with Azazel in exchange for John's life and he'd failed. He'd been too late to stop Mary giving Yellow-Eyes the permission to enter her home ten years later, in order to feed six month old Sam on demon blood – of course she hadn't known then why he'd wanted access, but in order to have the love her life back in it she'd granted his request without querying the reason for it.

Dean looked over at the angel, who was stood near the foot of his bed, as he threw his legs off the side and sat on the edge. "I couldn't stop any of it. She still made the deal." He said about his mom, disappointed by his efforts to prevent it. "She still died in the nursery didn't she?"

Castiel didn't make eye contact with the man. "Don't be too hard on yourself, you couldn't have stopped it."

Dean slowly got up off the bed, looking at the Supreme Being. "What?"

"Destiny can't be changed Dean, all roads lead to the same direction."

"Then why'd you send me back?"

"For the truth, now you know everything we do."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Castiel nodded over to the other bed in the room, to draw attention to the fact that Sam wasn't where he was supposed to be. "Where's Sam?"

"We know what Azazel did to your brother, what we don't know is why, what his endgame is. He went to great lengths to cover that up."

But he hadn't answered his question. "Where's Sam?"

"425 Waterman." Dean headed for the door, grabbing his keys and his jacket on the way as Castiel continued to talk, seemingly oblivious to his movement. "Your brother is headed down a dangerous road Dean, and we're not sure where it leads, so stop it." He ordered, shifting his eyes to his in order to emphasize his words. "Or we will."

The intensity in the room made him realise not to take the angel's threat lightly. He had no idea what Sam was doing, or why he had snuck out in the middle of the night, but if he had to stop him from it – he knew it couldn't be good.

= X =

The possessed man sat in the middle of a Devil's Trap chained to a chair waiting for whatever was in store for him. Sam stood in front of him and the demon he'd kept hidden from his brother, stood to the man's right.

"Where's Lilith?" Sam asked forcefully.

The possessed stranger gritted his teeth, "Kiss my ass." He said, his eyes turning black.

"I'd watch myself if I were you." The young Winchester man told him.

"Why? Huh? Because you're Sam Winchester – Mr. Big Hero? And yet here you are, slutting around with some demon. Real hero."

Sam's face immediately masked anger. "Shut your mouth."

"Tell me about those months without your brother. About all the things you and this demon bitch do in the dark." He said, causing Ruby to throw the hunter a look. "Huh? Tell me, hero."

Sam had heard enough. The anger pumped through his veins and he used it to force the demon out of the man's body. The black smoke of the demon fell and burned through the floor beneath the chair, sending it back to hell. Sam fought to get himself under control as Ruby looked down at the residue of the demon on the floor and a smile played on her lips. The two of them exchanged a look and he gave her a little smile. But what neither of them realised was that they were being watched. Dean looked in through the window, witnessing just how far his brother's power had progressed and he felt sick to his stomach.

Sam reached out to check the pulse of the man unconsciously bound to the chair and he smiled at Ruby to indicate his heart was still beating.

"How'd it feel?" Ruby asked eager for details.

"Good. No more headaches." He replied beginning to untie the man.

"None? That's good." She said as the man started to regain consciousness.

"Hey, hey. I got you. It's all right." Sam said helping him out of the chair and beginning to walk him toward the door. But he stopped dead in his tracks when it opened and revealed an angry looking Dean.

"So… anything you wanna tell me Sam?" He asked, his mood reflected in his tone.

He did his best to portray innocence as Ruby stood behind him, watching, as the older brother got closer, "Dean, hold on, OK? Just let me-"

"You gonna say, let me explain?" He stopped him short. "You're gonna explain this? How about this, why don't you start with who she is, and what the hell is she doing here?" He asked looking at him with hard eyes.

Sam turned to look at her. She was calm and a smile played on her lips as she responded to his questions. "It's good to see you again Dean."

He frowned back, "Ruby?" He asked, before looking to his brother. "Is that Ruby?"

The younger man couldn't respond. The shock that he'd been found out, made him mute. He couldn't explain his way out of the lies he'd told so it was best he just didn't say anything.

Dean looked at the only female in the room, to find her smile fading. He paused, considering his next move and then he pounced, grabbing a hold of her and shoving her up against the nearest wall. He pulled out the knife that's blade was etched with symbols – her knife – and was about to strike when Sam grabbed his hand.

"Don't!" He called out, tussling for the weapon, that he managed to take from him as Dean threw him against another wall. But Ruby grabbed him and held him against the wall she'd been pinned to seconds earlier. "Ruby! Stop it!"

She hesitated, staring into the eyes of the man who'd attacked her first, keeping her chokehold on him with her right hand. Dean stared back, with revulsion, his anger emulated in his expression. Then she released him, allowing him to stand upright.

He looked to Sam and then back, "Well, aren't you an obedient little bitch?"

"Ruby." His brother broke the silence that followed. She pulled her eyes from him and looked at Sam. "Ruby, he's hurt." He said indicating to the man he'd pulled the demon out of. "Go."  
She gave a final look to Dean before walking over to the man, placing his arm over her shoulder, and starting toward the exit.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" He asked.

"The ER… unless you want to go another round first." She offered. But he remained quiet so she continued to walk out.

When his brother directed his eyes back to him, Sam felt obliged to fill the awkward silence by attempting an apology. "Dean." He said, but he didn't wait to hear what he had to say. He walked to the door he'd entered through and left. "Dean!"

= X =

Christina grabbed her cell phone as her tone started to sound throughout the apartment. She'd just got DJ down for the night and didn't want him disturbed so she slid it open and put it up to her ear before she had a chance to check the I.D. of the caller, "Hello?"

"Hey CJ."

She frowned, "Dean?"

"Yeah. Uh… I'm sorry for calling so late, but I needed to talk to someone."

Christina sensed the strain in his voice and the tension created by their last encounter was immediately forgotten. "No, it's OK. What's wrong?"

"I uh…" He inhaled deeply. "I just caught Sam with Ruby."

"Ruby?" She asked deciding it was best not to reveal she'd known about her all along.

"Yeah, he was pulling a demon out of some guy with his psychic mojo."

"What?" She asked in shock as she settled down on the couch.

"I don't know what's going on with him lately. He's secretive, he's lying to me… it's like I don't know him anymore."

She frowned, "What's he lied about?" She asked curiously, wondering if he'd ever brought up anything to do with her.

"Well, Ruby for one. He told me she was dead."

"Maybe it was just easier to let you think she was." She suggested, knowing that had been her reason for not telling him.

"Honestly, I don't really care why he didn't tell me about Ruby." He confessed. "But I asked him straight out about his E.S.P stuff CJ and he looked me in my face and flat out lied about using it."

She sighed, not sure what she could say to help, "What did he say when you found him?"

"I didn't give him much of a chance to say anything. I'm just so mad at him that I can't think straight."

"Listen to me, I know that he shouldn't have lied to you, but he is still your brother and that's got to count for something Dean. You went to Hell in order to bring him back, and I know you're hurt that he kept stuff from you, but you can't let it come between you. Whatever Lilith has in mind for both of you will only work if you're distanced. So put it right, and do it before she has a chance to strike."

= X =

Sam was sat at the dining table in the hotel room with a book when he heard the Impala pull up outside. He wasn't really reading because none of the information was going in – still – he sat there anticipating the return of his big brother. His eyes moved directly to the door as Dean walked in, and he got up to his feet, but he avoided eye contact as he grabbed his bag and started to collect his stuff.

Sam walked over to him, "Dean, what are you doing?" He asked, but his brother ignored him as he continued to pack. "What, are you, are you leaving?"

"You don't need me. You and Ruby go fight demons." He retaliated harshly grabbing his bag and heading for the door.

But Sam stood in his path, forcing him to move around him. "Hold on. Dean, come on, man." He protested against his apparent decision. Before he knew it, Dean turned and punched him in the mouth with his strongest hand. The force of the connection sent Sam 90 from his original position, but he quickly composed himself, looking back at his brother. "You satisfied?" He asked, to which Dean hit him again and threw his bag to the floor. He touched his lip to find he was bleeding. "I guess not."

His brother squinted at him. "Do you even know how far off the reservation you've gone? How far from normal? From human?"

"I'm just exorcising demons."

Dean was furious, "With your mind!" He exclaimed, before instantly regaining self-control. "What else can you do?"

"I can send them back to Hell. It only works with demons, and that's it."

Dean grabbed a hold of him by the lapel of his shirt and pushed him backward forcing Sam to move with him, "What else can you do?"

"I told you." He yelled back, pushing his hands away as they reached a standstill.

"And I have every reason in the world to believe that." He replied turning his back and stepping away.

"Look, I should have said something." Sam said causing his brother to pause. "I'm sorry Dean, I am. But try to see the other side here."

He turned to face him with thunder reflected in his eyes, "The other side?"

"I'm pulling demons out of innocent people."

"Use the knife!"

"The knife kills the victim! What I do, most of them survive! Look, I've saved more people in the last five months than we save in a year."

"That what Ruby want you to think? Huh? Kind of like the way she tricked you into using your powers?" Dean asked, shaking his head with disappointment. "Slippery slope brother, just wait and see, because it's gonna get darker and darker and God knows where it ends."

"I'm not gonna let it go too far." He insisted.

Dean smiled at his defence as he walked over to the wall and swung at the lamp on the side table, sending it crashing to the floor. His ferocity flared up again, "It's already gone too far Sam. If I didn't know you… I would wanna hunt you." The youngest Winchester took on board his brother's comment and nodded as he broke eye contact. "And so would other hunters."

He looked back at him with tears in his eyes, "You were gone. I was here. I had to keep on fighting without you, and what I'm doing… it works."

"Well, tell me. If it's so terrific… then why'd you lie about it to me?" He asked causing Sam to drop his eyes to the floor. "Why did an angel tell me to stop you?"

He looked back up, surprise evident on his face, "What?"

"Cas said that if I don't stop you, he will." He got right up close to the man he was confronting. "See what that means, Sam? That means that God doesn't want you doing this. So, are you just gonna stand there and tell me everything is all good?"

The two of them exchanged glances, Dean was fuelled with anger and Sam was overcome with guilt. He knew his brother was right; there was a reason he'd kept his recent activity quiet but he truly felt like he was doing more good than harm. He was saving people exorcising demons like he was and he wasn't about to apologise for it.

Suddenly the silence in the room was interrupted by Sam's cell phone ringing, so he moved to answer it. "Hello?" He asked pinching the bridge of his nose in a bid to collect his equanimity. "Hey Travis. Yeah, hey… uh… it's good to hear your voice too, yeah. Um, look, it's not really a good time right now. It's… yeah, OK. Uh, well, just give me the details and uh… Carthage, Missouri." Dean heard catching only one side of the conversation. He watched his brother walk to the hotel stationary on the bedside and jot something down. "Looking for Jack Montgomery." He repeated putting down the pen and ending the call.

= X =

The boys had been travelling in silence since they'd left the hotel. The silence was deafening, neither of them knew how to put things right – or if it could be. But his conversation with Christina echoed in Dean's mind, _whatever Lilith has in mind for both of you will only work if you're distanced_. Things were strained between them and Dean knew she was right; he had to bridge the gap.

= X =

Christina lay in bed trying to sleep, but failed. She'd been on edge, tossing and turning since she'd decided to get an early night. Her phone call with Dean had been at the forefront of her mind since she'd hung up. She hated it when the brothers fought because they'd always been so close, and she had seen glimpses of the future – making sure it didn't happen depended on them being strong, like a unit – and any conflict between them would only do more harm than good. Of course, the small fragments she saw didn't give her much to go on – but she felt the pain of lost hope when she'd seen the Winchesters. They had been torn apart and she didn't know why or how, but she'd bet it had everything to do with Ruby, especially knowing how each of the brothers felt about her. Her own opinion wasn't exactly a secret – to Sam or Dean – however, she realised that maybe she needed to do more to ensure the men she considered family remained that way.

= X =

"I can't believe it. Mom, a hunter?" Sam said after hearing Dean's story of going back to 1973 and seeing their parents before they were married.

"I wouldn't have believed it either if I hadn't seen it myself." Dean confessed as he continued to drive toward their destination. "That woman could kick some ass. I mean, she almost took me down."

"How'd she look? I mean… was she happy?"

"Yeah, she was awesome. Funny and smart, so hopeful." He replied looking at him for a moment and then at the road again. "Dad too, until of course…" He heard his brother sigh. "What?"

Sam looked out of his window, "Nothing." He watched the night flashing by for a minute before turning back to his older sibling. "It's just, our parents and now we find out our grandparents too? Our whole family murdered and for what? So Yellow Eyes could get in my nursery and bleed in my mouth?"

Dean hesitated, thinking over everything he'd told him about his trip to the past, "Sam, I never said anything about demon blood." He said glancing at him to find a look of guilt plastered on his face. "You knew about that?"

Sam couldn't bring himself to look at him, "Yeah, for about a year."

He looked back to the road and raised his eyebrows, "A whole year?" He asked rhetorically in a sarcastic tone.

"I should have told you. I'm sorry."

"You've been saying that a lot lately Sam. But, whatever, you don't want to tell me, you don't have to. It's fine."

"Dean." He said finding him with his eyes. But he was unresponsive as he kept his focus on the road. "Whatever." Sam sighed.

The silence filled the car, the tension was ripe but they still had a while to go before they reached Missouri and Dean still had one more thing he had been dying to bring up. Seeing as his brother was in a confessional mood he was going to push the Christina issue again, "Why didn't you stick around with CJ when I…" He cleared his throat, struggling with the last word of his question, "…died."

He frowned back, "I did. I stayed with her for six weeks to make sure she was OK with DJ before I took off."

"She told me she hadn't seen you since I got ganked." He informed him. "Why would she lie to me?"

Sam couldn't look his brother in the eye as he replied with a shrug of his shoulders.

The frown stayed on Dean's face, "What happened Sam? And before you tell me I'm imagining it, I know you're hiding something. So tell me…" He paused. "Did something happen between you two?"

He knew he'd have to confess now because his brother wasn't about to let it go when he was so close to finding out, "Almost." He sighed.

"Almost?" He repeated, his eyes bulging out of their sockets, "What, almost?"

He turned in his seat, "Alright, before you freak out, nothing happened. She stopped it."

His eyes opened wider, "What did she stop Sam?"

"It was just a kiss."

"_Just_ a kiss?" He repeated.

"We'd just lost you Dean, and… as soon as it happened, we both knew it was a mistake."


	11. Chapter 11

**TEN**

Dean made his way back to Bobby's still chomping at the bit over what his brother had told him a few days before. The time it had taken dealing with Jack Montgomery hadn't resulted in cooling him off at all, he was still furious and – now they were back in South Dakota – he could have it out with her.

He pulled the Impala to a stop at the end of the drive leading to the Salvage Yard and looked over at his brother, "Get out." He ordered.

Sam frowned, "Why? Where you going?"

"Get out of the car." He repeated.

He rolled his eyes, "Dean…"

His patience grew thin in an instant, "Out Sam, now."

With a heavy sigh, the younger of the two men did as he was told and climbed out onto the loose gravel of the drive before watching Dean pull off, leaving him at the side of the road.

He watched the car disappear out of view knowing exactly where he was headed. Without thinking, he took his phone from his pocket and dialled her number as he made his way toward the house. But she didn't answer; it just rang a few times and then cut to her answer phone, so he hung up.

= X =

Christina laughed at a joke Danny had cracked and didn't hear her phone vibrating on the table. In her time away from the Winchesters, she'd allowed herself to get to know him and had come to find he was very likeable. She enjoyed spending time with him and looked forward to his daily visits for a coffee and a chat – even DJ liked having him around. But she was trying not to get too attached because one – she was still in love with Dean, two – she didn't know if there was room in her life for romance if her heart wasn't in it from the start, and finally – Dean wasn't going to approve.

"You and my brother!" She heard Dean's accusation as he walked into her apartment uninvited.

"That didn't take you long." She muttered under her breath, stopping her conversation and getting to her feet. "Danny, this is Dean. Dean, Danny." She introduced them.

Dean forced a fake smile to the man and immediately turned his attention back to her, "So?"

"Keep your voice down, DJ's sleeping."

"Then you better start explaining."

She sighed, a little embarrassed that his outburst had come while she had this particular visitor, "Nothing happened."

"Oh, nothing happened?" He repeated sarcastically. "So you didn't kiss my brother?"

Her guest coughed, "I should go, let you two talk."

Christina nodded; she was wondering how long it would be before he made his escape. "Alright Danny."

But Dean turned to address him, "No, stay. You should hear this, especially if you've got a brother because she might go after him next."

"Alright Dean, that's enough." She snapped.

"You think that qualifies as enough? Because I haven't even started yet." He spat back.

"You going to be OK?" Danny asked concerned for her safety.

"I can handle Dean." She nodded to assure him.

Dean barely blinked as the stranger walked past him and out the door; his attention was firmly fixed on Christina.

"Look, it's not a big deal unless you make it a big deal."

He stepped closer to her, disbelieving his ears, "Not a big deal? He's my brother!"

"You think I don't know that? My God Dean, you're blowing it all out of proportion, it was just a kiss. We stopped before it went any further."

"Do you think that makes a difference? You shouldn't be kissing him at all."

"I know, but we were both devastated. We were looking for something to fill the gaping hole, and for a split second we thought it was each other. Only we had the good sense to realise we were just feeding off our grief."

"Do you think that makes it better?"

His total disregard to acknowledge her feelings made her instantly angry, "What the hell do you care what we did anyway? I mean nothing to you."

"Is that what it was about? You were trying to get back at me?"

"No, of course not. This happened _before _you broke my heart."

Dean rolled his eyes, "Don't try and turn this around on me."

She exhaled heavily, "It was just a frigging kiss; we didn't get married."

"It doesn't matter what it was, you and he thought about doing the nasty." He said knowing he wasn't blowing things out of proportion like she thought he was.

"I know it was wrong, but neither of us were thinking straight."

"Do you think I give a damn about your excuses? He's my brother and you're…" He stopped, unable to find a word to finish his sentence.

"I'm what Dean? The girl who gave you her virginity, that sacrificed her heart and that you loved once? What Dean? What am I to you?"

They were all valid questions, but none of them were close to her importance. His voice was soft when he spoke again. "You're the mother of my son and there's just some lines you don't cross – making out with family is one of them."

"What do you want me to do? I can't take it back. It happened – months ago – and it's over. We don't want each other, we never did and if we could rewind time we'd make it so it didn't happen." She sighed, "For Christ sake Dean, I wouldn't sleep with your brother. He's family, it'd practically be incest."

He processed the image and screwed up his face, "I suppose when you put it like that…"

That's when he came to the conclusion he was fighting a losing battle. She didn't see the severity of what she'd done and he wasn't going to get her to realise it. Even if he talked until he was blue in the face, she still wouldn't understand the betrayal he felt.

Suddenly her voice broke his thoughts, "Thanks though, for bringing it up in front of Danny. I'm going to have a lot of fun explaining that next time I see him." She said collecting the cups off the coffee table and taking them to the kitchen.

Dean rolled his eyes. He didn't know Danny and he already hated how much she talked about him – despite her only mentioning him once. He had to get rid of him and, seeing his opportunity to start putting his project into practise, he voiced his concerns. "How sure are you about this guy?" He called out to her.

She returned to the room, immediately on the defensive, "What's it got to do with you?"

"Well, I come in here shouting the odds and he runs out of here like his ass is on fire, is that really the kind of guy you want to be with?"

"Oh, you're over-exaggerating. He hardly ran out of here."

"He sure as hell didn't stick around."

"We're not even dating properly yet and you're going to hold it against him that he didn't defend my honour? That's comical, honestly." She said expecting a response but not getting one. Dean just stared back at her.

"You two haven't… yet?" He asked with raised eyebrows, censoring himself instinctively.

Her mouth dropped open momentarily, "I'm not discussing my sex life with you."

He smiled playfully, "Because you haven't got one."

She rolled her eyes, "Bottom line, I can fight my own battles."

He thumbed over his shoulder, "He doesn't know that."

"Oh my God." She exclaimed. "You just can't help yourself can you?"

"What?"

"I see what you're trying to do Dean and it's not going to work. You made your feelings quite clear, so you can't try to stop me moving on."

"I know, but with this guy? Seriously."

"Yes Dean, with this guy. You don't have to like it. You don't have to be his best friend. But you're not going to stop me seeing him."

= X =

"Dean." He heard his name from behind him as he reached the external door of the apartment building on his attempt to leave.

He turned around and came face to face with the new guy in Christina's life, "Danny."

He'd left the apartment to allow the two of them to talk but he wanted to speak to Dean, so he'd decided to wait in the lobby to catch him on his way out.

"I know you and CJ have history, and you're DJ's father, but I'd appreciate it if you didn't talk to her like that anymore. I don't like it."

Dean smiled, finding amusement in his attempt to face off against him, "I realise you're new to this, but we've known each other a long time, and she's the only one that'll tell me how I should talk to her."

Danny took a step closer to him, "Well, I'm telling you; show her some respect. She's the mother of your child."

"I don't expect you to understand the dynamics of our relationship – I doubt you're going to be around long enough to figure it out – but it works for us. So next time you try and threaten me, you should remember that if it comes to a choice between us, she will choose me _every_ time."

"And you love having that hold on her don't you Dean? Why can't you just be a father and leave her alone?"

"Because we're family. And I don't expect you to comprehend what that means to people like us, but you should get used to having me around."

Danny stepped even closer to him, "I'm not scared of you."

"All that proves is that you don't know enough about me. But stick around pal and you'll learn soon enough." He said turning his back to the man and walking out to the street.

= X =

Sam paced. His brother had been gone a while and if he knew Christina, he knew she wasn't going to take what Dean was about to throw at her without hitting back. And he feared that it would end in a fight – an actual guns drawn at dawn dual, which of course would result in them both getting hurt. So he was somewhat relieved when Dean walked through Bobby's back door unscathed.

"Please tell me that you two didn't throw any punches." He prayed.

Dean scrunched up his face, as though the suggestion had been ridiculous. "I'm not going to hit a girl Sam. Besides, that guy was there."

"Danny?"

"Yeah."

"So, because you over-reacted, you might have screwed up that relationship."

"They're not even that serious. He hasn't sealed the deal yet."

"Not all guys are you Dean."

"You've seen CJ right, she's a knockout?" He asked before seeing an opportunity to get in a dig. "What am I talking about; of course you have, because you tried to sleep with her."

Sam rolled his eyes, "Dean."

"My point is, she's hot and if he hasn't tried to get her in the sack yet, there's gotta be something wrong with the guy."

"Maybe she just wants to be sure before she jumps into bed with him."

"And maybe he's not right for her."

"Oh I see, you don't want her but you don't want anyone else to have her."

"That's not it at all. There's just something about this guy that I don't like."

"You don't like your ex's new boyfriend, really? Because that's not normal." He said sarcastically.

"What do we know about this guy? How much does Bobby know? Who is he? Where did he come from? And why is he sniffing around now all of a sudden?"

"He just moved back to town."

"How do we know that? What if he's got an angle he's working and that's the only reason he's interested in CJ?"

Sam frowned. His brother was clutching at straws. "What could he be after?"

"I don't know. But it could be something. We don't know this guy and I'm not going to trust him just because he gives people the warm and fuzzy."

He could see exactly what Dean was doing. He was trying to find a fault with the new guy in Christina's life as an excuse to stop their relationship to save his own feelings, but he knew he was setting himself up for a fall. But something told him it wouldn't matter who it was; he was not letting her go without a fight – even though it had been his choice to walk away.

He got to his feet and grabbed his jacket, "I'm going out."

"Where?"

"Out. I can't talk to you when you're like this."

"Like what?"

"Single-minded." He answered. He took a deep breath. "Dean, you don't like Danny because he's a threat to you, even though you're the one who decided it was over. You hate that he makes her happy and you don't want to admit that you're still in love with her, although why is beyond me."

"Shut up Sam."

"No, you've been making me shut up my whole life when it's something you don't want to hear, but not this time. You want to be with CJ, it's just took Danny to come along for you to realise that. So why don't you just man up and tell her before she gets too attached to the guy?"

"Because Sam…" He blurted out forgetting his need to keep up his façade, "…you said it yourself; she's completely given up on me."

"It's not too late, yet."

He shook his head, "I can't tell her."

"Why not?"

He smiled, "You know how I hate to admit I'm wrong."

"But wouldn't you rather be happy than proud?" He asked walking out, leaving Dean with his thoughts.

_New Harmony, Indiana – May 30, 2008_

Christina sat in her hospital bed feeling helpless. Everyone told her she needed to rest but she didn't want to sleep anymore, she already felt like she'd slept too much time away. Dean was dead and she had to find a way to bring him back. She couldn't waste anymore time because the longer he was in Hell, the more likely it would be that the Dean they knew wouldn't be the guy who came back. It was that thought that had been driving her since she'd woken from her coma the day before. She had so many questions about how it had been possible for her to survive the torture she'd endured, but her answers would have to wait because getting DJ his father back was her top priority.

As she sat watching the rain outside hit the window and cascade down the glass, her memories took her back to the shower they'd shared after he'd told her he loved her for the first time and an instant calm ripped throughout her insides.

_Dean brushed the back of his masculine hand across her cheek, looking beyond her eyes to her soul. He felt completely vulnerable by his admission of feelings but he knew she did too. Her guard had been let down because he'd finally surrendered the fight to love her back._

_Her stomach was in knots as he leaned forward to kiss her. She always felt consumed by her love for him and she never tired of the butterflies of anticipation that she got whenever he touched her._

_She allowed his mouth to explore hers as his hands blindly travelled her body and she gasped contently as he eased her as close as her pregnancy would permit._

_He removed his lips from hers, "I love you." He whispered._

_She smiled, "I will never get sick of hearing you say that." She countered in the same hush tone._

_Shifting, he placed his mouth close to her ear, "I love you." _

_She closed her eyes as his breath brushed her neck, "Say it again."_

"_I love you."_

"CJ." Sam said speaking softly as he walked inside her room.

Bobby had taken DJ back to the hotel to bath and feed him, leaving him at the hospital with Christina. He knew the two of them were suppressing their grief over Dean and he thought that talking to each other would do them good.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked drawing her attention back to her surrounding.

She wiped a tear from her cheek and sniffed back the one's that were building as another memory sprung to mind, "When I was 16, I couldn't aim a gun to save my life. I'd been trained exactly the same but I just couldn't get it. I remember Dean would deliberately aim off target to make me look better than I was but John wasn't fooled. He'd get so mad at me because he thought I wasn't concentrating or taking it serious enough."

Sam smiled, "He was pretty regimented when it came to that stuff."

But she didn't seem to hear him as she continued, "For a week Dean trained me once everyone went to bed just so he wouldn't shout at me and by about the sixth night, I had it. John praised me so much the next day, but Dean never told him how I'd got so good so fast, he'd just give me a smile when no one was looking." She finished looking over at him, unable to contain her emotions any longer, "I already miss him so much."

Sadness immediately masked Sam's features as he moved closer and perched on the hospital bed beside her, "I know."

"DJ's all I've got left of him now."

"And this." He said opening his hand to reveal the amulet his brother had worn since the day he'd gifted it to him.

"No Sam, I can't take that." She said with a shake of her head.

"I think you should have it." He said placing it in her hand.

She stared at it for a long time before she grabbed his hand and dropped it into his palm, "He'd want you to have it. He left me something much more valuable." She spoke of their son. But suddenly, she burst into tears. "I let him down."

He reached out to comfort her, "Hey, no you didn't. You did everything you could."

"Everything I could would've kept him here with us." She sobbed into his chest.

"He wouldn't have wanted you dead CJ."

_Christina's Apartment, South Dakota – Present Day_

Christina smiled as she answered her front door and saw Sam waiting the other side. "Hey Sam." She greeted him, silently inviting him in as she made her way to the lounge. "What brings you here?"

"I haven't seen you for a couple of days so I thought I'd drop in and see how you were doing." He replied.

"What you mean is, you know Dean stopped by and you wanted to make sure I had no bruises."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I tried to warn you but you didn't answer your phone."

"It's OK Sam, I knew he'd find out eventually. Although I did think it'd be me telling him, not you."

"He caught me off guard." He shrugged.

"Hey, it's OK, I'm OK. I can handle Dean."

"So, what you doing?"

"Just doing some cleaning, you can help if you want." She joked.

"Honestly, I'm not sure I'd know how."

He watched her bend at her knees to lower to the floor in order to pick up some of DJ's toys and an inquisitive frown made it's way to his features.

The tattoo at the base of her spine immediately got his attention – the one she'd described to Bobby as a mere squiggle – and he instantly recognised it's symbolism. There may have been a lot of fancy lines to disguise it from the untrained eye, but he could see plainly that it was his brother's initial.

He smiled as she continued to tidy up, "Nice tattoo." He commented letting her know he'd seen it.

She automatically grabbed the bottom of her shirt and pulled it down to hide it. "That was just a rebellious thing. I forget it's there half the time."

"What is it?" He asked to see if she'd tell him.

She got to her feet and turned to him with a deep sigh, "You're not stupid Sam, you know what it is."

He raised his eyebrows and nodded, "How long have you had it?"

"Too long. It feels like a monkey on my back, but I can't bring myself to get it removed."

= X =

"So, Dean found out about Ruby." She stated as she and Sam sat drinking a coffee together.

He sighed, hardly surprised that she knew, "When did he tell you?"

"As soon as it happened. He was going out of his mind about it. He said he caught you using your mind to exorcise demons." She stated in an enquiring tone, not really asking a question but expecting an answer.

"What did you think you saw back at the motel the night Dean got back?"

"I didn't really know. You didn't exactly explain it. I had no idea you were exorcising demons with your damn mind."

"I save people that way."

"And what about you Sam, who's going to save you when it gets out of hand?"

"It won't." He sighed, tired of everyone's lack of faith in him.

She laughed, "I like how sure you are about that."

"I could do without another lecture about what a let down I am, I get enough of that from Dean."

"Well tough Sam. The lectures will stop when you start listening – and don't for one minute think I should understand, because what's going on with me is completely different to what's going on with you. My visions happen to me, you actually go out of your way to force yours. And don't guilt trip me either. You're not a let down. I just thought you had better judgment than to trust a demon."

He rolled his eyes. "Oh here we go, more Ruby bashing."

"Yes Sam, _more _Ruby bashing. But do you blame us? Look what she's got you doing."

"She didn't _make _me do anything."

"No, she had you thinking it was your idea, which is worse." He was quiet, thinking it best to let her get everything out of her system, and his silence resulted in her tone softening. "You already know something's wrong about what you're doing Sam, why else would you hide it?"

"Because I knew you'd all jump to conclusions."

"I refuse to feel guilty for caring about you."

"And I don't want you too; I just wished you could trust that I know what I'm doing."

She shook her head, "Sorry Sam, you never believe a junkie that insists he can control himself around the same people who gave him the drugs in the first place."

"Oh, this is hardly the same thing."

"I don't see the difference. Ruby's given you the tools to do what you do and you're still hanging around with her, how do you think rational comes into the equation? She's just got to encourage you to keep going, and before you know it – it's too late."

"You're missing the big picture here."

"And what is that?"

"I'd get to kill Lilith."

"But is revenge worth your soul?"

He shrugged and his head dropped, "It really doesn't matter, I've told Dean I'm not going to use them anymore."

_Carthage, Missouri – The Day Before_

They were in the Impala driving back to South Dakota in silence. Things hadn't been the same between them since Dean had found Sam with Ruby and that was down to their stubborn trait, which they both got from their father. But that conversation he'd had with Christina still replayed in Dean's head. Lilith was going to win if they were at each other's throats.

"Sam, I wanna tell you I'm sorry. I've been kind of hard on you lately." Dean apologised for his attack on him as he drove the car toward their destination.

Sam lifted his head and looked out of the passengers window, "Don't worry about it Dean." He said, feeling like half the man he was before the case they'd been on. He was downtrodden and couldn't bring himself to force the energy for another fight.

But Dean being Dean wouldn't leave it alone. "It's just that your, uh, your psychic thing, it scares the crap out of me."

"Look, if it's all the same… I'd really rather not talk about it." He responded looking over at his brother.

A smile played on Dean's lips, "Wait a minute. What? You don't want to talk? You?"

Sam didn't respond to the joke he was trying to imply, "There's nothing more to say. I can't keep explaining myself to you. I can't make you understand."

"Why don't you try?" He asked, not wanting a wedge to build between them.

"I can't. Because this thing, this blood, it's not in you the way it's in me. It's just something I've got to deal with."

"Not alone."

Sam sighed and looked back out of the window, allowing silence to fall between them for a few minutes before he spoke. "Anyway, it doesn't matter. These powers… it's playing with fire. I'm done with them." He said causing Dean to look over at him. "I'm done with everything."

"Really?" He replied turning back to the road. "Well, that's a relief. Thank you."

Sam scoffed turning his attention back to his brother, "Don't thank me. I'm not doing it for you, or for the angels or for anybody. This is my choice."

_Christina's Apartment, South Dakota – Present Day_

"And do you mean it?" She asked not meaning to be cruel, but she was still angry that he'd found time to spend with Ruby since leaving in June and yet he hadn't been able to pick up the phone to her once.

His eyes shot up to hers, "Of course I do." He replied resenting the implication that he was lying.

"Sorry Sam, but with what's been going on lately, I needed to ask."

"You shouldn't need to." He stated with sadness in his voice.

"Maybe. But you're not the same Sam that left me nearly 4 months ago."

He was nasty when he retaliated. He really thought that if anyone would understand, it would be Christina. But she was just as judgmental as Dean. "Yeah, seeing your brother ripped apart before your eyes will do that to you, it's got nothing to do with Ruby."

"I guess we'll have to agree to disagree because I think it has everything to do with her."

He sighed, knowing the matter was never going to be resolved, they had completely conflicting views. "Are we done fighting yet?"

"You think this is fighting?" She asked rhetorically as a laugh bellowed out of her mouth. "This is just a drop in the ocean, and I'm being nice."

"Then remind me not to get on the wrong side of you."

She smiled. "I care Sammy. But don't ever confuse sentiment for weakness, if I had to – I would kill you in order to save you."

He held on to her stare for the longest time. He knew everything she had said were things he needed to hear and he loved her for it, as much as he didn't want to hear them. He got to his feet and stepped toward her, motioning for her to stand up. With a smile, she climbed off the couch and allowed his strong arms to surround her.

"I love you too." He said giving her an affectionate hug before pulling away. "But you ever call me Sammy again, and I'll be the one doing the killing."

= X =

Dean checked the clock. He knew exactly where Sam had run off to, it seemed her took every opportunity to drop in on her and he didn't like it. They'd gotten a lot closer in his absence, which was to be expected, but to find out something had almost developed between them made him angry. He'd never seen Christina as a possession, but they had been intimate so he thought it was understood that she was off limits to his brother. Yet it seemed that Sam had seen his death as a green light to step beyond the boundary and that – coupled with finding out he'd lied to him about Ruby and using his extra sensory power – was the ultimate betrayal. But he had to fight to see past it if they were going to stay strong enough to win against Lilith. Once she was out of the way, he could deal with his other issues.

_Jamestown, North Dakota – Present Day_

He walked out of the bar and lit up a cigarette, this had been another dead end. He'd been searching for her for a little over a year and still he hadn't found her. He'd gotten a few leads but the trails always ended up growing cold and he was no closer to finding her than he had been fourteen months ago. The truth was; he didn't have much to go on. He knew nothing about her family – she kept that a secret. The only thing he really knew was that her father had brought her up alone, and that she called him every few days to let him know she was all right, but the two had never been introduced. She kept all information about her childhood close to her chest, so he had no leads on where she considered her home to be, and she had just disappeared in the night so he didn't know for sure that she was still alive. Another thing he had to go on were the brother's that she talked non-stop about, the one's she'd grown up with. Their names were burned into his skull – Sam and Dean. He would never forget the look on her face whenever she talked about the oldest one. It made him jealous because he knew she'd never look at him that way. It was obvious that she loved Dean more than she could ever bring herself to love someone else, but he loved her and as much as he'd tried, he couldn't get over her. He carried her picture around with him, visiting every town in every state just praying someone recognised her but as of yet had turned up nothing.

South Dakota was the next state on his map; maybe someone would know her there. Every state held out new hope but he only had a few left before he was forced to give up the search. The world was a big place and, if she'd left America, he would never find her – maybe that would mean she didn't want to be found.

_Christina's Apartment, South Dakota – Later That Night_

Finally finished with the cleaning, Christina dropped down on the couch with an exhausted sigh and flicked on the TV using the remote.

Sam had taken DJ back to Bobby's so he and Dean could spend some time with him because they'd been out of state for a few days.

She hated knowing her son wasn't there, but welcomed the break. Being a single parent for so long without any support from Sam or her father had been difficult and now it was time to benefit from the fact his father was back and wanted access. As much as it killed her to not be in the background while Dean had visitation, she understood it was important for both of them to have that time away from her to allow them to build a bond. So she'd taken full advantage of her spare time and had given her apartment a thorough clean – something she hadn't been able to keep on top of since her son had been born. But now she sat down, the silence was deafening. She had no one to socialise with other than Danny, and after what he'd heard from Dean earlier she wasn't sure he'd want anything more to do with her.

So when her front door knocked she hesitated before answering it. Approaching the divide, she peered through the peephole and smiled when she saw her new companion waiting the other side.

She pulled open the door, "Hey Danny." She said in a small voice, not sure what response she was going to get.

The corners of his mouth turned up upon laying his eyes on her and revealed his pearl white teeth, "I wasn't sure if Dean was gone yet, but I wanted to come by and check you were OK." Of course he was lying, but he didn't want her to know he'd attempted to threaten her ex. He had no doubt it would reflect bad on him and he didn't want that to stop their friendship developing into more.

She waved him inside as she started to make her way back to the lounge, "I told you, I can handle Dean."

He knocked her front door closed as he followed her, "He was pretty angry."

"He had a right to be, I did kiss his brother."

"Yeah, about that…"

"Not my finest hour, but we were both devastated."

He frowned, "Why? What happened?"

"We'd just lost Dean." She replied, not truly thinking through what she was saying and who to.

"Lost him?"

Suddenly it clicked, "Yeah, he just took off. None of us knew where to find him, we thought he was dead."

"Why would you think he was dead?"

Unable to force her brain into gear for anything that would be convincing, she sighed. "It's a really long story and I've had about all the Dean I can stomach for today. So do you mind if we talk about something else?" She asked, settling back on the couch.

He sat down next to her, "Sure. Where's the little guy?"

"His uncle Sam took him over to my Dad's so he could spend some time with his Dad."

Danny frowned, "Do they live over there?"

"No, no… God no. But when they come to town they stay there, save the motel bill."

"I suppose it's better than the alternative." She frowned, not quite seeing what he was getting at. "Them staying here."

"Oh God, this place is barely big enough for me and DJ, let alone two grown men. Besides, I think Dean and I would wind up killing each other."

He smiled, "You fight a lot?"

"Always. Even before I had DJ."

"Then how did you two ever manage to make a baby?"

A smile of her own danced across her lips, "There was only ever three things we did well together; our job, fighting and sex."

He raised his eyebrows, "Well, I guess I asked."

She laughed and reached out to flirtatiously to touch his arm, "I'm sorry you were in the middle of that today, but as you can tell when Dean's got something to say, he says it no matter who's around."

"Hey, no, it's OK. I was just worried about you."

"Well, if you stick around, I'm pretty sure that won't be the last fight you witness. We get into it a lot lately."

"Why wouldn't I stick around?"

"Oh I dunno, too much drama." She suggested, giving him an excuse to get out if he wanted to.

"Did I tell you I played most of the leading roles on the high school stage?" He didn't wait for her to respond. "I thrive on drama." He leaned toward her. "You don't get rid of me that easy."

Her face softened, "Well, I can live with that. Although, there probably is something else you should know before you commit yourself to me forever." She took a deep breath. "I'm horribly head-strong. If I want to do something, you won't talk me out of it and if I don't want to do something, you won't talk me into it."

"Lucky for you, I like strong women who know their own minds."

"Great, then we shouldn't have a problem."

"There is one thing I'd like to talk to you about."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah… um, where do you stand on kissing?"

"What?"

"Well, I've been wanting to kiss you since the day we had coffee and technically we've hung out every day since, so I was wondering whether it would be terribly inappropriate if I kissed you."

"Oh Danny, I…"

"I know, you're still getting over Dean. But I can't help thinking, kissing me might help."

She smiled. Butterflies started a commotion in her stomach at the prospect of his interest in her. She hadn't had a feeling like that since she'd last slept with Dean, which had been over five months ago, so it was a long time coming. All she ever felt like these days was a Mom, so to actually feel like a woman for even a split second had her basking with confidence.

"I guess we could give it a go." She said, giving him the green light.

Things went still between them for a minute before he made his move, slowly edging his lips toward hers, and she seemed to hold her breathe as he gradually got closer.

"Breathe." He instructed in a whisper causing her to exhale.

His face was inches from hers when she closed her eyes anticipating his touch, and it seemed to take forever for their mouths to gently meet. His lips were soft and his kiss was tender at first, but once he'd established himself in unfamiliar territory – and he felt her relax – he allowed his passion for her to present itself. He pressed his lips more firmly on hers and was reassured when he felt her respond; reaching up to lay her hand on his neck beneath his jaw, drawing him closer.

He was different to his predecessor; he tasted sweeter, smelled slightly more refined and was more attentive. But she couldn't help that her mind went to Dean, remembering the last time he'd kissed her like that. Except when Danny brushed his hand softly across the skin of her neck, moving her hair, it sent a wave of excitement down her spine making her snap back to who she was really with.

As his mouth crashed against hers, she could feel herself getting lost in the heat they created and she gradually pulled away, before it got out of control.

"I got a bit carried away didn't I?" He murmured.

"I wasn't complaining Danny." She smiled so he wouldn't feel bad. "But if we'd have kept that up, you would have wanted it to go further and I'm not ready for that."

"So I haven't ruined us before we've started?"

She leaned forward to apply a brief kiss to his lips, "You haven't ruined a thing."

_Bobby's House, South Dakota – October 11, 2008_

Christina walked in through her father's back door to find all three men awake and no sign of her son. Granted it was 6 a.m. but she hadn't been able to sleep all night without DJ at home, not because she didn't trust Dean with him, but because she wasn't used to being without him. Since he'd been born – and she'd been out of hospital – he hadn't been away from her. So letting Dean have him overnight was going to take some getting used to.

As soon as Sam laid eyes on her, he knew the reason she was there and a rye smile made it's way to his lips. "Let me guess, you were going stir crazy alone, that's why you're here so early."

She smiled in reply, "Is he still in bed?"

Dean didn't look up from the newspaper when he spoke as he searched for a hunt, "Yup."

"How was he last night?"

"Didn't even know we had him."

She checked her watch, "He should be waking up soon."

Sam laughed, "You're dying to go and check on him aren't you?"

"I think I should just go up and make sure he's not awake, sometimes he just lies there playing." She made her excuses before rushing up the stairs.

= X =

"Is he still sleeping?" Bobby asked when his daughter returned to the room empty handed.

"He's not there." She replied, seemingly shell shocked.

Dean looked up from the newspaper he was reading with a frown, "What?"

"He's not there Dean. Where is he?"

"He's gotta be." He said getting up and rushing to the nursery with everyone else close behind. "I put him right… here." He pointed inside the crib and trailed off when he saw no sign of his son. "He was right there."

Christina took a few seconds to process what was happening. "Someone took him?" She asked in a whisper before she instantly lost control. "Someone took my baby?"

Sam tried to calm her down, "We'll find him CJ. He can't have gone far."

"He hasn't just got up and walked out Sam, he's six months old. Someone's been in here and taken him." She said, one short step from hysterical.

"Who's stupid enough to come in here with four hunters downstairs CJ?" Dean asked, thinking aloud.

Christina didn't even need a minute to think about it. "Ruby." She said rushing out of the room.

"Ruby?" Sam repeated bolting after her, "Why would Ruby take him?"

"She's a demon Sam, she doesn't need a reason."

He looked at his brother to reason with her but Dean just stared back. "Hey, I'd like to disagree with her but she's right."

Sam rolled his eyes, "No CJ, Ruby wouldn't take him."

"Why not?" She asked looking for an alternative explanation.

"Because she's a demon." Bobby answered making his way through the three of them and down the stairs.

= X =

"Ruby wouldn't have been able to take him." Bobby rationalised as Sam and Christina followed him into the library, leaving Dean upstairs. "He'd have protected himself against her if she'd have tried."

"Then who took him Dad?" She countered knowing he was right.

He took a book from his desk and held it up, "That's exactly what I'm going to try and find out." He replied, leaving the room.

"He's going to be OK CJ." Sam tried to assure her as they were left alone.

"How can you know that?" She asked with tears in her eyes.

"He's got the power to protect himself. He'll use what he's got." He said reaching out to lay his hand on her shoulder in support.

"Then why didn't he use it against whoever took him?"

"Maybe whoever it was doesn't pose a threat."

She looked up at him, hopeful, "If you're trying to calm me down, you're doing a terrible job."

"But I am trying." He smiled hoping it'd have the same affect on her.

It didn't. Instead she burst into tears. "If something happens to him…" She started and he pulled her into a hug.

She'd barely got comfortable in his arms when Dean walked in, instantly noticing their embrace, "You two look cosy."

Christina pushed herself away from Sam at the sound of his voice and dried her eyes as a wash of guilt overcame her, amidst her distress.

"She's upset." Sam explained as though he had to.

"So am I. You going to feel me up too?"

His brother rolled his eyes, "Dean…"

"What? You tried it on before, so why not now?"

Sam opened his mouth to speak but Christina held up her finger to silence him, "Don't you dare explain yourself." She warned before walking over to the eldest brother and hitting him hard around the face. "Our son is missing, try and focus on that instead of point scoring." She said leaving the room.

= _A While Later _=

Christina sat with her head in her hands on the couch; distraught and unable to focus while Bobby, Dean and Sam checked every book in her fathers collection for a lead on what had happened to DJ.

Suddenly she threw herself back, "Today's my son's six month birthday and I have no idea where he is." She sighed.

Sam looked up from his book, doing a double take, "Wait, what? When is he six months old?"

"Today."

"Six months exactly?" Dean asked seeing where his brother was going with his line of questioning.

"Yeah, today's the 11th." She replied with a frown. "Why is that important?"

"It could be nothing…"

"But it might be everything." Sam countered.

"One of you better tell me what you're thinking or I swear to God…" She started but the youngest man stopped her finishing her threat.

"When I was six months old, six months exactly, Azazel came into my nursery and bled into my mouth." He explained.

"What's that got to do with DJ?"

"Maybe nothing, but…" He threw a look to his brother.

"He is a Winchester." Dean finished.

"Well, whatever it is – everything stops until we get him back, everything." Christina told all the men of her life, saying the very same thing Dean had said when Azazel had taken their father.


	12. Chapter 12

**ELEVEN**

Christina sat on her father's porch looking out over the scrap cars going out of her mind. She'd been repeating the prayers she said in her head that he'd be OK until he was back where he rightfully belonged, but it wasn't helping. Whoever had taken her son could be miles out of the State by now seeing as no one had a clue when he'd been taken and they had no way of knowing who kidnapped DJ – or why. But she couldn't lose hope that they'd get him back because it was all she had left, if she gave up hoping they'd find him, he might as well be dead.

She knew that blaming Dean wasn't going to get her son back, only he had been in his father's care when he'd been taken so she couldn't help but lay the blame with him, just a little. That's why she'd decided to sit outside. She couldn't look at him without feeling angry – fuelled by the comment he'd made earlier referring to what had happened between her and Sam – so it was best that she kept her distance from him.

As she sat mulling over her next move, she heard the door behind her open and close. She wasn't alone anymore, but she didn't turn to see who it was.

"Hey." She heard him before she saw him.

She closed her eyes anticipating the fight that was sure to follow, but she didn't have the energy for it. "What do you want Dean?" She sighed, rubbing her brow.

He'd been sat inside regretting his pop at them over what had happened between her and Sam after he'd gone to Hell. She'd been right; he should've been concentrating on finding out who was responsible for kidnapping their son and not scoring points.

"I'm sorry." He said settling on the top step next to her.

"You know what? I don't need an apology. Just get our son back."

He nodded. He had no idea what it was like for her, being a mother was a lot different to being a father. Having carried him for nine months, her bond with DJ was fully blossomed by the time he was born, whereas his had to be worked on. He'd been all she had for so long, he'd been the only one that had seen her through the tough times once he'd gone, and she was broken without him. He gave her a purpose and somehow Dean had to put it right. It was his responsibility to protect his family, and so far he was failing.

Christina barely blinked as he stood up and he knew that was because she blamed him. Yet, at the same time, she was depending on him to get DJ back. She was too emotionally distraught to be any kind of productive help and he knew that she was probably wracking her brain to think of reasons why he'd been taken when the most obvious one was standing beside her.

"I'll get him back CJ." He tried to assure her.

But his words didn't mean much to her, "You better Dean because if you don't, being ripped apart by a Hellhound will seem like a spa compared to what I'll do to you."

He had no response to her threat because he was sure it wasn't an idle one, and he deserved no less. He felt sick with anger – at himself. His son had been taken from under his nose and he had no idea where to start looking for him. He knew his bond with DJ wasn't as strong as Christina's – how could it be when he hadn't been around for most of his life? – but that didn't stop him hurting like she was, except his pain was overshadowed by guilt.

He took one more look down on her before he made his way back inside, there was no more he could say to make her feel any better, all he could do now was keep his promise and bring DJ back to her safe and sound.

= X =

Bobby looked up as Dean walked back inside the room. "How is she?" He enquired after his daughter.

He rubbed his brow, "She hates me – and I don't blame her."

"She's just worried. Don't take it personal."

"There's no other way for me to take it Bobby, I let him get taken from her."

"It's not like you invited them in. You weren't to know."

"She would've."

Bobby shook his head, "I'm not so sure. Anything that can get passed the devil's traps inside this house, doesn't want to be heard."

"That's not exactly an excuse."

"Really? Do you think CJ would've been able to stop them anymore than you could?"

"That's hardly the point here Bobby. For six months she's protected him with her life, then I have him one night and he gets kidnapped? I mean, what are the odds?"

"I wish I could ease your guilt boy, but until we get him back nothing is going to do it."

Dean sighed and looked down at the book he was reading from the other side of his desk, "You got anything yet?"

The older man sighed and sat back in his seat, "Nothing. Whoever this was wasn't a demon and that doesn't leave a lot of options."

"We should go to the police." Christina said from the doorway, having heard her father's last sentence.

Dean frowned at her, "The police?"

"Maybe it's just a straightforward kidnapping."

"And if it is what do you expect the police to do? They can barely find a pistol in a gun factory and you want them out looking for our son?"

"At least they'd be doing something!" She snapped.

"We're doing something."

She sighed, "I know you don't hold much stock in the authorities Dean, but anything is better than waiting for him to show up dead."

He watched the tears form in her eyes and his heart ached for her. Her world had been shattered by DJ's disappearance and all he'd been doing was looking in books to find him. He quickly made a move toward her and offered her the comfort of his arms as she broke down.

"I can't just wait around Dean." She cried into his chest.

"Alright, as soon as Sam gets back, we'll all go out looking." He said in his softest compassionate tone.

= X =

"Do you know who took him?" Sam asked Ruby as they stood in the middle of the parking lot.

He hadn't seen her since he'd promised Dean he'd stop using his power and she didn't like it. But, truth was, if it weren't for DJ's kidnapping, he wouldn't have called her. He had to find out if she had any information about what had happened to him. But he was losing his patience with her. He'd been questioning her and so far she'd been acting like it was a game and that made him angry.

"Why would I know who took him?" She asked back.

"Just answer the question." He insisted.

"No Sam, I don't know who took him."

"Why didn't you just say that in the first place instead of making me waste time here with you?"

She raised her eyebrows, "So I'm a waste of time now?"

He rolled his eyes, "I don't have time to play to your feelings Ruby, I should be out looking for my nephew." He said turning his back on her and walking away.

"I've missed you too." She called out to him. But he didn't acknowledge her. He just kept walking.

= X =

Christina stood in DJ's nursery at her fathers' house, using her eyes to search for any clue to the identity of the kidnapper. She felt useless, and while they waited for Sam's return with information – if any – that Ruby had, she was trying to occupy her mind from thinking the worst. But everything was pretty much the way it had been when she'd decorated it because he'd only slept there a handful of times. His crib barely looked slept in; there was no sign of a struggle like DJ had tried to protect himself against the stranger and had failed. There was no blood, which she was thankful for, but that just meant there were no clues and that would make it harder to find him.

She reached inside his bed to touch the teddy Sam had sent her for him while she was pregnant and then they travelled to all the other stuffed toys displayed around the room. He'd taken to sending her one from every State they visited on a hunt, which meant she had no room for them all at her place so she'd brought maybe more than half over to her fathers. It had helped DJ feel like it was in his own room when she'd needed to stay over night or she'd been caught up in research. She'd wanted him to feel safe there and it was ironic that it was the one place he obviously wasn't.

All the waiting around was beginning to take its toll on her. She knew that finding him within the first couple of hours was vital to finding him alive; she'd seen it in documentaries on TV, but he'd been gone two hours and she'd taken no steps to actually finding him. But that was about to change. She bolted from the nursery, down the stairs and out the back door.

"Castiel!" She yelled at the top of her voice to make sure she was heard.

= X =

Dean threw a frown across at Bobby as he heard Christina's bellow from outside and they simultaneously got to their feet to go out to her.

"CJ, what you doing?" He asked as they reached where she was stood.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm calling Castiel. He's quick enough dropping a visit on me any damn time he likes, but when we need him he's nowhere to be found."

He frowned, "He visited you?"

Realising she'd leaked information he didn't have, she spun to face him, "He showed up at the apartment after you and Dad confronted him."

"That was weeks ago and you didn't think to tell me?"

"It wasn't important."

"Not important? It had to be important enough for him to drop in on you."

"Well it wasn't." She said turning away from him and yelling up to the sky again. "Castiel! I swear if you don't get your angelic ass down here I'm going to…" But she didn't get to finish her sentence before he appeared in front of them. "Well, it's about damn time. Someone took DJ."

"We have him."

"What? Why?"

"We're protecting him. He's 6 months old exactly; it was just a matter of time before they came for him."

"Demons?" Dean asked.

"Yes."

"What do they want?"

"They'll use him to get what they need from you – or Sam."

"So why didn't you just tell me that instead of taking him and making me go out of my mind?" Christina insisted.

"There wasn't time. We got word of an imminent attack so we had to remove him."

"And exactly how long do you expect me to be without my son?"

"Just a few more nights. Whatever they want from him, they need it within the next couple of days. Once he's no longer in danger, he will be returned to you. But you should be on your guard, they may come for you, in order to get him and we absolutely will not trade his life for yours. He's far more significant to us than you are." Castiel was candid.

She frowned, "Why is he important to you?"

"I'm sure I've answered too many of your questions already."

She lunged for him, grabbing the lapel of his jacket, but the angel stood steadfast. "Listen you bastard, you'll answer every last question I have. You've got my son."

Castiel frowned down at her, not understanding the emotion behind her reaction, "I don't answer to you Christina." He reminded her.

"You know, angel or not, I will rip your heart out if you don't tell me something."

He knew her threat had no real accuracy; he was impossible to kill – at least by a human – but he responded regardless. "He's a very integral part of the fight between good and evil."

She was taken back by his statement, "But he's just a baby."

"I give you my word, Dean Jr will not be harmed – now nor in the future."

"For your sake, you better be right." And as her threat left her mouth, Castiel disappeared just as Sam pulled up in the Impala.

Shutting off the engine, he jumped out of the vehicle wearing a frown on his face, "Hey, what's going on?" He asked.

"Oh Cas just dropped by to let us know that he took DJ." His brother replied with sarcasm lacing his voice.

"Why?"

"The demons want him so they can use him to get what they want from us."

"And what do they want from us?"

Dean shrugged, "He didn't want to spoil the surprise." He said, walking back inside after Bobby.

Sam looked at Christina, "You OK?"

Dazed, it took a minute for her to register his question, "Not really. But what can I do? As long as he's safe, that's the main thing."

He put his arm around her, "Let's get you inside."

But she stepped away from him, "Actually Sam, I think I'm going to go home. There's nothing I can do here."

"You want me to walk you back?"

She shook her head, "Thanks, but I can walk home by myself."

= X =

Dean looked up as his brother followed them inside the house and frowned when he saw him alone, "Where's CJ?"

"She went home." He replied.

"You let her walk home, alone?"

"She wouldn't let me go with her."

"Cas said that the demons might go after her in order to get what they want." He filled him in as he grabbed his jacket and headed out of the door.

Sam looked at Bobby, "How was I supposed to know that?"

The older man raised his eyebrows. He knew the eldest brother was doing his best to protect his family and felt like a failure, which was why he'd rushed after his daughter like he had. His failure to protect DJ had hit him hard and he believed he had to try harder to keep Christina safe, when – if he stopped long enough to think about it – he would realise she was equipped enough to take care of herself. But his instincts had gone into overdrive so he wasn't about to let her out of his sight.

Spinning on his heel, Sam followed his brother, without another word to Bobby.

= X =

"CJ, wait up." Dean called out to her and she walked out of the entrance to the scrap yard and onto the street. "I'll walk with you."

She rolled her eyes, knowing he'd taken Castiel's warning too literal, when he'd really only meant it as a precaution. "I'll be fine. I don't need a babysitter." She countered into the twilight, continuing on her way without looking back at him.

"Didn't you hear Cas?"

"Yes, I heard Cas Dean. But if they know the angels have DJ, they'll realise that it'll be pointless trying to use me as a pawn because the angels are smarter than to trade me for him. Therefore, no one's coming for me."

"Well I'm not taking that risk." He said catching up to her.

"Guys, wait for me." Sam's voice floated toward them in the fast approaching darkness.

She sighed, "Great, now I have Laurel as well as Hardy."

Dean unknowingly cocked his head to the side, reacting to her comment with a frown. Had she just referred to him as Hardy? He silently wondered if he'd heard right. But he brushed it off as his brother sprinted to catch up.

"You can just turn around too. I don't need either of you. I can look after myself." She told him.

"She's right, you can go back." He told his brother before turning to address her. "But _I'm_ walking you home."

Sam stared at the back of his head, he was sick of his orders and being expected to take them without hesitation like he had with their father. He knew that – if there was an attempt to take her – he'd be more useful in preventing it than Dean, so he wasn't about to stay behind.

"I might as well come along; I've got nothing better to do." He shrugged.

Christina threw her head back and growled; somehow she sensed she was fighting a losing battle, "Fine! Do what you want, I really don't care."

= X =

Unlocking the door with her key, Christina was stopped from entering her apartment with a persuasive nudge out of the way by Dean. Removing his gun from the waistband of his jeans, he threw a look to Sam; silently relaying the message for him to follow suit and Sam acknowledged it with a nod as he removed his own weapon from inside his jacket.

With a roll of her eyes Christina watched Dean disappear inside, closely followed by his brother, and she released an exasperated sigh as she propped herself against the external wall. She was hardly a damsel in distress and she hated being treated as such.

It was a few minutes later when Dean popped his head around the door, "All clear."

She pushed herself upright with a huff, "Of course it is. I could've told you that." She said barging passed him to get inside. "I'm going to take a shower." She informed both of them as she headed to her bedroom.

Dean sighed as he closed the front door and heard her slam her bedroom one shut. "Guess I can't do anything right." He said to Sam as they made their way to the lounge.

"She just hates feeling helpless." He offered an explanation.

Immediately Dean's back went up, "You think I don't know that?" He snapped. "Do you think that because you kissed her once it means you know her better than I do? Because you don't."

"No, of course not…"

"Since I've been back all you've done is act like you're the only one she can depend on and it's pissing me off. When she's upset you comfort her, when she's lonely you spend time with her and when the demons come for DJ, you're there. What is it with you? You can't get your own girl, so you try to take mine?"

"I thought she wasn't your girl anymore?"

"Bottom line Sam, they're my family. DJ is _my_ son, not yours, so quit acting like you're responsible for them. That's my job OK?"

"Sorry, I just thought that with DJ being my nephew that I should do my bit and be his uncle."

"And that's fine, if you're just his uncle. But you're playing like you're his Dad and you're not."

"I'm not trying to be. But whether you like it or not, they're my family too so I'm going to be there for them – for both of them – and I don't care if you hate me for it."

Dean exhaled. "I haven't got a problem with you being there, you've just got to step back a bit and let me be a part of my family. Stop trying to take over with them."

"This isn't a popularity contest Dean. You'll always be the alpha male around here, and no amount of time I spend with them is going to change how they both feel about you. Quit being paranoid. I'm not after your family. I don't want your girl or your son; I'm just playing my role in their lives as your brother."

He took a deep breath, "I know what I see Sam. There's more there than just being my brother so don't treat me like an idiot. I'm just asking – as your brother – for time getting to know my son and figure out what CJ and I are going to be to each other."

Sam nodded, "I guess I'll get out of here then."

"No." Dean stopped him as he spun to leave. "You stay; I'll go back to Bobby's."

He was about to argue with him, but before he'd opened his mouth, Dean was gone out the front door.

Sam rushed out to the corridor after him, "C'mon Dean…"

He stopped and turned to address him, "No Sam, you want to be me so bad, have at it."

"I don't want your life Dean."

"Then quit trying to push me out of it." He yelled back continuing on his way.

With a frustrated sigh, Sam walked back inside the apartment and closed the door.

= X =

Bobby looked up with a frown when Dean walked back in the rear door. "I thought you were staying with CJ."

"I was, but Sam decided to tag along and there's no point of us both being there." He replied, grabbing a beer from the fridge and twisting off the cap.

The older man watched him curiously, "Alright, what is it that's got you all hot and bothered this time?"

He sighed, "I just… I hate how she depends on him, when it should be me."

He frowned as he swigged at his beer, "You're jealous of your brother?"

"No, I just don't like how close they've gotten."

"He was just looking out for your family while you were gone. He probably doesn't know how to take a step back now you're back."

"No, it's more than that…" He paused. "I think he's in love with her."

But Bobby immediately dismissed it, "Don't talk stupid."

"Well, they almost slept together once so maybe not."

"Sam and CJ?" He asked astounded.

His brow furrowed, "You didn't know?"

"Of course I didn't know." He answered reeling. "When in the hell did that happen?"

"Before he took off, after I got bit."

"I asked her about that just after you got back and she told me she didn't know why he took off."

"C'mon Bobby, you're surprised she lied? I only found out because I caught her in a lie. She wasn't exactly broadcasting it."

"She's never lied to me before."

"I used to be able to say that about Sam, now look at us."

= X =

Christina's eyes drifted closed and she was surprised to find the man waiting for her in the darkness. It wasn't Danny or the brother she usually saw but she found herself smiling regardless. He was everything she wanted Dean to be, except he was Sam. The way she felt around him was unsettling; it threw her out of her comfort zone. They had so much in common it was hard not to be emotionally connected to him. He seemed to understand her in a way Dean never could, he knew what it was like to be riddled with evil while fighting to be good. He knew the battle she faced daily because he fought it too. He understood without having to try.

She forced her eyes open and stared at the shadows on her ceiling. Although she was in love with Dean, there was a part of her that wanted Sam – as bizarre as that was. But she knew nothing could ever happen between them if she was ever to have a future with Dean.

= X =

"You're still in love with her aren't you?" Bobby asked as they sat drinking, having gradually reached the realisation of why he was so bothered by his daughter's dependency on Sam.

"I love her; she's the mother of my son." He replied holding back.

"That's not what I asked."

Dean sighed, "I don't know anymore."

"Bullshit."

"I can't deal with baby mama drama Bobby, there's way too much going on."

"So, then I guess you're OK with her dating Danny."

"No. I don't want her dating anybody, but what am I gonna do? I can't tell her not to date the guy, she'll do it in spite of me and I can't tell her how I feel."

"Why not?"

"Because I always wind up hurting her and there's only so much she'll take before I lose her for good."

"So tell her that. It's better than her thinking it's because of her."

= X =

A knock came at her bedroom door, distracting Christina from the thoughts that had crept into her mind, and she called out to the person the other side, allowing them access.

"Hey, you OK?" The youngest Winchester asked poking his head around the door.

She sat up in bed, pulling the covers up with her to hide her body, "Yeah Sam, I'm fine." She replied with a smile. "How come you're still up?"

He pushed open the door and propped himself against the doorframe, "I doubt I'll be able to sleep."

She nodded, understanding, "Where's Dean?"

"He's uh, decided to stop at your Dad's."

"He's left us alone? How will we fight our animal urges?" She asked playfully.

He smiled, "I think his ego is still bruised from that hit he took from you." He lied, covering up the real reason why Dean had left.

She raised her eyebrows to agree with him but it went unseen. "Well, he was out of line, and it was about time someone let him know it."

"It's still fresh. You can't blame him for being hurt."

"He has every right to be hurt Sam, but he needs to learn a better way to express himself."

"I can't argue with that." He agreed with her. "Anyway, I'll let you sleep, I just wanted to check on you." He said reaching for the handle to pull the door closed.

But she stopped him, "No, Sam. Come in, sit." She said tapping the bed beside her.

"You're not tired?"

She shook her head, "I doubt I'll be able to sleep. It's strange knowing he's not here."

"He's safe." He said walking in and sitting down next to her.

"I know, but it doesn't stop me missing him."

Sam nodded, he had to change the subject before he made her cry again, "So, how are things going with Danny?"

"OK."

"That good huh?"

She immediately sensed his sarcasm and laughed, "It is going great. It's just a little weird talking to you about it."

"Why?"

"Because for so long Dean was the only one I saw a future with, and he's your brother."

"But he didn't know a good thing when he had it, so you're entitled to move on and besides, you should know you can always talk to me."

"Thanks Sam." She said linking her arm in his and rested her head on his sturdy shoulder, "You're a good friend."

He smiled and craned his neck to look down on her face, "Ditto."

Silence fell on them as they sat in the darkness, each with their own thoughts. But it was Christina who broke the peace.

"Did I hear you two going at it a little while ago?"

Sam hesitated. He wasn't sure how much of the conversation she heard or if Dean would want her to know. "You heard that?"

"I heard raised voices. I didn't hear what was said." She clarified. "What was it this time?"

"Oh, you know, just the usual crap."

"That's why he left isn't it?"

"I'm pretty sure that it's because he feels guilty about DJ being taken that he's picking a fight. He just doesn't know how to show that stuff."

She sighed, "You know, Dad seems to think he's not being honest about his feelings. He thinks he still loves me."

He wanted to tell her he thought the same, but he feared his brother would never confess he'd lied in order to save her the misery of being with him. So he had to throw her off the scent. "I hate to say it CJ, but I don't think he does."

"Yeah, that's what I told Dad. After all, the only person Dean truly loves is himself."

"Up until DJ came along I would've agreed with you but he loves that little boy more than life."

She laughed, catching Sam off guard. "Yeah, even now I'm amazed how well he took to being a Dad and I never thought in a million years that I'd see him changing a diaper."

"Fatherhood has changed him, that's for sure."

Sadness took over in her demeanour and it was evident in her voice. "So you think I'm stupid to hold out hope that I'll still get my happy ever after with him?"

"I thought you'd already given up on that."

"I tried, and on the surface sometimes it looks like that but I can't help loving him."

"And what about Danny?"

"He's a great distraction, but he's not Dean."

Sam shifted uncomfortably, causing her to lift her head from his shoulder, as he spoke, "I think you're going to have to face up to the possibility of never getting what you want from him, I'm not sure he'll ever be ready to be that involved with you."

She nodded, but inside the part of her that saw her future mapped out with him shrivelled up and died. Still she couldn't help holding on to it, refusing to let it go. "And what if you're wrong?"

He turned to face her, "CJ, you deserve the big family and the white picket fence you dream of having and I just don't think you should wait for Dean in order to have it."

The tears sprung to her eyes. Hearing him say that her hope was fruitless was a bitter pill to swallow. Even though Dean had told her they couldn't be together, she knew they gravitated toward each other and she'd spent the past month expecting that he just needed time to get over what she'd seen him endure in Hell. But as the days passed, she found it harder to believe she'd ever get the happily ever after she'd been dreaming about her whole life.

= X =

Dean lay on the couch at Bobby's looking up at the ceiling. His father figure had made his way to his bed some time ago, so he was alone with his thoughts and they were driving him crazy. All he could picture was Sam in the dream he'd had prior to going to Hell, with his arm around Christina. He could hear his voice echoing in his head, telling him that they were going to bring up DJ together, and he felt sick. Little had he realised it at the time, but that was his instinct subconsciously letting him know that he couldn't trust his brother and now he knew it more than ever. He'd lied to him a lot lately, so what would stop him lying about his true feelings for Christina? The answer was simply, nothing. It wouldn't be such a stretch of the imagination to conclude he was in love with his ex because the two had consoled each other when he'd died – that much they'd been completely honest about, eventually – and that could've easily developed into more for his brother. Although, he found it hard to believe that was the way Christina felt. He saw the pain in her eyes every time he looked at her, she wanted to hate him because she loved him and he'd hurt her. But what they'd had was so real and intense; he refused to believe Sam could replace him so easily.

Maybe it was just paranoia because he'd been away from them for four months, but the feelings were real for him. Of course, he had no hold over Christina; she was free to date whomever she wanted to date – except his brother. He'd been honest when he'd told Bobby that he didn't want her dating anyone. Despite telling her he couldn't be with her, it was impossible to just swallow his love for her so it was an internal battle everyday not to scoop her up and kiss her. And although he couldn't just fall out of love with her, he didn't want to make her promises he couldn't keep at the same time, which made his role as a father difficult. He had to maintain a relationship with DJ and, for his own sanity, keep his distance from her but it was too difficult to juggle and he found himself feeling jealous over her developing relationship with Danny. It was no great secret that he didn't like the guy that Christina had stumbled upon, he guessed it was natural to dislike him so much – but he knew that was only because of his strong emotional connection to her. He wanted to have what his parents so desperately wanted for him, he just didn't know how to be domesticated. He hadn't grown up like normal kids and as a result of it, didn't know how to play house. Ideally, he wanted the best of both worlds; to have Christina and be free of responsibility, which wasn't likely to ever happen. Christina's plans for her future were strong and nothing was going to deter her from getting what she wanted – even if that meant she'd eventually get him to settle down. He couldn't say categorically that they weren't going to have a future together, because no one knew what was around the corner, but right now his priorities had to be hunting.

With a heavy sigh, he sat upright; he wasn't going to be able to rest now he'd opened that can of worms despite being tired. He ran his hand down the length of his face to shake off the fatigue he so desperately wanted to give into and climbed to his feet, grabbing his jacket as he made his way out the door.

= X =

Reaching Christina's apartment, Dean used the key she'd given him to gain access to the building and made his way up to her floor. He lightly tapped at the door expecting someone to still be up, but when there was no evidence of movement, he used the key to get inside. The place was in darkness so he made a conscious effort to make as little noise as possible as he walked toward the main room. He flicked on the lounge light to find the room empty and a frown etched on his brow immediately, still – he concluded – Sam was asleep on the floor in DJ's room. But as he made his way to the nursery, he peered inside Christina's open bedroom door to find the two fast asleep on her bed. Even though his brother was lay on top of the covers and she was lay beneath them, the sight made him furious and he took a step backward, slipping on a toy he hadn't seen.

The noise he'd created was enough to wake Sam, and he spotted him instantly. He looked across the mattress at the mother of his brother's son and realised exactly what it looked like. He jumped up from the bed and bolted after Dean, who'd started on his way out. "Dean, wait. That wasn't what it looked like."

He stopped and spun to face him, "No, because nothing's going on between you two right?" He asked sarcastically. "But I walk in here to find you spooning, so tell me; what am I supposed to think?"

"You're supposed to trust that I wouldn't do that to you."

"How can I do that Sam? You've done it before."

He stared off into the distance and swallowed hard, "That was when we thought you were dead."

"That doesn't make it OK Sam."

"It makes it different."

He squinted, "Are you kidding me?"

"What I mean is…"

But Dean held up his hand to stop him speaking, "You're just digging yourself deeper Sam, so stop talking."

The argument the two were having woke Christina and she went to investigate, trying to wake up on the way.

"What the hell is going on?" She asked rubbing her eyes against the sting the lounge light created as it shone through the open archway in the wall.

"That's exactly what I'd like to know." Dean replied shooting a look to his brother.

She frowned causing Sam to answer her expression, "I fell asleep on your bed, Dean saw us and…"

But before he could complete his sentence, she finished it for him, "Now he thinks we're sleeping together?"

"Something like that."

She sighed, "I'm not – nor will I ever be – sleeping with your brother."

"So what was that?" He countered motioning to her bedroom.

"We were talking and we fell asleep, that doesn't make us a couple. God, you've got to get that stuff out of your head because I am through explaining myself to you."

"Fine, consider the topic closed." He reluctantly agreed. But the topic would never be closed for him, not until he got to the bottom of Sam's feelings for her. "I'm going back to Bobby's."

Christina watched Dean leave her apartment and shot Sam a look as they were left alone, "Still think I shouldn't hold out for him?" She asked spinning on her heel to go back to her room feeling a small victory.


	13. Chapter 13

**TWELVE**

It had been days since Castiel had informed his family of DJ's whereabouts and Christina was feeling redundant. Since his birth, she'd done everything for her son – mainly because she had to but also because he gave her a purpose. Before he'd come along, she'd used her nurturing skills to take care of her father and the Winchesters but they neither needed it or appreciated it anymore. So being without him left her at a loose end. It felt like too long between the hours she spent alone and she glanced at the clock every minute in anticipation of his return. So she'd taken to cooking – one of her favourite distractions – and was elbow high in cookies when Castiel appeared before her.

When her eyes landed on him she had to refrain from strangling him, remembering it would do no good anyway because he was an angel and he probably couldn't be killed. Except when he presented DJ to her, it was hard for her to stay mad at him. She reached out to grab her son from him and enveloped him in a suffocating hug.

"Does that mean it's over?" She asked, forcing her eyes away from her son and up to Castiel's.

He nodded, "For now. But they may try again. Demon's can be unpredictable."

She nodded back at him, "I understand. But Cas, if you ever take him again without telling me, I will find a way to end you." She administered the threat with as much conviction as she felt.

The few days she'd spent without her son had been unbearable and she never wanted to be without him ever again. But it seemed as though Castiel had taken the warning lightly as he watched her reunion with the boy she'd brought into the world and it made her feel oddly unsettled.

"Is there something else?" She asked failing to see why he was lingering.

"Where's his father?"

"He and Sam are on a case in Pennsylvania." She answered, but still he stood before her. "What aren't you telling us Castiel?"

"What did you see for the future in your vision Christina?" He asked hesitantly.

She frowned, "You don't know?"

"I don't read minds."

"But I thought if anyone would know, it would be the angels."

"We don't see anything that hasn't already happened."

Christina walked into the lounge and reluctantly placed her son down on the floor. It felt like so long since she'd held him that she didn't want to let him go but Castiel's question demanded all her attention. "I saw the end." She replied simply to the man that had followed her into the room.

He looked away from her, "That's not possible."

"That's what I saw." She said, disliking his unwillingness to believe her. "But you can stop it right? My visions are just a guideline; they're not foresight into what's already written in stone."

"We're not sure."

"What do you mean; you're not sure? I'm not a psychic Castiel, I'm just human – a normal everyday human, who occasionally has glimpses of what could happen."

His eyes found their way to hers, "Do you honestly believe that?"

"I have to believe that because the alternative is just not worth contemplating. I didn't ask for this 'gift' and if I could give it back I would because I hate it, not to mention the headaches and the nausea. It's made my life a misery. I just want to be normal Castiel. I'm not special. I have no purpose other than to be a mother, please tell me that's all I am."

But he shook his head, "I can't do that because we don't know. There's never been an individual like you before."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

He hesitated. He was about to give her privileged information and his brothers weren't going to like it. "It wasn't by chance that you made it out alive that night Christina." Castiel told her.

She knew exactly which night he was referring to but still a frown made its way to her features. "What?"

"We helped the healing process when Alastair attacked you, which is why you were able to move when you woke up."

"Why?"

"Because you're much more valuable than you realise."

She frowned, "To who?"

"You're an asset that will allow Dean to do the job he was brought back for."

"And what exactly is that?"

He disregarded her question; "You healed well. You're strong, just like your mother."

"You knew my mother?"

"She was one of us."

"She was an angel?"

He nodded, "She fell."

"You can fall from heaven?"

"Yes."

"Why would she do that?"

"She began to question her faith in God so she made the decision to fall."

"Did she know? Because there was no mention of it in any of her journals."

"No. Once we fall we have no recollection of what we were."

"Does that mean I'm…"

"No. Your mother was human – like all angels who make that choice – but she maintained some angelic qualities, which is why the good in you will always outweigh the bad."

"But I'm at least half demon."

"Not anymore, thanks to Bobby."

"So that paternity test was right?"

"Yes."

"Then why am I still having visions?"

"I don't have all the answers Christina. But I wanted you to know that your heart is pure in origin."

"That's it? That's your explanation?" She asked enraged. "Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"Its information I've only recently become privy to."

"Well, someone knew. Why am I only finding out about this now?"

"I shouldn't be telling you at all."

She immediately softened, "So why are you?"

"It's the belief in yourself that will set a course of success for your future."

She frowned, "What does that mean?"

But he didn't answer, "I have to go, I just wanted to return your son."

She threw a look toward DJ and when she looked back, Castiel was gone, leaving her with his cryptic message running around in her head.

= X =

He arrived in South Dakota late into the afternoon. He'd stopped off on the way at a motel to get a few hours shut eye so that when he got to his destination he was alert. Finding Christina was proving to be difficult, it was like she didn't want to be found, but for his own peace of mind he had to find her.

He practically slowed to a stop down the main street of the town in Lawrence County and searched the area with his eyes. His best chance of finding her was to see her, asking around had presented him with no leads and it had him wondering whether she'd actually given him her real name. He had no idea if any of the information he had about her had been real, so asking for her by name was useless, which is why he'd been showing her picture to anyone that would look at it.

He hadn't come to the conclusion right away to look for her, resigning to the fact that she'd left in the middle of the night simply because she couldn't face him to say goodbye, but he just couldn't let her go. If he was honest, he was expecting her to leave when she learned Dean was terminally ill. He could see the weight of it on her shoulders from the minute she found out he was dying, except it had taken her a month to finally make her decision and he never expected that she'd go the way she did. She'd simply left everything she owned, which wasn't a lot, and walked out the door. So here he was searching the country State by State to find any trace of her just to lay his heart at rest.

Pulling into a spot outside the local diner, he was immediately drawn to the '67 Chevy Impala that passed him and something clicked in his mind. He'd heard a lot about the muscle car Dean had been given by his father as soon as he was old enough to drive. He could recall exactly what her face was like as she described her love for it and what she'd do if she were ever to get her hands on that particular vehicle – her dream car. Instantly he pulled out of the parking space and headed after it. If it turned out that he was wrong and the car didn't lead him to Christina, there was no harm done but he wasn't about to pass up the opportunity to find out when he'd be kicking himself for not taking it later.

He followed the Impala to a building and watched as two men climbed out. He guessed them to be around the same age as him, maybe a bit younger. One had short hair, wore a black military style jacket and stood a good couple of inches short of his companion and the other had longer hair, wore a shorter bodied jacket and was a good deal over six foot as far as he could tell. Instinctively, he knew they were the Sam and Dean he'd heard so much about in his history with her, the similarities were too coincidental for them not to be. He observed as they made their way up the steps of the building and hit one of the buzzers on the panel outside before disappearing inside out of view. He wanted to follow them, to see if it was Christina they were visiting, but he had to bide his time so instead he sat in wait, parked on the opposite side of the road a few cars back from the Impala.

= X =

Dean's eyes lit up upon seeing his son playing on the lounge floor with his toys and he headed over wearing a smile, "Hey buddy." He said lifting him into his arms and embracing him in a hug. "Daddy missed you."

Christina smiled. She had no doubt he had missed having his son around because even in the short time they'd had to get to know each other, they'd built quite a bond as only a father and son could.

She'd called the boys' father as soon as Castiel had retreated back to wherever he disappeared off to in order to tell him DJ was home and he headed straight back, having finished in Pennsylvania.

"How was the hunt?" She asked, not really caring but trying to make conversation.

Sam shot a look across the room at his brother, "It was interesting."

She was instantly curious, "Why was that?"

"Dean thinks – well, thought – he'd been re-hymennated."

"Re-what-ennated?"

"He figures that he came back with his virginity intact."

She raised her eyebrows as she threw a look to him, "Maybe angels can pull you out of Hell, but no one is reinstating your virginity." She laughed.

"Go ahead, yuk it up." He smiled sarcastically at them both.

Suddenly she turned back to Sam, "Wait – you said thought, as in past tense."

"He met a girl."

She processed the information, quickly so as not to show her jealously. She could hardly be jealous when she was almost dating Danny. "Really?"

"Her name was Jamie; she worked at the local bar." Sam explained with a chuckle. "And he actually leaned on the bar and said to her, _I'm a maverick, ma'am. A rebel with a badge. One thing I don't play by? The rules._" He said adopting his best Dean impersonation.

Christina laughed, "And this Jamie actually fell for that?" He nodded his response. "Well, then she deserved to be taken advantage of."

"I didn't take advantage of her." Dean pointed out, as he stood listening to them mock him. "She knew exactly what it was."

"My God. You know, contrary to your own belief, you're not Hugh Hefner."

"No, because I don't need to take Viagra to get it up."

She rolled her eyes in response; she couldn't stomach listening to his cavalier attitude to sex with strangers so she had to make an exit, "I'm going to get DJ something to eat."

Dean watched her leave the room and cut his eyes at his brother, "What did you have to go and tell her that for?"

"She asked."

"About the hunt; you didn't have to tell her about the girl."

"I didn't realise it was top secret information." He sniggered. But when there was no evidence of amusement on his brother's face, he frowned. "What's going on with you?"

"I just don't want her knowing that stuff, that's all."

"Why? You two aren't together anymore."

"And we're never going to get back together if you keep telling her things like that."

"Well, if you want to win her back, stop sleeping with other women." He stated in a firm hush tone.

Dean cut his brother a look. He knew he was right, but it was hard to be monogamous when he wasn't actually in a relationship with Christina and he couldn't commit to her knowing he had a tendency to stray. "Just do me a favour and contain your need to share everything with her."

= X =

He sat in his car watching the building well into the night just waiting for a glimpse of the brothers or who they'd gone to visit, but there was nothing so far. He was hungry and tired, but he wasn't about to leave his post. This could finally be the break he'd been searching over twelve months for so he wasn't about to give up when he had a feeling he was so close to bringing his investigation to an end.

The dark and cold only assisted in his misery. Wanting to remain unseen, he'd shut off his engine so there was no heat being pumped through the vents to warm the vehicle and it was almost November. He cupped his hands over her mouth, breathing on them in order to regain some measure of feeling in his fingers, but it was proving to be a useless exercise.

= X =

Christina watched as Sam and Dean sat on the floor with DJ and drank in the sight before her. She loved observing as the Winchesters interacted with him because it made her realise how much of a family they were. They weren't all related by blood, and she wasn't married to either of them, but they were all they had – and they were enough. They all looked out for one another and would essentially die for each other, which was what family was all about.

As much as Dean fought their connection at times, she knew he was in her life to stay, regardless of his role and nothing made her happier. She felt so much safer when she was surrounded by all the men of her life and that included her son. But whenever she felt content with the uncertainties her future had to offer something screwed it up and suddenly – as she sat there – a feeling of dread overcame her, like things were too good and the world was about to punish her for being so happy.

With a frown, she got to her feet and walked over to the window. She peered out beyond the drapes to the street beyond the glass and scanned the area with her eyes as a simple precaution. Something didn't feel right and her gut instinct was usually right.

"You OK?" Dean asked looking up at her sudden movement.

She looked back inside the room at him, "I don't know. I've got a bad feeling at the pit of my stomach."

Sam got to his feet and headed to the window in order to repeat her action. "I don't see anything."

"Like I said, it's more of a feeling."

The eldest brother collected his son in his arms and got to his feet too. "Do you want us to stay with you tonight?"

"Actually, I'd feel much safer if we were at Dad's."

He nodded, "OK. Then we'll head over there for the night."

"I'll just get some of DJ's stuff." She said heading out of the room.

Sam and Dean exchanged a look, usually Christina's gut instinct was pretty accurate, and they were instantly worried.

= X =

He was about to settle in for the night, wrapping his coat securely around him and slumping down as much as he could in the driver's seat of his car, when he saw movement up ahead. The community door on the building opened and he watched as the two men he'd seen go in, walked out underneath the darkness. The tallest surveyed the street, while the shortest carried out a baby, and then he saw her. She looked around cautiously before heading after them to the car.

Deciding he needed to make his move before they took off to wherever they were disappearing to in the middle of the night, he climbed out of his car and made his way across the road.

"Damn, I forgot his blanket." He heard her announce as he almost got close enough to draw her attention. "Get him strapped in Dean, I won't be two minutes."

He stepped out of the shadows as she paused, but it was only when he spoke that she noticed him, "I might've known I'd find you with him."

She immediately knew the voice that echoed through the quiet empty street and her eyes shot in his direction, "Logan." She said, almost choking on his name.

"You know this guy?" Dean asked wearing a frown, to which she nodded.

"Man you work fast; gone just over a year and you've already got a kid." The stranger continued.

"What are you doing here? I told you not to look for me."

"You took off in the middle of the night." He reminded her.

"I remember."

"CJ, who is this guy?" Dean asked growing impatient.

"His name is Charlie Logan." She replied. "He's the guy I was engaged to."

Now he saw it, they kind of looked the same. Obviously, Charlie wasn't as good-looking as himself, but there were some definite similarities.

Seeing the stranger approach, Sam had paused from climbing into the passenger's seat and was listening in bemusement. He'd heard Christina say she'd been engaged, except he suspected that it didn't work out not for the reasons she gave, but because he wasn't Dean.

Charlie immediately addressed Dean. "I thought you were dying."

He shot a look to Christina, who answered for him. "The leukaemia went into remission."

"Leukaemia was it?" He asked, still speaking to the eldest Winchester.

He cleared his throat. He'd been caught off guard, "Yeah, leukaemia."

When she'd found out about Dean's deal, she'd been in shock and Charlie had known instantly there was something wrong, so she'd created a cover for his actual deadline with death. She never dreamed she'd have to explain any of it, expecting that he would just go about his life without her in it once she'd finally made the decision to leave. The truth was her relationship with him had just been a poor substitute for the one she had with Dean, and for a while it had worked, but she'd only been kidding herself and eventually she'd brought herself to admit that no one was going to ever replace him.

"You shouldn't have come looking for me Logan." Christina told her ex.

"What was I supposed to do? You didn't even have the decency to tell me you were leaving. I had to wake up to a goddamn letter on your pillow."

"A letter that specifically told you not to try and find me."

"Did you really expect me to just forget you existed?"

Dean listened to their exchange barely believing his ears. He already had Danny to compete for her affections with and now her ex-fiancé was along for the ride too. What were the odds?

"I don't know what you want from me." She continued with an exasperated sigh.

"I want to know why you started something with me when you knew you'd never be over this piece of shit." He angrily spat out, motioning to the father of her son.

"What did you call me?" Dean asked prepared to pounce.

But Christina planted her hand on his chest, "He's mad at me. He didn't mean it."

"I sure as hell meant it." Charlie reaffirmed.

Dean frowned, "You don't know me."

"You think? She talked about you enough pal. Believe me; I could pick you out of a line up wearing a blindfold."

Sam took a step toward the stranger, "There's no need for this to get personal."

He looked at the taller man, "Sam right?" He nodded. "Yeah, she talked about you too. You're the famous Winchesters, who nobody else can live up to. Well, from where I'm standing, you don't look like much."

"Look, I understand you're angry." Christina started. "But this is between me and you; it's got nothing to do with them."

"You're joking right? It's got everything to do with them. If it weren't for Dean you wouldn't have left."

She sighed, "I was always going to leave Logan. Everything you wanted, I couldn't give you."

"So why have you got it with him?"

She looked at the man holding her son, "Get him to Dad's; I'll follow you when I'm done here."

"I'm not leaving you alone with him." He countered.

"Just go, I'll be OK. He just wants closure."

Sam waited for the go ahead from his brother before he took DJ and placed him into his seat in the back of the Impala. But Dean didn't move.

"Dean, go." She assured him. "I'll be right behind you."

Reluctantly, he did as he was instructed and got in behind the wheel of the Impala before bringing the engine to life and driving away slowly. He wasn't comfortable leaving Christina to deal with the man who'd showed up out of nowhere. But his presence only seemed to fuel his anger, so it was probably best that he'd been ordered away. He just hoped that she wasn't in any danger; because she hadn't been hunting for so long that he wasn't sure her skills were up to the challenge.

As the Impala disappeared out of view, she drew her attention to the man she'd agreed to spend the rest of her life with. "You should know that Dean and I aren't together, we just have a son."

= X =

"I gotta say, I'm surprised she talked about me so much." Dean told his brother as he drove toward Bobby's.

"Are you?" Sam asked with a disbelieving accusation.

"We hadn't seen each other for 10 years before this guy showed up."

"The girl has your initial tattooed at the base of her spine, do you think for one second you were ever a distant memory?"

Dean frowned, "She's got my initial tattooed on her back?"

Sam rolled his eyes, "How you managed to sleep with her and never notice is totally beyond me."

"Well I was kind of concentrated on other areas; excuse me if I don't examine every inch of a woman's body."

"She's not just any woman Dean; she's one of only two I know of that you've said the 'L' word to."

He rolled his eyes, "Believe me, I know she's not just any woman. But I don't take notice of that stuff."

"I only saw it when she was cleaning up after DJ and I have a feeling she didn't want me to know about it either because she covered it up pretty quick."

Dean concentrated back on the road ahead but the image of the tattoo stayed with him. "Do you think that's weird?"

"That she covers it up or that she has it?"

"That she has it." He clarified.

"I don't think it's a new one Dean."

"No but, having my name tattooed onto her body, its a little permanent."

"I think that was kinda the idea." He chuckled.

= X =

"So you left me; had a kid with the guy and he still won't commit to you?" He asked.

She dropped her head slightly, hearing him say it as cold as that only made her realise how ridiculous it sounded. "Something like that."

"And yet you're still here waiting for him?" She didn't respond. She had no snappy rejoinder because it was true, and she knew she would wait forever for him. "Well I guess I underestimated how determined you are to get what you want."

Her defence mechanism made her instantly nasty, "I don't want you here Logan. I'm exactly where I need to be so just go home, get on with your life."

"Do you think if it was that easy that I would've wasted a year looking for you?"

"I told you not to come looking for me." She stated sternly. "It's not my fault you ignored my letter."

"That was a really shitty way of leaving Christina."

"You're right. But no guy likes to hear that he's being dumped."

"You made me believe we were going to get married."

"I'm sorry, but Dean's the only one I've ever pictured my future with."

"Then what was I?"

"You came along when I was trying to kid myself that I was over him."

"You could've just told me."

"You're right, it wasn't fair to you. But it's over Logan, I'm not coming back."

A silence settled between them. He wasn't sure what he was hoping to achieve once he'd found her, whether he wanted to just know she was safe or plead with her to go back with him. But it was obvious that he should have just stayed at home and found a way to forget about her because all this exercise had proved to do was hurt him more.

His voice broke the quiet on the street. "Are you happy?"

She dared to look him in the eye as she answered his question. "I wouldn't be here if I wasn't."

= X =

Bobby sat in the lounge waiting for his visitors going out of his mind. Christina had called to say they were coming over and that worried him. It was the middle of the night so there had to be a valid reason why they were fleeing her apartment so suddenly and she hadn't answered any of his questions, promising that she'd explain when they got there. So he sat, waiting. But he was anything by patient. He had already paced the room for five minutes but now he was sat back at his desk.

When he finally heard the back door he sprung to his feet and headed to greet them. Except when he saw that his daughter wasn't with the Winchester's, a frown appeared on his face. "Where's CJ?" He asked, expecting her to follow them into the house.

"Her fiancé showed up." Dean informed him.

"Her what?" He exclaimed.

"Her fiancé." He repeated.

His frown held, "What fiancé?"

Dean wasn't really surprised that Christina had kept that particular information from her father. There were some thing's she'd done during her four year absence that she didn't want to talk about now she was back where she belonged, even with him. He suspected she'd been trying to escape when she'd met Charlie and she'd forced herself into a different life, but it hadn't paid off because eventually she had to return to what she knew. Now she wanted to forget those years. Only it wasn't so easy when her past came looking for her.

"I only know he exists." He responded. "For any other details, you're going to have to ask her."

= X =

Christina watched Charlie get into his car and sighed. She never dreamed she'd see him again, much less that he'd come looking for her. He had helped her find a purpose in life when she'd been lost and for that she owed him the explanation she hadn't been able to bring herself to give him when she'd left. Having to face him had finally given her the opportunity to let her past go instead of feeling guilty for just disappearing.

She was truly happy now, regardless of whether she had what she desperately wanted from Dean. He was in her life, and maybe that could be enough, if she couldn't have anything else. That's why she was trying to move on with Danny. But the truth was, he was just another Charlie Logan and eventually she would leave him too. She'd always been searching for the same thing, a facsimile of one person – Dean – because she knew she'd never truly have the real thing.

She lingered on the street as he drove away, she knew her father would have questions and she'd have to explain. He wasn't going to be content with any vague responses, he'd want to know everything and she wasn't sure she had it in her to tell him the things she'd kept secret for so long. She wasn't proud of what she'd done to get by in those years, so having to come clean was going to be difficult – especially when she knew her father wouldn't approve either. She took a deep breath for courage. She had to get it over and done with.

= X =

Bobby looked up as Dean entered the room from putting his son down for the night and got to his feet, "Where is she Dean?"

But the older Winchester shrugged, "She said she'd be right behind us."

"Well it's been twenty minutes and we don't know this guy. What if she's in trouble?"

He paused; those had been exactly his thoughts as he'd climbed into the car when he left her. Only she'd insisted she was going to be OK and he'd took her word on it, but now he was starting to worry. He grabbed his jacket from the back of Bobby's chair, "I'll go and get her."

"I'll come with you." Her father said.

He turned back to face him, "No Bobby, stay here with DJ. I can handle it." He insisted and he didn't stick around to wait for him to agree before he walked back out into the night.

= X =

She turned the corner into the next street – opting not to go down the dark alley shortcut because of the hour – and was caught by surprise by someone lingering ahead of her. It was like he was waiting for someone or something and for a minute fear struck inside her heart. But she had to keep walking. She knew if she turned back now her dread would be obvious. So she continued to put one foot in front of the other keeping her pace to the sound in her ears of her pounding heart. Horror wasn't something she was used to feeling; usually she used it against her enemy. But since becoming a mother – and losing her power of telekinesis – she was constantly on edge. Of course it didn't help that Castiel had warned her about becoming the target of a demon attack as recent as last week.

She feigned courage as she gained on the hooded individual but her heart beat a tattoo in her chest. She could barely hear anything but her blood being pumped ferociously through her body as she stepped forward one foot at a time. Then, just when she thought her heart was going to give out, the Impala screeched to a halt at her side.

She didn't know why, but she directed her eyes from the floor to the stranger up ahead and found him looking back. Even in the darkness she knew who it was, his face would haunt her forever. Alastair. He was obviously there to collect her, to try and trade her life for her sons.

She climbed inside the passenger's side of the car, "Drive, now!" She told Dean.

Instantly he glanced to where the stranger stood, only to find he'd gone. He immediately put his foot on the gas putting the street in his rear view mirror.


	14. Chapter 14

**THIRTEEN**

Christina paced the lounge in her Dad's house still reeling from the figure she'd seen on the street. "Castiel was right. They're trying to get to DJ through me."

But her father frowned, "Why would Castiel return him if there was still a risk of him being taken?"

"They don't want him anymore." He replied, appearing from nowhere.

She frowned, "They were after me?"

"It seems that way." He replied.

"Why? What use am I to them? I can't give them anything. I have nothing they could need."

"Your visions could prove useful to them."

"Then why were they after DJ?"

"He has the power to change the course of the future."

"How?"

"His ability to protect could be very powerful to them or very damaging. They want to encourage him to fight with them and not against them."

"He's six months old." Dean reminded him.

He acknowledged his comment with a nod as he continued. "They know he'll be protected so they seem to have formulated a plan that includes Christina instead."

"So what do we do?" Sam asked the angel.

She gulped, superseding his question with her own. "Can they take my visions?"

"It would almost certainly result in your death." The angelic male announced.

But she wasn't scared. If she was protecting her son, she was prepared to die. "Then let them come for me. They can have whatever they want, so long as they leave DJ alone."

"It may not be that simple." Castiel said. "If they have you they might still come for him."

"Then what are our options?" Dean asked, suddenly hit with the apprehension of losing his family.

"We take them and hide them."

"Or?" Christina asked, disliking the idea of running away.

But Dean was astonished. "There is no 'or' option CJ. If you have to hide in the waiting room in the sky in order to keep you both safe, we take it."

"I'm not going to run away like a frightened child Dean. If these demons want me, let them try and take me."

"No."

She raised her eyebrows, "No? I'm sorry, when did this become your decision?"

"Since it's been a year since you went on a proper hunt. Do you remember what happened the last time you tried to play the hero? You ended up half dead in hospital."

"I'm fully aware of what happened." She shouted in his face. "I look at the scars every single day."

"Then don't be stupid. You're not ready for this fight."

"I'm not completely useless Dean. I can fight, I just need to tone up and get back in the game."

"No. It's not an option. I won't let you get yourself killed trying to prove a point."

"You won't let me? Besides, what makes you so sure I'd get myself killed? I was as good a hunter as you."

"Was CJ, was!"

"I only need to brush up on my hand to hand combat Dean. I'll always be a better shot with a gun than you are."

"Gun's don't work on demons. Or are you so out of practise that you forgot?" He spat back.

In truth he was still mad at himself for leaving her on the street outside her apartment when his gut instinct told him to fight his ground, regardless of how angry it made her. His stupid need to stay on her good side had meant he'd gone against everything his Dad had taught him about family. He was irate that she was almost taken from him because he would've been to blame if they'd got to her before he did. And he was still carrying the guilt that he hadn't been able to prevent DJ being taken, regardless of it being by the good guys.

Castiel frowned and leaned toward Sam, "Are they always like this?" He asked to which he nodded in reply. "Then how did they ever make a baby?"

Sam smirked, "There are two things they do well, this... and that."

"Dean, I don't want to hide away for the rest of my life just in case they come for me."

"Actually it'd just be until after All Soul's Day." Castiel said breaking up the ongoing fight.

"November 2nd?" Sam asked rhetorically.

"Whatever they have planned, their window of opportunity will end at the stroke of midnight."

That date was burned into his skull. It had been when Azazel had killed his mother in 1983 and then Jessica 22 years later in 2005. That was definitely a significant date on his calendar, and the thought that the demons had something planned for Christina on that day in order for them to gain the edge in the fight of good vs. evil only resulted in sickening him.

"So you expect me to go into hiding for over 2 weeks?" Christina asked for clarification.

Bobby had heard enough of her stubbornness. If there was ever a time in her life that he had to be her father, it was now. "Damn it Christina, if I have to drag you there myself, you're going with the angel."

Stunned, she glared at him. No matter how many times her father raised his voice to her, she would never get used to it. She gulped back the shocked tears that welled up in her eyes. "You're not giving me a choice in this?" She challenged him.

"I can't see you hurt again. I won't survive it a second time Princess." He said softly. "It's just a couple of weeks."

She nodded, "Fine. I'll go with Castiel if that's what you all want." She said defeated, bitterly giving up the fight and leaving the room.

= X =

Castiel lingered in the room with Bobby, Dean and Sam. Christina's emotional exit made him relieved that angels didn't have the ability to feel. They were soldiers in a war, and emotions were useless in the fight against his father's enemies. They had to separate themselves because doing what was necessary wasn't always conventional, and feelings made you vulnerable; something God's army couldn't afford to be if they were to do their job. Still, he understood her stubbornness – it seemed that was something she had in common with Dean. Being made to do something when you didn't believe it was right, must be hard. But she was right to agree to follow her father's orders.

"I'm surprised she gave up the fight so easily." Sam voiced his opinion.

"Well, she's not happy about it." Dean piped up.

"When she's done sulking, she'll realise it's the right thing to do." Her father told them.

"Is it?" Sam asked out of nowhere.

"What?"

"Is it the best thing to do?" He repeated his question.

"Of course it is."

"What if we can protect her better?"

Dean stepped toward him, "And by we, you mean you?"

"I can stop any demon."

But his brother shook his head, "No. You told me you were done with that."

"And I am. But I can protect her."

"No Sam. She's better off with Cas."

"You're not even going to consider it?"

"No because we've already got enough going on with Lilith breaking seals without you playing babysitter."

Sam was quiet. Dean was right; they had got enough going on without him being preoccupied with Christina. So he nodded in defeat. "OK."

= X =

Christina was stood over her son's crib watching the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he slept when Dean found her. He knew she didn't take orders well, especially when they went against her own ideas of what to do, but he knew she'd only agreed to it because of DJ. She wanted to be safe, and if being protected by angels was the only way to ensure his safety, there was no other option for her because she couldn't be separated from him again.

He stood in the doorway taking in the sight of her for a few minutes before entering the room. Reaching her, he looked down at their son and placed his hand at the base of her spine. "You OK?" He asked knowing she'd calmed down from their earlier confrontation.

She gave him a weak nod, "I just wish they'd leave us alone and let me get on with being his mother."

He stroked her back affectionately. "Yeah, I wish you could have that too. But it seems the demons are determined to ruin all our lives."

Silence once again fell on the room as she allowed Dean to comfort her. Only the peace didn't last long before her brain clicked back into gear with hundreds of questions and she had to give them a voice before they drove her insane. "Do you really think that what Cas said is right; that they want DJ to fight in their corner?"

"Hey don't worry about that. They wanted Sam, they didn't get him."

Although his sentence was meant to assure her, she didn't take it as it was intended. She turned to look him in the eye, "Yet."

Usually her comment would've had his back up but he didn't want another fight with her. Instead he flashed her half a smile and encouraged her to his chest. "Come 'ere." He said wedging her under his chin and wrapping his arms around her. "It's going to be alright."

She took the reassurance his embrace provided. This was the reason why she'd fallen in love with him; this was the part of Dean that kept her hoping for a future with him because when he wasn't being such a hard ass, he was the sweetest guy in the world.

= X =

Danny sat in his apartment staring at his phone. It had been over a week since he'd seen Christina and whenever he called she never had time to talk. He knew what that usually meant, he was getting the brush off and he'd thought things were going so well. The two weren't serious about each other – they weren't even really dating – but he felt a connection regardless, even though he suspected many men felt that way about her. Their relationship hadn't developed past holding hands and the occasional make out session, but he didn't feel she was in it like he was and he knew that was because her feelings for Dean weighed heavily around her shoulders. Thankfully he hadn't had any encounters with him since his attempt to stand up to him on her behalf, but he felt his presence in the room whenever they were together. It was his own fault for pursuing her when she'd honestly admitted not being over him, but something told him that he had to know her. Now he was sat like a love sick teenager waiting for her to call and he wasn't even sure she would. He'd seen Dean coming and going from her apartment more than usual lately, which was leading him to conclude that he had something to do with how little contact they were having and he hated that more than actually having no contact with her. He couldn't compete with Dean, he'd made it abundantly clear that he would lose the battle if he chose to pick it and he was right; they had way too much history for him to ever walk away with what he wanted – Christina would chose Dean every time.

With a sigh he dropped his cell phone on the couch next to where he sat and threw himself back in his seat. He was going out of his mind with speculation and over the last 24 hours Christina had ignored his calls. Yet, before he talked himself out of it, he picked up his phone to call her one more time before he went to work.

= X =

Christina breathed in Dean's smell, taking the moment of truce between them and using it to her full advantage. It had been a long time since they'd been this close to each other or this pleasant and she knew it was only because she was leaving for a while that the opportunity had come at all. She was soaked up in the feeling of his arms wrapped securely around her body when he dipped his head to kiss her on her forehead. She wasn't sure why, but she lifted her head in his direction and looked up at the man her heart was consumed by.

"I miss you." She confessed in a whisper.

He knew she didn't mean it literal, that she was simply making reference to the relationship they'd had before, and he moved his eyes to hers. "I miss you too."

The gaze seemed to intensify immediately, their eyes locked in some kind of trance, and his head lowered – her lips his sudden focal point. He wanted to kiss her and she wanted to be kissed. But as he inched closer, deciding to take his opportunity to finally lay his heart on his sleeve, her phone rang.

She jumped out of his arms to grab the phone from her pocket before it woke her son and answered the call, holding his eye. "Danny, hey." She whispered down the line as she made her way out of the room. "Sorry, I've been busy."

Dean looked up at the ceiling as her voice got fainter, "You couldn't cut me one break?" He whispered his question into the air before sighing heavily and leaving the room himself. The moment had gone and he wasn't about to get it back.

= X =

She rolled her eyes as she stood in her old bedroom with the phone pressed to her ear. There had been a definite connection between her and Dean before Danny had interrupted and she couldn't believe his call had come when it had. She paced back and forth. She wanted to get off the phone and see if there was a way of getting that moment back, but she knew it had already passed, which made her angry.

She sighed down the line, "I'm sorry Danny, but this just isn't going to work." She blurted out of the blue.

"What isn't?" He asked knowing exactly what she meant.

"I can't be with you. I doubt I'll ever be able to be with anyone that isn't Dean. So I think its best that we just end whatever it is we've got going on here."

The mention of her ex instantly put his back up, "You've barely give it a chance."

In turn, his aggression made her defensive. "Do you want to know what I was doing when you called?"

"What?"

"I was about to kiss Dean, and that's why we have to end it because you're not him, and I want him." She told him, not thinking how it came across. She had to be straight with him, and it had taken Charlie showing up to make her realise she wasn't being honest with herself. All of her relationships had been about finding a substitute for Dean, but there was no way anyone was going to fill that void no matter how long she looked because there was only one man for the job.

He was stunned. He'd known she was hung up on the Winchester man when they'd first met for coffee – she'd been upfront with him about that – but after all the time they'd spent together he thought he was making an impact too. Although it seemed that wasn't the case.

He cleared his throat so as not to emulate too much heartache because he knew it wouldn't help the situation. "Well I guess that's that then."

"I'm sorry Danny, but we can still be friends."

His eye roll went unseen. _Friends_, he thought. Her suggestion had been nothing more than a kick in the teeth. Why would he want to be friends when he'd had a taste of something more? Still, his presence in her life might make Dean uneasy and at this point it was all he could think about.

He forced a smile so she could hear it in his voice, "Yeah, I'd like that."

= X =

All the men in the lounge looked up when Christina walked in the room with DJ in her arms. She flashed the males of her life a glance in turn and settled her gaze on Castiel. "I'm ready, I've just got to say my goodbyes." He nodded, giving her the go ahead. She sighed as she turned to her father. "Take care of yourself while I'm gone old man. I don't want to come back to find you've done something reckless, OK?"

He nodded and stepped forward to embrace her in a hug. "I'll be right here waiting when you get back."

Tears welled up in her eyes. Even though she wasn't leaving forever, somehow it felt like it. As Bobby broke away from her, he took DJ from her arms.

"Alright little guy, you take care of your mom while you're gone." He said for effect, knowing he couldn't understand.

Christina turned to Sam. "Can I talk to you in the kitchen?"

"CJ, there's no need..." He started.

But her tone insisted. "Please?"

He threw a look at his brother and followed after her into the other room where they could have some measure of privacy.

She looked up at him. She could barely believe she'd seen the future she had for him, he looked so angelic. But the image was still printed strongly in her memory and she had to try and give him the tools to prevent it.

"You remember when you asked me what I saw in my vision, in the diner, the night Dean got back?" She asked, causing him to nod encouraging her to continue. "It was all kinds of bad. But somehow it started between you and your brother, so promise me – whatever happens – that you'll make an effort to keep things right between you. If you're united and strong they can't win."

He frowned, "You're talking like you're not coming back."

She cast a glance to the angel. "They're good protectors I guess but if the demons want me so bad, I bet they'll stop at nothing to get what they need." She said looking back at him. "Promise me you'll take care of your brother, and yourself."

He nodded, "I promise." He said enveloping her like her father had before returning to the lounge and taking DJ from Bobby.

Christina took a deep breath. This was the goodbye she wasn't looking forward to. It was the goodbye that wouldn't actually count for anything because she carried him everywhere with her. "Dean." She called to him, her voice breaking with emotion.

He walked over not wanting to hear the departure speech from her because if he had to march into Heaven himself to fetch her, she was coming home. He gulped back the emotion rising in his throat as he stopped in front of her, "CJ..." He started to stop her. But she wasn't about to be deterred.

"For once in your life Winchester try not to control every damn thing and just let me do this." She scolded him lovingly forcing him to purse his lips together.

"I don't need to hear any just in case speech CJ, you're going to be back here before you know it."

His resistance to hear goodbye made her smile as tears formed in her eyes. "I love you much more than you will ever know, sometimes more than you deserve, and – even though we're not together – I don't regret a single minute I spend loving you." She said as her tears spilled onto her cheeks. She lifted a hand to the side of his face and gently placed it at his jaw. "You're a good man Dean Winchester, don't you let anyone ever make you believe otherwise because it's that belief that will help you win."

He reached for her hand and removed it from its position, "You're coming back CJ." He insisted.

She broke her eyes from his and they dropped to the floor as her emotions got the better of her. But she nodded, "I just needed you to know."

"And I understand, but don't talk like I'm never going to see you again – I'm going to see you again."

She wiped away her tears, "I hope so." She whispered.

Reaching out, he lifted her chin so she was looking him in the eye, "And I'm going to be here waiting for both of you when you get back." With his last words, Dean walked over to collect his son from his brother. "Daddy's going to miss you little man. But me, Grandpa and your Uncle Sam have some things we've got to do. You're going to be safe with Castiel, and I'll see you in a few weeks OK." He said kissing the boy's forehead. "I love you."

= X =

Christina couldn't help the feeling of dread that washed over her when Castiel placed two fingers on her forehead. It felt more like she was being sent to her doom instead of her saviour, which had been the reason she hadn't agreed to it right away. Her gut instinct told her their solution was going to be just the opposite. Ultimately she trusted Castiel, but she'd seen enough corruption to know that it could run through Heaven as well as Hell – if she was to believe that Ruby had changed allegiance.

When she heard the angel speak she opened her eyes to find she wasn't in her Dad's house anymore, instead she stood in a white filled room with gold mouldings on the wall.

"Seems you're the best way to travel." She told him taking a look around her secret hideout.

It was blinding white, angelic clean – much cleaner than any human could get close to and it made her uneasy. It was so pristine, so surgical, that she wasn't sure she was going to be able to make it like home for her stay. She looked down at her son in her arms and back to the angel.

"I really appreciate this Cas, but I don't think I can stay here. It's too bright. I'm getting a headache."

He looked about the room in wonder, "This room is standard."

"And for angel eyes, I'm sure it's normal but my retina is starting to burn. Do you have anything with a dimmer switch?"

Again, he reached up to touch her forehead and when she opened her eyes, she was stood in her apartment. She frowned. "You've brought me home?"

"No. I've just moved you to a bigger room and made it look like your apartment."

She smiled, "Thank you Castiel."

= X =

Dean dropped the book he was reading from to his lap and sighed long and hard into the air meaning it didn't go unnoticed. But he didn't care that his expression had caught the attention of the men he shared the room with. She'd barely been gone five minutes and he already missed her. Even though they hadn't spent that much time together of late, just knowing she was within a ten minute radius made him feel better. So – although he knew she was with Castiel – not knowing exactly her proximity to him made him feel like he was missing a piece of himself, and that's how he knew he still loved her. But he'd been too proud to tell her before she'd left, wanting to say it under less dramatic circumstances so she didn't think he was saying it out of desperation or to make her feel better and he knew her well enough to know that's how she would've spun it. Still, he wished he'd given her an indication.

Bobby looked across at him, "What is it boy? Spit it out."

"Do you think she knew?" He asked, suddenly not caring that his heart was escaping onto his sleeve.

Sam's glare softened. He knew exactly what he was talking about. "She's always known." He said, trying to make him feel better.

His brother shook his head, "I don't know, I've been pretty cruel."

"And you think that matters?"

He raised his eyebrows, "Maybe not before. But now-"

"Trust me, she knew exactly what you were doing when you told her you didn't want her and she knew it was only to protect her."

"Yeah, and it didn't work."

"That's not your fault Dean."

"It feels that way."

"Boy, you shouldn't put all this on yourself. CJ knew exactly what she was doing when she got involved with you." Bobby assured him. "And she wouldn't have it any other way."

"I just hope she doesn't live to regret it."

Sam sighed softly, reacting to his brother's anguish, "She's safe with Cas."

= X =

Once Castiel had left her and DJ alone, Christina took a proper look around. Everything was in exactly the right place and it was decorated the same. She couldn't find one thing out of place, and it put her at ease. The only thing that was missing was the view from her apartment window. There were no windows; there wasn't even a front door, just walls. However, it was familiar and she felt better about being cooped up there for the better part of three weeks. She had to face it, she'd stayed in worse places and this was everything home was – except it was far away from her father and the Winchesters.

It was impossible to prevent the thoughts of Dean that appeared immediately. She couldn't get the look in his eyes during their goodbye out of her mind. It was almost as if he was hiding something from her in order for her to go through with her promise to leave with Castiel, and she couldn't shake the feeling. She ran over their conversation and her feeling of dread returned. Did he know something she didn't? Had he insisted he would see her again so emphatically because he knew he wouldn't? Was she going to die at the hands of the angels while she believed she was being protected? Or was she simply being paranoid because she didn't like the idea of hiding instead of standing her ground?

She grabbed her cell phone from her pocket and checked her signal, but was disappointed to find she had no reception. She held it up above her head and checked again, still nothing. So she moved about the room, until she had enough coverage that she could make a call and ironically it was near where the window should have been that she found it. She hit speed dial for her Dad and waited, pleading that her phone would hold out for the call.

Three rings and he answered. "Hello, Dad?" She spoke quickly, worried that she wouldn't have time to ask her questions.

"Who is this?" She heard her father's voice ask down the line.

"Dad, it's me."

She could hear the deep frown etched on his brow. "CJ?"

"Dad, can you hear me?"

"I can't- You're breaking up. What's wrong?"

Suddenly the phone cut out and Christina looked at it with a frown. Instantly she looked up to the ceiling. "Castiel! Get down here!" And before she had time to blink he was stood in front of her.

"You bellowed." He said in his usual monotone voice.

She pointed her phone at him, "What the hell is going on? I just tried calling my Dad and he couldn't hear me."

He glanced at the object in her hand, "Cell reception up here is somewhat sketchy."

"I'm higher than the damn clouds; I should have the best reception in the world." She demanded.

But despite her raised voice, the angel was serene. "It doesn't work like that."

"Then tell me how you expect me to contact them if I have no signal."

"You don't. You're in hiding and that means no contact."

Suddenly they weren't the only ones in the room, but another being had appeared and she could only assume he was another angel.

"Castiel, what is going on here?" He asked.

"This is Christina Singer. She and her son needed protection from the demons..." He started to explain.

"You brought her here?" He questioned outraged.

"I was told to make sure she was safe."

He seemed to become instantly angry, something she had never experienced from an angel before. "This is not acceptable. She has to go back; you have to take her back."

"Zachariah..."

"Now Castiel!"

"If the demons get to her it would almost certainly mean we'll fail to stop Lilith."

"Cas, who is this?" Christina asked, not liking the direction of the conversation.

"He's my superior." He answered.

"And as such I order you to send her back." Zachariah told him.

"I promised the Winchesters..."

"Fine, you won't do it, I will." And with that he reached out and touched her forehead with his fingers.

= X =

Christina opened her eyes with a groan as she felt a blinding pain in her skull, like she'd been hit with a hammer. Slowly she sat up and looked around the room to find she was back in her apartment. Her brain was fuzzy so she rubbed at her head to try and force some clarity but there were gaps in her memories, like they had gotten jumbled somehow. Slowly she climbed off the bed. She remembered being taken by Castiel to make sure she was safe, but she had no recollection as to what she was being saved from. She could see the face of the angel that had been furious when he'd discovered her and insisted on her return to her home, but his name escaped her. And she felt like she was missing something, but she couldn't place her finger on what that something was.

She made her way through the apartment and frowned when she saw evidence of a child. She had no memory of knowing a child, let alone having one. Still, she made her way to the front door and left her apartment.

As she stepped out onto the street, she knew exactly where she was and where she needed to go in order to get to her father's. But there was definitely something wrong, and she hoped that Bobby would have the answers to put it right.

= X =

Castiel looked at the 6-month-old child and back to his superior. "What should I do with him?"

"He stays here." Zachariah responded.

"You've sent his mother back, why?"

"It's not up to you to question orders Castiel." He reminded him. "The boy is innocent and defenceless. We'll need him if things don't go to plan."

= X =

It didn't take her long to get to the Salvage Yard but as she made her way toward the house the Impala '67 parked out front caught her eye. _Nice car_, she thought looking it over. She hadn't seen the vehicle before so she knew it didn't belong to her father, but she didn't know all his hunter friends so she just assumed it belonged to one of them.

Walking in the back door, she called out to him and heard three sets of footsteps on their way to her. She smiled as she laid eyes on Bobby, as far as she remembered she hadn't seen him for years but the fact she had an apartment around the corner couldn't mean that was correct.

"Hey Dad."

"CJ?" One of the men that had appeared with him said, almost disbelieving it was her.

She moved her eyes to his. He had the clearest green eyes she had ever seen. But she didn't know him. "Who are you?"

Dean frowned and shot a look to Sam and Bobby before shifting his attention back to her. "It's me, Dean."

"Do I know you?"

"You don't remember?"

She sighed, "No. I woke up with a blinding headache and I can't remember some things."

"Where DJ?"

She frowned, "Who's DJ?"

"Your son, _our _son."

Her eyes dropped to the floor. That's why there had been toys on the floor at her apartment, she was a mother, and that's why she felt like she was missing something. She had a son. But she didn't know where he was.

Bobby made a move toward her. "CJ, what are you doing here?"

"Castiel had to bring me back."

Sam frowned, "Why?"

"He wasn't supposed to take me up there."

"But he was protecting you."

"I'm not supposed to be up there. He sent me back." With desperation etched on her face, she looked up at her father. "Why can't I remember? What's wrong with me?"

He wrapped his arms around her, "It's OK Princess, we'll figure it out."


	15. Chapter 15

**FOURTEEN**

Dean looked over his shoulder at the couch in the lounge where Christina was perched as he, Sam and Bobby huddled together in the hallway. She had returned half an hour ago without any memory of the Winchesters, her son or why she was back and nobody had any answers for her sudden amnesia.

"What the hell is going on Bobby?" Dean asked in a hush tone.

He screwed up his face in reply, "Like I know."

"How come she remembers Castiel but doesn't remember us?" He asked motioning to his brother.

"Maybe angel transport has side effects." He guessed.

"I was zipped back in time and I came through it remembering everything. Why is she any different?"

He shrugged, "Maybe it's because of her visions."

"And maybe someone deleted those memories on purpose." Sam suggested.

His brother frowned at him, "She's not a computer. You can't just go in and delete the files you want to get rid of."

"I know, that's not how amnesia works, but maybe it's not normal amnesia."

"Really Matlock?" Dean asked with sarcasm seeping into his words.

"You know who would know?" Bobby asked thinking aloud and they all automatically came to the same conclusion.

Dean looked up, "Castiel!" He shouted causing Christina to jump.

The angel appeared within the blink of an eye and all the men moved toward him.

"Do you want to explain to us what the hell is going on?" Dean asked with anger evident in his tone.

Castiel's eyes shifted to the young woman in the room, "Our orders were to return her."

"You were supposed to be protecting her." Sam reminded him.

"I have to follow orders Sam."

"And what do we do about the demons that are after her?"

"I've been assured that she's no longer in danger."

"So what's changed in the last two hours because she was in danger then?"

"It seems I was wrong."

Dean was outraged. "So what the hell did you do to her while she was up there Cas because she doesn't remember anything?"

He frowned and realised all too quickly that it had been Zachariah's doing. "Nothing. I wasn't the one who sent her back."

"Well, fix it."

"It's not that simple. There's a reason she was meant to forget."

"What reason could there be for that?"

Alarm bells went off in Sam's head, "You don't know, do you?"

"I'm only given knowledge of things I need to know to do my job." He stated.

"Well, why don't you go and find out what the hell is going on from the man upstairs?" Dean suggested. "And while you're there, get my son."

"Dean Junior is better off with us."

He raised his eyebrows in astonishment, "Do you think I'm going to trust you with DJ after what you've done to his mother?"

"I won't return him to you. He is far too valuable. If the demons were to take him..."

Suddenly Christina got to her feet, "He's right. DJ is better off where no one can get to him."

"You don't know that."

"I trust the angels."

"After what they've done to you?" He exclaimed.

"I don't like this anymore than you do. I can't remember a damn thing when it comes to you two, including my baby." She said with a raised voice to enforce her point. "So leave him where he is, I don't want him picking up on the fact that I don't know him."

Dean looked at her. He hadn't truly embraced what it must feel like for her not to remember. He knew she lived for their son, and for her to suddenly not know he existed must have been torment for her. He nodded. "If that's what you want."

She mirrored his action. "Let's concentrate on fixing me first." She shifted her eyes to Castiel. "Go and see if you can find out why this was done to me."

He in turn nodded and disappeared before their eyes.

With a sigh, Christina returned to her seat on the couch as the room fell silent. The men all went back to the only thing they knew to do in a situation like this, research and she sat searching her memory for an indication to anything she'd suddenly forgotten.

The brothers seemed to know her so well, and it was frustrating that she didn't recognise them, or remember ever meeting them before that day. There wasn't even a glimpse of a past with them and it concerned her beyond what words could express. If she had a child with the man who went by the name Dean, like he said, then surely there should be some trace of him somewhere. She was lost. It was like someone had taken the time to remove them in particular and anything involving them from her memories for reasons no one could fathom. But her concerns always came back to not knowing the child she'd given birth to.

There was one memory that stuck out above the others, a guy called Danny, who – by all accounts – she was dating, if her recollection of him was correct.

She looked over at her father, who was sat at his desk, assuming he could fill in any blanks. "Who's Danny?" She asked only to hear a sigh from Dean on the other side of the room.

It seemed Bobby heard it too because he glanced up at him before addressing her question, "He's the guy you've been seeing."

"How long?"

He shrugged, "Maybe a month."

That was it. Dean had heard enough. He cleared his throat, "Alright, how can she remember him when she's only known him five minutes?" He asked her father.

But she responded, sadness etched in her voice. "I'm sorry Dean. I can't control what I remember. Don't you think that if I could that I would remember my own son?"

"I'm not saying this is your fault. I'm just trying to make some sense of what's going on."

She jumped up to her feet in an irritated rage. "There is no sense to this! It's ridiculous that I would remember some guy I've maybe been seeing a month but I wouldn't remember my own child. It's absolutely ludicrous that I know where my apartment is but I don't remember coming back to South Dakota. I didn't even think I'd seen my own father for years but here I am, living around the corner from him. Please, if you have an explanation as to why it's just the bits of my life that involve you two that have been erased, I'd love to hear it."

"I guess we won't know anything until Cas gets back." Sam said breaking the growing tension between them. It amazed him that even with her loss of memory that they were repeating the same behaviour they had before.

Christina sighed. She desperately wanted her memory back, without it she felt like half a person. She knew she'd been adopted; that Bobby had saved her when her parents were killed. She recalled growing up in his house and knowing he was a hunter but as far as her being a hunter, like she'd been told – that knowledge escaped her. But she put that down to being trained by John Winchester, Sam and Dean's father. It stood to reason that if she didn't remember them, that she'd have no memory of their Dad either.

She reached up and tapped the side of her head, "Uh, I know it's in there somewhere! I just can't get to it. It's like a vault that I haven't got the combination for and it's beginning to piss me off."

Sam immediately donned his puppy dog sympathy expression. "I'm sorry. But angel information is hard to come by. I mean, we've been dealing with demons for years so we know pretty much everything there is to know about them, but the angel stuff is new to us so we don't know what they're capable of."

= X =

Castiel was not looking forward to incurring Zachariah's wrath, which was likely to happen when he questioned him about Christina's memory loss. No soldier was supposed to question his superior and when it came to the angels nothing was truer. The penalty for doing such could be catastrophic. Regardless he was curious as to why he'd only taken the memories of the Winchesters from her.

"Zachariah." He spoke softly as he approached him.

He turned toward him. "Castiel."

"I've just come from the Winchesters. It seems when you returned Christina, she lost some of her memories."

He smiled. "They'll be returned to her."

"You did it on purpose?"

"If she has no memories of the Winchesters or her abilities, she'll be of no use to the demons. Problem solved."

"What if they come after her anyway?"

"They won't." He replied confidently.

He frowned, "You didn't have to take her memories. We could've just kept her up here."

"It's too dangerous to have her so close to us with her ability. It could be harmful to us."

"With all due respect, what secrets are you scared she'll uncover?"

His smug grin stayed on his face, "Not secrets Castiel. But there's some information that the human's should not be privy too and who knows what she'd see in her visions once she left. We can't take the risk that she'll see anything to prevent the outcome we want."

"How could anything she discovered avert us from stopping Lilith?"

He hesitated. "She isn't a profit Castiel. She just simply has visions – the likes of which cannot be explained – so her close proximity to us could only result in more harm than good."

= X =

Christina had been sat quietly mulling over the little memories she had. It seemed as though the Winchesters were an integral part of her life because without her memories of them there weren't a lot left. The few things that she'd been told about their history hadn't so much as sparked a flashback but she resolved that the more she knew, the more likely it would be that she'd remember them.

Bobby had left to make some phone calls to other hunters to see if they had any inclination to what was happening to her and Sam had gone out to get food so it was just her and Dean in the lounge, sat on the couch. She instantly thought she'd use the opportunity to get to know him better and quiz him about their past.

She cleared her throat, breaking the awkward silence between them. "So, how long have we known each other?"

Dean's eyes rolled to the right as he tried to mentally calculate an answer to her question, "Um... 22 years."

"Wow, that long?"

He nodded. "Yup."

Another silence settled on them. It was shorter than the last one, but awkward all the same. "This is weird for you isn't it?" She asked. "Because I look like her but I'm not her."

He turned to face her, "You're still her CJ. You may not have all your memories, but you're still you."

"Yeah, but you look at me and you remember all this stuff we've done together and I don't even recognise your face."

"It's a little frustrating."

An ironic laugh escaped her lips. "A little? You should try being the one who doesn't remember. It's like a big chunk of my life just vanished."

It was strange, even though she didn't remember their history; she was still drawn to him, like an invisible force was pushing them together. She could see exactly why she was attracted to him; he was the perfect balance of charm and bad boy flare. He looked like he'd be her type, even though she had no idea what her type was. Although she did remember having a boyfriend that resembled him, Charlie Logan, so she assumed there was a certain look she went for and Dean was obviously the template she measured all the men she dated against.

"Why did we break up?" She asked, forcing more conversation between them.

Dean was suddenly uncomfortable. He wondered how long it would take for her to question him about their relationship. "We never dated." He confessed.

She frowned, "But we have a baby."

He cleared his throat. "He uh, he wasn't planned."

That's when it clicked. Not the memory but she could see it etched all over his face. "Oh, you're scared of commitment." She smiled.

A smile of his own made its way to his lips. "Yeah, something like that."

"Am I too much for you to handle?" She asked playfully. She felt strong and confident and guessed by what she'd seen of him so far that he liked to be the one calling the shots.

"Oh, you're a handful. But that isn't why we're not together."

"So, why aren't we?"

He hesitated, not sure he wanted to confide in her when she had absolutely no recollection of him. But he bit the bullet. "Because I'm an idiot and I don't know a good thing when I have it."

"What does that mean?"

He sighed, "We were together, before I went to Hell..."

She raised her eyebrows, "You went to Hell?"

"CJ."

She immediately wore a regretful expression. "Right, sorry. Carry on."

"Well, when I came back, I thought I couldn't be with you so I took back my feelings. Except when you met Danny, I got uh..." He coughed, feeling sudden discomfort for unexpectedly needing to be so honest with her. "Jealous."

"You never told me, did you?" She guessed by his demeanour.

He shook his head, "No, but before Cas took you away, we had a moment."

"What happened?"

Again, he cleared his throat, "I was going to kiss you."

"Why didn't you?"

"Danny called."

She paused, "I'm sorry Dean." She said reaching out to place her hand on his forearm as a means of comfort. "I love Danny and maybe that's only because I have no memory of you, but those feelings are the only ones I can trust right now."

He nodded sorrowfully. As much as he wanted her, he knew he'd have to wait until she was in possession of all her emotions before he could expect her to make a decision regarding them.

_Bobby's House, South Dakota – Some Time Later_

As her father and the Winchesters continued to trawl through books trying to find a reason for her sudden amnesia, Christina sighed as she sat on the couch doing the same.

Suddenly she slammed the book shut, "Don't we have any information at all about angels?" She asked frustrated that she'd been suffering from memory loss for hours and still no one had an explanation for it.

Sam sighed sympathetically. "Until six weeks ago no one thought angels existed."

"Well, where the hell is Castiel? Shouldn't he be back already?"

No sooner had she mentioned his name, the angel appeared, and as quick as she laid her eyes on him she jumped to her feet. "Finally! What did you find out?"

"Your memories of your visions and the Winchesters have been taken to protect you." He replied in a matter of fact tone.

She frowned, "I have visions? No one told me that. Why didn't anyone tell me that?" She asked looking around at the men in her presence.

Dean shot her a look, "Not now." He said turning his attention to the angel. "How is that supposed to protect her?"

"If she has no memory of her ability, the demons won't be able to get anything from her." Castiel answered.

"But they still might come after her." Sam pointed out.

"They won't."

"You don't know that." He protested getting to his feet to enforce the issue. "Just because she doesn't remember having visions doesn't mean they wouldn't be able to access them and then kill her."

"They're hidden where they won't be able to find them. This is the best way to ensure her safety."

"They don't know that so they'll still try." Sam insisted refusing to let the subject drop.

But something else was bothering Dean, "Why couldn't you just keep her with the man upstairs?"

"There were too many risks." The angel let slip.

"What risks Castiel? The place is crawling with angels. Who's getting into the room upstairs without an invite?"

His question was a good one and Castiel had to think quickly, and off the top of his head. "Although every precaution was taken, there were no certainties that Christina would be kept safe."

"Better up there than down here."

"We disagree."

Dean eyed him up and down, "What aren't you telling us?"

"That's all the information I have." He lied. He'd been given strict instructions not to divulge every detail to them so he could only share what he'd been permitted to.

= X =

By the time night had fallen, Christina had reluctantly been convinced to get some sleep in the room of the house that had belonged to her since she was 8-years-old. Bobby hadn't wanted her to be out of his sight, so leaving to go back to her apartment hadn't been an option – even though she had suggested it. She'd spent the better part of the day coming to terms with her new disability, but – once she had – insisted that she go about her life as normal as possible until it was safe enough for her to have her memories returned. Only her father had refused to let her be alone because without her knowledge of hunting, he knew she would be vulnerable to an attack.

If he was honest, Dean was relieved when she finally agreed to go to bed. He had already heard Danny's name more than he cared to, and her suggestion to let him know she was alright hadn't sat easy with him. Having her continue with her life pretending they hadn't meant anything to each other was one thing, but to go about it like he didn't exist was something else. Surprisingly though, his honesty with her earlier had contributed to her being more comfortable around him, instead of shying away she seemed to respond and interact with him easier and he could only see that as a good thing. He hated being a stranger to her, because all their history was what made their relationship what it was and without it, there was nothing left.

Sam glanced over at his brother. He knew Christina's amnesia had been just as hard on him as it had been for her. He thrived off his relationship with her, whether they were getting on or they weren't, and for her to suddenly not have any memory of him had sent him into a tailspin. He threw his attention to the woman's father, "So, what's our next move?" He asked hoping he had a plan.

But he didn't look hopeful as he sat back in his seat behind his desk. "I wish I knew kid, but I think we might have to play this one out the way the angels what us to."

Dean coughed, causing both men to look at him. "Yeah, about that... did anyone else get the feeling Cas was hiding something?"

Sam nodded, "Yeah, but it's not like we can torture it out of him Dean."

His brother cocked his head to the side at the suggestion. He was right; he'd never tortured an angel for information before but he was confident that it wouldn't go well. Raising his hand to his brow, he rubbed at it. "I could do with a beer."

Bobby paused as he lifted his bottle to his mouth and apologised with his expression. "Last one."

"Great. Got anything else?"

"CJ had the last shot of whiskey before she went to bed."

"I'll go on a beer run." Sam said getting to his feet and walking out before he could be stopped.

= X =

Christina lay in her bed looking up at the ceiling. She'd been ordered to bed some hours ago and so far hadn't been able to sleep. The day kept replaying in her mind. Dean had been honest with her earlier, confiding in her that she had always been more invested in their relationship than he had, but all she could picture was her with Danny and she knew she was restless because she wanted to let him know she was alright. She had a feeling he'd be worried about her and she had an overwhelming urge to see him. Lying in bed trying to sleep wasn't working.

She threw the blankets off her and got out of bed. She had a vague memory of sneaking out of her room when she was younger, down the drainpipe that ran down the outside of the house. Slipping on her jeans and her boots, she headed over to the window – checking over her shoulder periodically to make sure her bedroom door remained closed. But as she was about to open her access to freedom, she spotted Sam walking out of the house and she quickly ducked behind the wall out of view in case he looked up at her room.

= X =

Dean sat on the couch with a sigh. He was plagued by the feeling that Castiel had been hiding something in his explanation of why Christina had been returned and why she was lacking her memories. In fairness, he'd always been suspicious of the angels since he knew they existed because he couldn't understand why it was only now that they were showing an interest in what was happening on earth. But the explanation they'd given for their sudden change of mind regarding protection for Christina made him more apprehensive.

"Something doesn't smell right about this Bobby." He said voicing his opinion. "Why would they bring her back?"

He nodded to agree. "I don't like it anymore than you do. I think she'd be safer with them than with us. But what are we going to do? We can't force them to take her."

He raised his eyebrows in agreement. "And why would they return her without her memories of me or Sam?"

"I guess to take her memories of her visions they had to remove everything she remembered about hunting and you two are a big part of that."

"No, I'm not buying it. There's a reason why they wanted her memories of us gone Bobby and my gut is telling me it's going to lead nowhere good."

= X =

Sam walked out of the store and inadvertently stumbled upon them under a street light in the distance. A frown met his features and he ducked the closest wall for cover. He didn't want them to see him. He had no idea what they were doing together – they were too far away for him to overhear anything – but he had to find out exactly why Danny was anywhere near Ruby.

Since he'd cut off all communication with her he hadn't so much as seen her, so for her to suddenly be in South Dakota only intrigued his interest. It didn't make sense that she was looking for him because she knew exactly where Bobby lived so there had to be another reason for her late night rendezvous with the man Christina was seeing, and he aimed to get to the bottom of it.

Peering from behind the wall, he was in time to see Ruby smile at him before they parted ways but he waited a minute before making his way back to Bobby's to make sure neither of them saw him. If he was going to find out what they were doing together, he had to have the element of surprise.

= X =

Being sure the coast was clear, Christina quietly opened her access to her escape route and threw her legs over the ledge. Grabbing a firm hold of the pipe, she jumped out and slid all the way down. But when her feet hit the ground she felt a sharp pain at the base of her spine. She reached back and rubbed the spot that had caused her discomfort with a frown. She didn't remember suffering with backache before – but then, she didn't remember a lot of things lately. She tested her ability to move and when the pain subsided a minute later, she continued her escape. She knew Sam wouldn't have gone far and they couldn't know she was leaving. She had to see Danny.

= X =

Sam rushed inside Bobby's like a man possessed. What he'd seen had him in a tailspin. His immediate conclusion was that Danny's allegiance with Ruby was a demonic one and he knew his brother would jump to the same one.

"Dean, I just saw Ruby..." He stated out of breath. "...with Danny."

Bobby frowned as he got to his feet, "Are you sure?"

He nodded. "She was talking to him and I couldn't hear what they were saying but they seemed pretty friendly."

"Did you ask her?" Dean asked.

He shook his head, "No. I didn't want them to see me. I thought it was best to catch them off guard."

"I knew there was something off about that guy." He said, jumping to his feet and grabbing his jacket to leave.

"Where are you going?"

"To confront the bastard. I bet he's been feeding that bitch Intel all along."

Sam instantly thought of Christina and his eyes went to the stairs, "Do you think she knows?"

"I doubt it. That's one thing he won't want her to know."

"Who's going to tell her?"

He hesitated and threw his jacket back down, "I will."

= X =

Danny opened his apartment door and frowned when he saw Christina stood the other side. "CJ."

She smiled and leaned forward to land a kiss on his lips, "Hey baby. You miss me?"

When she pulled away, he looked at her like she'd grown an extra head. Just that morning she had ended their relationship over the phone and now she was kissing him on his doorstep. "Are you OK?" He asked as she invited herself inside.

"Yeah." She responded as though he was asking a stupid question. "Why?"

He closed his front door, "What are you doing here?"

She spun toward him, "I thought you'd want to know that I'm OK."

His frown returned, "Are you... OK?"

"It was touch and go there for a while, but yeah, I think I am."

His curiosity was spiked. "What happened?"

She sighed, "Oh you know, I just had a little angel lobotomy."

"Angel what?"

She rubbed at her weary brow, "Uh, I lost some memories."

A light immediately switched on, suddenly her being there made perfect sense. "How?"

"It's not important. The main thing is that I remember you, I remember us." She said gaining on him and pressing her body up close to his.

As she strained on her tiptoes to reach his mouth with hers, he unconsciously dipped his head allowing her to meet her target as intended. This kiss was different to the one's preceding it. There was feeling behind it, much stronger than the one's she'd had before. He could feel her desire for him and it evoked his for her.

= X =

Dean stood outside her bedroom door and took a deep breath. He had to prepare himself for what he was about to do. If he knew Christina, she'd swear he was doing it to poison her against Danny – at least she would've if she remembered their history. In reality, he had no idea how she was going to react to the news he was about to break to her.

He turned the doorknob and walked into her bedroom. Slowly he approached the bed, "CJ." He called out softly so as not to startle her. But as he got closer his voice got louder. It wasn't until he reached over to shake her awake that he realised she wasn't in the bed and that it had just been pillows positioned to make it look like she was lay sleeping.

"Bobby! She's gone!" He shouted at the top of his voice to be heard downstairs.

Sam was the first one to the room, "Dean."

"She's gone."

"Did the demons get her?"

He looked about the room and instantly noticed her window was open. "No. She snuck out."

"Yeah, she used to do that a lot." Bobby let them know as he reached the room.

"Where do you think she went?" Sam asked anyone who had a suggestion.

Dean didn't have to think about it. "Danny."

= X =

"I don't imagine I have long before they realise I'm missing." She told the man she'd snuck out to be with.

"Who are _they_?" He countered.

"My dad and the Winchesters." She replied causing him to roll his eyes at the mention of the brothers and she picked up on it right away. "You don't like them?"

"Not them, just Dean."

She was curious, "Why?"

"He and I have butted heads."

"Does that have something to do with me?"

He half nodded. "He thinks he knows what's best for you and I disagree."

"And that is?"

"He doesn't like us being together."

"I guess that explains the eye roll every time I've talked about you today."

"I can't imagine he'd be thrilled that you remember me."

"Especially when I don't remember him."

His brow creased at her revelation. "You don't remember him?"

"No, my memories of him, Sam and my son have been suppressed."

"Why? How?"

She knew she couldn't answer his questions with complete honesty. Having a hunter as a father meant certain things were kept secret and she couldn't imagine that she'd broken those rules to bring him in the loop when they'd only been dating a month. So she had to think of something to tell him that would be convincing.

"We don't know. It's just like they fell out of my head." She lied.

"That must be awful."

"It's frustrating to say the least." She sighed. "And I just wanted to let you know I'm OK. But I should go before they notice I'm not there."

He nodded, "OK."

= X =

Dean and Sam were conducting a floor to floor search of the building where Christina lived trying to find Danny's apartment when she stepped out into the hall ahead of them.

"Get away from him CJ, he's a demon." Dean called out to her cocking his salt loaded shotgun and aiming it in his direction.

She turned to face him wearing a frown, "What are you talking about?"

"Danny's a demon."

The accused stepped out further into the hall, "A what?"

Suddenly Christina began to laugh, "You need help for your paranoia Dean."

"Sam saw him with Ruby." Dean said.

But that only made her frown, "Who's that?"

"She's a demon."

She looked at his brother, "Sam."

"It's true." He confirmed as they got closer to her position.

She looked back to Danny, "You were with a demon today?"

"Listen to what you're saying CJ." He replied. "You're talking about demons? There's no such thing."

She rolled her eyes; "I don't have time for the _'you're crazy'_ speech, so just tell me if you were with a demon today."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Don't listen to him CJ, he's a black eyed son of a-"

"No he's not." She said, automatically dismissing the claim.

"You don't know that."

"Actually, I do." She countered. "Because he had to cross over a devil's trap every time he walked into my apartment. It's something I just decided to do when I moved in."

"Then why did Sam see him with Ruby?" Dean asked training his weapon on the man from yards away.

Danny turned his attention to him. Despite having a shotgun aimed at his head, he remained calm, "You going to shoot me Dean?"

"If I have to."

"Nobody's shooting anybody until I've got some answers." Christina warned both Winchesters. "Danny, answer the question."

"I don't know any Ruby, and that's the truth." He replied.

"They wouldn't lie to me about this, not today."

"Well, I don't know anyone named Ruby. The only woman I was with today was someone asking for directions, she didn't tell me her name."

"C'mon CJ, you gotta know he's lying to save himself." Dean exclaimed.

She eyed the man from her memories, "There's only one way to be sure, I've got some Holy Water in my apartment."

But before she could move a muscle Sam pulled a hipflask from his pocket, "Here." He said handing it to her.

Danny frowned at her, "What are you doing?"

"It's just a bit of water Danny." She replied unscrewing the cap. "If you're not a demon, it won't hurt a bit. But if you are, you should know that Dean's probably going to kill you."

"You people are crazy. You belong somewhere in a padded cell." He countered. "We're done CJ. After this I never want to see you again."

"Fine." She replied cold and detached before throwing the contents of the flask in his face.

When nothing happened, Christina let out a sigh of relief but he was outraged and retreated inside his apartment, slamming the door shut behind him.

She turned to address Dean, "Satisfied?" She asked before storming through him and his brother to head back to her fathers.

He looked at Sam and shrugged, "I guess we were wrong."


	16. Chapter 16

**FIFTEEN**

Ruby stepped out from behind the corner once she heard the Winchesters heading after Christina. Her plan to get them to suspect Danny had worked perfectly, although it had no real purpose. It was simply a test. And it turned out that Sam didn't trust her anymore now, than he had a year ago in Illinois when she helped him with the deadly sins. It was getting tiring having to constantly prove herself to him. She thought by now – after everything they'd been through – that he'd have some appreciation for her going against her own kind. But it seemed Sam Winchester didn't need her since his brother's return, and she aimed to change that.

It hadn't escaped her attention that Christina was missing some of her facilities. She'd distinctly heard her ask who she was when Dean had mentioned her by name and she'd prided herself on being memorable, so if the Singer girl didn't remember her, the chances were that there were other things she'd lost the memory of. She smiled to herself. Christina's lack of knowledge could be to her advantage, but she had to play it right. She had to test her weakness and find a way to use it against her. She'd always been a pain hanging over her head and this was a perfect way to go about eliminating her as an obstacle. She needed complete control over Sam if her plan was going to work, and any outside interference was only going to set her back from her deadline.

= X =

Dean and Sam walked behind Christina as she sprinted off ahead on her way back to Bobby's.

"How long do you think it's going to take her to forgive you this time?" The youngest brother asked.

The eldest shrugged in response, "I figure she doesn't remember any of our other fights so she shouldn't be mad for long."

"But CJ can hold a grudge forever, and you practically just got rid of the one memory of happiness that she had."

He threw a stern look his way, "Thanks for the support."

He made a gesture to her, "Does she look like she's happy you interfered?"

"You were the one who told me you'd seen him with Ruby."

"So it's my fault?"

But Christina's sudden change of direction stopped their disagreement from escalating into a full scale argument. "CJ, your Dad's is this way." Dean shouted ahead.

"I'm not going back there yet." She replied.

He shot his brother a look, "Then where the hell are you going?"

"Bar. I need a drink."

"Do you think that's a good idea?"

"I'll tell you in a couple of hours." She shouted spinning around in a circle before going on her way.

As he watched her casually carry on toward her destination, he took his cell phone from his pocket and dialled Bobby's number.

"Hey, what's going on?" He asked answering his phone before it had a chance to ring out a second time.

"Danny isn't a demon, but he dumped CJ so she wants to go for a drink." Dean laid it out for him.

Bobby's brow creased, "Is that a good idea?"

"We both know CJ's never been very good at holding her liquor so she'll probably have a couple of shots, curse me out and then pass out. So I'll drag her back to yours then."

"Alright, but don't let her out of your sight."

"I don't intend to."

= X =

Ruby paced back and forth in her hotel room. Christina's sudden lack of memory was playing into her hands. Her plan relied on her not being able to see the future she had in store and Sam being completely alone and shut out from everyone he cared about. Things were right on track and suddenly all the hard work was starting to bear fruit.

They'd agreed to have no contact while she gained Sam's trust, but they no longer needed to put themselves in danger in order to remove the gift the Singer adoptee no longer had. She dialled the number and pinned the phone to her ear.

"You shouldn't be calling." The voice the other end stated.

"I know, but I had to warn you, there's no point in snatching Christina. Her memories have been erased."

"The angels?"

"They've obviously figured out she was in danger. We have no use for her now; the angels have done our job for us. If she can't see what's going to happen, there's no need for you to risk exposure."

"And what if they give them back to her?"

"By then it could be too late."

"We should kill her just to be sure. Is she protected?"

"The Winchesters are following her around like guard dogs. But I should be able to get close to her without causing suspicion. I'll lay the ground work and let you know when the coast is clear."

"What about the boy?"

"I don't know."

= X =

Christina didn't wait for the brothers to catch up to her before she walked into the bar and surveyed the inside. There weren't many customers; just the odd regular and they barely paid any attention to her as she made her way to the bar to place her order.

"Two beers and one Jack and coke." She said to the bartender.

He was roughly her age, with dark hair and bright blue eyes. He stood taller than her at about 5' 10" and was moderately built. She could immediately see why he ran a bar, he had a mischievous look about him and he seemed like the kind of guy that girls would just offer themselves to hoping she'd be the one to change his womanly ways. The way she imagined Dean was.

"Rough day?" He asked grabbing two bottles from the fridge and screwing off the caps.

Before she had a chance to respond, Sam and Dean walked through the door. "'Bout time." She said watching the man behind the counter pour coke into her measure of Jack Daniels. She grabbed the glass and knocked it back before looking at Dean, "Pay the man."

Begrudgingly he took his wallet from his pocket as he got closer and gave the male $20 as she placed her glass back on the bar. "Pour me another, and keep them coming."

"You're really going to do this?" The eldest brother asked as he watched her remove her jacket. "You know, getting drunk isn't going to make you feel any better. It's just going to make you feel like crap in the morning."

"I can't feel any worse than I already do." She responded.

"Dean's right CJ, this isn't the answer." Sam spoke up.

"Relax Sam; I just want to cut loose for a few hours. Surely you can understand that."

"I understand that today's been hard on you but I don't see how this is going to make you feel better."

She took her refilled glass from the bar and knocked it back like the first, "You don't have to. I'm doing this regardless of whether you think it's a good idea or not." She stated, slamming her glass down on the bar and turning her gaze to Dean. "Have you got a quarter?"

He frowned, "What for?"

"It's dead in here. I want to put on some music." She said motioning to the jukebox at the back of the room.

He sighed and delved into his jeans for any change before holding it in his hand and sifting through it to find what she'd asked for. He handed it to her and he watched as she bounced toward the music box. He threw a glance to his brother and picked up the opened bottle on the bar before taking a sip from it.

"You're just going to let her go ahead with this?" Sam asked astonished as his brother leaned on the bar and music began to play throughout the room.

"You know how hard it is to stop that woman doing anything she sets her mind on, so if she wants to drink, I say we let her." He replied as she started dancing her way toward him.

When she got to him, Christina reached out to grab him by the hand, "Dance with me."

But he quickly shook his head, "Oh no, no, no, no. I don't dance."

She threw a look across at Sam, "Me either."

With a sigh, she spun on her heel to face the way she'd come from, "Anybody want to dance?"

The whole room stayed silent as every pair of eyes were directed her way, but there were no volunteers to her request. She spun back to face the brothers and spotted the bartender watching her, which made her smile as she edged closer to him. "You'll dance with me, won't you cowboy?" She asked seductively.

But before he had a chance to respond, Dean's silent glare gave him the encouragement he needed to decline. "I don't think your boyfriend is going to like that." He replied, his eyes trained on him.

"Then you're lucky he's not my boyfriend."

"I can't. I'm watching the bar."

"It's not like it's going anywhere." She giggled.

Dean rolled his eyes; her efforts at seduction were making him close to vomiting. He coughed to draw her attention back to him, "Fine. I'll dance with you."

She smiled victoriously out of his line of sight and spun to face him. "I thought you didn't dance."

"If it'll get you to stop hitting on the barkeeper, I'll do it."

She grabbed the hand he held out toward her and led him to a clearing among the tables as ACDC's You Shook Me All Night Long began to play. She didn't hesitate to get up close and personal to him, as she assumed she'd done in the past. She pressed her body slightly against his to provoke a reaction as she started to dance, essentially with him as the pole.

Dean gulped as he stood watching her move against him, leaving him suitably stimulated. Regardless of whether she remembered or not, Christina had a way of driving him wild and her lack of memories didn't change that. He knew he was going to have to remove himself from the situation before she got too out of hand. But he'd rather she was grinding against him, than having to witness her doing it to someone else.

He grabbed her arm at the elbow, stopping her from her gyrating. "What are you doing CJ?" He asked barely audible, gulping back his need for her.

Somewhat angered by his interruption, she forced a smile, "Relax Dean, I'm just having some fun."

"I get it OK. You're mad at the world, but this isn't the way to deal with it."

"Then what should I do Dean? Tell me how to fix it."

"Use your anger to fight."

"Who do I fight; the angels? Because that wouldn't end well."

"You're stronger than you think. You'll make it through this."

"That's easy for you to say, you remember everything."

"I know its rough CJ, but trust me you won't get anywhere by going off the rails like this."

"No, you have no idea what it's like to have your slate wiped clean and if you think this is me going off the rails, you've seen nothing yet." She said through gritted teeth before moving away from him and smiling at Sam. "Game of pool?"

The younger man glanced at his brother, who turned and nodded at him. "Sure."

"Great, I'll set them up." She countered.

_Rock Ridge, Colorado__ – __A Week Later_

Sam leaned on the hood of the Impala waiting for Bobby. While they'd been looking into some unexplained deaths in the area, Dean had been infected with a ghost sickness which had left him all but useless. The slightest thing would scare him, even holding a gun, so Sam had enlisted the older hunters help to rid the town – and his brother – of the ghost of Luther Garland.

Hearing a car approach from behind him, he turned to see Bobby parking up behind Dean's prized possession. He watched as he climbed out from behind the wheel and walked over.

"Howdy Sam." He greeted him.

"Hey Bobby. Thanks for coming up so quick."

"Where's Dean?"

As Bobby reached him Sam turned and sat on the hood of the car, "Uh... home sick." He glanced behind him at the other vehicle parked behind, "CJ?"

He released an exasperated sigh, "She's at home, for now."

The younger man frowned, "What's going on?"

He shook his head, "I don't know, she's really lost her way and I can't seem to bring her back."

"Still drinking?"

He nodded, "And looking for love in all the wrong places."

"I'm sure she'll straighten herself out, she's probably just looking for answers." He said, to which an awkward silence followed.

"So, have his hallucinations started yet?" Bobby asked about Dean folding his arms across his chest.

"Yeah, a few hours ago."

"How we doin' on time?"

"We saw the coroner about 8am Monday morning, so, uh..." Sam checked his watch. "Just under two hours. What about you? You find anything?"

Bobby passed him the book he was holding in his right hand, "This, uh, encyclopaedia of spirits dates to the Edo period."

He opened the book and flipped through a few pages before stopping on one, "You can read Japanese?" He asked to which he responded in Japanese and Sam smiled, "Guess so, show-off."

"Anyway, this book lists a kind of ghost that could be our guy. It, uh, infects people with fear. It's called a Buru Buru."

"It say how to kill it?"

"Same as usual; burn the remains."

Sam sighed, "Wonderful." He replied sarcastically. "Uh... is there a plan B?"

"Well, the Buru Buru is born of fear. Hell, it is fear. And the lore says we can kill it with fear."

"So we have to scare a ghost to death?"

"Pretty much."

He paused, taking in the challenge before them, "How the hell are we gonna do that?"

_Christina's Apartment, South Dakota_

With a groan Christina climbed out of bed and covered her naked body with the closest thing she had to hand, her housecoat. Wrapping it around her body, she turned to face the piece of furniture she'd just removed herself from and rolled her eyes. There, lying under the sheets, on the other side of the mattress was a man she had met the night before.

"Get up, get out!" She said making her way round the bed collecting up his clothes.

He groaned as he woke up, "What?"

"Get out!" She reaffirmed his instructions, throwing his shirt and jeans at him. "I'm going to shower; I want you gone by the time I'm done."

_Rock Ridge, Colorado_

Dean was going out of his mind waiting around in the motel room while his brother worked out a cure for his sickness. It hadn't taken long for him to start hallucinating and he was trying to stay calm, but he'd already seen Sam with yellow eyes today so it was proving difficult to keep his cool. Now he was sat on the bottom of one of the single beds in the room listening to the ticking clock and it was driving him crazy. He looked over at his duffel and then at his watch, time was running out. That's when he heard the Hellhounds barking. He stopped scratching at the road rash on the inside of his left forearm and grabbed his watch. Then something on the floor sticking out from beneath the bed caught his eye as his heartbeat sounded strongly in his ears. He picked up the item from the floor to find it was a book and upon closer examination discovered it was the bible. He raised it to his lips and closed his eyes as he clutched at it tightly.

"Hi, Dean." A childlike voice sounded throughout the room.

His eyes snapped open. Slowly he turned slightly to his right side, to see Lilith – wearing the little girl they'd seen the night the Hellhounds had dragged him to Hell – sat on the bed beside him. He breathed out and turned his head away, refusing to look directly at her.

"No. No." He said clutching the bible like his life depended on it.

"Yes. It's me, Lilith." She said grabbing him and hugging his shoulder. "Oh, I missed you so much." She continued as he tried to force himself to remember he was hallucinating. "It's time to go back now."

Dean wrenched free of her grasp and stood up. He took a few steps away and Lilith looked up at him disappointed that he shirked away from her. "You-you are not real!" He stated pointing at her with the bible, but refusing to look at her.

"What's the matter, Dean? Don't you remember all the fun you had down there?" He slowly looked down at her to find her standing at the bottom of the bed. "You do remember. Four months is like forty years in Hell." She said folding her arms and walking toward him. "Like doggy years. And you remember every second."

He suddenly felt a pain in his chest and doubled over, falling to his knees in front of her. "You're not real." He struggled to spit out.

Lilith grabbed his head and lifted his face to look at her, her eyes turning white. "Doesn't matter. You're still gonna die. You're still gonna burn." She said releasing her hold on him and smiling arrogantly as her eyes reverted back to normal.

"Why me? Why'd I get infected?"

She placed her hands on her hips, "Silly goose. You know why, Dean. Listen to your heart."

"What?"

"Ba-boom. Ba-boom. Ba-boom. Ba-boom."

Dean flinched and fell to the floor again. Clutching at his chest, he rolled over to his side and supported himself on his left elbow with wide eyes. This was how he was going to die.

= X =

Sam walked into the lumber mill where they'd originally come across Luther Garland's ghost with a salt loaded rifle in his hand. He'd come up with a plan to 'scare' it to death, and although Bobby didn't think it was going to work, he didn't have a better alternative.

He made his way through to the office where he and Dean had seen Luther's drawings of Jessie O'Brien and Bobby's voice filled the air via walkie talkie's they were using to communicate.

"Any luck?" He asked.

Sam removed his talkie from the jean pocket it was attached to as he walked further into the room, "I don't know what's wrong, Bobby. Last time he came right at us. It's almost like he's uh... like he's scared." He said looking at the weapon he held. Suspecting that was the reason Luther was staying hidden, he placed the shotgun down on the ground at his feet.

"So, now what?" Bobby asked.

"I guess I got to make him angry." He said walking over to the desk and picking up a drawing of Jessie. "Hey Luther!" He called to him, ripping the first one he got his hands on. Immediately the old machinery started up, signifying his presence, so Sam picked up another drawing and ripped that one too keeping his eye out for the ghost. "C'mon Luther! Where the hell are you?" He asked as more machinery started and he searched the desk. "What are you waiting for?"

Finding another sketch of the woman, he tore through it. That's when Luther's ghost appeared behind him and he instantly felt his close proximity. He slowly turned to face him and Luther – who was taller than himself – grabbed him by the lapel of his jacket. He threw him to the ground and Sam clambered to get to his gun, but the ghost dragged him away before he could get a firm grasp. He kicked him and Sam tried again to escape, to get to the gun he'd been carrying. But Luther grabbed him by the leg, dragged him back and turned him over onto his back. Clutching his lapel, the ghost started to slam him into the floor repeatedly. Reaching out, Sam grabbed the iron chain lay on the floor, which he'd placed there and wrapped it around Luther's neck.

"Bobby, punch it!" He yelled giving him the go ahead.

Bobby heard Sam's call and pressed his foot down on the gas causing the Impala's wheels to screech. The chain – that was attached to the car – unravelled and, once it was taught, dragged Luther from inside the mill down the very road that had killed him. By the time Bobby had drove as far as he could go, the ghost had evaporated.

= X =

Dean gasped for breath, coming back to life after his hallucination of Lilith had pushed him to the brink of death. Any longer and he'd be dead, really dead this time. He coughed, and searched the room for any signs of the little girl, but she was gone. So was the rash he'd once had on both forearms. It was over. Relief washed over him as he relaxed back down on the floor, exhausted.

_= A While Later =_

Dean took two bottles of beer from the cooler on the backseat of the Impala and handed one to his brother, who was leaning against the car. "So, you guys road-hauled a ghost... with a chain?" He asked offering Bobby a bottle, who declined.

"Iron chain, etched with a spell-word." Sam replied motioning to their father figure, who was propped against his own vehicle.

"Hmm. Now that's a new one." He said taking a swig of his beer.

"It was what he was most afraid of. It was pretty brutal though."

"On the upside, I'm still alive so uh, go team."

"Yeah. How you feeling by the way?"

"Fine."

"You sure, Dean? 'Cause this line of work can get awful scary." Bobby teased causing Sam to look over at his brother with a smile.

"I'm fine. Hey, you wanna go hunt? I'll hunt. I'll kill anything." He stated affirmatively.

Sam looked at Bobby, "Awww."

The older man smiled, "He's adorable." He said causing Sam to laugh as Dean took another sip from his bottle, unamused. He pushed himself from the support of his car and turned to walk toward the driver's door. "I gotta get out of here, get back to whatever mess CJ has for me today. You boys drive safe."

But Dean stopped him before he got into his vehicle, "Hey Bobby, how's she doing?"

"She's a tearaway teen fifteen years after her time." He exhaled heavily. "I don't know what I'm going to do with her."

"You need us to come back?"

"I'm not sure it'd help. She's determined to do what she wants and to hell with anyone who tries to stop her."

"How bad is it?"

Again he sighed, "Bad. I just don't know how to get through to her. But I shouldn't complain, she was never any trouble growing up. It's just hard to fight the urge to give her a good slap to bring her back to her senses because she's older." He paused. "Still, I expect this is just temporary until she gets her memories back. I just hope Castiel doesn't leave it too long to get them back to her. I'm not sure how much more of this I can take."

= X =

Christina walked into the bar she'd become a regular during the last week and smiled at the man behind the counter, "Hey Tyler. Can I get my usual?" She asked placing her order.

He glanced at the clock as he grabbed a glass for her request, "It's a little early isn't it? Even for you."

"And I thought you were paid to pour drinks, not give out free advice."

"It was just an observation Chrissie." He said trying to avoid the fight he saw brewing. He'd seen her lose her temper before with people in the bar and he didn't like his chances against her.

"Well, luckily you're not paid to voice your observation. So are you going to pour my drink, or do I have to go somewhere else?" She asked perching on the barstool.

He grabbed the Jack Daniels from the counter behind him and poured her a measure before thrusting it toward her. He knew the first drink was usually knocked back neat and then she followed it up with Jack with coke. Sure enough, he watched her knock back the liquid in one and refilled the glass without needing to be asked.

"So, where's your boyfriend?" He asked after the man she'd left the bar with twelve hours previous as he drowned the alcohol in soda.

"He served his purpose, then I kicked his ass to the curb, like the guy the night before and the guy the night before that."

"Are you looking for some guy in particular or aren't you fussy?" He boldly continued his line of questioning.

"Why do you care? Are you applying for the job?" She flirted.

He cocked his head to the side, "You could do a lot worse than me."

"I think I should be the judge of that." She smiled looking him dead in the eye. She glanced around the bar to find she was one of three customers and then moved her eyes back to his. "Is there somewhere we could go or do you want to do it right here in front of these two?"

"I've got an office out back." He suggested.

"And what about the bar?"

He addressed one of the men sat in the corner, "I've just got to go and do something Herb. Can you watch the bar?"

The old man waved his hand and mumbled something Christina didn't quite catch, but then she wasn't really paying attention. She watched as Tyler motioned for her to follow, and she did. They walked to the back of the building, past the toilets; to a room marked 'private' and he unlocked the door. She checked the way they had come for any signs they were being followed before she walked inside.

The room was dark, but for a lit lamp on the file cabinets in the corner closest to the window. The desk was situated in front of the wall of metal cabinets with a chair behind it and on the opposite wall was a sofa, which looked like it had been used to sleep on more than once.

After scouring the room, she turned toward him in time for him to step toward her, eager for the exchange she'd implied. Instantly he lifted her onto the front of his desk and stepped between her legs, parting them. She wasn't coy; reaching for the waist of her top she hoisted it over her head to reveal her voluptuous chest, barely contained by the bra she wore. And he didn't waste any time on seduction. He leaned forward to place his lips on hers, separating them in order to force his tongue inside her mouth, as he grabbed at her boobs eagerly anticipating their deeper connection. She didn't care that he was rough. But then, she didn't really care about anything anymore.

As he kissed her she felt nothing. There was nothing that made her want him anymore than she had wanted any of the other men she'd bedded that week. But she needed to feel something, to fill the gap inside her and he was as good a candidate as any. She reached inside his jeans and found the part of him that she was hoping would ignite a memory or some kind of purpose to her life and not leave her feeling empty, like the men before him. She began to move her hand slowly along his manhood in both directions, causing his desire to heighten. He got rougher, kissing her like his life depended on sex with her and she found she was disconnected from the scene completely. But she had to make it look good, catering to his ego.

"Do you want to go upstairs to my apartment?" He asked prying his lips from hers, barely containing himself.

"I'm good here." She replied forcing her mouth upon his. She didn't want him to talk, that wasn't what she using him for.

= X =

Dean frowned as the phone attached to his ear rang out and then cut to voicemail for the second time. "Hey CJ, it's me... again. Do me a favour; call me when you get this."

Sam walked out of the motel reception with a set of keys in time to see his brother hang up his phone. "Was that CJ?"

He nodded stuffing the object into his jacket pocket, "She's still not answering."

"Maybe she's busy or didn't hear it ringing."

"And maybe Bobby was sparing us the details when he said she was a terrible teen."

"You don't think he was over exaggerating when he said she was out of control?"

"You saw her before we left Sam. Did she look like someone who was dealing with her situation well? Because from where I was standing she was pretty messed up."

_Willie's Bar & Grill, South Dakota – A Week Ago_

Dean watched Christina as she flirted with Sam while they played pool and rolled his eyes. It was bad enough that the two had been drawn together before, but even with her loss of memory she seemed to be gravitating toward him too. It made him sick to witness, especially when he'd been so open and honest about his feelings for her.

He turned his attention to the barman that she'd been flaunting herself to earlier and gestured to his bottle in a silent request for another before turning back to the public display of moral indecency playing out in front of him. He was tempted to drag her out of the bar by her hair kicking and screaming if he had to in order to get her to stop, but he knew that wouldn't stop her misplaced energy. She was angry – with good reason – and in desperate need to act out so he had to give her the space to release her inner fury or he might just make things worse. Still, he didn't have to like it. Especially when he hadn't pandered to her game and she'd shifted the object of flirtation to his brother.

Her laugh snapped him out of his angry haze. "I hate that I'm losing but I love to watch you play." She commented stepping back and taking in the sight of Sam's backside.

Dean got to his feet, "Don't get excited Sam. She's letting you win. You're a terrible player."

"No, she's not." He protested.

"C'mon, think about it; she always beat me and I'm a much better player than you are." He said stamping on his minor victory.

She smiled as she manoeuvred toward the oldest brother, "You should play. It'd be fun for me to see you bent over the table."

He hesitated looking deep into her eyes, "Thanks, but I'm not in the mood to be your eye candy."

She stepped to press her body against his, and tiptoed to place her lips so close to his that they were almost touching, "You don't have to be playing to be that." She said using her best seductive voice.

"You need to stop this CJ." He said in a whisper.

"I'm just having some fun Dean, and if you don't want to play I'm sure I'll find someone else that will."

_Rock Ridge, Colorado – Present Day_

Dean sighed, "No Sam, something's off. I think we need to go to Bobby's, straighten her out."

"Bobby can do that." He countered.

"Yeah, because he's been doing a bang up job this past week."

"And what can we do?"

"I don't know. Tie her up, or something. It's better than sitting on our ass while she screws her life into the gutter."

"Dean, I get that you want to help her. But I don't see what we can do to pull her out of it that Bobby hasn't already tried. She's pretty headstrong. She's not going to just stop because we tell her to."

"We've got to do something Sam. She can't fall apart."

He sighed, feeling sympathy for his brother. "I'm sure Bobby'll snap her out of it. But Dean, we need to keep hunting. Seal's are being broken and right now, stopping Lilith is more important than helping out Christina. I'm sorry, but it just is."

He stared at his brother for the longest time, knowing he was right. There was a part of him that wanted to save the woman that meant so much to him, but preventing the seals from being broken was something he couldn't ignore. He nodded to agree with Sam, "You got any new leads on where she is?"

He exhaled, long and hard, part in relief that he'd talked his brother round and part in frustration. "No. But I did find us another case."

He motioned to the car. "Then we better get on the road."


	17. Chapter 17

**SIXTEEN**

_October 30, 2008_

Christina glanced up from the other end of the bar as a man and woman entered from the street, but she didn't know them or recognise their faces so she went back to nursing the drink in front of her. Since her encounter with Tyler, she'd lost her taste for it and she knew it was because she'd been trying to fill the void she felt in entirely the wrong way. Having no respect for her body and the men that used it wasn't going to get her memories back; as much as she'd convinced herself the shock would do it. She had to find another solution, and looking through books like her father wasn't working either.

= X =

Ruby looked at Christina and then back at Alastair. "I told you." She whispered. "She has no idea who we are."

In truth she'd been nervous when he'd suggested approaching her, just in case there was a part of her that did remember them. But she'd barely blinked when they'd walked in the bar, which had filled her with relief. Not because she was scared of her, but her plan relied on Sam's trust and if she was exposed by Christina for being with Alastair, her cover would have been completely shot and then the year she'd spent trying to get the brother's to trust her would've been a complete waste of time.

= X =

Dean hung up his phone as he made his way to the motel room he shared with Sam. He'd been trying Christina's cell phone for days and she hadn't answered once, which was enough to cause concern but Bobby had been vague whenever he asked about her too. He'd been half tempted to drive back to South Dakota but they were on a case and he was nothing if not professional. He would put this case to rest and then they were taking a detour to Christina.

Walking in the room he found his brother sat on the couch with his laptop, some books and an open hex bag on the coffee table in front of him. He tossed his keys on the dining table under the window and opened a piece of candy he was holding before putting it in his mouth.

Sam watched him in amazement, "Really? After that guy choked down all those razor blades?" He asked referring to Luke Wallace, the victim.

"It's Halloween, man." He replied.

"Yeah, for us every day is Halloween."

Dean perched himself on the arm of the couch his brother sat on and looked at his research, "Don't be a downer, anything interesting?"

"Well, we're on a witch-hunt, that's for sure, but this isn't your typical hex bag." He said motioning to the open cloth.

"Hmm, no?"

Sam picked up what looked like a dried up flower from the contents inside, "Goldthread, an herb that's been extinct for two hundred years. And this-" He continued picking up the silver, which was the size of a coin. "Is Celtic, and I don't mean some new age knock off. It looks like the real deal, like 600 years old real." He watched as Dean picked up the small charred item and smelled it. "And um... that is the charred metacarpal bone of a newborn baby."

"Ugh." Dean grunted putting the piece back down and pulling a disgruntled face. "Gross."

Sam picked up the bone, "Relax man, it's like, at least a hundred years old."

"Oh right, like that makes it better? Witches man, they're so friggin' skeevy." He said moving to the armchair and sitting down.

"Yeah, well it takes a pretty powerful one to put a bag like this together. More juice than we've ever dealt with, that's for sure. What about you? Find anything on the victim?"

"This Luke Wallace? He was so vanilla that he made vanilla seem spicy." He replied causing Sam to scoff at their lack of leads. "I can't find any reason why somebody would want this guy dead."

= X =

"Excuse me." Christina heard a voice pull her out of her own self pity. She looked up and saw the woman who'd walked in five minutes ago.

She was about 5' 4" with brown eyes and brown hair that loosely curled around her face. She had a small frame and a confident but shy expression on her face, like she was embarrassed about asking the world's biggest favour, and she had a glow about her that made Christina instantly jealous. She could hit her soon as look at her, just for portraying a perfect well rounded life when her own was anything but. Still she forced a smile to her lips so the woman wouldn't feel threatened by her misery.

"Would you happen to know where the nearest fill up joint is?" She asked.

Christina frowned, "You should've passed it on your way here. It's at the end of the street."

"Oh, we didn't see it." She countered, silently telling herself off for not coming up with something more creative. "We were just passing through and we got lost on the way. Of course my husband won't ask directions... men."

She smiled again, forcing away the need to call her on her idiocy, "Well, if you drive down the street, you'll find it."

"Kristy." Her 'husband' called to her, drawing Christina's attention to him.

"Coming dear." She returned the call before looking back to her, "Thank you."

"No problem."

= X =

The Winchesters walked down the wooden steps to the basement of the latest crime scene where a girl had been burned alive while bobbing for apples and Sam made an instant move to join the police officer questioning the witnesses. But, seeing the female witness, Dean put his hand up to stop him.

"I got this one." He said licking his lips as he eyed her.

Sam sighed, "Two words: jail bait."

"I would never-" He began to protest. But Sam rolled his eyes and walked away. He made his way to the couch and started to lift cushions in a bid to find the hex bag, like the one they'd found behind the fridge at the first victim's house.

His brother smirked and headed over to where the young girl was talking to the officer. "It's just so weird; the water in the tub wasn't hot. I had just been in there myself." He overheard her say.

"Your friend didn't happen to know a man named Luke Wallace?" Dean asked causing her to turn her attention to him as he held up his badge. "Agent Segar, F.B.I."

The officer nodded at him and walked away. He knew that F.B.I superseded any investigations held by the local police force so there was no point in him wasting his time fighting it when he had other work piling up on his desk.

"Um, who's Luke Wallace?" Tracy countered.

"He died yesterday."

"I don't know who that is."

Out of the corner of his eye, Dean saw Sam hold up the hex bag he'd found among the cushions and discreetly nodded.

= X =

Christina knocked back her seventh drink since she'd walked into the bar and made a move to leave. She was getting nowhere in her effort to get drunk, she was just throwing good money after bad in trying. She needed to rethink her strategy to get her memories back; maybe adrenaline was the way to go instead of sleeping her way through the men in her state. So she'd take the night to recharge her batteries and put her new plan into action in the morning.

"Leaving already?" Tyler asked as he cleaned glasses behind the bar.

She forced a smile. "Yeah. Tomorrow's a new day."

"You could always stay with me the night, if you wanted."

"Thanks, but I think this week is best left here." She replied putting on her coat and heading for the door and walking out onto the street only to bump into her father.

"I thought I'd find you here." Bobby told her using his best disapproval tone.

= X =

Ruby grabbed Alastair before he stepped out from the shadows. "Wait." She whispered seeing Bobby on the street over the road from them.

"Having a change of heart?" He questioned.

"No, but that's her father. If he sees me, we might as well kiss my cover goodbye."

"So what do you suggest?"

"Let's leave it for tonight."

"Lilith won't like that."

"We can just get her tomorrow."

= X =

Christina took a sharp intake of breath in shock of coming face to face with her father. "Hey Dad, I was just..."

"Yeah I know what you were just. Do you think you're the first one to try drowning in self pity?" He asked. "Girl, I wrote the 'how to' guide on it and I won't let you try and drink this away like I did. It doesn't work and it doesn't make it better."

She rolled her eyes and stepped around him, "Can we please not do this on the friggin street?"

But she didn't get far into her mission to go home and avoid the lecture before he grabbed her by the arm to enforce his issue. "Oh no CJ, you don't get to walk away this time. You're coming home with me."

She snatched her arm back, "I'm not a kid anymore Dad. You can't make me change just because you say so."

"I will lock you down in the basement if I have to." He said reaching out and grabbing her again.

She sighed, "Would it make you feel better if I told you I'd already decided to stop drinking?"

He raised his eyebrow, "Do you think I was brought in on the last train from naivety? You'd tell me anything to try and get me off your case."

"Actually Dad, as I was downing my last drink I realised – painfully – that it wasn't working. I'm still as clueless about my life as I was a week ago. So I thought that if I want to get my memories back, the best way to do that is to be the person I was before I lost them, except I don't know who that was so I was hoping you'd help me."

He frowned, "I don't see how I can help with that."

"Teach me how to hunt again."

"You haven't hunted for over a year CJ. I don't think that'll help."

"I used to be a hunter. Maybe training will trigger a memory." She sighed. "I have to try something."

= X =

"I'm telling you, both these vic's are squeaky clean." Dean said from in front of the laptop at the table. "There is no reason for a wicked bitch payback."

Sam sat up from his horizontal relaxed position on the bed as he looked intently at one of the books he'd been reading through. "Maybe 'cause it's not about that."

"Wow, insightful." Dean spat sarcastically with a frown.

"Maybe this witch isn't working the grudge; maybe they're working a spell. Check this out..." He started, reading from the book he held. "...Three blood sacrifices over three days, the last before midnight on the final day of the harvest. Celtic Calendar, the final day of the final harvest is October 31st." He finished handing his brother the book.

"Halloween."

"Exactly."

"What exactly are the uh, blood sacrifices for?"

"Uh, if I'm right, this witch is summoning a demon, and not just any demon, Samhain."

"Am I supposed to be impressed?" Dean asked having not heard of him.

Sam would have been astounded, but the fact his brother did all the light work while he did the research meant he hadn't been privy to information about this particular demon. "Dean, Samhain is the damn origin of Halloween. The Celts believed that October 31st was the one night of the year when the veil was the thinnest between the living and the dead, and it was Samhain's night. I mean, masks were put on to hide from him, sweets left on doorsteps to appease him, faces carved into pumpkins to worship him. He was exorcised centuries ago."

"So even though Samhain took a trip downstairs the tradition stuck."

"Exactly, only now instead of demons and blood orgies, Halloween is all about kids, candy and costumes."

"OK, so some witch wants to raise Samhain and take back the night?" He asked jovially.

"Dean, this is serious."

"I am serious."

"We're talking heavyweight witchcraft. This ritual can only be performed every six hundred years."

"And the six hundred year marker rolls around...?"

"Tomorrow night."

"Naturally." Dean retorted flipping through the book he'd taken from his brother to find a picture of a demon standing on a heap of bodies, holding a head in his hand. "Well, it sure is a lot of death and destruction for one demon."

"That's because he likes company. Once he's raised, Samhain can do some rising of his own."

"Raising what exactly?"

"Dark, evil crap and lots of it, I mean, they follow him around like the friggin' Pied Piper."

"So we're talking ghosts?"

"Yeah."

"Zombies?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Leprechauns?"

"Dean-"

"Those little dudes are scary. Small hands."

"Look, it just starts with ghosts and ghouls. This sucker keeps on going, by night's end we're talking every awful thing we have ever seen. Everything we fight, all in one place."

"It's going to be a slaughterhouse." He commented, causing Sam to nod wearing an apprehensive expression.

= X =

Christina stumbled where she stood and her father grabbed her before she fell to the ground. Her skull pounded like she'd been hit with a hammer and her mind portrayed images in her head she hadn't seen before. It was only for a second, but when it was over; she drew in a sharp breath and looked up at Bobby.

"I had a memory." She announced.

He frowned, "What was it?"

"Sam and Dean were lying on the ground in what looked like a basement and their faces were covered in blood."

Bobby searched his memory, "I don't remember that happening. Are you sure it wasn't a vision?"

Her hand went up to her head, "I don't know what it's like to have those so how would I know?"

"Does your head hurt?"

"Yeah."

"You feel sick?"

"Nausea? Check."

He half nodded, "Yep, sounds like a vision."

"That means Sam and Dean are in danger."

"Tell me a day when they ain't."

= X =

Dean sat behind the wheel of his car outside the Wallace house keeping watch as he ate candy. Throwing a wrapper onto a pile that had built up on the seat beside him; his stomach protested to his indulgence and caused him to grab at it for a moment. He reached for his cell phone as it started to ring and flipped it open, checking the ID of the caller before he answered. "Hey."

"How's it going?" His brother asked from their hotel room.

"Awesome, yeah. I talked with Mrs. Razor Blade again. I've been sitting out in front of her house for hours and I've got a big steamy pile of nothing." He replied.

"Look Dean, someone planted those hex bags, someone with access to both houses, there's gotta be some connection."

"Yeah, well I hope we find 'em soon cause I'm starting to cramp like a-" Dean stopped mid-sentence, seeing Tracy walking up to the Wallace house. "Son of a bitch."

"Quit whining."

"No, Sam, I mean, son of a bitch." He repeated watching as the girl made her way to the door, knocked and the widow appeared holding her baby. "

_= A While Later =_

Dean walked into the room and threw the motel key – complete with 'Moonlight Motel #126' keychain – onto the table.

"So, our apple bobbing cheerleader?" Sam asked from his horizontal position on the bed.

"Tracy?" He asked.

His brother nodded. "Mm-hmm?"

"The Wallace's babysitter; told me she never even heard of Luke Wallace."

"Huh, interesting look for a centuries old witch."

"Yeah, well, if you were a six-hundred-year hag and you could pick any costume to come back in, wouldn't you go for a hot cheerleader?" He asked, suddenly distracted. "I would, hmm..." He confessed sitting down on the other bed and getting carried away with the thought he'd presented himself with. It was a minute before he noticed the furrowed brow of his brother, and raised his eyebrows at him innocently.

"Well, Tracy's not as wholesome as she looks. Did some digging, apparently she got into a violent altercation with one of her teachers, got suspended from school." Sam informed him gesturing, with his eyes, to the lap top on the bed next to him before handing it to Dean.

Upon the screen was a picture of the cheerleader he'd interviewed regarding the drowning with a note about her suspension, accompanying her information.

= X =

Christina lay on the bed in her father's house staring up at the ceiling. She couldn't count the times that she'd spent doing the same thing since her memories had been taken, just lying there trying to ignite a spark to bring them back to her. Bobby had reluctantly agreed to teach her the skills of hunting that she'd learned as a child, but she was sceptical of his honesty in that regard because she knew he'd only agreed to get her to return home with him. She'd wanted to get started with training as soon as she'd walked through the back door, but he'd been called away, so she lay on her bed waiting for his return.

= X =

Having been out searching for the witch and been unsuccessful, Sam and Dean had returned to their motel room to find Castiel waiting for them beyond the door, and he wasn't alone.

"Who's your friend?" Dean asked the angel eyeing the man looking out the window at the back of the room.

"This, the raising of Samhain, have you stopped it?" He asked disregarding the older brother's question and directing his at the youngest.

"Why?"

The angel's eyes connected to his in an instant, "Dean, have you located the witch?"

"Yes, we've located the witch."

"And is the witch dead?"

"No, but-" Sam started only to be cut off by his brother.

"We know who it is."

Castiel walked over to the bedside table, "Apparently the witch knows who you are too." He said picking up the hex bag placed there and showing it to them. "This was inside the wall of your room. If we hadn't found it, surely one or both of you would be dead. Do you know where the witch is now?"

Dean threw a glance at his brother, knowing they had no idea where she was. "We're working on it."

"That's unfortunate."

"What do you care?"

"The raising of Samhain is one of the 66 seals."

"So this is about your buddy Lucifer?"

"Lucifer is no friend of ours." The man at the back of the room said, finding no humour in his comment.

"It's just an expression."

"Lucifer cannot rise; the breaking of the seal must be prevented at all costs." Castiel told them.

"OK, great. Well now that you're here, why don't you tell us where the witch is, we'll gank her and everybody goes home."

"We are not omniscient. This witch is very powerful; she's cloaked even our methods."

"OK, well we already know who she is, so if we work together-" Sam started, only to be cut off again, this time by the stranger.

"Enough of this." He stated wanting to get to the point of their visit.

Dean immediately lost his temper, "OK, who are you and why should I care?"

The stranger turned from the window to look at him and Castiel made the introductions, "This is Uriel, he's what you might call a... specialist."

= X =

With a weary sigh, Christina got up off the bed and made her way to the kitchen. The alcohol had left her dehydrated and she needed a glass of water to quench her thirst. Stopping as she was about to make her way past Bobby's bedroom door, she glanced inside and remembered fondly standing in his doorway – as a child – watching him sleep, hoping it would make her tired, but her nightmares always kept her awake.

She continued downstairs to her destination and reached for a glass from the cupboard on the wall, she filled it with tap water and turned her back to the sink to have her drink. But as she took a gulp of the liquid and swallowed, she noticed Dean's beat up leather jacket hanging on the back of one of the chairs around the dining table. She lowered the glass to the sink and walked over to take it into her hands. Without thinking, she raised it to her nose and inhaled long and hard, hoping that the smell of him would force her memory into action. But it didn't. It just resulted in making her instantly feel safe, and she knew that came from her memories of him, despite them being AWOL.

= X =

Dean frowned, a bad feeling suddenly stabbing him in the gut, "What kind of specialist?" He asked as Uriel and Castiel exchanged glances that only increased his apprehension. "What are you gonna do?"

"You- uh, both of you, you need to leave this town immediately." Castiel said.

"Why?"

"Because we're about to destroy it."

The brothers exchanged worried glances before the eldest spoke, "So this is your plan, you're gonna spite the friggin' town?"

"We're out of time, this witch has to die. The seal must be saved." He enforced.

"There are a thousand people here." Sam was astonished at the solution they were implying.

"One thousand two hundred fourteen." Uriel added not seeming to care how many lives he was about to end.

"And you're willing to kill them all?"

"This isn't the first time I've... purified a city." He said, humour dancing in his tone.

Castiel could automatically feel the tension, "Look, I understand this is regrettable..."

"Regrettable?" Dean repeated astounded at his relaxed demeanour.

"We have to hold the line; too many seals have broken already."

"So you screw the pooch on some seals and this town has to pay the price?"

"It's the lives of one thousand against the lives of six billion. There's a bigger picture here."

"Right, 'cause you're bigger picture kind of guys."

Castiel stepped toward him, to emphasize his point, "Lucifer cannot rise, he does and hell rises with him. Is that something that you're willing to risk?"

"We'll stop this witch before she summons anyone. Your seal won't be broken and no one has to die." Sam pleaded trying to talk some sense into them.

"We're wasting time with these mud monkeys." Uriel threw an insult out.

Castiel turned away from Dean, toward his brother. "I'm sorry, but we have our orders."

But Sam wasn't about to give up without a fight. "No, you can't do this, you're angels. I mean aren't you supposed to-" Uriel's quiet laughter stopped his train of thought momentarily. "You're supposed to show mercy."

"Says who?" Uriel countered.

"We have no choice." Castiel said.

But Dean wasn't convinced, "Of course you have a choice, I mean, come on, what? You've never questioned an order, huh? What are you both just a couple of hammers?"

"Look, even if you can't understand it, have faith, the plan is just."

Sam frowned, "How can you even say that?"

"Because it comes from Heaven, that makes it just."

"Oh, it must be nice, to be so sure of yourselves." Dean said sarcastically.

"Tell me something Dean, when your father gave you an order, didn't you obey?"

He stared at the angel, hardly believing he'd brought his loyalty to his father in as an example for what they were about to do. He took a second, and when he spoke, he didn't answer his question. "Well, sorry boys, looks like the plans have changed."

"You think you can stop us?" Uriel asked.

Dean stood in front of the angel he'd just met close enough that their faces were inches apart, "No, but if you're gonna smite this whole town, then you're gonna have to smite us with it because we are not leaving. See, you went to the trouble of busting me out of Hell, I figure I'm worth something to the man upstairs. So you wanna waste me, go ahead, see how he digs that."

"I will drag you out of here myself." He threatened.

"Yeah, but you'll have to kill me, then we're back to the same problem. I mean, come on, you're gonna wipe out a whole town for one little witch? Sounds to me like you're compensating for something." He said before turning to address Castiel. "We can do this; we will find that witch and we will stop the summoning."

But Uriel was losing patience. "Castiel! I will not let these peop-"

"Enough!" Castiel said holding up his hand to silence him before staring at Dean in quiet contemplation. "I suggest you move quickly."

= X =

By the time Bobby walked in through the front door of his house, it was dark outside. He was about to call out to his daughter when he saw her out of the corner of his eye curled up on the couch in the room that had once been the lounge. Slowly he walked inside the room and gained on her serene stature, deciding that if she intended to stay there the night that she'd need a blanket. Only his brow furrowed upon noticing something clamped in her grasp, and it wasn't until closer inspection that he realised it was Dean's leather jacket that he'd left behind. His heart went out to her. He couldn't imagine what it must be like for her not remembering such a big chunk of her life and he had no idea when they'd be returned to her, but the least he could do was try to help her remember by taking her through the steps of training again like she'd asked.

Grabbing the blanket off the back of the couch she lay on, he gently covered her so she wouldn't be cold and then retired to the table in the kitchen with a beer to do more research on the apparent impending apocalypse.

= X =

Sam gained on Samhain in the mausoleum – after failing to stop him rising, they'd located him at the cemetery where he planned to raise the dead – while he had his back to him. But he turned suddenly and threw up his arm in his direction casting a bright white light toward him. Only it dimmed as Sam walked toward him.

"Yeah, that demon ray gun stuff? It doesn't work on me." He informed him.

Samhain ran at Sam and he reacted throwing an uppercut punch at him. They tussled, neither one really having the upper hand, until Samhain pushed his opponent against the wall by his neck.

Sam managed to retrieve Ruby's knife from his inside jacket pocket and swung it to stab him, but instead it sizzled as it cut into the skin on his right forearm. He forced the knife out of the Winchesters grasp and flung him across the room into the opposite wall. Samhain watched as he got back up to his feet, and he took a second before starting to run at him. Sam raised his hand – regardless of having strict instructions from his brother – and used his mind to stop him in his tracks and the demon struggled against his power but it was no use.

Dean turned the corner – after having dealt with the raised dead – in time to see his brother using the power he'd asked him not to and his heart sunk. Their eyes connected momentarily, but Sam didn't stop. His nose started to bleed and the blood pounded in his ears as he concentrated harder than he'd ever needed to before, to exorcise Samhain.

As the teacher's body dropped to the floor, Sam slowly raised his eyes to meet Dean's stare. He felt shame that his brother had witnessed him using his power, but not guilt over doing it. Killing Samhain had been a damn sight easier doing it his way.

= X =

"Tomorrow." Uriel's voice boomed through the motel room causing Sam to jump as he packed his clothes into his duffel bag. "November 2nd, it's an anniversary for you."

"What are you going here?" He asked.

"It's the day Azazel killed your mother, and 22 years later your girlfriend too. It must be difficult to bear; yet you so brazenly use the power he gave you. His profane blood pumping through your veins."

"Excuse me?"

"You were told not to use your abilities."

"And what was I supposed to do? That demon would have killed me and my brother, and everyone."

"You were told not to."

"If Samhain had gotten loose in this town-"

"You've been warned, twice now."

"You know? My brother was right about you, you are dicks."

Suddenly Uriel was stood right in front of him, "The only reason you're still alive Sam Winchester is because you've been useful. But the moment that ceases to be true, the second you become more trouble than you're worth, one word – one – and I will turn you to dust." Sam nodded curtly in his direction causing the angel to back off, but he kept talking. "As for your brother, tell him that maybe he should climb off that high horse of his. Ask Dean what he remembers from Hell." He said leaving the sound of fluttering wings in his wake as he disappeared, leaving Sam in the room alone again going over his words.

= X =

Dean was sat on a park bench watching over the kids playing when he got the feeling he wasn't alone. "Let me guess, you're here for the 'I told you so'?"

"No." Castiel replied from his position on the corresponding bench.

"Well, good 'cause I'm really not that interested."

"I am not here to judge you Dean."

"Then why are you here?"

"Our orders-"

"Yeah, you know, I've had about enough of these orders of yours-"

"Our orders were not to stop the summoning of Samhain; they were to do whatever you told us to do."

Dean was stunned. He shifted forward to lean on his knees with his elbows to look at Castiel. "Your orders were to follow my orders?"

"It was a test, to see how you would perform under, battlefield conditions, you might say."

"It was a witch, not the Tet Offensive." He said causing the angel to chuckle. "So I uh- failed your test huh? I get it. But you know what? If you would have waved that magic time travelling wand of yours and we had to do it all over again, I'd make the same call. Cause see, I don't know what's gonna happen when these seals are broken, hell I don't even know what's gonna happen tomorrow. But what do I know is, that this, here... these kids, the swings, the trees, all of it is still here because of my brother and me."

Castiel nodded slightly at him, "You misunderstand me Dean. I'm not like you think; I was praying that you would choose to save the town."

"You were?"

"These people, they're all my father's creations. They're works of art, and yet, even though you stopped Samhain, the seal was broken and we are one step closer to hell on earth, for all creation. Now that's not an expression Dean, it's literal. You of all people should appreciate what that means." Dean looked at him with sad eyes and he continued. "Can I tell you something if you promise not to tell another soul?"

"OK."

"I'm not a... hammer as you say. I have questions. I have doubts. I don't know what is right and what is wrong anymore, whether you passed or failed here. But in the coming months you will have more decisions to make. I don't envy the weight that's on your shoulders Dean. I truly don't."

The two shared a look before Dean looked back out to the children playing, and when he turned his attention back to Castiel, he was gone.


	18. Chapter 18

**SEVENTEEN**

Christina crossed her arms in front of her head to block her attackers attempt to knock her unconscious and countered quickly aiming to hit him in his abdomen but her aim was four inches south of her target. Dean coughed as he doubled over, cupping his crotch and pursed his lips together to prevent the string of profanities that were building up at the back of his throat.

Her hand went up to cover her mouth, "I'm sorry." She apologised automatically.

She'd been back in training a couple of days but so far she wasn't picking it up as easily as she had the first time. Her reflex for survival didn't come as natural as it once had and her frustrations were starting to show.

Dean tried to suck up the pain as he straightened. "It's a good job we have DJ, because I think you killed the Sergeant Major."

Sam laughed as he rounded the corner and they came into view. "Did she get you again?"

He raised his eyebrows, "Third time's a charm." He said struggling to walk past him normally.

Christina growled, "Ugh, why can't I get it?"

"You will." Sam assured her. "But it's going to take longer than two days."

"Except I already know it, that's why it's so frustrating."

He sighed, feeling her disappointment, "What can I do?"

"Nothing. It's all up to me, which is the point." She countered. "I'm going to take a walk. Maybe clearing my head is the answer."

"Want some company?"

"Ah, no thanks Sam. I'm best off on my own." She said before she started to walk away from him.

Now somewhat recovered, Dean made his way back outside in time to see Christina making her way out of the yard. "Where's she off to?"

His brother turned to him with a weary sigh, "Uh, she needs a break."

= X =

Christina walked down the street her father lived on, unaware she was being followed. She was distracted by her fury at her inability to pick up hunting, so she wasn't taking much notice of her surroundings like she'd been taught to over the past two days. She was blinded by rage, and the couple that followed her were sure to use that to their advantage. She had every intention of heading home, but instead she just kept walking.

= X =

Ruby dropped back from walking alongside Alastair as they stalked Christina from thirty paces behind, which caused him to stop and turn his attention to her.

"You're not getting cold feet are you?" He asked in his slithery tone.

"I want her dead as much as you Alastair, but the Winchesters are here. If this attack doesn't go right, we can kiss our plan for Sam goodbye. The whole thing depends on his trust, and if I haven't got that, he's not going to have anything to do with me. Then how are we going to get him to do what we want him to do?" She snapped.

Ruby only cared about Ruby, so to be accused of not having the bottle to go through with killing Christina was insulting. Their plan had taken years to plan and just as long to put into action so, as much as she hated playing on the side of the good guys, the end result depended on it. She couldn't let it all have been for nothing if the brothers were to find her making an attempt on Christina's life.

"Then go. I can handle this."

She hesitated, "She's not as helpless as she looks." She pointed out.

"Look, you either help me and blow your cover or let me deal with her myself, those are your options."

She looked down the street at Christina getting gradually further away before she turned on her heel and walked back the way they'd come.

= X =

As she reached the end of her street, a feeling washed over Christina, one of being watched. She paused on the spot and subtly checked for the gun she had tucked in the back of the waistband on her jeans. If someone was going to test her hunting skills so soon into her training, she was damn sure she was going to go down fighting. She may not have known the techniques of efficient hand-to-hand combat but her desire for survival was strong, and she'd find a way to be hard to kill if that was her follower's intention.

The late hour meant she could hear every footstep they made after her and she was ready to pounce, should the need arise. She kept one eye over her shoulder as she continued to walk with her spine straight, trying to ooze confidence. But deep down, the nerves ran rampant in her abdomen – if she couldn't protect herself against Dean, who didn't mean her any harm – what chance did she have of protecting herself against someone who wanted to hurt her?

Unconsciously her pace quickened as sudden fear struck her heart. If she was going to be attacked; her will alone wouldn't be enough to guarantee her survival so she decided to retreat home except she'd already passed her street. She had to think on her feet and fast.

She steadied her pace and ducked into the nearest alley, with an opening the other end which would enable her to do a loop back to her street. She walked into the darkness between the two buildings and glanced over her shoulder again. She saw the shape of her attacker but quickly moved her eyes forward so as not to let on that she knew she was being followed. But as she stepped onto the lit street the other end she had a new found confidence, only before she had much chance to bask in it, she walked straight into the path of her ex, Danny.

The shock at coming face to face with her was evident on his face, but he acknowledged her regardless. "CJ."

Christina glanced behind her to see if she was still being pursued but when she saw no signs of anyone else, she turned her attention to him. "Hey Danny. How have you been?"

"Better than you from what I hear."

"Well, you shouldn't believe everything you hear."

"You accused me of cavorting with a demon CJ, that's crazy."

She raised her eyebrows, "Yeah, maybe. But demons are real and I can't be bothered to prove that I'm right."

He squinted at her, "What happened to you?"

"I lost my memory Danny, that's what. My whole life just up and disappeared, so believe it or not, being accused of talking crazy is the least of my problems."

He took a minute to think through his next sentence, and didn't hold back what he was thinking. "So, are you and Dean playing happy families again now?"

"Oh, you don't know?" She asked sarcastically. "Your informant needs to do more to keep you informed."

He stood staring at her for a second before he responded, "You know, he's not the Mr Perfect you think he is."

"Nobody is."

"Oh, so you know about the woman in Cicero, Indiana?"

She didn't have any idea what woman he was talking about, but that didn't surprise her because she didn't know many things. Still, she tried not to let her face react. "What are you trying to prove?"

"I'm just not sure you know him as well as you think you do."

"Look Danny, whatever happened between us was nothing to do with Dean."

"Wrong, it had everything to do with him. You're so hooked on him that no one else stands a chance. That's not healthy Christina, especially when he doesn't give a damn about you."

"So you found out about some woman in Indiana and now you think you know him? Newsflash, who I choose to be with, has nothing to do with you. We split up. Move on." She spat out nastily.

"Like you, you mean?" He asked.

She sighed, "Goodbye Danny." She said stepping around him to walk away.

He turned to watch her gradually get further away, "Ask him about Lisa." He shouted down the quiet dark street. But Christina kept walking; unaware she hadn't shaken off her earlier stalker.

= X =

Alastair walked out onto the street in front of Danny and kept his head down. He didn't want to draw attention to himself; he just wanted to slip past him and get to his target. He'd been about to pounce when she'd had an unexpected confrontation, so he'd sat in wait until she moved on. But he couldn't risk her getting through her front door because Ruby had told him about the devil's trap she had overheard her tell Dean and Sam about when they'd confronted her boyfriend and he couldn't get caught in it.

= X =

Dean glanced across at his brother as they waited for Christina's return, "She should be back by now." He said getting to his feet.

"She was pretty frustrated. Maybe it's taking longer to work it out her system this time." Sam suggested.

But his brother shook his head, "No, she'd have been back by now." He said grabbing his jacket from the back of one of the dining room chairs. "I'm going to look for her."

"She's probably just gone home Dean." He tried to talk him out of it.

"Something doesn't feel right." He said, taking his keys out of his pocket and walking out the door.

"I'll just..." Sam started, only to be cut off by being left alone. "...stay here."

= X =

As Christina walked up the steps outside her apartment, she fumbled getting her keys out of her pocket. She still had the feeling of being watched, but she hadn't dared to look behind her for fear of what she might find. She just had to make it inside her apartment and she'd feel safe. But as she waved the fob over the panel to gain access inside and opened the door to the building, she was knocked against the frame with drive and purpose, causing her to hit her head against it. She was immediately disorientated and unable to defend herself – even if she'd wanted to – as she was thrown against the wall behind the flight of stairs up to her floor. She crashed against it and dropped to the floor in a heap. She groaned and attempted to climb to her feet, but a swift kick to her abdomen saw to putting an end to that. She coughed, blood spilling out of her mouth onto her lips, but still she had no idea who her attacker was. She reached back for the gun in her waistband, but it wasn't there.

"Looking for this?" The assailant asked waving her gun at her. He tossed it aside, "Sorry, won't help you. I'm not the human kind."

That was her green light. Over the past few days she'd been learning an exorcism from her father, and now she had the chance to use it – if she could get the pronunciation right. "Omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica, ergo, draco maledicte et omnis legio diabolica, adjuramus te, cessa decipere humanas creaturas..."

But instead of pulling the demon out through his throat, instead there was a laugh. "You've tried that before grasshopper, it didn't work then and it won't work now." His comment made her frown, but suddenly something else had got his attention. "Time to go." He said disappearing from her immediate view and heading out of the back of the building.

She could barely hear the roar of the engine as it pulled to a halt outside and it died as she could feel herself slipping into unconsciousness. The next sound she heard – as her eyes fluttered closed – were footsteps getting closer, then her name... but then everything went black.

= X =

Dean picked up Christina's keys from outside the door and made his way back to where she lay before lifting her into his strong arms and carrying her up to her apartment. He struggled to unlock the door holding her full weight but eventually got inside and kicked the door shut as he rushed to put her down in the middle of her double bed.

With a deep breath, he pulled his cell phone out of his jean pocket and dialled Sam's number.

"Hey, d'you find her?" His brother asked immediately.

"Yeah." He replied. "She's been attacked."

Sam shot to his feet, "What? Who by?"

"Dunno, she's not conscious."

"Where are you?"

"At her apartment."

"Alright, we'll be right there."

"No, stay where you are. There's nothing you can do here. I'll call you as soon as I know anything."

Dean's voice slowly filtered into Christina's hearing in the darkness as she regained consciousness. She could smell his cologne, so she knew he was close. Gradually she opened her eyes and quickly realised she was lying on her bed in her apartment. An instant relief washed over her, finally she was safe.

"Dean." She managed, drawing his attention to her.

He rushed to her side, "Hey, I'm here." He assured her, sitting on the bed.

She automatically made an attempt to sit up but the thumping in her head made her groan and drop back down to the mattress.

He grimaced, "You took quite a hit on the head." He said causing her to raise a hand to investigate the gash on her forehead. "What happened?"

"When I left Dad's I was being followed. I was nearly home when I saw Danny..."

"Danny? Did he do this?"

"No, it was a demon." She said with another groan as her head pounded with the rhythm of her heartbeat. "And I knew him."

"Who was it?"

"I didn't recognise him, but he implied I'd tried to exorcise him before."

"What did he look like?"

"Why does that matter? He's probably hopped into another body by now." She said making him raise his eyebrows in agreement. Silence followed, but only for a minute before she spoke again. "Well, I guess we can assume the training is working." She commented sarcastically causing him to snigger. "Please tell me you didn't tell my father."

He shook his head, "Just Sam."

"Good, because I could really do without him rushing over her to remind me what a failure I am." Another silence ensued as she lay staring up at the ceiling. Suddenly she looked over at him, what Danny had said pushed to the forefront of her mind, "Who's Lisa?"

She could see the frown lines appear on his face as he mentally questioned how she knew the name.

"She was a girl I knew." He replied, choosing not to lie to her.

"Did you two date?"

"I wouldn't say we dated..." He started.

She looked back at the ceiling, sensing the kind of relationship they'd had from what little she'd learned about him and she was instantaneously jealous. She didn't like the thought of him being with another woman, now or in the past. Still, she swallowed it down. "Did you love her?"

He cleared his throat, feeling awkward by her line of questioning, "I guess."

"Do you still love her?" She asked not daring to look at him as he answered. But he didn't.

"Where's this come from?" He asked back wearing a frown.

She shifted her head to the side to look at him before slowly lifting herself off the mattress and sitting just in front of him. "If you love her, where does that put me in your life?"

He reached forward and laid his hand gently on hers, wanting to make his point clear. "CJ, when I picture myself happy it's with you – you and DJ. Lisa isn't even in the equation."

She could hear his sincerity in his voice and she was drawn to him with more power than she'd ever known. Without thinking about it, she leaned forward slightly allowing her lips to press gently against his to find he responded. His hand came up to cup her face as the kiss intensified. But before he could get too carried away, she abruptly forced her lips off his.

"What's the matter?" He asked feeling cold by her sudden distance.

"I remember." She replied stunned. "I remember everything."

"You got everything back from a kiss?"

"You mean to tell me I've been without my memories all this damn time and all it took was a kiss from you to bring them back?"

"Damn I'm good."

She folded her arms across her chest, "Not the time Dean."

He lowered his head like a scolded schoolboy, yet managed a wry smile. "Sorry. So what do we do now?"

"Now, we get our son back!"

But before she got a chance to hot tail it out of the room, Dean grabbed her arm at the door. "Whoa, aren't we going to finish what we started here?"

She took a second before she shifted her weight to one side and rested her hands on her hips, "Sure, tell me about Lisa."

He coughed, "Alright, never mind. Let's go spread the joy that you're back to your old self." He said walking past her out of the room.

"Oh, suddenly he doesn't want to talk." She said to herself before going after him.

But as she twisted her body to change her direction, she had a sharp pain in back before it gave out and she lost her legs causing her to collapse in a bundle on the floor. She was paralysed to the spot with the agony rippling through her body and she couldn't call out to Dean. It wasn't until he realised she wasn't following him that he returned to the apartment.

"CJ." He called out not seeing any sign that she'd tried to follow him. It wasn't until he attempted to walk back in her bedroom that he saw her and he was instantly concerned. "What the hell..."

The pain was evident in her face when she looked up at him with tears stinging her eyes, "I can't move."

"Did you get dizzy?"

She shook her head as much as she could, "It's my back."

He crouched down in front of her, slipping one arm under her legs and placing the other around her back, "I'm going to lift you onto the bed, alright?"

She nodded slightly. She knew she'd been pushing her body lately, what with the retraining, but she hadn't been prepared for her back to suffer because she was all but convinced she was back to normal after all the physiotherapy she'd had while Dean was in Hell. Except she hadn't banked on her spine taking the impact of another demon attack, all but setting her back to the way it had been when she'd got out of hospital. She winced as Dean lifted her from the floor, the pressure of her spine shifting drawing the tears from her eyes.

Her waterworks didn't go unnoticed by the man with her, "What can I do?" He asked laying her horizontal on her mattress.

"Get Castiel down here to lay his mojo on me." She countered through gritted teeth. But no sooner had she spoke, a vision hit her hard. She convulsed on the bed with the added intensity it brought with it.

_Lawrence County, South Dakota – May 14, 2018_

She stirred awake, feeling the person in bed next to her shift and slowly her eyes opened, eventually bringing him into view.

"Morning beautiful." He said smiling down at her.

She smiled back, "Morning."

"I got DJ off to school, the whole day is ours."

She snaked her arms around his neck, "Hmm, what do you have in mind?"

He lowered his head to kiss her tenderly, "I have a few ideas." He said starting to apply butterfly kisses to her neck.

She smiled, "As much as I would love to lie in bed with you _all_ day, I can't. I've got a double shift today."

"Can't you play hooky?"

"Then how would the bills get paid?" She asked allowing him one more kiss before she got out of bed.

He rolled over onto his back as she disappeared into the bathroom. Making an honest living was hard work. They barely had time for each other in between their jobs and the family they always talked about having had been put off. He'd proposed four years ago but they were no closer to getting married now than they had been when they first got together.

With a sigh, he threw the covers off his body and made his way to the bathroom to find her already in the shower. She didn't see him as he slipped into the cubicle behind her and applied a kiss to her shoulder causing her to turn and face him with a smile.

She looked him up and down to find he was already stimulated by their earlier interaction, "Well, hello there Mr Winchester."

He lowered his head to kiss her lips and simultaneously lifted her onto his hips. She wrapped her legs around him and braced herself for their love-making as he gently eased her against the wall of the cubicle. She bit her bottom lip in anticipation as he entered her. She gripped his shoulders, slightly digging her nails into the skin as he thrust inside her, stimulating her body and she tingled from the sensation it created.

They'd been trying to get pregnant so they could extend their family, but every month when her menstrual cycle came round they lost a little more hope that it was going to happen.

He looked at her, there was a certain glow about her when they made love that gave him a Superman complex; there was nothing he couldn't do as long as she was with him and that made him invincible.

The love between them had developed into one that romantic novels boasted about. They never got bored of each other's company, they were on each other's minds when they weren't together and when they were; it was like nobody else existed. They were almost the perfect family unit, but they were desperate to conceive.

DJ was 10 years old now, he hadn't been a baby for so long and yet she missed the days when he was – even with the chaos that had ensued. She remembered that time like the days had happened yesterday, but the reality was that he was an independent kid – thanks to his family heritage. A hunters obligation started early in life and he was already an excellent shot. He was growing up too quickly for her liking, she'd wanted to protect him and allow him to have a normal childhood, but that had been wishful thinking. She knew Dean had been right to insist he was trained like they had been; for his own safety, only she could feel his need for her slipping away with every new skill he mastered. It was like he was a 30-year-old in a boy's body. He'd got a natural flair for hunting and a smart mouth – both traits of his father – which meant they sometimes butted heads, especially when he insisted on being treated like an adult and she had to remind him of his age.

= X =

Christina rushed around the kitchen of the house they now occupied as she struggled to get everything together for work, "Don't forget to pick up the flowers I ordered on the way to the cemetery." She reminded him.

He nodded as he propped against the worktop sipping at his coffee. He'd never actually forgotten the flowers but every year on the anniversary of his death, she would remind him. "What time do you want us to meet you?"

She picked up her keys and hesitated, "Um... I should be done at work for six so give DJ his dinner first."

Placing his mug on the work top, he walked over to her before she had a chance to do a mad dash for the front door and kissed her with lingering passion, "I'm going to miss you today." He announced prying his lips from hers.

"Hmm..." She allowed her contentment to bounce off the surrounding walls. "I love you."

"I love you too."

= X =

The three of them stood at his headstone. It was hard to believe he'd been gone eight years already, especially when it seemed like he was invincible.

"Hey Dad." Christina said, speaking to him as though he was standing in front of her. "We've brought you some fresh flowers." She continued removing her last bouquet and replacing them with a new one.

He looked on, watching her clean up his grave with a heavy heart. There wasn't a day that passed that he didn't see the sadness in her that her father's death created and there wasn't a thing he could do to make it go away.

He reached down to ruffle 10-year-old DJ's hair, "You OK little guy?"

He nodded a response, "I miss him."

"We all do buddy, we all do."

= X =

Making their way back to the car, Christina grabbed his hand for support. Despite visiting Bobby's grave every month, it was still difficult for her. Naturally, she'd taken his death hard and it had been an uphill battle to get her back to living her life. He'd been the one who had pulled her back from the brink, but it was like she was burying him all over again when she came here – and even though it was just his ashes lying there, she always felt like she was walking away from him, leaving him alone.

He looked down at her, "You OK?" He asked squeezing her hand.

"Yeah, it just doesn't seem to get any easier."

Without warning DJ's voice rang out clearly in the silence of the cemetery, "Dad!" He called out running ahead of them toward his target.

Christina watched as her son jumped into Dean's arms and she looked up at Sam, her fiancé, "I guess better late than never."

He was meant to meet them at the grave a few times and had never shown up. It had been months since they'd seen him and if it wasn't for DJ calling every week, she wasn't sure they'd ever hear from him.

"Don't be too hard on him CJ. He hasn't quite adjusted to us yet." He reminded her.

But she refused to believe that was what the problem was, "It's been six years Sam, he can't keep using us as an excuse to stop living his life. Besides, was I meant to wait around forever for him to get his act together and actually admit his feelings? I had a life too and I'm a thousand times happier with you than I ever was with him. At this point I only tolerate him because he's DJ's father and even that's wearing thin." She spat out in a whisper as they got closer. Except when they reached Dean she forced a smile, "You made it."

= X =

Christina looked across at Dean as Sam passed him a beer while they sat around in the lounge. DJ had gone to visit friends with the assurance that his father would be there when he returned so she was going to take this opportunity to have her say, before he got back.

She took a deep breath, "So, where have you been?"

"Around." He responded with a one word answer.

"What have you been doing?"

"Oh, you know, the usual."

"Actually Dean, I don't know. It's been months since you've been here."

"I've been busy."

"And how long are you planning to stay this time?"

"A few nights, unless of course that's an inconvenience."

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Make this about us not wanting you here. It's your fault you don't come around anymore; no one made you stay away."

"CJ." Sam attempted to defuse the awaiting time bomb, but it was as though he wasn't in the room.

"Oh, I'm supposed to be alright with you and brother playing happy families am I?" Dean asked the woman he was still in love with.

"It's been six years Dean; shouldn't you be over that by now?"

"You don't have a sister so you don't know how it feels."

"You're right, I don't. But you don't talk about your feelings, so how am I supposed to understand?"

He rolled his eyes, "Maybe you had a right to know my feelings when we were together but you lost that the minute you climbed into bed with him." He said pointing at his brother.

"That's the point, you had every opportunity to let me know how you felt, but you didn't. So I moved on."

"With my brother."

"Yes Dean, with your brother."

"Come on guys, we can't keep rehashing the same thing. It's done now." Sam tried again to be the voice of reason.

"That's easy for you to say, you got the girl." Dean countered.

"So now you're going to turn on me?"

"Why not? It's as much your doing as hers."

"God, how many times do I have to tell you, this wasn't planned?" She insisted as she had from the start.

"That doesn't make it right."

Christina growled as she got to her feet, "I can't keep having this same argument." She said heading to the kitchen.

Sam looked at his brother as he stood up, "I'm going to let you two talk. Sort it out, for DJ."

Dean watched him leave the house by the front door and got to his feet to go after Christina. Walking into the room he saw her supporting herself on the worktop and drying her eyes. He instantly hated himself for being the one to reduce her to tears.

"Sorry." He said announcing his close proximity.

She spun to face him, "This has got to stop Dean. You can't keep punishing me for getting on with my life; it's not fair on DJ. He idolises you."

He approached to put his arms around her in an offer of comfort and she took it, "I'm sorry."

But after a few minutes she pulled away, "He loves you and he wants to see you. It's not fair for you to keep away from him because of me."

"I know. But it hurts to see you with him." He said honestly. "I still love you."

His admission caught her off guard, causing her to look up into his eyes, "What?"

"I love you Christina." He repeated before leaning forward and placing his lips on hers. Surprisingly she didn't fight his affection, instead her arms travelled up his body to his neck.

_Christina's Apartment, South Dakota – Present Day_

When Christina came to she was staring up at the ceiling of her bedroom. Her vision had left a bitter taste in her mouth. All the emotions she'd felt in her future had been so strong. She'd been completely in love with Sam and remembered every moment of their history whenever they'd touched. She could feel her desire to have his baby and the disappointment as every month produced a negative result. But all those emotions came to a head when Dean had kissed her; he was the one she truly wanted.

She'd been contented and happy with Sam but she couldn't help hoping it was only a guideline and not written in stone, because if it was true, her and Sam would start their relationship in four years time and her father would be dead in just under two. A flash of his headstone sprang to her mind as if she'd committed it to memory – _May 14, 2010 _ – and she knew she had to prevent that happening at all costs. Her father was her life; if she lost him she'd be better off dead than living without him.

"You OK, CJ?" She heard Dean ask above her head.

"Did you get Castiel?" She asked shifting her head what little she could to see him.

"Did you have a vision?"

"No. I must've passed out from the pain." She lied. She couldn't tell him the truth. Not now and not what she'd seen, especially when she was going to go to great lengths to ensure that wasn't the future she wanted. "Now, would you just get Cas to lay his heeling hands on me already?"

Dean called the angel forward. "Heel her."

Castiel didn't need telling a second time. Opening his right hand over her abdomen, a bright white light beamed through her body and she could instantly feel the effects. The pain gradually subsided leaving relief in its wake, and no sooner was he finished than she was sitting upright.

"Are you OK Princess?" Her father asked from the doorway.

But she couldn't bring herself to make eye contact, too afraid she'd break down. So instead she nodded. "It just caught me off guard."

"I tried to tell you that you had to take it easy." He reminded her of his constant warning.

"I know, I didn't listen. But it doesn't matter now, Cas made me like new again." She said before looking at the angel. "You did make me like new right?"

He nodded, "I repaired the damage to your spine."

"Good." She said swinging her legs off the bed and getting to her feet. "Now you can go and get my son."

He frowned in Dean's direction. "She got her memories back." He explained.

"How?" Castiel asked looking back at her.

"It doesn't matter. Just get me my son back or I will march upstairs and get him back myself, and God help anyone who tries to stop me."

He seemed to understand her threat, "I will get him right back to you." He said before disappearing.

She breathed a sigh of relief. "Finally things can get back to normal round here." She said walking out of her bedroom into the living room.

But before Sam could follow Bobby after her, Dean pulled him back, "Hey, did you tell CJ about Lisa?" He asked using a hush tone.

He frowned, "No."

"So, why did she ask me about her tonight?"

"Dean, I've never mentioned Lisa."

"Then that begs the question, who did?"

= X =

When Bobby and Dean went out to get some provisions, Sam had been left in charge of watching Christina, even though she'd insisted she didn't need company. She'd been quiet since she'd come round from her vision, except for her demand for DJ to be returned to her and Sam knew something was playing on her mind.

"What's the matter?" He asked breaking the silence of the room.

She hesitated for a minute, but she needed to talk about what she'd seen and he was the only one that she could share it with. "I saw my future."

"What did you see?" He asked inquisitively with a slight frown.

She took a deep breath, "We were trying for a baby."

"That's great. It means that despite this mess you and Dean still end up together."

"Not me and Dean Sam, me and you."

"What?"

She shrugged, "It's what I saw."

"Well, you've had some weird dreams in the past..." He started to offer an explanation.

But she stopped his train of thought, "Yeah, dreams. But this was a vision Sam; I saw and felt everything as it happened. I loved you more than I ever thought I loved Dean and we were happy."

"C'mon CJ, you don't believe that we're really going to end up together do you?"

"All of my visions have happened Sam, all of them. So why would this be any different?"

"Because... you love Dean."

"Yeah, now I love Dean. But a lot can happen in four years."

"Is that when it's supposed to happen?"

She nodded, "Two years after..." She trailed off. "You know, all the stuff that's supposed to happen between me and you can be prevented, I can just refuse to give into it. But how am I supposed to stop someone dying when I don't know how it happens?"

He instantly stopped, "Who dies?"

She dared to force her eyes up to his, "My Dad."

"Bobby?" He repeated with a frown, barely believing it.

She nodded, "May 14th, 2010."


	19. Chapter 19

**EIGHTEEN**

Christina smiled as she watched her son playing with his toys on the floor like he'd never been away from her. He'd been back with her a couple of hours and was seemingly unfazed by their separation, she wasn't sure whether that disturbed or comforted her, but it was enough that he was back with her, where he belonged.

"You OK?" Dean asked noting how unusually quiet she was.

She exchanged glances with Sam before returning her eyes to her son, "Yeah."

The look didn't go unnoticed by his father, "What's going on?"

"What?" She asked thinking she'd been subtle. "Nothing. Why?"

"There's something you're not telling me."

She threw another glance at her father and motioned with her head for Dean to follow her as she got to her feet and headed toward her bedroom. Once they were both inside she pushed the door to a quiet close and took a deep breath. "I lied earlier." She confessed.

His brow furrowed, "About what?"

"I didn't pass out, I had a vision."

"So why didn't you tell me?"

"Because of what I saw." She said perching on the end of her bed.

He turned toward her, "What did you see?"

"I was visiting my dad's grave." She replied with a heavy heart, sparing him the rest of the details.

Somewhat in shock, he shifted to drop down beside her, "Bobby dies?" She nodded slightly to answer him. "When?"

"May 14th, 2010."

"That's not even two years away."

"I know."

"Did you see how?"

She shook her head, "I just saw the gravestone." She said as grief struck her to the core again. "It was eight years later and I still felt consumed by the pain of his loss."

"Was that all you saw?"

She nodded, not daring to lie to him out loud. "I can't lose him Dean." She said stifling the sob developing in her throat.

He slipped his arm around her, "We can stop it."

Her mind immediately went to the rest of her vision, "Except, what if that future has already been written and we can't change it, no matter how much we try to?"

"We just have to keep Bobby from doing anything stupid."

"And how do we do that?"

"We tell him." He said attempting to climb to his feet.

But she reached out to grab his forearm, stopping him, "No. You can't tell him, he shouldn't know."

He couldn't believe his ears, "At least if he knows he can help us stop it."

"No, he'll just be waiting for it to happen. It's better for him if he doesn't know."

"He should know CJ. Wouldn't you want to be prepared?"

"I can't Dean. I can't tell him."

"Then I'll do it."

= X =

Bobby sat stunned into silence at the news Dean had told him on his daughter's behalf. "Well, I guess that's it then."

"No Dad, that's not it. We can stop it, _you_ can stop it." Christina enforced.

"I don't see how if you don't know how it happens." He replied negatively.

"But I know when it happens, so we just have to keep you safe."

"Keep me out of the fight? Then what's the point?"

"The point is you'll be alive." She stated before looking at Dean. "See, this is why I didn't want to tell him because he's already given up."

"It's not about giving up Princess; it's about making peace with it."

"No, you're not done here yet and I won't let you go without a fight."

"And what if we can't prevent it? Isn't it better to say goodbye while we've got the time to do it then spend the months we have together on a fool's errand?"

"No, because I need you here – your _grandson _needs you here – so I refuse to sit around just waiting for you to die." She said disappearing to the kitchen to regain her composure.

But she wasn't alone for long before she was joined by Sam, "Did you tell him the rest?" He asked referring to how much of her vision she'd confided to his brother.

"Shhh." She encouraged his discretion as she whispered. "No I didn't tell him the rest. There's nothing else he needed to know."

"Maybe if you told him we could all put the extra effort into making sure it doesn't happen."

"Put the extra effort into making sure what doesn't happen?" Dean asked from the doorway, having heard the tail end of their discussion despite their hushed tone.

She looked at the younger brother, "Nice one Sam."

He looked at her apologetically, "He should know everything."

"Have you even stopped to think that telling him could be the very thing that makes that future what it is?"

He was momentarily silent, "I never thought of it like that."

"No, and now it's too late because I have to tell him. Hence I reiterate, nice one Sam."

"Could one of you just tell me what you're talking about?" Dean stated impatiently.

She took a deep breath, "I saw something else in my vision, and I didn't want to tell you in case it created a chain of events causing it to happen but _big mouth_ here has made that nigh on impossible now so, here goes. In my vision..." She hesitated and took another deep breath, before exhaling heavily. "Wow, this is harder to say than I thought."

"CJ?"

"I saw Sam and I... together."

He raised his eyebrows, "Together?" He repeated, "As in, _together_ together?"

Sam cleared his throat, "We were engaged."

He paced, "Wow, engaged."

"It's not like I have any control over what I see Dean."

"But that's the future you saw?"

"Yes, but like you said, the future can be changed, it's not like I'm a prophet."

Suddenly he turned to face her, "And since when have your visions been open to interpretation?"

She dropped her head, doubting the likeliness of changing the outcome she saw when all her previous predictions had actually occurred. "I don't want to be with Sam Dean, that won't change." She spoke honestly.

"And maybe you just can't fight against the future."

"That's the kind of defeatist attitude I've come to expect from you. But I refuse to let that, or my Dad's death, happen – regardless of your help."

Sam looked across at his brother as they were left alone, "We can both stop the future she saw happening. But you have to plug back into the relationship before it's too late."

"Relationship advice? Really?" He came back with.

"Look Dean, you either want it to work with CJ or you don't. You gotta make up your mind, and – if you do – don't wait until she's completely given up on you before letting her know just how much she means to you."

"I've already told her how I feel, twice."

"And that's it? If you want to be with her, you should tell her every day, tell her until you're sick of saying it because I can guarantee that the future she saw isn't the one she wants."

"Then why is it that no matter what happens, you two always seem to end up together?"

"You know that she has no control over her visions, but she's right, the future can be changed."

"You can't know that."

"You're right. But either you go down fighting, or you'll lose the one person outside this family that I think you've ever truly loved – heart

and soul."

_= A Few Days Later =_

Sam leaned on the pool table with a cue in his hand seemingly inebriated as a big burly man moved the balls around the table. "Alright, come on man, just one more; just- just give me a chance to win it back." He asked of his opponent.

"It's your cash." The biker looking man replied.

But before he could rack up the balls, Dean approached and addressed the man, "Excuse me, my brother's a little sauced to be making bets."

"Hey, he insisted."

"Yeah, but you've already taken what? Two bills off him? I'm just saying."

The youngest of them leaned over the table toward him, "Hey, shut up Dean, I'm fine." He insisted in his intoxicated state.

"No, you're not fine, you're drunk." The elder man clarified.

But Sam wasn't impressed by his brother's interference, "Let's make it five hundred."

Dean raised his eyebrows in astonishment, "Five hundred?" He repeated as Sam held up a wad of cash.

"Sure." His opposition agreed to the increased bet as he racked up the balls and Sam slammed the bills down on the table. "Five hundred. Your break."

Dean wore a smug grin as he and his brother exchanged a look; Sam's drunk routine was working like a charm on their mark – and not for the first time. The youngest brother leaned over the table to take a shot and potted two solid colour balls, much to the man's shock. But as he stood up straight, Sam spotted Ruby sitting at the bar and his jaw clenched.

"Keep the money." He said snapping out of his act and tossing his cue on the table before heading toward her.

Dean was stunned, "Keep the money? What?" He asked, following him with his eyes. Spotting Ruby, he grabbed his beer and followed Sam, instantly pissed off by her timing.

"Hey-" Sam greeted her somewhat warmly.

But his brother wasn't so welcoming, "Well, you got a lot of nerve showing up anywhere near me."

"I just have some info and then I'm gone." She answered.

Sam looked concerned, "What is it?"

"I'm hearing a few whispers."

"Ooh, great, demon whispers, that's reliable." Dean said sarcastically, not impressed as he moved over to the bar, just in earshot, but trying to stay as far from Ruby as he could.

Sam stood in front of her, with his arms crossed, listening to her intently as she continued with the reason for her unexpected appearance.

"Girl named Anna Milton escaped from a locked ward yesterday. The demons seem pretty keen on finding her. Apparently some real heavy hitters turned out for the Easter-egg hunt."

"Why? Who is she?"

"No idea, but I'm thinking that she's important because the order is to capture her alive." She answered bringing a look of surprise to his face. "I just figured that whatever the deal is, you might wanna find this girl before the demons do."

Dean shook his head in disbelief. But Sam nodded and looked tentatively over his shoulder at him, "Look, maybe we should check it out."

He forced an irritated smile Ruby's way, "Actually, we're working a case, but thanks."

"What case?" She snapped.

"Uh... we've got leads, big leads."

"Sounds dangerous." She sarcastically came back with.

"Yeah, well it sure ain't goose chasing after some chick who for all we know doesn't even exist just because you say she's important."

"I'm just delivering the news; you can do whatever you want with it. Far as I'm concerned, I told you, I'm done." She said getting up to leave.

But Sam grabbed her by the arm to stop her. "Wait, wait, wait, this hospital Anna escaped from, it got a name?"

= X =

As Dean drove down the rain slicked road toward their destination, Sam sat in the passengers' side on the phone, enquiring about the woman Ruby had told them about. "Can I get a copy of the Missing Person's report?"

Dean, looking ahead at the road, rolled his eyes. He was extremely irritated that Sam had volunteered him to follow Ruby's tip without as much as a second thought about her ulterior motive. He kept his eyes forward – the rain softly hitting the roof and sliding down the windows of the car as it moved at speed along the road – while his brother made his enquiries.

"Great. OK. Thanks." His brother said into the phone before ending the call and addressing his brother, "Well, Anna Milton's definitely real."

"Don't mean the case is real. This hospital's a three day drive." He countered.

"We've driven further for less, Dean." He reminded him, only to get a disapproving head shake in response. "You got something to say, say it."

"Oh, I'm saying it. This sucks."

"You're not pissed we're going after the girl. You're pissed Ruby threw us the tip."

"Right, 'cause as far as you're concerned, the Hell bitch is practically family. Oh boy, something major must've happened while I was downstairs 'cause I come back and- and- you're BFF with a demon?" He asked with a frown.

Sam was weary of rehashing the same story, so when he spoke his tone represented that. "I told you Dean. She helped me go after Lilith."

"Well, thanks for the thumbnail. Real vivid. You wanna fill in a little detail?"

"Sure, Dean, let's trade stories. You first. How was Hell? Don't spare the details."

He threw a quick glance across at him, knowing he wasn't ready to share that information with anyone – let alone his brother, and concentrated on driving bringing a tension to rest between them. A few seconds passed before Sam broke his gaze from the side of his brother's head and stared out of the windshield as the rain continued to cascade down from the heavens.

_At The Crossroads, Six Months Ago - __June 26, 2008_

Sam frantically dug into the ground with his right hand as the tears stung his eyes. His brother had been dragged to Hell a little over 5 weeks ago and the pain of it wasn't getting any easier. He'd been distracted watching over DJ while his mother lay in a coma, but now she was making a recovery he'd been able to get back to grieving. He'd taken to drinking and bottling his feelings from the very people who he should've been relying on to help him deal with life after Dean, and so here he was in an attempt to get him back.

He slid a box into the shallow hole he'd dug in the middle of the crossroads and covered it back over. Standing, he used his foot to scrap more of the loose gravel back into place as he took a swig from the whiskey bottle he held in his left hand. Satisfied he'd completed what was asked of him to summon the demon, he looked around and waited. But he was anything but patient, he was a broken man, a shell of his former self, and he wanted his brother back.

"Come on! Where the hell are you?" He yelled into the darkness.

In frustration he threw the bottle he held causing it to collide with a sign post at the side of the road and shatter and that's when he noticed a figure in the distance.

"I was wondering whether to come or not. I mean, you shot one of my co-workers." A male crossroads demon shouted back at him. Sam tried to focus and started to stumble toward him. "Don't take this the wrong way Sam, but you don't look so hot, buddy." His eyes flashed red and his voice lowered as the young Winchester man got closer. "I guess burying your brother didn't agree with you."

Reaching the wooden barrel that stood between them, Sam looked at the demon with pure hatred in his eyes and threw his arms up in an offer of surrender but the demon didn't move.

"Well?" Sam asked.

"Well, let's see that special little knife of yours first."

He took the knife out of the back of his waistband and held it up for him to see before slamming it down on the barrel in front of him, "No Devil's Traps either. I'm not here to play games."

The crossroads demon walked out from the shadows into the light and started toward him slowly, "Well, let me guess, you want to make a deal?" He assumed. "And round and round the Winchester's go." He said mockingly getting to the barrel and leaning on it with both hands flat on the top. "Sorry Sam, that's not gonna happen."

Sam broke his eyes away with a scoff before grabbing the knife and stabbing it through the demons right hand, pinning him to the barrel. The demon tried to grab it, to free himself, but Sam broke his hand away with his free one and held it down to allow the pain of the knife to take hold.

"I don't want ten years. I don't want one year." He told him as he struggled to get free. "I don't want candy. I want to trade places with Dean."

But the demon was instantaneous with his answer, "No."

"Just take me! It's a fair trade!" He yelled.

He was resolute despite his pain, "No."

Sam was horrified as the crossroads demon broke into a smile, "Why not? Lilith wants me dead. Just let Dean go and she can have me."

"Don't you understand, Sam? It's not about your soul. Dean's in Hell, right where we want him. We've got everything exactly the way we want it. You want to kill me? Go ahead. I've made peace with my Lord."

In one fail swoop Sam removed the knife from his hand with a grunt and sliced across the demon's throat killing him.

= X =

Christina went about her motherly duties like she'd never been forcibly separated from her son, but the fact she hadn't spoken to Dean since confessing the full extent of her vision weighed on her mind. She couldn't help thinking that this was exactly how she'd come to see her future with Sam, because Dean refused to deal with how he felt about her – despite admitting his feelings to her twice. She hadn't made any reference to his admittance while she was minus her memories, thinking it better to let him think she didn't remember, but she thought about it frequently. If he was prepared to put his emotions on the line for her a second time, why couldn't he bring himself to fight for them?

_Ward 42, __Connor Beverly Behavioural Medicine Centre_

"Of course, I wanna help however I can." The psychiatrist told the brothers posing as agents from the Sheriff's Department as they stood inside Anna Milton's room.

"The orderly has no recollection of Anna's escape?" Sam asked as Dean stood away from them looking around the room for any clues to help them with the case.

"Apparently she knocked him unconscious. Uh, the blow caused some amnesia, he doesn't even remember coming into her room."

Dean joined them at his brothers side, "That's a hell of a right hook to knock out a guy that's got eighty pounds on her."

"We think she may have planned this, waited behind the door." She replied leading the Winchester's out of the room into the hallway.

"Right. Uh, you mentioned Anna's illness was recent." Sam kept the lines of enquiry open.

"Two months ago she was happy, well-adjusted. Journalism major, lots of friends, bright future."

"So what happened? She just flipped?" Dean asked.

"Well, that's the tragedy of schizophrenia. Within weeks Anna was overtaken by delusions."

"What kind of delusions?" Sam asked.

The psychiatrist handed him the patient's sketchpad, "She thought demons were everywhere."

"Huh-"

"Interesting." Dean commented as his brother opened the book to find sketches of a circular window with a cross above them.

"It's not uncommon for our patients to believe that monsters are real." The doctor continued.

"Well, that- that's just batty."

Sam turned the page to find the words 'raising of the witnesses' in bold text with the symbol of the seal it represented in the middle of it, and opposite it was a drawing of a witness with empty eyes, which caused him concern. He exchanged a glance with his brother before clearing his throat as he turned the page. A drawing of Samhain looked back at him surrounded by houses and jack-o-lanterns and above it was the text: Samhain the next seal is broken.

Dean seemed to immediately forget they weren't alone and spoke to his brother out of character, "It's Revelations." To which Sam nodded his response.

"Since when does the Book of Revelations have jack-o-lanterns?" The psychiatrist asked causing Dean to remember his cover.

"It's a uh- it's a little known translation." He replied.

"Ah, well, Anna's father was a church Deacon. When she became ill, her paranoia took on religious overtones. She was convinced the devil was about to rise up and end the world." Both brothers stood stunned into silence. "I hope you find her. It's dangerous for her to be out there alone right now."

= X =

Still dressed in their official attire, the Winchesters walked up the path toward the Milton house and up the couple of steps onto the porch before Dean knocked on the glass inset of the front door. He looked through to see if there was any movement inside and Sam noticed two cars in the driveway.

"Maybe they're not home." The eldest brother suggested.

"Both cars in the driveway." The younger came back with.

Dean tried the doorknob only to find the door was unlocked. He looked back at Sam, who raised an eyebrow, before he entered calling out to whoever was inside, "Mr and Mrs Milton?"

Sam entered behind his brother, "We're from the Sheriff's Department." He added as Dean walked down the hall and he closed the door. "We just wanted to ask you a couple of questions." He continued making his way into the lounge to find two dead bodies on the floor with their necks slashed.

He exhaled loudly as his brother came back to the room and witnessed the scene. A powder substance caught Sam's eye and he made his way over to crouch beside Mrs Milton in order to investigate. Upon touching it, he brought his fingers up to his nose only to grunt at the sour smell.

"Sulfur. The demons beat us here." He informed his brother as he brushed his fingers together. "Whatever the deal is with this Anna girl-"

"Yeah, they want her. And they're not screwing around." He countered looking around. He moved to a stack of mail on the mantle above the fireplace. "Alright, so, I'm _Girl Interrupted_ and I know the score of the Apocalypse-" He said as Sam stood up and crossed the room to a picture of Anna with her parents. "Just busted out of the nut box – possibly using superpowers, by the way – where do I go?"

His brother picked up the frame to get a closer look, "Hey, you got those sketches from Anna's notebook?"

"Yeah." He replied putting the mail back as Sam walked over, still holding the picture.

"Let me see 'em." Dean pulled the sketches out of his inner jacket pocket and handed them to his brother. "Check this out." He continued, flipping to one of the coloured pictures Anna had drawn and putting it down on the end table next to the framed photo.

"She was drawing the window of her church." Dean realised noticing the similarities of the window in both pictures.

"Over and over." Sam added. "If you were religious, scared and had demons on your ass, where would you go to feel safe?"

= X =

Sam and Dean walked up a set of wooden stairs into the room behind the big stained glass window in Anna's drawings with their guns drawn.

Instantly the youngest brother noticed someone hiding behind some framed stained glass artwork and pointed it out to him, "Dean."

They continued forward and the figure moved behind the glass, almost frantically, causing Sam to realise he'd got his gun trained on her. So, holding it up, he returned his weapon to the back of his jeans waistband, encouraging Dean to do the same.

"Anna? We're not gonna hurt you. We're here to help." He spoke into the silence of the room. But the girl didn't move. "My name is Sam. This is my brother, Dean."

"Sam? Not Sam Winchester?" She asked.

The brothers exchanged a look of confusion, "Uh-yeah."

Anna rushed from her hiding place and stood directly ahead of them, "And you're Dean. _The_ Dean?"

"Well, yeah... The Dean... I guess." He answered looking a little smug, which didn't go unnoticed by his brother, who rolled his eyes.

"It's really you." She said moving toward them, slightly excited. "Oh my God, the angels talk about you. You were in Hell, but Castiel pulled you out and some of them think you can help save us." She continued before looking at Sam. She paused for a moment before she spoke again, "And some of them don't like you at all." Sam didn't take her news kindly, but didn't speak as she looked back and forth between the two of them. "They talk about you all the time lately. I feel like I know you."

"So you talk to angels?" Dean asked.

"Oh, no, no, no, no way. Um, they probably don't even know I exist. I just kind of overhear them."

Sam was surprised, "You overhear them?"

"Yeah, they talk and sometimes I just hear them in my head."

"Like, right now?" Dean asked.

"Not right this second. But a lot, and I can't shut them out there are so many of them."

"So they lock you up with a case of the crazies, when really you were just tuning in to angel radio?"

The relief that someone finally believed her presented itself in her expression, "Yes, thank you."

Dean nodded sympathizing with her, knowing that she probably got the same look as they did when they told people that monsters were real.

"Anna, when did the voices start? Do you remember?" Sam inquired.

"I can tell you exactly, September 18th." She replied.

"The day I got out of Hell." His brother said mindlessly.

"First words I heard – clear as a bell – Dean Winchester is saved."

"What do you think?"

Sam scoffed, "It's above my pay grade man."

"Well, at least now we know why the demons want you so bad. They get a hold of you; they can hear everything the other side's cooking. You're 1-900-Angel." He said with a nervous laugh.

Anna smiled a small smile, "Hey, um, do you know, are my parents OK? I- I didn't go home, I was afraid."

But before either of them could answer, the door behind the brothers slammed open and Ruby walked in.

"You got the girl? Good, let's go." She said.

"Oh! Her face!" Anna yelled backing away from the new arrival.

"No, it's OK. She's here to help." Sam said to calm her down.

"Yeah, don't be so sure." Dean countered under his breath.

"We have to hurry." Ruby said paying no mind to his backhanded comment.

"Why?"

"Because a demon's coming. Big-timer. We can fight later, Dean."

"Well, that's pretty convenient. Showing up right when we find the girl with some big wig on your tail."

"I didn't bring him here. You did."

"What?"

"He followed you from the girl's house. We gotta go now!"

Sam turned back toward Anna and something behind her caught his eye causing him to point in its direction, "Dean-"

He followed his brothers' finger to see the statue of Mary crying blood.

Ruby saw it too and she was visibly scared, "It's too late. He's here."

Sam instantly thought of Anna's safety, "Come with me." He said looking around for a place she'd be safe as Dean drew his gun and moved toward the statue watching in amazement. Finding an empty closet Sam encouraged the girl inside. "OK. Stay in there. Don't move." He instructed her.

She looked scared, but agreed. "OK."

Sam rushed back to where his brother stood and removed a flask of holy water out of his inside jacket pocket. But Ruby knew that would be useless against the demon coming for them.

"No Sam. You gotta pull him right away." She told him.

His brother glared at her, "Whoa, hold on a sec-"

"Now's not the time to bellyache about Sam going dark side. He does his thing, he exorcises that demon, or we die." She informed him in no uncertain terms.

The brothers exchanged a look of worry and Sam put the flask back where he'd taken it from before facing the door. They could hear footsteps the other side and he stood tall, ready to attack as soon as the demon showed itself. The door swung open with force, revealing him in the human host sneering as he made his way up to their level. Holding his hand out in front of him, Sam used his psychic power to exorcise the demon inside, and although he reached up to grab his throat, the demon's eyes flashed white and he coughed.

"That tickles." He announced, causing a look of desperation to cross all of their faces. "You don't have the juice to take me on Sam." He said pulling at him with his hand and sending him flying forward, through the wooden banister and the door to plummet down the steps.

Dean instantly reacted, taking Ruby's knife from his back pocket he lunged at him but the demon restricted his movement, "Hello again, Dean." He said turning him and slamming him against the wall.

While everyone was occupied, Ruby opened the closet door causing Anna to scream, "Oh no. No! No!"

The demon forced Dean to drop the knife, punching him repeatedly in the face and making his nose bleed. Suddenly he stopped his attack, holding him against a pillar, "Come on, don't you recognise me?" He asked the hunter. "Oh, I forgot, I'm wearing a paediatrician." He said hitting him a few more times. "But we were so close... in Hell."

Dean took another hit to the face and looked up at him, his nose and lip bleeding, "Alastair?"

The demon chuckled and hit him again. But he sensed movement behind him and turned in time to find Sam coming at him with Ruby's knife. He was too late to stop him as he plunged the blade into Alastair's chest.

But he was resolute, "You're gonna have to try a whole lot harder than that son."

He swung Sam around and bent to remove the knife. While he was distracted, Sam went to his brother and they exchanged looks before looking toward the stain glassed window to their left. They thought in sync and made a run for it while Alastair groaned in pain as he removed the object from his chest. He turned his attention to them in time to watch them crash through the window and made his way over to the hole. He looked down at the ground and then at the knife in his hand, before backing away.

_Back At The Motel – Present Day_

Sam groaned in pain as he sat on one of the beds stitching a horizontal gash on his left upper bicep with a needle and thread, while Dean rinsed his mouth out, spitting blood into the sink in the open bathroom.

"Are you almost done?" The oldest brother asked with pain evident in his voice.

"Ahh, I'm going as fast as I can." He responded.

"Good. Cause you know I got a dislocated shoulder over here." He said crossing the room toward the table.

"Yeah- I'll pop it back when I'm finished."

Dean grabbed the bottle of whiskey from the table and took a drink to try and dull the pain. He watched his brother tie a knot in the thread, closing his wound, and use a small pair of scissors to remove the excess.

He looked at the bottle in his brothers hand and motioned for it, "Gimme that."

Realising what he was requesting, Dean passed Sam the bottle and witnessed him pour some on his gash with a wince. "So you lost the magic knife, huh?"

"Yeah, saving your ass." Sam countered. "Who the hell was that demon?"

"No one good." He replied, standing at the foot of the bed. "We gotta find Anna."

"Ruby's got her. I'm sure she's OK." He said looking up at his brother's arm. "Alright, come on." He said getting to his feet. Dean leaned on the bed with his good arm, bracing himself for Sam to pop his shoulder back into place. "On three. One-"

The snap of his shoulder locking back into place bounced off the surrounding walls and caused Dean to yell in pain. He walked back toward the bathroom, his face contorted with pain, as Sam sat back down and placed a towel against his wound to try and stop the bleeding.

Dean looked through the mirror at his brother, "You sure about Ruby?" He asked turning to face him. "Cause I think it's just as likely she used us to find radio girl and then brought that demon in to kill us."

"No, she took Anna to keep her safe."

He scoffed at the thought and turned back to the mirror, "Yeah." He said unconvinced as he placed an ice pack on his shoulder. "Well, why hasn't she called to tell us where she is?"

"Because that demon is probably watching us right now. Waiting for us to follow us right back to Anna again. That's why he let us go." He snapped.

Dean allowed an ironic laugh to escape from his mouth, "You call this letting us go?"

"Yeah, I do. Look, killing us would have been no problem to that thing. That's why for now we just gotta lay low and wait for Ruby to contact us."

"Yeah, how she gonna do that?" He asked, getting nothing but an uncertain glance from him. Dean turned back to face him, "Why do you trust her so much?"

Sam sighed, tired of repeating himself, "I told you."

He threw the ice pack down on the worktop beside the sink, "You gotta do better than that." He said walking toward him and holding out a hand to stop any hostility. "And I'm not trying to pick a fight here. I mean, I really want to understand. But I need to know more. I mean, I deserve to know more."

Sam hesitated for a second, but resigned himself to tell Dean the truth of what happened over the summer to make Ruby trustworthy, "Because... she saved my life."

Dean listened as he described how Ruby had found him at his motel one night six months earlier, having been given one more chance to prove herself worthy to Lilith by finding him and killing, but had killed her demon escort instead. He delved into how he'd been broken, neither wanting nor asking to be saved, because he was alone and how he had insisted Ruby let the secretary she used for a meat suit go. That she'd come to him later – in an abandoned house – wearing a Jane Doe who had been officially declared dead when she'd jumped into her and had convinced him she would help him get Lilith and that he hadn't fought her when she'd talked about using his psychic power. He told of the promise she'd made to teach him everything she knew and that all she'd asked for in return was patience and sobriety.

"So? What'd she teach you?" He asked now sitting under the window in the room with a glass of whiskey in his hand.

"Well, the first thing I learned..." He scoffed. "I'm a crappy student."

_At The Abandoned House – Six Months Ago_

Sam was stood in front of a Devil's Trap with a demon tied to a chair in the centre ready to start putting into practise what Ruby had been teaching him. They exchanged a look as she stood not far away to the left of the trap and he took a deep breath in preparation. Sam held out his hand in the demon's direction and started an exorcism with his mind. But – although he managed to extract some black smoke from its mouth – he wasn't successful and that made the demon smile. Sam immediately repeated the process, concentrating harder, but the same thing happened. Still, he stuck with it. Except when his nose started to bleed and pain pierced his skull, he was forced to stop. Seeing the display, the demon started to laugh, encouraging Ruby to step into the trap and force her knife through the man's throat. He flashed as the demon inside the body died.

"Not funny." She said pulling the blade back out.

= X =

Sam crossed the room that had once been the lounge to the table in what had been the dining room, the Devil's Trap on the floor now had a section scraped out of it so Ruby could move through it freely and she followed him. Sam threw down the shovel he'd used to bury the body the demon had occupied and took a bottle of aspirin from his duffel bag.

"Just give it time Sam, it'll get better." She said causing him to whip around sceptically and laugh at her.

"What? I need more practise?" He asked throwing the aspirin into his mouth and swallowing them down with a gulp from a liquor bottle.

"I'm not talking about pulling demons." She said as he perched on the edge of the dining table wincing with the burn the whiskey created. "I know losing Dean is the-"

"Hey! I don't want to talk about it." He snapped shutting her up. "You know what? Where do you get off slapping me with that greeting card 'time heals' crap? What the hell do you know?"

She stood before him with her arms crossed, "I used to be human." She said taking a step in his direction as her eyes welled up with tears. "And I still remember what it feels like to lose someone." Sam stared at her, trying to remain cold, but his armour seemed to visibly crack beneath her gaze. She reached out a hand to the side of his face, "I'm sorry."

He shoved her hand away, "Uh, uh-uh. Don't!" He said barely holding it together. "I can't."

"Sam, you're not alone." She said closing the space between them and laying her lips upon his.

Sam immediately pushed her away, "Uh, uh-uh. What are you doing?" He asked disgusted as he got up to walk past her and moved to sit down on the couch in the adjoining room.

"Sam it's OK."

He wiped his lips of the taste of hers, "No, that is anything but OK!"

"What's wrong?"

He was outraged, "What's wrong? Where do I start?" He exclaimed as she made her way over.

"Is it because of the body?" She asked removing her jacket, kneeling between his legs in front of him and placing her hands on his knees. He couldn't bring himself to look her in the eye as she continued to talk, "Because I told you, it's all me inside of here." She reminded him as she took his hand and forced it beneath her shirt, encouraging him to feel her body. "There's no one else in here, and it's nice inside this body, Sam." He lifted his head and took a deep breath as he leaned his forehead against hers and opened his eyes to look at her. "Soft... and warm." She continued pushing his hand to connect with her skin.

"What are you doing?" He asked almost painfully.

"Isn't it 'cause you're really scared to go there with a demon?" She pushed. "Because it's wrong and it's bad and we shouldn't?"

Sam's willpower seemed to break without much more probing, and he used both hands to grab her face, pulling her into a kiss. Almost immediately he lifted her up onto his lap so she was straddling him, and they kissed as they proceeded to undress each other, hard and angrily.

_Back At The Motel – Present Day_

Having listened to the detailed picture Sam had drawn of the extent of his involvement with Ruby, Dean stared at him in astonishment, "Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Too much information."

"Hey, I told you I was coming clean." He stated.

"Yeah, but now I feel dirty." He said, his expression showing evidence of his discomfort as he scratched at his forehead with his thumb. "OK, well, brain-stabbing imagery aside, all you've told me about is a manipulative bitch who uh- screwed you, played mind games with you and did everything in the book to get you to go bad."

"Yeah, well, there's more to the story."

"Just... skip the nudity, please." He encouraged.

"Pretty soon after... that, um... I put together some signs. Omens."

"Saying what?"

"Lilith was in town." He said causing his brothers eyes to widen, and Sam nodded. "And I wanted to strike her first."

_At The Abandoned House – Five Months Ago_

Sam shoved his arm inside his jacket and placed it around his shoulders as he walked toward Ruby, who was stood at the table.

"You're not ready yet." She insisted having heard his plan to go after Lilith.

"It's now or never." He said not heeding to her warning as he zipped up his coat.

"No. We gotta wait until you get it right. You haven't been too successful."

"Alright, I'll use this." He said pulling her knife out of his bag.

But she grabbed his hand, stopping him. "Stop! You can't just fly in there reckless, Sam. We need you to take the bitch out."

"Oh, I'll take her out alright."

"You get one shot." She said releasing his hand. "And you're it. You're the only one that can do it Sam. So if she kills you first..." She trailed off seeing something in Sam's expression.

He frowned, "What?"

"You don't want to survive this."

"Come on-"

"It's a kamikaze attack. You want to die fighting Lilith."

"That's stupid." He said walking toward the front door with her hot on his heels.

"No, it's the truth. Because if you kill her and you survive this, then you have to go on without your brother." She said pinning herself against the door to block his exit. "This isn't what Dean would have wanted; this isn't what he died for."

"Get out of my way." He growled.

"No, Sam, this is suicide." She said trying to push him backward. But he was too quick and slammed her into the wall beside the door threatening her with her own knife against her throat. He glared at her with his jaw clenched, letting her know that she wasn't going to stop him in his mission to go after Lilith, and reached for the knob on the door. Opening it, he walked out, leaving Ruby stood frozen to the spot.

= X =

Sam walked up to the house where he was sure he'd find Lilith to see a little girl sitting at the dining table through the front window, and he headed inside with Ruby's knife drawn. He opened a nearby closet door only to find coats hanging inside, so continued toward the little girl. As he gained on her she turned in his direction looking petrified.

"Please, I wanna go home." She pleaded.

Blindsided, Sam was attacked from behind. His attacker knocked the knife from his hand and slammed him against the door frame as another pinned his chest.

"Lilith sends regrets. She couldn't make it." He said choking him.

Suddenly Ruby appeared. Picking up the knife from the floor where it had landed, she slashed the throat of the first demon to attack Sam and pulled the other off him, shoving him across the room. Advancing after the demon with the knife, she turned back to Sam, "Take the girl and run!" She ordered and he reacted quickly, scooping the girl up into his arms and running out the back.

Ruby threw a few punches at the demon, and he quickly came back with a few of his own. Grabbing her wrist, he bent it backward making her drop the knife and pinned her against the wall, her feet lifted from the ground.

"Ruby, you're in so much trouble." The demon stated. "When we get you down in the basement, the things we're gonna do to you."

But the demon started to choke, black smoke bellowing from his mouth. Unbeknownst to either of them, Sam had returned to the room and was pulling him from his host. This time his efforts were successful, causing the body to drop to the ground, leaving in its wake a nosebleed and a pounding headache.

Ruby looked at him, concerned, "Sam-"  
"I'm OK. Thanks." He replied.

_Back At The Motel – Present Day_

"Ruby came back for me." Sam said finishing his story. "Whatever you have to say, she saved me. More than that, she got through to me. What she said to me, it's what you would've said." He said causing his brother to look up at him, "If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be here."


	20. Chapter 20

**NINTEEN**

It wasn't long before Ruby took the initiative to possess a maid in order to let the boys know Anna's location. She'd taken her to a rustic country cabin, safe from the demons that wanted to seek her out, and the Winchesters immediately made their way to the address they'd been given. "Glad you could make it." Ruby said as they walked in to find her guarding Anna, who was sat on the couch.

"Yeah, thanks." Sam responded before making his way toward the girl. "Anna, are you OK?"

"Yeah, I think so." She replied. "Ruby's not like other demons, she saved my life."

Sam nodded at her and Dean took it as a cue to say something about what she'd done for his brother in his absence. "Yeah, I hear she does that." He said looking toward her and she looked back, somewhat bemused by his comment. "I guess I, uh..." The words he intended to say stuck in his throat and he paused to clear it as she crossed her arms over her chest. "You know?"

She was perplexed, "What?"

"I guess I owe you for... Sam." He managed, causing her to raise her eyebrow his way. "And I just wanted... you know?"

Suddenly she realised he was attempting to thank her, "Don't strain yourself."

"OK then. Is the moment over?" He asked getting an eye roll in response. "Good, cause that was awkward."

"Hey, Sam, d'you think it'd be safe to make a quick call? Just to tell my parents I'm OK? They must be completely freaked." Anna asked causing the rest of the room to exchange glances – none of them wanting to be the bearer of bad news – something she seemed to pick up on.

Sam took the initiative, "Uh..."

"What?"

He sighed deeply and moved to sit down beside her on the couch, "Anna, um... your parents."

"What about them?"

"Look, I'm sorry."

She immediately picked up what he was struggling to tell her, "No, they're not-?"

"Anna, I'm sorry."

She started to cry as she rocked back and forth in her seat with her head in her hands, gaining the sympathy of the beings surrounding her. "Why is this happening to me?"

"I don't know." Sam replied resting his hand on her back in a form of comfort as she continued to sob.

Suddenly she stopped, looking up with fear etched on her features, "They're coming." She said breathing hard.

The lights flickered, causing them all to look around, but Dean was the first to move. He pointed to a room off the one they were in and motioned for his brother to move Anna inside.

"Back room!" He said grabbing a gun for each of them out of Sam's duffel bag as he locked Anna in the room he'd pointed out.

Ruby searched the same bag as Dean handed Sam a shotgun and they both turned their attentions to each of the exits. She looked up at them, "Where's the knife?"

They exchanged a look, "Uh, about that-" Dean started.

"You're kidding!"

"Hey, don't look at me." He said eyeing his brother, laying the blame on him.

"Thanks a lot." Sam sarcastically responded only to receive a look of feigned innocence back.

"Great. Just peachy. Impeccable timing guys, really." Ruby made her unhappiness known.

Noise began to filter through the air and the door that Sam was aimed at started to rattle. Dean moved to join his brother, aiming his own gun in the same direction as Ruby moved to stand beside him. The door flew open causing the lock to break and an almighty gust of wind blew through the place before a subtle flapping could be heard. Suddenly Castiel and Uriel entered through the door. Ruby was terrified, her eyes seemed to unwillingly turn black causing Uriel to stare at her.

"Please tell me you're here to help. We've been having demon issues all day." Dean said somewhat relieved that they'd shown up.

"I can see that." Uriel said as Ruby's eyes regained normality. "You want to explain why you have that stain in the room?"

Dean looked at her and then at Sam, trying to think of some way to give them an explanation, when Castiel spoke.

"We're here for Anna." He announced.

Dean immediately frowned, "Here for her like 'here for her'?"

"Stop talking." Uriel demanded. "Give her to us."

Sam was suspicious of their intentions, "Are you gonna help her?"

It was Castiel's turn to speak, "No. She has to die."

"You want Anna? Why?"

"Out of the way." Uriel ordered them.

"Woah, woah, woah. I know she's wiretapping your angel chats or whatever. But it's no reason to gank her." Dean pleaded.

"Don't worry. I'll kill her gentle."

"You're some heartless sons of bitches, you know that?"

"As a matter of fact, we are. And?" Castiel asked.

Sam was outraged, "And, Anna's an innocent girl."

But the angel shook his head, "She is far from innocent."

The brothers threw a look at each other before Sam spoke again, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means she's worse than this abomination you've been screwing." Uriel said glancing to Ruby, making it clear they knew the extent of their involvement. "Now, give us the girl."

The Winchesters paused, long enough to exchange a look before Dean looked back at the angels, "Sorry. Get yourself another one. Try JDate."

"Who's going to stop us? You two? Or this demon whore?" He asked grabbing a hold of her arm and throwing her into a window, smashing it, before he picked her up off the floor and pinning her against the wall to extract the demon from its host.

Sam stared at Castiel as he made a move toward him and Dean attacked Uriel to stop him. The angel turned on him and knocked his weapon from his hand. Dean threw a punch at his chest, but he caught it in his hand and squeezed causing Dean to squirm until he was free. That's when Uriel punched him.

"Cas, stop. Please." Sam pleaded as the angel got closer.

But his plea fell on deaf ears. As he got close enough, Castiel raised two fingers to Sam's forehead and he dropped to the floor unconscious.

"I've been waiting for this." Uriel tormented as he repeatedly punched Dean's face.

As Castiel reached for the door-handle to the room where Anna was hiding, a white light flashed in the room a couple of times before the angels vanished into the air with pain etched on their faces.

Dean took a second to recover from the attack, spitting blood out of his mouth onto the floor and looked up from his position on his hands and knees, "What the-?" He got up to his feet with a pained cry and moved to help Ruby to her feet, "Come on."

He helped her over to Sam, who – now conscious – rolled onto his back with a groan, and went to check on Anna. When he got inside the room, he found her supporting herself on a dresser just inside and her hands covered in blood.

"Anna? Anna." He rushed to her side in time to help her lower to the chair behind her.

"Are they gone?" She asked breathlessly.

Dean looked up at the mirror – as he tried to stop the bleeding – and saw a symbol drawn upon it in her blood. "Did you kill them?"

"No." She replied as he wrapped a cloth around her wounds. "I sent them away."

That's when Ruby and Sam walked into the room to find the scene.

"Far away." Anna confirmed.

Dean's eyes went back to the mirror, "You want to tell me how?"

Her eyes were drawn to the same thing and she looked scared, "That just popped in my head. I don't know how I did it. I just did it."

= X =

Leaving Anna inside the bedroom with Ruby, the brothers stepped outside into the lounge and Sam closed the door.

"What do you think?" Dean asked.

"I think Anna's getting more interesting by the second." He replied walking around his brother.

Dean spun to face him, "Yeah, I agree. And what did they mean by she's not innocent?"

"It seems like they want her bad, and not just because of the angel radio thing. I mean, that blood spell? It's some serious crap, man."

"Something's going on with her." He paused. "See what you can find out."

"What are you gonna do?"

"Anna may have sent the angels to the outfield but sooner or later they're gonna be back. We gotta get ourselves safe, now." He said heading back to the girls.

_Christina's Apartment_

With her eyes closed, Christina reached out and searched her bedside table for the cell phone intruding her sleep. She flicked it open, and put it to her ear. "Hello?" She whispered down the line.

"Hey Princess." Her father's voice came through the speaker. "Sam and Dean are dropping into the Yard, there's some girl that the demons are after that they're protecting."

"And you interrupted my sleep to tell me this, why?"

"I just didn't want you to get all G.I. Jane when you go over there today."

"All right. Thanks." She said before hanging up and turning over to go back to sleep. But as she got comfortable and began to doze off, DJ started to grumble. She threw herself onto her back with a growl, "All right. I'm up."

_Singer's Salvage Yard_

The only place that sprang to mind in order to provide protection for Anna was Bobby's place, except when they'd arrived he was nowhere to be seen. So Dean had called to get his permission to use his property in his absence.

He instantly took the girl to the panic room in the basement. "Iron walls drenched in salt." He informed Anna. "Demons can't even touch the joint."

"Which I find racist, by the way." Ruby said from outside, stood the other side of the devils trap by the entrance.

"Write to your congressman."

"Here." She said tossing two small pouches at him.

Dean eyed one, "Hex bags?"

"Extra-crunchy. Hide us from demons, angels, all comers."

"Thanks Ruby." He said causing her to look back surprised. He turned to pass Anna one of them as she sat on the armchair beneath the Bo Derek poster. "Don't lose this." He said walking over to the desk. "So, Anna, what's going on angel radio? Anything useful?"

"It's quiet." She replied before making eye contact with him. "Dead silence."

"Good. That's not troubling at all."

"We're in trouble, huh? You guys are scared?"

Dean looked at Ruby, who returned the concern he felt, before he turned back to address Anna. "Nah."

"Hey, Dean." Sam called out from the house above, announcing his arrival.

He made a move to leave, "Just stay here, OK?" He told Anna before stopping beside Ruby outside the door. "Keep an eye on her."

= X =

"How's the car?" Dean asked after his prized possession as they made their way through the kitchen.

"I got her, she's fine." He replied. "Where's Bobby?"

"Uh, the Dominican. He said we break anything, we buy it."

"Is he working a job?"

"God I hope so. Otherwise he's at Hedonism in a banana hammock and a trucker cap."

Sam grimaced as they made their way into the study, "Now that's seared in my brain."

"What'd you find on Anna?"

"Uh, not much. Her parents were Rich and Amy Milton, a church deacon and a housewife." He answered opening up her file on the desk.

"Riveting."

"Yeah, but there is something here in the report. It turns out this latest psych episode wasn't her first."

"No?"

"When she was two and a half, she'd get hysterical anytime her dad got close. She was convinced that he wasn't her real daddy."

"Who was? The plumber? Little snaking the pipes?"

"Dude, you're confusing reality with porn again." Sam said. "Look, Anna didn't say. She just kept repeating that this real father of hers was mad. Very mad. Like wanted-to-kill-her mad."

"Kind of heavy for a two year old."

"Well, she saw a kid's shrink, got better and grew up normal."

"Until now. So, what's she hiding?"

"Why don't you just ask me to my face?" Anna asked outraged from the archway leading to the hall.

"Nice job watching her." Dean threw sarcastically at Ruby, who stood by her side.

Ruby threw out her arm in the girl's direction, "I'm watching her."

"No, you're right, Anna." Sam agreed. "Is there anything you want to tell us?"

"About what?" She asked in reply.

"The angels said you were guilty of something. Why would they say that?"

"You tell me. Tell me why my life has been levelled... why my parents are dead. I don't know. I swear, I would give anything to know."

"OK. Then let's find out." Sam said, knowing exactly who they needed to turn to.

= X =

The brothers decided to call on the help of Pamela, who was more than happy to help if it meant getting back at the angels who had taken her sight. She used hypnosis to put Anna into a trance so she was able to delve into her subconscious and remember the past she'd forgotten. But it didn't run smoothly. She lost control when she was asked about her real father, convulsing on the cot in the panic room and screaming that he was going to kill her. She involuntarily slammed the door to a close and blew out all the bulbs in the room, which filled everyone but Pamela with fear. She managed to remain calm and tried to instil the same in Anna, but she continued to scream.

Dean approached her, against Pamela's warning and he was promptly thrown across the room landing on the wooden chair, which smashed to pieces beneath his weight. The psychic woman instantly brought Anna back with a count from one to five and with her consciousness, her knowledge of who she was, had returned.

She told them that she was an angel in charge of Castiel and Uriel, until she disobeyed. She had ripped out her grace, which she described as energy, making the decision to fall – becoming human – and over time had forgot her original origin.

The angels wanted her dead and the demons just wanted her because – although she was an angel – she was flesh and blood, so they could torture her. Except Anna had a plan of her own, to get her grace back.

It was Sam that figured out that when she was falling that the human eye would interpret it as a comet or a meteor. After some research he discovered that in March 1985 that a meteorite vanished over North-western Ohio – her place of birth – nine months before she was born and at the same time another one landed in Kentucky, which he concluded to be her grace.

= X =

Christina walked among the cars pushing DJ's stroller and she was elated at the sight of the Impala parked up outside her Dad's house. It had been a week since they'd had any contact and she didn't mind admitting she was looking forward to seeing him.

She didn't bother using her key to the back door, knowing it would be unlocked. Instead she walked in and she called out, only to be met with five sets of eyes on her as she made her way to the lounge come library.

She immediately felt uncomfortable under their glare, "Hey, I just came to..."

But she stopped talking when her eyes landed on Dean, whose face lit up upon seeing his son, "Hey little guy." He said making his way over to free him from his stroller.

"Sorry, I thought you'd be gone by now." She said, holding back on the truth.

Sam forced a smile at her, "Hey CJ."

She seemed to relax a little and a smile of her own appeared, "Hey Sam."

"That you Christina?" Pamela asked from her position.

She rushed to embrace her in a hug, "Pamela. It's been a while. How are you?"

"Ah you know, making the best of the hand I've been dealt."

Sam got to his feet, "This is Anna, and Ruby." He introduced the other two women.

She looked at Anna, "Hi." She said before shifting her eyes to the demon, "That's you Ruby?" She asked keeping up the facade that they hadn't met when in reality she'd seen her twice before; at Sam's hotel the day Dean had returned and again when she'd been minus her memories.

"In the flesh."

"And whose body is that you're riding?"

"I recycled."

"Yeah well, I wish I could say I'd missed you, but I'd be lying."

"Ditto sweetheart." She responded sarcastically.

Christina turned her attention back to Dean as she addressed everyone in the room, "So what's going on?"

Dean sighed as he held his son, "It's a long story."

She nodded her acknowledgement, "Then I guess I'll get out of your way. I just wanted to come by and check you'd locked up but you're still here so..."

"Don't worry; we'll lock up when we leave." Sam assured her.

= _That Night _=

Anna was propped against a wreck in Bobby's yard looking up at the stars when she heard the roar of Dean's car behind her. She looked over her shoulder in its direction momentarily, but went back to her original position as the engine died and Dean climbed out before making his way toward her.

"Pamela get home, OK?" She asked again looking over her shoulder before returning her gaze to the sky.

"Yeah, she said she was sorry. It's just that after last time, she uh... this is just a little too rich for her blood." He replied.

Her eyes dropped to the ground, "I don't blame her. You guys should do the same."

"Well, we're not that smart." He said before silence fell between them. "Can I ask you something?" He asked walking around to her right side and resting against the car. "What do they want me for? Why did they save me?"

She raised her eyes to his, "I'm sorry. The angels aren't talking about it. And it was after I fell."

Dean nodded his accordance, but something else was bothering him. "That's another question; why would you fall? Why would you wanna be one of us?"

She broke her gaze from his and looked forward, "You don't mean that."

"I don't? A bunch of miserable bastards, I mean, eating, crapping, confused, afraid."

"I don't know. There's loyalty. Forgiveness. Love." She replied to his negativity.

"Pain." He countered.

"Chocolate cake."

"Guilt."

"Sex."

Dean hesitated, "Yeah, you got me there."

She smiled momentarily, "I mean it, every emotion Dean, even the bad ones – it's why I fell. It's why I'd give anything not to have to go back. Anything."

He inhaled deeply through his nose, "Feelings are overrated if you ask me."

"Beats being an angel."

His face scrunched up at her comment, "How's that possible? You guys are powerful and perfect. You don't doubt yourselves, or God, or anything."

"Perfect. Like a marble statue." She said staring sternly his way. "Cold. No choice. Only obedience. Dean, do you know how many angels have actually seen God? Seen his face?"

"All of you?" He guessed.

"Four angels. Four. And I'm not one of them."

He frowned, "That's it? Well then, how do you even know that there is a God?"

"We have to take it on faith, which we're killed if we don't have."

"Huh."

"I was stationed on Earth 2000 years, just watching. Silent. Invisible. Out on the road. Sick for home. Waiting on orders from an unknowable father I can't begin to understand. So don't tell me that-" She stopped when Dean unexpectedly chuckled softly, "What is so funny? What?"

He gently shook his head, "Nothing, sorry. It's just... I can relate."

They shared a 'common ground' look before Sam's voice called into the darkness from behind where they were stood, causing them both to turn toward him.

"Did you find something?" Dean asked.

"I think so." He replied with a slight nod.

= X =

After some digging Sam found that in 1985 there were tales of a miracle reported in Union, Kentucky. There was an empty field outside of town and six months later a full grown century old oak tree stood inside. Anna affirmed that her grace could've have done something like that where it hit because it was pure creation. So – with Ruby – they decided to take a road trip.

As Dean drove the Impala toward their destination he glanced in the back seat and chuckled.

"What?" Ruby snapped, from her position in the seat behind Dean.

"Nothing. It's just an angel and a demon riding in the backseat, it's like the set up to a bad joke." He said causing Sam to see his humour. "Or a Penthouse forum letter."

Sam turned his head in his direction, "Dude, reality, porn."

"You call this reality?" He countered.

= X =

It was morning by the time they reached the tree outside Union, Kentucky. They all climbed out of the car and took in the sight of it, but Dean was the first to comment on the halo-like light cascading through the branches.

"It's beautiful."

"It's where the grace touched down. I can feel it." Anna confirmed looking up at the oak.

Dean threw a quick glance at his brother, before moving his eyes in her direction, "You ready to do this?"

"Not really." She said barely taking a second before she moved toward it, causing the others to follow her.

"Anna, what are we even looking for?" Sam asked as they approached the trunk.

She didn't answer as she reached out and touched the bark, "It doesn't matter. It's not here. Not anymore. Someone took it."

= X =

They decided to hall up in some abandoned barn thinking through their next move, but Dean thought there was only one option, "We still got the hex bags. I say we head back to the panic room." He suggested.

But Ruby didn't agree, "What, forever?"

"I'm just thinking out loud." He snapped approaching her.

"Oh, you call that thinking?" She countered.

But Sam walked in and broke up their fight, "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Stop it."

"Anna's grace is gone, you understand? She can't angel up, she can't protect us. We can't fight Heaven and Hell. One side, maybe, but not both. Not at once." She ranted.

"Uh guys, the angels are talking again." Anna interrupted her.

"What are they saying?" Sam asked.

"It's weird; like a recording – a loop. It says: Dean Winchester gives us Anna by midnight, or..." She stopped abruptly.

"Or what?" Dean asked.

Anna looked at him, "Or we hurl him back to damnation."

The revelation didn't sit well with Dean. He instantly felt the fear of being sent back to Hell that it stunned him into silence. But he didn't want to go back. He couldn't survive going back.

"Anna, do you know of any weapon that works on an angel?" Sam asked.

"To what? To kill them?" She countered to which he silently tilted his head to confirm what he was thinking. "Nothing we could get to. Not right now."

Suddenly Dean interrupted, "OK, wait. I say we call Bobby, we get him back from Hedonism..."

But Sam cut off his train of thought, "Dean, what's he gonna tell us that we don't already know?"

"I don't know, but we gotta think of something." He shouted back.

= X =

Dean looked over his shoulder as he stepped out beneath the blanket of darkness now cast over Kentucky and took his phone from his pocket. He hit her speed dial number and put it up to his ear, waiting for her to answer.

"Hey." Her voice filtered through the speaker.

"Hey. We need your help."

"Why? What's going on?"

"We've got a situation with Anna. The angels want to kill her and the demons want to torture her for information."

"What can I do?"

"Get to Union, Kentucky as soon as you can. I've got a feeling we'll need all the hunting experience we can get."

"I'll get one of the mothers from baby group to have DJ and I'll be in my car in ten minutes."

"Thanks CJ." He said hanging up. He sighed a breath of relief, having Christina's help was the next best thing to having Bobby's.

= X =

Christina kept to her word; she'd dropped DJ off with her neighbour – a mother she knew from the baby group she went to every Wednesday afternoon – and was in her car on her way to him in no time. She felt slightly euphoric that he wanted her there in the fight against good and evil despite knowing her vision had been of her and Sam – so maybe there was hope for them yet. She hadn't told him – or anyone – that she remembered everything from her time with amnesia but she relived his admission of feelings every chance she got. It was a tiny ray of hope that she would eventually get everything she'd dreamed of since May 1995, when they'd first made love. Of course those dreams got harder to believe in as the years passed, but had been reinforced when she'd conceived their son, only to die again when he was dragged to Hell. Now it seemed they were back again spurring her to his side when he needed her.

= X =

Dean leaned on the trunk of his car looking at a map by torchlight when he heard Anna approach and looked in her direction, "Hey. Holding up OK?" He asked.

She reached him – her arms crossed over her chest – and inhaled, "Trying." She answered looking down at what he was studying.

His eyes moved back to the map, "Yeah."

"Little scared, I guess." He acknowledged her comment with a small nod but didn't speak. "So, Dean." She started breaking the silence causing him to stand upright and face her, "I just wanted to thank you."

His brow furrowed slightly, "For what?"

"Everything. You guys didn't have to help me-"

But he stopped her before she said anything more. "Hey, let's can the 'thanks for trying' speech, you know? Participation trophies suck ass."

"I don't know. Maybe I don't deserve to be saved." She said breaking her eyes from his and looking down at the ground.

"Don't talk like that."

She forced her eyes back up to his, "I disobeyed. Lucifer disobeyed. It's our murder one and I knew it. Maybe I gotta pay."

"Yeah well, we've all done things we gotta pay for." He said, his mind immediately reminding him of his time in Hell.

Anna stepped toward him before turning to sit on the trunk of the Impala, "I gotta tell you something. You're not gonna like it."

Dean's eyes moved around to check out their surroundings before going back to her, "OK, what?"

"About a week ago, I heard the angels talking... about you, what you did in Hell? Dean, I know." She said making him instantly uncomfortable. She shifted, leaning in to him and placed her hand on the left side of his face much to his surprise. "It wasn't your fault. You should forgive yourself."

He was stunned, but broke eye contact with her immediately. "Anna, I don't wanna... uh, I don't wanna..." He shook his head and looked back at her as she removed her hand, "I can't talk about that."

"I know. But when you can you have people that wanna help. You're not alone. That's all I'm trying to say." She told him compassionately before moving even closer and applying her lips to his.

"What was that for?" He asked as she slowly pulled away.

"You know, our last night on Earth. All that."

Dean glanced away, "You're stealing my best line." He said leaning in to kiss her.

They moved to the back seat of the Impala, Christina the last thing on Dean's mind as he kissed Anna and gently lowered on top of her.

= X =

As Sam slept Ruby snuck out to a road a safe distance away and set fire to the hex bag in her possession, enabling the demons to find her. She waited, turning on the spot slowly and it wasn't long before Alastair showed up.

"Hello, Ruby." He announced his arrival from behind her causing her to spin and face him.

"Alastair."

"I have to say I'm surprised to find you out in the open like this."

"Yeah? Desperate times." She said, playing along that they hadn't had any contact and she was playing for the other side.

He nodded, "That they are." He took out her knife from behind his back, drawing her attention to it. "You looking for this? Your gawky human friend gave it to me."

"Keep it. I just came to talk."

"About what? About how a demon is protecting an angel?" He asked putting both hands back behind his back. "We really must revoke your membership."

"Look, I know I'm not employee of the month. But this? I never wanted to get in the middle of this."

"Why are you here Ruby?" He asked tired of her monologue.

"I'll give you the angel."

"Will you? And in return?"

"I walk away. Me and the Winchester boys, both of them. This angel business, it's none of our business."

"Hmmm. You know..." He started walking toward her. "I'd always heard that you were a devious, cowardly little slut." He said leaning toward her as he passed her by, causing her to follow him with her eyes. "You don't disappoint."

She slowly turned toward him, "So, what do you say?"

"It's interesting. Prudent." He said facing away from her. He turned to face her as two more demons grabbed her from either side, "But..." He held up the knife and stepped closer to her, "...let me make you a counteroffer." He said running the tip of the knife down her cheek.

= X =

Christina pulled up at the side of the road to call Dean to find out his exact location, but he didn't answer. So instead, she dialled Sam's number.

"Hey Sam, I tried calling Dean but he's not answering..." She opened.

"What's up?" He asked.

"Where are you?"

His brow furrowed, "In Kentucky."

Her eye roll went unseen, "I know that. Where _exactly _in Kentucky?"

"Why?"

"Dean called me; he said you needed some extra help."

"He called you?"

"Alright, stop answering a question with a question and tell me where you are."

"We're in an abandoned warehouse."

"Where?"

"Why did he call you?"

"Sam! Location!"

"We're just outside Union."

"Great. I'll see you in ten minutes." She said hanging up.

"Wait..." But his request fell on deaf ears causing him to slam his phone shut. "Or just… hang up."

= X =

Dean walked inside the barn where they were hiding Anna to find Uriel waiting for him.

"Look at that, so cute that monkey's wear clothes." He said with his hands stuffed into his trouser pockets.

Dean froze twenty feet from him and looked around at his surroundings, "I'm dreaming, aren't I?" He realised.

"It's the only way we would chat, since you're hiding like cowards."

"Don't normally see you off leash. Where's your boss?"

"Castiel?" He asked looking upward. "Oh, he's…" He moved his eyes back to Dean. "He's not here. You see, he has this weakness. He likes you." He paused. "Time's up boy. We want the girl."

"Wouldn't try that if I were you." He warned. "See, she got her grace back. Full-blown angel now." He bluffed.

Uriel looked at the ground wearing a rye smile and removed his hands from inside his pockets before reaching inside his buttoned up shirt. "That would be a neat trick, considering…" He started pulling out the chain and revealing a glowing glass pendant. "…I have her grace right here. We can't let Hell get their hooks into her."

"Well then, why don't you just give her back her angel juice?"

"She committed a serious crime." He said tucking the chain back into hiding.

"What? Thinking for herself?"

"This is our business, not yours. She's not even human, not technically."

"Well I guess I just like being a pain in the pooper."

"No. There's more." Uriel said moving closer to him and chuckling as he walked around him. "You cut yourself a slice of angel-food cake. Didn't you?" But Dean didn't answer; instead he remained still and silent, only throwing a glance his way. "You did."

Dean stared hard at him, "Why do you care? You're junk-less down there right, like a Ken doll?"

The angel laughed and threw his hands up as he walked away, back to his original position. "Well, it's your last chance. Give us the girl or…"

"Or what? What, you're gonna toss me back in the hole? You're bluffing."

"Try me. It's a whole lot bigger than the plans we have for you, Dean. You can be replaced."

Dean took a minute and licked his lips in consideration, "What the hell…" He said throwing his arms out. "Go ahead and do it."

Uriel walked up to him again causing the Winchester man to drop his hands back down to his sides, "You're just crazy enough to go, aren't you?"

"What can I say? I don't break easy."

The angel circled him again, "Oh yes. You do. You just gotta know where to apply the right pressure."

= X =

Ruby – bound to a surgical dentistry chair by her wrists and ankles – screamed into the leather strap covering her mouth as Alastair cut and carved into her body with her own knife, talking as he worked.

No demons knew the plan that had been set in motion so he had to make a show of torturing her so it looked convincing and he was nothing if not professional.

He stopped cutting into her and moved his face closer to hers, "Now, I'm going to remove this…" He said referring to her muzzle. "…but don't go smoking out of that meat. You won't get very far." He said removing the leather band covering her mouth causing her to take a few deep breaths. "Now you tell me where that angel is."

But she gritted her teeth, "No."

"No?" He repeated.

"No. I tell you, you kill me." She said fear evident in her voice. "But I'll show you."

= X =

Christina pulled up beside the Impala outside the barn and turned off the engine before climbing out of the car. As she slammed the vehicle door shut behind her, she turned only to come face to face with Anna.

"Hey." She greeted the new arrival.

"Hey. How're you doing?" She countered.

"Other than having angels _and _demons after me, I'm pretty good."

Christina shifted uncomfortably, "So, you used to be an angel?"

She nodded a response as they both allowed the silence to settle between them, "You should know…" Anna said breaking the peace. "…I knew your mother."

That was enough to peak Christina's interest, "You knew my mother?"

"We used to work together when she was stationed on Earth. We spent almost one thousand, nine hundred and fifty years together before she fell."

"Do you know why she fell?" She asked taking a chance that she had an answer.

"The same reason every angel falls, she lost faith in our father."

"Why?"

"She was down here for almost two thousand five hundred years, without so much as a word from above. She was loyal, all she wanted was a little gratitude, but she wasn't even granted an audience with him. She started to lose her faith in him, leading to her decision to fall."

Her eyes dropped to the floor, "Is she the reason why the angels are protecting my son?"

"No. But your son is so important to the angels that they'll protect him at any cost."

"Do you know why the demons want him so bad?"

"He's more powerful than any angel or demon. He's God's greatest weapon in the war against Hell."

"But he's just a baby."

"He's a blend of the Remington and Winchester bloodlines. He's Heaven's greatest creation, that's why the demons did everything to prevent his birth. But even then, in the womb, they were no match for him."

"So he can stop all this? He can stop Lilith breaking seals and the Apocalypse?"

"With a single thought."

"He's not even a year old; he doesn't have those kind of thoughts."

"Yet. Which is why they're after him now so they can coach him, then when he is able to understand he can make the call." She took her hands in hers. "You have to protect him Christina. Don't let either of them get to him."

= X =

Dean sat on a bail of hay and took a swig from his hip flask. His dream had left him feeling guilty and he was buckling underneath all the pressure.

"I don't know, man. Where's Ruby?" Sam asked pacing.

"Hey, she's your Hell buddy." Dean replied taking another gulp.

"It's a little early for that, isn't it?" Anna asked joining them in the barn with Christina.

"It's 2 a.m. somewhere." He replied, before spotting the mother of his child. "Hey CJ."

"You called, and I'm here." She countered.

But Anna was concerned about Dean, "You OK?" She asked him.

"Yeah, of course." He said throwing a look her way.

Christina witnessed the look Dean cast toward Anna and she felt an instant pain in her chest. She knew that look; it was one he'd given her all those years ago after he'd taken her virginity. She'd put so much energy into hating him that she didn't notice that there wasn't an ounce of hate for him in her. She could feel the old wounds on her heart start to reappear, and just when she thought she was over him. It was a painful reminder that she still loved Dean Winchester.

The tears stung her eyes as she fought to contain them, she couldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing he'd hurt her again. She had to not give a damn, just like he didn't. But she wasn't like him. She needed to get away from him. She needed to breathe. In, out, in, out and repeat.

She cleared her throat, "I need some air." She said calmly despite the raging pain building in her chest.

Dean frowned up at her, "What, now?"

She gritted her teeth, "Yes, now."

Sam frowned, "You OK?"

She nodded, consciously keeping her eyes from connecting with Dean's. If she saw him, she'd lose the battle with her emotions and she couldn't let him know he'd hurt her again. "All the angel and demon stuff is driving me crazy." She lied needing to get out of there.

She could feel the space around her closing in, suffocating her. She could feel the tears getting dangerously close to spilling down her face. Breathe, in, out, in, out. Her chest felt like it was shrinking and her heart was going to explode out of it.

Sam frowned, "OK… but stay close."

She couldn't speak. The lump in her throat had swollen to the size of a golf ball, she needed air – now. She rushed from the barn and ran as fast as her legs would carry her – into the woods – far, far away from Dean Winchester. She couldn't see where she was going, it was too dark, but she had to escape. Her heart beat a tattoo in her chest as the continuous thumping caused the scars to reopen.

Losing her footing, she fell to the ground with a resounding thud, and she didn't bother getting up. She curled herself up into the foetal position and the tears erupted from her eyes. Why was he doing this to her? Why was she being punished for loving him? why wasn't she good enough for him?

= X =

The doors on the barn were suddenly taken with a gust of wind and blew open revealing Castiel and Uriel, who walked inside. Dean got to his feet and joined Anna with Sam facing in their direction. As they entered, the doors closed behind them.

"Hello Anna. It's good to see you." Castiel said.

"How? How did you find us?" Sam asked surprised to see them.

Castiel nodded at Dean and Sam caught the exchange as his brother's eyes dropped to the ground, wearing a guilty expression.

Sam looked across at him, as did Anna, "Dean?" He questioned.

Dean was overcome with emotion as his eyes found hers, "I'm sorry."

"Why?"

Anna looked at the angels and then moved her eyes to Sam, "Because they gave him a choice. They either kill me or kill you." She looked back at them. "I know how their minds work." Silence fell on them as Anna turned her attention to Dean. She raised her hand to his arm and moved in close to lay a kiss on his lips. "You did the best you could." She said letting him know she didn't blame him. "I forgive you." She turned back to the angels and took a few steps toward them. "OK, no more tricks. No more running. I'm ready."

"I'm sorry." Castiel apologised.

But she wasn't buying it. "No, you're not. Not really. You don't know the feeling."

"Still, we have a history. It's just…"

"Orders are orders. I know. Just make it quick."

Suddenly they weren't alone. "Don't you touch a hair on that poor girl's head." Alastair said making his entrance from the back of the barn with Ruby and a few demons in tow causing the three humans to turn at the sound of his voice.

Uriel walked toward the demons causing the living to move out of his path, "How dare you come into this room… you pussing sore." He said as Ruby took cover by a pile of hay bails.

"Name-calling?" Alastair questioned stepping toward him. "That hurt my feelings. You sanctimonious, fanatical prick."

"Turn around and walk away now." Castiel ordered from where he was standing.

"Sure. Just give us the girl. We'll make sure she gets punished good and proper."

"You know who we are and what we will do." He said walking forward to stop at Uriel's side. "I won't say it again. Leave now or we lay you to waste."

But his threat didn't work, "Think I'll take my chances."

There was a brief pause before Uriel lunged at one of the demons and swung him round into a supporting beam. As the other moved to attack him while he was distracted, Uriel turned and punched him.

Castiel concentrated his attention on Alastair, punching him repeatedly in the face but the demon stood steadfast. He moved his hand to his forehead in order to exorcise him, but nothing happened.

"Sorry kiddo." Alastair mocked. "Why don't you go run to Daddy?"

Alastair removed Castiel's hand and gave him an uppercut to the face causing the angel to fly backward and land on his back on the ground. The demon moved to sit on his chest as Uriel extracted one henchman from his host.

Holding Castiel by the throat, Alastair chanted a Latin scripture to separate the angel from his vessel and – as it seemed it was working – Dean hit the demon in the face with a crowbar.

Alastair got to his feet immediately forcing a look of horror from the man as he backed away. "Dean, Dean, Dean. I am so disappointed. You had such promise." He said before using his demonic powers to strangle him.

Distracted by extracting the second demon Uriel was powerless to stop Anna as she snatched the chain containing her grace from his neck and smashed it on the ground at her feet. A bright white light escaped across the floor and made its way back into her body through her mouth as Castiel and Uriel watched on. She dropped to her knees as her grace was reinstated.

"Shut your eyes. Shut your eyes." She commanded as the white light started to take over her body.

Dean and Sam covered their eyes as she shouted her order one last time before the barn was cast in a brilliant white. It beamed out of her eyes and mouth as she screamed in pain and she gave off a pulse before disappearing, taking the angels and demons with her.


	21. Chapter 21

**TWENTY**

She wasn't sure if she'd fallen asleep or if she'd just jumped forward in time, but when she came to, Christina could hear someone calling out to her. It took a second to register that it was Sam. She was almost paralysed with the pain that came flooding back in an instant, but she moved – dazed – regardless. She rolled onto all fours and forced herself upright in time for a blinding light to capture her face. Her hands came up to shield her eyes as she tried to see beyond it and it was lowered to the ground.

"There you are." Sam said relieved, making his way toward her. "We've been looking for you for hours."

She frowned, "Hours?"

"We were worried. You OK?" He asked, as he got closer.

She looked down on herself – as if to check – and nodded. "I think so."

"Why were you gone so long?"

Her mouth opened – about to answer – when he came into view in the distance, and she was forced into silence.

"CJ, where have you been?" Dean asked quickly approaching.

"I needed to be alone." Her response was meek as she avoided eye contact with him and Sam immediately picked up on it.

Dean raised his eyebrows in astonishment, "You picked hell of a time for space."

"I'm hardly in a mood for a lecture Dean, so spare me and save your breath for someone who cares." She snapped making her way through the brothers, heading in the direction they'd come from.

"I called you for help. Help you didn't give us because you took off."

She stopped and spun back to them, "It's over?"

"It all went down when you did your disappearing act."

She took a second to force down the urge she had to shout, "Anna said something about DJ before I walked in that barn so I had to take some time to process it."

He frowned, "What did she say?"

"It's not important."

"It was obviously important enough for you to bail on us back there, so what was it?"

Like a Hellhound possessed, Christina looked up at him with fire in her eyes, "DON'T!" She growled a warning, but he ignored it.

"What the hell crawled up your ass and made you a bitch all of a sudden?"

She frowned and cocked her head to the side, "All of a sudden? I've always been a bitch Dean, and that's not going to change…" She said turning to walk away, shouting over her shoulder at him. "…not now, not ever!" But as she got closer to Ruby – supporting herself on the Impala – she spun back to address Sam, "Where's Anna?"

"She's gone." He answered.

"Gone where?"

"She got her grace back and she evaporated." Dean said for want of a better word as he walked past her.

Sam sighed, "She saved us." He offered more.

As they reached Ruby, Christina looked her up and down, "Geez, you look like shit. What happened? Did Sam get rough?" She joked stopping beside her and turning to lean on the car.

She tossed her a sarcastic smile in return, "I was tortured."

"Who by? I'll have to send them a _thank you _card."

"It was Alastair." Sam was specific.

Christina gulped and turned white with fear, "Alastair?" She asked, barely audible.

"Torture is his speciality." Dean offered more information, unaware that she already had more than she needed.

She raised her eyebrows, "Oh, I know."

Dean frowned, "What do you mean, you know?"

She dropped her head and pulled up her sleeve to make reference to the scars on her left arm, "He's the one who gave me these."

"Alastair did that to you?" He asked doing a double take.

She nodded, "He tried to finish the job but I guess I was up to the fight."

Dean was astonished, "How could you not tell me that Alastair did that to you?"

"I didn't know that you knew who Alastair was so how was I to know to mention it? It was hard enough suppressing what he did to me, without talking about it and having to see his face over and over. So you don't get to punish me for keeping that to myself, especially when you've got no room to point the finger!"

Sam frowned, "What are you talking about?" He asked before moving his attention to his brother, "Dean, what is she talking about?"

Dean stared at Christina hard, before snapping out of it to answer, "Nothing. She isn't talking about anything."

"Oh, that's right – you expect me to talk about what happened to me and relive the pain of it but the minute anyone turns the attention to you, you clam up."

"Christina."

"No Dean, you don't get to Christina your way out of this one and expect me to shut up. I've kept this to myself for long enough. You need to talk about it."

"Actually, that's where you're wrong. I know what happened; I don't need to relive it by talking about it."

"And yet you expect me to? You're a hypocrite Dean Winchester."

"Fine. I'm a hypocrite. I'm still not talking about it." He said walking around the Impala and opening the drivers' door.

Christina shook her head, "Unbelievable."

She relived the torment of what Alastair had put her through everyday since she'd lived it but talking about it was harder. It was like admitting her weakness, and she'd never been comfortable with that. She was infuriated at Dean's refusal to admit he was hurt, especially because she'd taken that step herself – against her better judgement.

"Get in Sam." The oldest Winchester ordered his brother as he climbed in behind the wheel.

Sam looked across at Ruby, "You going to be OK?"

She nodded a reply, "Sure, go."

"I'll get her to where she needs to go." Christina assured him, much to Ruby's shock.

Sam nodded as he approached his nephew's mother and laid a kiss on her cheek, "I'll see you back at home." He said, meaning her home.

= X =

"Are you going to tell me what you and Christina were talking about back there?" Sam asked as his brother drove toward South Dakota.

Dean glanced into his rear view mirror at her car following behind them, "No."

Sam sighed at his brother's stubbornness, "I think she knows what happened between you and Anna?" He informed him of his suspicions.

He frowned, "How do you know about that?"

"Come on Dean, I know you – and Christina knows you. So I'm telling you, she knows and that would explain her being distant and snappy."

But Dean screwed up his face, "No, she doesn't know."

"I'm telling you, that's why she took off before the showdown."

"If she knew, she wouldn't be able to stop herself from saying something. She'd have already laid into me."

"And what did you call that back there?"

"That was probably PMS."

"You know, I don't get it, because even after everything you've put her through, she still loves you but you just keep treating her like crap. You'd have thought she'd have given up by now and moved on, but she's still waiting for you. Just how long is it going to take for you to get that?"

"I get it Sam, I do. But I'm damaged. She's better off without me."

"You think she's not damaged? Do you think she got through her parents being killed without carrying a piece of it around with her everyday?"

Dean went silent as he pulled off the road and turned off the engine.

= X =

The car was quiet as Christina drove past Dean's car and continued toward her apartment. She hadn't been alone with Ruby since she'd gotten her memories back and she'd been waiting for the opportunity. She hadn't recognised her at the time, but she remembered being approached by her at the bar. Although her memory of it was sketchy at best; she knew the demon had entered with a man, and she remembered looking at him, but for the life of her she couldn't remember his face. All she knew was that it filled her with dread.

She glanced across at her companion to see her shifting uncomfortably in the passenger's seat. It was like she was expecting confrontation.

"You OK? You seem, nervous." She asked unable to contain the sarcasm in her voice.

"I'm fine." She snapped back.

"So, are you going to tell Sam or am I?"

"Tell Sam what?"

"About the bar, when I had amnesia."

Her eyes shot to hers, but she tried to keep her voice nonchalant, "You remember that?"

"That's why you've been squirming in that seat, you were waiting to see if I mentioned it, don't play stupid."

She threw her eyes back out to the road ahead of them, "So you saw me in a bar, big deal. It's hardly the crime of the century."

"So you can explain why you acted like a stranger?"

"I knew you wouldn't remember me, so what was the point of explaining?"

"And your companion?"

Unexpectedly, Ruby smirked at her, "My companion?" She repeated. "Nice try Christina, but you've got nothing or why else would you be fishing for details?"

"You really want to take the risk of me telling Sam everything I think I know?"

She shrugged, "Sure. If you think you remember so much, tell him." She countered.

= X =

"Can't believe we made it out of there." Dean said propped against the passenger's side of the Impala with a beer in his hand.

Sam exhaled from his position sat on the hood of the car, "Again."

Dean reached around to hold his bottle up to his brother to silently celebrate their victory with a clash of drinks, and Sam obliged. Although he wore a smirk on his face, the older brother was tortured on the inside. Seeing Alastair again had just reminded him of the things he drank to forget. Taking a sip from his beer bottle, Dean prepared to bare his soul.

"I know you heard him." He said, starting the ball rolling.

"Who?" Sam countered. He knew who he was referring to, but he wanted him to say it.

Dean glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, "Alastair. What he said, about how I had promise."

"I heard him."

"You're not curious?"

"Dean, I'm damn curious. But you're not talking about Hell and I'm not pushing."

Dean took another drink from his bottle, encouraging Sam to do the same, as he struggled to find words for what he was about to say. "It wasn't four months, you know."

A frown formed on the younger brothers brow, "What?"

"It was four months up here, but down there… I don't know, time's different." Sam was stunned, but remained silent. "It was more like forty years."

"My God."

"They uh… they sliced and carved… and tore at me in ways that you…" He paused. "Until there was nothing left. And then suddenly I would be whole again. Like magic. Just so they could start it all over. And Alastair, at the end of everyday… every one… he would come over and he would make me an offer. To take me off the rack, if I put souls on, if I started the torture." He clarified. "And everyday, I told him to stick it where the sun shines. For thirty years, I told him. But then I couldn't do it anymore, Sammy. I couldn't." He said as tears welded up in his eyes, finally allowing his emotions to surface. "And I got off that rack. God helped me, I got right off it and I started ripping them apart. I lost count of how many souls." He continued as the tears spilled onto his cheek. Still Sam remained silent, despite the shock of what he was hearing his brother describe. Dean tried to maintain some composure as he relived it. "The things that I did to them."

"Dean…" Sam started, but had to clear his throat of the lump that had formed there. "Dean, look, you held out for thirty years. That's longer than anyone would have." He said compassionately as Dean broke down beside him.

He allowed the tears to fall, to feel the pain of what he'd lived through and then dragged a hand down his face to wipe away the trace of his tears but they continued to fall, "How I feel… this… inside me… I wish I couldn't feel anything, Sammy. I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing."

= X =

Christina walked into her building feeling emotionally drained. Seeing the way Dean looked at Anna had caught her off guard and she wasn't in a hurry to repeat it. For the life of her she couldn't move on. She thought all her promiscuity and drinking had been about getting her memories back but in truth it had all been about Dean. She just couldn't seem to put him behind her, no matter what trick she tried.

She put her key in her front door, thankful that her neighbour had offered to keep DJ for the day, and walked inside. Limply, she knocked the door closed behind her and made a beeline for the shower. She'd seen Dean pull off road not long into the journey and assumed it would be a while before they got back.

She reached inside the shower and turned it on before stripping herself of her clothes. As she removed the last of them, she caught sight of herself in the full length mirror on the wall opposite where she stood and edged closer to her reflection. She didn't really have to get too close to see the calling card Alastair had left on her body, but she did regardless. Reaching her mirror image, she stood before it as though awaiting judgement for a moment before she looked away. The tears stung her eyes as she flashed back to the night he'd carved into her. She could smell him in the room with her, she could hear his voice dancing around the walls and she could taste the blood coating her tongue. In an instant she was back there, wanting to beg for her life but refusing to give him the satisfaction. She forced her eyes shut and bit back the sob in her throat, Alastair was always going to haunt her and she was always going to love Dean – those were two things that were certain to never change – she just had to learn not to let either affect her living her life.

Not daring to look back at her reflection, she climbed in the shower and proceeded to cleanse her body of the fatigue of the day pushing her thoughts of Dean and Alastair to the back of her mind. By the time she'd finished and dressed for bed she'd almost fooled herself that she wouldn't think of them for the rest of the night. But when she walked out of her bedroom, she was taken by surprise by Dean perched on the couch in her lounge with his head in his hands. She took a minute to allow her heart to regain its normal pace as she edged closer and instantly noticed his tears. Not needing to speak, she lowered herself to sit beside him and he automatically turned to place his head on her shoulder. Slowly she wrapped her comforting arms around him as he sobbed like a baby. But a moment later he lifted his head and moved to force his lips on hers, needing the comfort only she could provide.

But she pulled away to protest, "Dean…"

"Please…" He said, his chin quivering with the force of his emotions. "Just for tonight… please."

She paused, considering to refuse him the release he needed, but her heart wouldn't let her and as he made a move to kiss her, more gently, she responded the way her body wanted her to.

He reached up to place his hand on the back of her head in order to intensify the exchange and his kisses got harder as a result. He needed a distraction from what he was feeling, and she was the only person he wanted to be with in that moment. He allowed his hand to drop to her covered breast and he felt her flinch beneath his touch but he didn't react to it because his emotions had the better of him. He lifted her effortlessly into his lap, raising her nightdress as he fondled her thighs and buttocks.

She reached down to unbutton and unzip his pants before reaching inside for the part of him that was now so familiar to her. Their lips continued to crash together as she gently stroked his manhood from base to tip enabling her to feel him hardening in her hand.

His breathing became heavier as she shifted to allow him access to her body and his erection sunk inside her. He relaxed momentarily, permitting her to go to work on top of him, before he stood – holding her on him – letting his jeans drop slightly, and lowered her to the floor.

= X =

When Christina woke up in her bed to darkness hours later, she felt satisfied. If her encounter with Dean wasn't enough for him to realise they should be together, nothing would. No matter who they slept with, they always wound up back together. It wasn't until she stretched her arms out wide that she realised she was in bed alone. She bolted up into a sitting position and called out his name, but no response came back.

Climbing out of bed, she grabbed for the housecoat Dean had disrobed her of some hours before to search her apartment for him and was enraged when there was no sign of him. She turned on her heel in the hallway to fetch her cell phone so she could ring him, when her front door knocked. She rushed to it, thinking it could be Dean but when she pulled it open there stood the mother she'd entrusted her son to.

"Lynda, hey." She greeted her, a little disappointed.

"I didn't get you up, did I?" She asked noticing her bedroom attire.

"No, I was just getting ready for bed before you brought DJ back." She said, not needing to share the details of what she'd actually been doing. She reached forward to take her son from Lynda's arms, "Has he been good?"

"He's been golden; I've barely known I've had him. We've really enjoyed having him around, haven't we Zac?" She addressed her 3-year-old.

She smiled as the toddler nodded silently, "Thanks so much for having him on such short notice. Ordinarily I'd have dropped him at my Dad's but he's out of town."

"It's OK. Like I said, he wasn't a bit of bother."

"I'll have to return the favour some time."

Lynda laughed, "I'll hold you to that."

Her smile held, "Have you got time for a coffee or have you got to get the little guy to bed?"

"Are you kidding? He would never sleep if I didn't make him." She laughed stepping over the threshold to her home. "Besides, it looks like you could do with a friend right now."

"Is it really that obvious?" She asked placing DJ in his bouncy chair and heading to the kitchen.

= X =

As Dean walked out of the coffee shop with strong drinks for him and Christina, a headline on the newspaper in the street vending machine caught his attention. Dropping a coin in the slot, he obtained a copy and headed to his car where he took a closer look at the story. By the time he got to the end of the article, he was convinced it was exactly the kind of case for him and his brother. Starting the car, he forgot about returning to Christina and headed to Bobby's to pick up Sam.

= X =

"I'm guessing your mood has something to do with DJ's father." Lynda stated taking a seat at the small dining table in the kitchen as Christina filled up the kettle and put it on to boil.

She sighed, "I just don't know where I stand with him. One minute he's calling me for help and the next he's using me as a booty call."

"So that's why you're half naked." She realised wearing a smile.

"Have you seen Dean? It's hard to say no to sex when he asks."

"And because you want it as bad as him." She laughed.

"Well, there is that." She agreed. "But he's been having a really tough time lately and he doesn't know how to deal with his emotions, sex is just his way of coping."

Lynda's expression suddenly turned serious, "But while he's coping, you're stuck in a rut. He knows that while you're having sex with him you're not going to move on, and he doesn't have to commit because you're just happy to have an occasional roll in the sack thinking eventually you'll get your man."

"No, Dean's not like that. He just thinks happiness isn't something he deserves." She said putting a spoon of coffee and a sugar in each of the two cups.

"Listen to yourself; you're defending him when all you're really doing is waiting around for a guy who wants you to be monogamous while he sleeps around."

"Believe me; I've had my fair share of promiscuity."

"Well I guess that's different than the 'but I love him' line." She countered watching her fill the cups with boiling water. "Except they both amount to the same thing, you're not ready to give up on him yet, are you?"

"You're right, I do love him and I've tried not to but I can't help it." She replied placing the cups on the dining table her friend was sat at and taking a seat herself. "It's going to sound like a cop-out but, he's the love of my life."

"What he needs is a shock to force him into a decision and if he doesn't choose you, then you'll know that it's time to stop living on hope."

"I dunno Lynda, to live without Dean in my life – that scares me."

"But to keep going the way you are isn't healthy. He needs to be all in or you need to get the hell out, it's as simple as that. Otherwise, you'll get to the end of your life and you'll be bitter and angry that he didn't let you live."

= X =

It was a week later when Dean and Sam returned to South Dakota. Sam had maintained contact with Christina while Dean buried his head in hunting in order to work through the emotions that had surfaced with his admission of what he'd gone through in Hell.

Sam was worried by how mechanical his brother appeared to be as they travelled state to state on cases with very little sleep in-between and often rang Christina to vent, who had been as helpful at first as she could be from so far away, but as the week wore on, she got less and less interested in helping a man who she was obviously last on the list of priorities for.

The youngest Winchester had called to tell her that they were on their way to her, so she'd spent the day much like she'd spent her week; misplacing her anger in keeping herself busy. She'd bake half the day and clean the other half around doing her duty as DJ's mother, but her mind was always occupied by Dean.

She hadn't long put her son down for his afternoon nap when her front door knocked and, knowing who it was, didn't rush to answer it. But when she pulled open the door Sam's face was the first thing she saw and that brought a smile to her lips.

"Hey Sam." She said reaching out to hug him.

"Hey CJ." He smiled returning her affectionate greeting.

She didn't give Dean so much as a sideways glance as she walked inside, silently inviting them in. "So what was the case?"

"Uh, the last one? It was a brother and sister living underneath their house."

"Her father got her knocked up and kept her locked up." Dean added.

"Oh, so now you're talking to me?" She snapped, unable to contain her anger.

He frowned, "What?"

"Well a week ago we slept together and then you disappeared from my bed without a word, then a week goes by before I hear from you. So I just assumed your silence meant we weren't talking."

"I went to get coffee." He defended himself.

But that held no sway with her. "And never came back!"

Sam frowned at his brother, "You slept with her again?"

What is it to you? It's not like I forced her into it."

"Oh no, there was no force required. All her had to do was shed a few tears and I was like putty in his hands, isn't that right Dean?"

"No, it wasn't like that."

"Then explain why you always come running to me because you obviously don't give a shit about me?"

"Of course I do."

"Yeah well, your actions say different."

"C'mon CJ, you know how I feel about you."

"No, I don't. And I'm not sure you do either." She said before going inside a draw under her TV, "Here, listen to this, it might remind you." She said throwing something his way.

Dean's fast reflexes meant he caught the object and opened his hand to see what lay in his palm. It was the tape labelled _Your Mom_, which he'd recorded for his son before he'd gone to Hell.

"Either that or you'll get a real kick out of it." She said coldly as the bitter sting of tears hit her eyes, "I especially love the part about my infectious smile – although it seems to have gone AWOL just lately." She continued as a single tear leapt the boundary and ran down her face.

There hadn't been a day that had gone by – in the four months he'd been dead – that she hadn't listened to the recording. Maybe that's why she hadn't been able to grieve because it still felt like he was around whenever she heard his voice sounding throughout her bedroom and the things he'd said on the tape seemed honest and heartfelt. But now she couldn't help wondering if he had meant them at all.

Sam looked at his older brother with sad eyes before silently making his exit, sensing they needed the privacy to talk. But he didn't go far, stopping outside her apartment door in case he was needed.

Dean stepped toward her, "I remember it all, I'm just not the guy you want me to be."

"You keep saying that, but you're _exactly_ the man I want you to be Dean. I fell in love with you _exactly_ the way you are. I'm not asking you to change. Just because you're too scared to commit, doesn't mean you're incapable of it. So stop hiding behind the excuse that I'm trying to make you something you're not, and just own up to not wanting one woman for the rest of your life. Because that's essentially what it all boils down to; you can't be faithful and committed on account of little Dean doing all your thinking. You're just too weak to be monogamous."

"What is it you want from me CJ? Because you keep saying you don't want to change me, but normal apple pie life isn't something I know how to do."

"I want DJ to grow up with his father around. I want you to be here in the morning when he wakes up; I want you to have breakfast together and then for you to kiss him before you leave on a job. I want him to know who you are, not to see only the back of your head as you're leaving. I want him to know you love him; I want you to show it. If you can't be with me, and you need to make that decision, you need to be a father to your son. You can't be half in, half out with him Dean."

"I'm here for DJ, that's not the issue. What is it that _you_ want from me?"

"The last thing I want to do is push you further away, but honestly, I want us to be a family." She replied.

"I'm sorry. Right now, I can't."

She took a minute to process his answer, "Well there it is." She said biting back the tears. "At least now I know."

Suddenly she couldn't breathe. To hear him say flat out that there was no chance for them knocked the wind out of her. She got to her feet to remove herself from close proximity to Dean so she could regain her composure and went to the kitchen.

"CJ." He called out following after her.

When he found her, she was supporting herself on the worktop, "Dean, I need you to leave." She said through struggled breath.

"We need to talk about this."

"No, we don't. Please just go."

He thought about fighting her but he'd never seen her vulnerable before and it unnerved him. He wanted to make things right between them, without backing down from his position, but he had a feeling he'd only make things worse if he stayed. Without a word, he backed out of the room and left the apartment to find his brother waiting for him outside the door.

= X =

As she stood supported by the work surface, Christina's body wracked with the release of a sob. Slowly her legs gave way and she slid down the cupboards to the floor before letting the tears fall. She had to face that her relationship with Dean was dead, with no chance of revival, and she allowed herself to grieve her loss. She had to force herself not to start the day hoping he'd drop by so she could see him, she had to separate herself from him while allowing him to be involved in his son's life and she had to come to the realisation that all her dreams for the future were shot. She'd been living on the hope that he'd see what was right in front of him all along and want her like she wanted him, but to hear him actually say that she wanted what he couldn't give her was a bitter pill to swallow.

= X =

Seeing his brother, Sam pushed himself up off the wall, "How did it go?"

Dean sighed, "She kicked me out, so how do you think it went?"

He took a deep breath, "Is she OK?"

He glanced toward the now closed door and shook his head, "I've never seen her like that, she looked…" He trailed off unable to come up with an adequate enough way to describe how he'd left her.

"Destroyed?" His brother offered only to be met with a look. "Yeah, I've seen that look. It's exactly what she was like when you died."

"Jesus Sam, you can't tell me that. What the hell am I supposed to do with that? Do you want me to go back in there and make her a promise I don't think I'm ready to keep?"

"No, of course not. But you should have done this a long time ago and you sure as Hell shouldn't have slept with her again. You gave her mixed signals."

He sighed, "What am I going to do Sammy? I can't avoid her for the rest of DJ's life."

"I guess you gotta give her time."

"Alright well, I'm going back to Bobby's to get my head down, you coming?"

Sam shook his head, "I think I'll hang around here, make sure she's OK first."

= X =

Christina took a deep breath – in an attempt to pull herself together – and dried her eyes. Getting to her feet, she continued to breathe hard and heavy – sucking back what was left of her emotions – and grabbed a glass from the drainer before pouring herself a measure of whiskey from the bottle beside the kettle. She didn't hesitate to lift the glass to her lips and knock the shot back before grabbing the bottle and going to the lounge.

For too long Dean had used her feelings for him to his advantage and now she faced the rest of her life without him. her gut reaction was to pack up and move away, but she'd finally found a place that she could call home, that had her father close and she wasn't willing to sacrifice all her relationships over Dean's inability to commit.

"You OK?" Sam asked compassionately, alerting her to his presence.

She sucked back her emotional need to take any comfort he could provide and poured herself more whiskey, "Yeah, I'm fine." She said downing the drink.

"You need anything?"

She hesitated and got to her feet, "Actually, could you watch DJ for me?"

He frowned, "Where you going?"

"I need to get out. Take a minute."

"Uh, yeah, I can watch him."

She instantly seemed to perk up, "Great. Thanks Sam." She said tiptoeing to apply a kiss to his cheek before grabbing her keys, phone and wallet and heading out the apartment without a word of where she was going or when she'd be back.

= X =

Dean lay on the couch at Bobby's unable to sleep. He kept replaying his encounter with Christina, thinking how he could have gone about it differently. Not that it changed anything. He'd said what he'd said and he couldn't retake the moment with the advantage with hindsight. Still, it didn't stop him feeling guilty. He'd never seen Christina so broken and knowing he'd caused it made it all the more worse.

There was nothing more he wanted than to be with her and DJ, but where he was at emotionally would destroy everything between them long before they had a shot at a fairytale ending. He had to allow himself to get straightened out before he took on the responsibly of being a family, but he couldn't ask her to wait. Things were so different to how they'd been before he'd served his sentence in Hell, he'd crawled out of the pit a changed person to the one that had gone in because the things he'd been forced to do had left scars that would take time to heal. There wasn't a day that went past that he didn't see the faces of the souls he'd tortured and there wasn't a night he slept that he didn't have nightmares reliving what Alastair had made him do. So to ask her to accept a man that was the shadow of the guy she knew would be a big mistake.

Throwing his jacket – his blanket for the night – off his body, he slipped it on and headed out the door. He needed a drink.

= X =

This bar had been her sanctuary so many times in the past that it was only fitting that it'd be the place she fled to in order to drown her sorrows. Luckily for her Tyler – the bartender she'd gotten too friendly with while she was absent her memories – had been sacked for sleeping with his female customers instead of doing his job, so she didn't have to endure him hitting on her all night from behind the bar. In his place was an aging cougar that would fawn over every young guy that walked in the joint. Christina would be judgmental, if she didn't think it was possible she'd be in the same situation in fifteen years time.

Knocking back her drink, she motioned to the redhead for a refill and she was happy to oblige, talking as she poured. "You need me to leave the bottle sweetheart?" She asked in a thick southern accent.

She was about to answer when the bar door opened. She smiled ironically upon seeing Dean, but made no attempt to engage him. It was him who made the first move – toward her.

"No thanks, it's time to go." She replied as he got closer. Chasing the last shot with the fresh one she got to her feet and headed for the exit.

He spun on his heel to call after her, "Hey. What you doing?"

"Leaving." She threw back over her shoulder. "You've done it. You should recognise the gesture."

= _A Few Hours Later_ =

Sam was relieved when he heard the attempt of the key in the lock. Christina had left the apartment hours ago and he was beginning to get anxious. But when he didn't hear the door open, he went to investigate.

Pulling open the door, he found her sat on the floor across the hall with her eyes closed. "CJ."

Her eyes seemed to spring open and a smile automatically appeared on her face, "Sammy!" She called out jovially, attempting to stand.

Sam rushed to her aid and got her to her feet, "What are you doing?"

But she disregarded his question, "Where's DJ?" She asked as she stumbled into the lounge.

"Are you drunk?" He asked wearing a frown.

She giggled, "Yes, but that doesn't explain where DJ is."

"He's in bed, where you put him before you went out." He reminded her.

"Oh yeah."

Sam sighed as she headed to the kitchen, "Why do you let him do this to you?"

"Apparently, I enjoy the punishment." She replied grabbing a bottle of beer from the fridge. "Besides, one woman's failure is another woman's challenge."

But once she opened the bottle, he took it from her, "I think you've had enough."

"I say when I've had enough."

"I'm not going to let you do this to yourself CJ."

"Give me my beer." She demanded holding out her hand in his direction.

He raised it out of her reach and outstretched his arm behind him, "No! You don't even like beer."

"Fine. Keep the beer." She said heading to the lounge and picking up the whiskey she'd left on the coffee table earlier. Unscrewing the cap, she took a swig from the bottle as Sam joined her.

"So this is your answer, to drink yourself to death?"

"Oh for God sake, cut me a break, it's just one drink." She replied dropping on the couch.

"This is more than one drink CJ, you can barely walk."

"Well, I managed to get from one bar to another and then walk home."

He exhaled heavily, "Not the point."

"Oh quit your whining." She said raising the bottle in his direction, "Join me, won't you?"

He rolled his eyes, not that she noticed, before motioning for the whiskey she held, "Alright, give it here."

"That's it Sammy, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em." She smiled as he sat down beside her and took a swig from the bottle. She leaned into him, "I saw Dean earlier."

"Where?"

"At the bar, well, the first bar. He tried to talk to me but I just walked out."

"Don't you think you should talk to him?" He asked taking another drink of whiskey.

"Nope." She replied resting her head on his shoulder.

"What about DJ? You two are going to have to work out a way to be around each other for his sake otherwise it's going to get ugly and it's not fair on him. He needs you both." He waited for a response, but merely got a grunt before a minute of silence passed. Craning his neck to see her face, Sam was met with a peaceful look of slumber. He looked forward and sighed, "Great, and now I get to carry you to bed."


	22. Chapter 22

**TWENTY – ONE**

Christina slowly opened her eyes and automatically felt the pounding in her head, which caused her to groan. She had no idea how she'd gotten to bed, much less how she'd gotten home. But she knew she'd been drinking, that much was evident by her dry mouth and her still spinning bedroom.

With more effort than she should've needed, she hoisted herself out of bed and ricocheted off the walls to get to the lounge. She could hear someone pottering about in the kitchen and didn't think to care who it was as she dropped down on the couch clutching her head.

"So you're still alive then?" She heard Sam's voice enquire as he entered the room.

Her eyes remained closed, "Barely." She responded causing him to snigger.

"Well, maybe this'll teach you to think twice before drinking Dakota's entire supply of Jack."

"I doubt it."

"DJ and I were just making breakfast." He announced holding the boy in his arms, "You want some?"

"God no."

"You know, greasy food helps a hangover."

"Are you trying to make me throw up?"

Again Sam laughed, "I don't think Mommy's going to be much use today." He addressed the baby.

"Hey Sam, how did I get home last night?"

"You don't remember?"

"If I remembered, would I be asking?"

He sighed as he put DJ down on the floor amongst his toys, "What the hell is going on with you lately? You're different."

"No I'm not, I've always been this messed up it's just no one's noticed before."

"No, I'm not buying it. You've used drink as a coping mechanism all this week and I wasn't gonna say anything but when you don't remember getting home, that's dangerous CJ."

"I can look after myself Sam."

"It looks like it."

"So I've had a freak out, no one asked you to stick around." She stated sitting up and resting her head on the back of the couch.

"And if I hadn't? What would you have done then?"

"You left before and I coped just fine." She spat back, referring to the time after Dean had been dragged to Hell.

He sighed, "I just can't figure out what snapped to make you like this."

"Like what? A normal 29-year-old woman?"

"This isn't normal for you. You've completely given up on Dean, it's like you just don't care enough to fight anymore."

"Yeah well, maybe I've reached my limit with Dean."

"I don't think you've got a limit when it comes to my brother, so what is it?"

She shrugged, "I feel different."

"Why?"

"Well, I haven't had a vision since I saw our future, maybe that's it."

"Are you kidding me? You hated those things so it wouldn't matter to you if you never had another one, ever. So what else you got?"

She took a deep breath, "Do you think it's possible that my mother was an angel?"

"I guess anything is possible." He replied before a frown appeared on his face, "What's made you think that?"

"It was something Castiel said ages ago about knowing her, but I didn't put much stock in it until Anna said she worked with her before she fell."

His frown held, "Anna only fell 24 years ago, that's just not possible."

"Not Anna, my mother fell." She clarified. "But what I don't get is, if she was an angel, why would she make a deal with the devil?"

"Well Anna didn't remember, maybe your mother didn't either because there's no mention of it in her journals."

"How could you not know something like that?"

"I don't know." Sam countered. "Is that what's been bothering you?"

She shook her head slightly, "There's something else, but my memory is a bit sketchy on a few details."

"What is it?"

She forced herself to look him in the eye, "I saw her Sam, while I didn't have my memories."

"Saw who?"

"Ruby."

"So?"

"She pretended she didn't know me because she knew I didn't know her."

"I reiterate; so?"

"You don't think that's strange?"

"Not really. She probably didn't want to freak you out."

"There's something else… she wasn't alone."

"Who was she with?"

"I don't know, I can't remember his face but I got a bad feeling from him Sam. Maybe if you ask her, she'll tell you who he was, because she wouldn't tell me."

"You asked her?"

She nodded slightly, "About two weeks ago, when I drover her back from Kentucky."

"And what did she say?"

"Not a lot. She seemed on edge until she realised I had no real information and then she became the cocky bitch she always is." She paused, "I'm telling you Sam, she's hiding something and my spidey sense is saying that it's not for our benefit."

He sighed, "I get that you and Dean don't trust her, but she helped me a lot when…"

"I know you think you can trust her, but she's still a demon Sam and – as much as I dislike your brother right now – Dean's gut instinct is usually right."

He shook his head, "No, not this time CJ. She's on our side."

"Maybe, but what if she's a Trojan horse?"

He hesitated, "I'll talk to her."

"That's all I'm asking." She said before moving back to a horizontal position on the couch. "Now go away and let me be hung-over."

= X =

"I've got it." Sam called out as the front door knocked and he rushed to answer it. Pulling open the divide, he came face to face with his brother, "Hey."

"Alright I'm here, what do you need?" He asked from outside.

"I need you to watch DJ."

Dean frowned, "Where is she?"

"Lying on the couch, hung-over."

"Does she know you called me over here like an obedient little puppy, because I'm probably the last person she wants to see?"

"Yeah well, she's asked me to do something and I can't do that and look after DJ too."

"You can't take him with?"

"No Dean. He's your son and I've been here for a week doing you this favour, because she called you on your crap and you've been avoiding her. So this is the least you can do."

"But why do I have to do that here? Why couldn't you have bought him to the motel?"

"You're still there?"

"I can hardly go to Bobby's. He still doesn't know."

"What? That you broke his daughter's heart so she's binge drinking again?"

"Alright, smartass." He said shutting his brother up as he stepped over the threshold into the apartment. "Go. I'll baby-sit."

"I shouldn't be gone long." Sam said grabbing his jacket from one of the hooks behind Dean and heading out of the door.

= X =

Christina opened her eyes from dosing on the couch and looked around the room, only to do a double take when she saw Dean sat on the chair opposite her. "Dean?"

"Before you start, this wasn't my idea." He started, holding up his hands in her direction.

"Where's Sam?" She asked sitting up.

"He had something to do so he asked me to come over and…"

But Christina cut him short when she started talking over the top of him, "I don't care." She said getting to her feet and going to the fridge for a soda.

"So, how you been?" He asked as she returned to the room.

"Constantly hung-over." She replied sitting back down. "But you knew that already so why don't you cut the small talk?"

"C'mon, don't be like that, please."

"Like you didn't expect this Dean? My God, did you really think you could tell me that I'm never going to have what I've wanted since you took my virginity and I wouldn't be hurt by it?"

"Of course not, but if you're honest you can't say you I didn't give you enough clues."

"And led me on at the same time." She countered. "Or do you sleep with everyone you're trying to not be involved with?"

"We weren't exactly monogamous CJ."

"You weren't but, since I got my memories back, I wasn't sleeping with anyone else."

"That was your choice."

"You're right. It was, because I was stupid enough to believe you'd eventually admit you loved me and allow yourself to be happy like your dad would've wanted."

"Don't bring him into this."

"Can you honestly say he would want you hunting forever, when you have the opportunity to have a family?"

"I don't know how to be a family, and that's his fault." He snapped.

"Not true. You're great with DJ because you spent most of your life being a father figure to Sam. You just don't know how to be in a relationship."

"You're right, and just because you want us to be a proper family it won't make it happen."

"You know what? I'm sick of fighting with you over the same thing, so fine, you don't want to be with me, I'll have to find a way of getting over that because you're DJ's father and to be honest, I can't imagine my life without you in it. So how about we try being friends?"

"You think you could do that?"

"As long as you don't rub your conquests in my face and don't expect me to be single all my life, I don't see why not."

Dean looked at her, as though weighing up how genuine her suggestion was and he was surprised by the lack of emotion she seemed to show. Maybe his brother was right, maybe she had completely given up on him this time, and he wasn't sure how to feel about it. He got to his feet and held out a hand in her direction as if to seal the deal with a handshake. "I'm up for it, if you are."

She looked down at his hand, "We can't seal it like a Crossroad's Deal?" She joked with a smile.

He raised an eyebrow, "How about once more for old time sake?"

She shook her head, "How are we meant to stay plutonic if the smallest suggestion has you chomping at the bit?"

"I'm still a guy, I'm not going to turn down really great sex, and you can't deny that it was always really great."

"Of course, because it's one of two things we've always been good at. But falling into bed with you is exactly why I've been waiting around for you. It's a mistake I'm not about to keep reliving. I need to stop thinking of you as the guy I'll end up with one day and start thinking of you only as the father of my son."

Dean instantly didn't like her disassociated description of their relationship because she would always be more than the mother of his child, but he knew he'd hurt her so he could hardly expect anything else.

"Besides, I'm dealing with so much right now that it'd be kind of a relief if you were the last thing on my mind."

His brow furrowed, "What's going on?"

She took a deep breath, she knew telling him would get a different reaction than the one she'd had off Sam, yet she still felt he should know. "I remember some thing's from when I didn't have my memories."

"What things?"

"I saw Ruby, and she pretended not to know me, but she wasn't alone."

"Who was she with?"

"That's what Sam's gone to find out, but I don't think she's going to tell him because I don't think she wants us to know." She sighed, "I don't think we can trust her Dean, I think she's up to something. Whatever she's done to help, she's still a demon and I've got a bad feeling that this bad demon turned good routine is only an act."

"Hey, you're preaching to the choir, but Sam trusts her so what are you gonna do?"

= X =

Sam stood leaning against the Impala, eyeing up Ruby. He trusted her, for reasons he wasn't ready to share with anyone, but something about her demeanour was making the hair on the back of his neck stand on end.

"What is it you're asking me Sam?" She asked defensively crossing her arms across her chest.

He frowned slightly, "I just want to know why you pretended not to know CJ in that bar."

"Because… I knew she didn't know me and I didn't want her to freak out about the whole demon thing in a crowded bar."

"She wouldn't have known you were a demon unless you told her."

"How was I to know that? She was still a hunter."

"So why did you approach her at all?"

"I don't know. I walked into the bar and I saw her drinking. I just thought if I spoke her, and she recognised me, I could help her or something." She said with a shrug.

He nodded, taking in her answer, "And who was with you?"

She laughed, catching him off guard, "She can't remember so she got you to come here and ask me."

"She asked you, but you wouldn't give her an answer. Why is that?"

"I didn't think it was important. He was just some guy that gave me a ride. You know, being a demon has some perks, but teleporting isn't one of them."

"And there's nothing more in it than that?"

"What are you accusing me of here Sam?"

He shook his head regretfully, "I had to ask Ruby."

"But that's the thing Sam, you shouldn't have to. Haven't I proved my loyalty by now?" She asked laying the guilt on him.

= X =

Christina stood by the window looking out, waiting for Sam to return, when – out of nowhere – Anna popped into her mind. She'd been dead set on telling Dean what the angel had told her, at the time she'd been told, but after seeing the way he looked at her, had retracted her initial decision. Now though it seemed stupid not to divulge the conversation they'd had.

She took a deep breath, but her gaze didn't stray from the street below, "Dean, what would you say if I told you we hadn't had DJ by accident?"

He frowned up at the back of her head, "What?"

She slowly turned toward him, "Anna told me before she…" She hesitated, not daring to finish her sentence. "…that DJ was God's greatest creation."

"And by God's you mean?"

"I mean he was meant to be born. Like he was pre-planned long before we were even here."

"You're saying that God planned for us to have DJ before we were even a blip on the radar?"

She nodded, "He has always had this plan for us, according to Anna."

"Take a minute to process that. It's not possible CJ, because that would mean we have no control over our own lives."

"Exactly."

"That's impossible."

"What if it's not? What if there is no free will, no coincidences, just a carefully mapped out plan of our lives, for all of us?"

"Then what would be the point of living?"

But she didn't answer his question, "I mean; what if we were meant to have DJ and what happened to our parents was just a plan in order to ensure his existence?"

"You think he's _that _important?"

She looked him dead in the eye as she answered his question, "I think he's _that _important. Why else would they want him?" Dean raked a hand through his hair, trying to process her theory. "Anna said he was more powerful than any demon or angel; that he was God's greatest weapon in the war against Hell because he's a mix of our bloodlines." His eyes opened wide as a 'wow' escaped in a whisper from his lips. "Both sides want him so they can train him to their way of thinking. That's why Castiel was protecting him."

"Because they want him too, and by protecting him they can coax him into batting for their side."

She nodded, "Dean, DJ can stop the Apocalypse."

"How?"

"He just has to think it, and it all stops."

"He's nine months old CJ. He doesn't even know what an Apocalypse is, never mind want to stop it."

"I'm just telling you what she told me." She countered.

"Well, a lot of good all that's going to do us. Lilith is breaking seals all over the place. We could have six months or six days, so how do we use any of that to our advantage?"

"I don't know Dean, all I do know is that we have to protect him at any cost because over my dead body is any demon getting their hands on my son."

= _A While Later_ =

Sam walked up the stairs to Christina's apartment dreading what he was about to walk in to. He knew she wouldn't be happy about being left with a babysitter, never mind that it was Dean, and he was getting himself ready for the fight. But when he walked in he found something else entirely. He could hear her laughter filtering through the air, so he instantly thought his brother had reneged on his agreement. But when he turned the corner into the main living area, he found them falling about on the couch in hysterics and then he spotted the whiskey bottle on the coffee table.

He hastily made his way to the centre of the room and addressed Dean. "You are unbelievable. I tell you that CJ's hung-over and your answer is to get her drunk?"

"Hair of the dog, right?" Christina laughed.

"I don't think it's funny. Your son is sleeping in the next room."

"Relax Sammy, this was her idea." Dean stated getting to his feet.

"Yeah relax Sammy, this was my idea." She repeated, laughing some more.

Sam rolled his eyes, "How many has she had?"

Dean scrunched up his face, "I dunno, I'm not her mother."

"Well maybe I should call her father and ask him." He threatened.

"Jesus, what crawled up your ass and made you a martyr?" Christina questioned with amusement dancing on her lips.

"What he's trying to do is threaten me with telling your Dad about us." Dean answered her.

"Awww, is Sammy-Wammy going to tell my Dad on me?" She mocked.

"CJ, you've got to snap out of this. I'm not going to be around forever to clean up after you." Sam tried to make her realised the severity of her actions, but of course it didn't work.

She got to her feet and headed over to him, "I feel like dancing." She said dismissing his warning and flicking on the stereo.

But as You Shook Me All Night Long by ACDC started to blast from the speakers and she started to jump around, Sam shot across to lower the volume before it woke the sleeping baby and turned to his brother, "Are you proud of yourself?"

"What?" Dean asked back with a carefree attitude. "We're only having a drink."

"And you've drank half a bottle. How is this helping?" He asked in a hush tone.

"You're acting like I've committed some big crime but she was going to drink with or without me."

"She's medicating herself with alcohol Dean, same as you did when you got out of Hell. Tell me how did that help you?"

He threw a glance her way, "I feel responsible for this."

"Because you are. But aiding and abetting isn't helping her." He sighed. "At this rate she's going to have a problem that we can't fix before we go back on the road and then what happens to DJ? Have you even stopped to think about that?"

"You're right, I should've been thinking about DJ." He countered with a sigh before remembering the reason he had been called over. "You find anything out from Ruby?"

His brow creased, "She told you?"

"Yeah she told me."

Sam shook his head, "She said she didn't want to freak her out."

"And the guy?"

He shrugged, "He was just some random who gave her a ride."

"And you bought that?"

"She's got no reason to lie about it."

"You sure about that?"

"Look, I know you don't trust Ruby, but I do and I don't think she's lying."

He looked over at the woman jumping around the living room, "And what about CJ? Something tells me you're not going to be able to convince her to trust Ruby. She thinks she's up to something."

"Right now, I think that's the least of my worries."

= X =

Christina woke up in the darkness with a groan and adjusted her sight as much as she could to take in her surroundings. She wasn't in bed, but she was still in her apartment, in her living room to be exact. The discomfort in her neck said she must've passed out on the couch and been left there to sleep. Slowly she sat up and, finding no sign of Dean or Sam, got to her feet to head for her bed. It was still pitch black outside and she wasn't about to stay where she was when she had somewhere more comfortable to sleep. Lethargically she made her way to her room and dived on her side of the bed. It wasn't until she smelled his cologne that she realised she wasn't alone. Her body ached for him instantly, something she could fight when she was wide awake and had her wits about her but under the cover of darkness and when she still had alcohol in her system was something else entirely. She knew he hadn't budged when she'd dropped down beside him, but she was horny – whiskey had that affect on her – and if he was already in her bed, she was going to use it to her advantage.

She snuggled in closer to him, so close she could feel his breath on her face and her vagina started to swell at the thought of him inside her. She found his lips in an instant and gently eased him out of his peaceful slumber, with soft kisses. It was apparent he'd started to stir when his arm wrapped around her and drew her closer. She placed her own arm over him and slipped her hand up the back of his t-shirt to run her fingertips over his skin. A sigh of enjoyment bounced around the room as he became more aware of what was happening and his lips hardened against hers.

"CJ." He whispered between kisses.

"Once more for old time sake." She countered in the same hush tone.

"What happened to not wanting to relive the same mistake?"

Suddenly she pulled away, "Do you want to get laid or not?" She asked outright, slightly irritated.

"Yeah, forget I said anything." He said, forcing his lips to hers again.

This time felt different for her. She had no expectations of what it would lead to. She just wanted her needs fulfilled and she knew that was something Dean always did very well. She wanted him to pleasure her; as only he knew how to, and tomorrow they could go back to being friends.

She quickly lifted his shirt over his head and threw it to the ground before removing her own and discarding it in the same manor. There was nothing soft and gentle about their love-making, it was intense and rough – nothing like before.

His groin tightened and his muscles tensed as she forced his hand up to her breast. He could feel her scars beneath his fingertips as her nipple danced in his palm. He knew there was no emotional connection for her in the act they were about to perform because she wasn't as gentle and attentive as in the past. He felt the twinges of himself hardening as she lowered her hand to caress his manhood through the fabric of his jeans and he reached to unzip hers. He rapidly stripped her of them before slipping his hand inside her panties and finding her clitoris. She gasped as she gyrated against his hand allowing him free roam of the part of her he was so familiar with by now, but her pleasure was short lived when he pulled away. She reached for the fly on his jeans and could feel his erection pressing against the denim, which made her eager to feel him within the depths of her. She stripped him naked, with his help, and travelled down his body to close her mouth over the head of his penis, which sent shockwaves of desire throughout his body. But when she opened up and took him deeper inside he felt like he was going to explode. She didn't linger there for too long, giving him a taste of his own medicine, and he groaned in protest as the cool air replaced the warmth her mouth provided. He was thick and hard, ready for her to have her way with him and she didn't want to waste anytime. She moved above him, straddling his thighs and teased herself against his tip before sinking down upon him.

He stiffened with his hands on her hips, holding her still as he enjoyed the feel of her surrounding him – the same, yet so emotionally different – and he looked up to her face to find impatience in her eyes. He was just a means to an end tonight, and she didn't want him getting sentimental, he could see it, but it was always more than just sex when they lay together. Still he couldn't blame her detachment, when he couldn't commit.

Slowly she began rotating her hips, causing her inner muscles to contract and suck at him. Her eyes were closed and her head was tilted back as she rode him, barely aware of him beneath her. Dean knew he was only participating on her terms. He focused on the tightening in his gut and thrust upward as she pushed down; burrowing deeper inside and she caught herself from calling out by biting on her bottom lip. He moved to sit up and covered her mouth with his own, but she was barely responsive as she returned the kiss.

Her movement sped up, becoming more determined as she got closer to reaching her peak and the sensation drove him over the edge. He found himself barely able to hold out as she exploded around him and seconds later he spilled inside her. He became rigid as the adrenaline rushed through him – the aftermath of his orgasm – and held onto Christina, savouring the way she felt as her muscles tightened and contracted around the part of him that connected them.

She slumped against his sturdy torso, panting as the affects of her own pleasure sent ripples through her body but still she maintained emotionally distant. There were no kisses like normal after a session, instead she clung onto him waiting for her satisfaction of release to pass and then climbed off his lap before heading straight to the bathroom. Dean's eyes followed after her in disbelief but it wasn't until he heard the shower that he eased himself back down to the mattress. He felt used and discarded, like a stranger and not the father of her son. Usually there was a connection between them during and after sex, so when she didn't want to cuddle in the aftermath of it he knew he'd pushed too hard. He'd lost her, and he wasn't sure what to do with that.

He'd been truthful when he'd confessed his inability to commit to her, not only did any relationship they have put her in danger, but he honestly doubted he could be the family man she wanted. Although, to feel such a detachment at a time when they were usually the most attached had made him wonder if he'd made a mistake. She'd wanted to be friends, an arrangement he thought he could stick to – until this. Maybe he had told himself that she'd always be there, a back up if he ever needed it, regardless of how he treated her, except it was evident to him now that he relied on their relationship just as much as she did.

= X =

Christina stood beneath the fountain of water allowing it to wash away the tears on her face. She'd had sex with Dean to prove to herself that she could fake being over him, until she actually was, but all it had proved was that she'd never be over him. With her orgasm had come the tears so she'd had to walk away. She couldn't let him know that she was regretting the suggestion to be friends when her heart would always want more. She'd focused all her energy on detaching herself from him while she held him in her most intimate place, but the reality was that he was so far under her skin that she'd never be free of him.

She felt repulsive. She'd used him like a piece of meat to prove something that deep down she knew wasn't true. But she had to maintain the façade that she wanted only what he was able to offer. She had to suck up the overwhelming urge to return to the bedroom and spill the truth like her life depended on it, because that would drive him further away, and she'd meant what she'd said earlier about not imagining her life without him in it. So she'd be miserable for a while, but eventually she would face up to the fact that Dean didn't want her – eventually.

= X =

Dean lay, listening to the shower, going out of his mind trying to figure out exactly what he wanted from Christina. He'd never really dwelled on it too much because she'd always been there. But imagining life without her was foreign to him. She'd always been reliable, someone he could turn to when no one else understood or had lost their patience with him and ultimately he expected he'd want the same from any woman he chose to spend his life with. He was so scared to want her that he'd lost sight of actually needing her, and tonight had proved that to him. He'd had plenty of meaningless sex in the past, and he hadn't so much as give it a second thought the next day, but nothing about sex with Christina was ever meaningless. She was the piece of him that he always returned to in spite of what had happened between them and when he thought about his future, she was always there with him.

As Dean contemplated confronting her in the bathroom about what had just transpired between them, his phone started to ring from the bedside causing him to grab it before it woke DJ. "Hello?" He questioned putting it to his ear before checking the ID of the caller.

"Hey, I got a case." His brother got straight to the point of his early morning phone call.

He'd had the night off babysitting duty, taking full advantage of Dean's offer to take over so he could go back to Bobby's and get some sleep, but it was evident he hadn't slept much.

He frowned, "Can't it wait until morning?"

"It is morning."

"It's not even daylight out."

"If we leave now we can be in Iowa for first light."

"And if we have a few hours sleep we can be there for when the cops would usually start working."

"You can sleep in the car, I'll drive."

"Why so eager? What's the case?"

"I'll tell you on the way."

He sighed, knowing his brother was not going to take no for an answer. "Alright, give me ten minutes." He said hanging up.

Climbing off the bed and grabbing his pants, Dean threw a glance at the bathroom door. He knew leaving was ultimately the only way to end the night he'd had, but he didn't want to leave without speaking to her. He pulled on his jeans and gingerly headed toward the crack in the divide between them.

"Uh, CJ?" He called out to her, loud enough to be heard over the sound of the shower.

A painfully slow second passed before she called back, "Yeah?"

"Sam called with a case…"

"OK, I'll see you when you get back." She answered before he had a chance to say he was leaving.

"Well alright then." He whispered before backing up and grabbing the rest of his clothes before heading out the door.

= X =

Christina breathed a sigh of relief as she vaguely heard the front door close. She hadn't wanted to face Dean after their sexual encounter, and she'd resigned herself to hiding out in the bathroom until he left the next morning, but now she didn't have to. She needed a few days to be able to focus on the denial that anything happened at all, and by the time he got back, she would be suitably numb to how disgusted she felt in her own behaviour; she just hoped Dean didn't feel the need to revisit it.

She turned off the shower and grabbed a towel as she got out of the cubicle. Wrapping it around her body, her eyes landed on the mirror above the sink. Stepping up to it, she wiped some of the steam clear through the middle of it and looked at her reflection. Her mirror image looked just as appalled with her actions as she felt but it didn't have to deal with the aftermath of it. The sick feeling in her gut was overwhelming and the revulsion in her mouth was almost too much to bear. She quickly dried herself off and slipped on her housecoat before walking back into her bedroom. She dropped down on the mattress, resting her head on her pillow, but the bed smelt of sex and that spurred her into action. She jumped up and removed the pillow cases before removing the sheet and blankets in a rage at herself. Tossing them toward her bedroom door, she climbed back on her bed and curled up in the middle of it. She needed to forget about Dean Winchester and get some sleep, but as she lay there, he was the only thing on her mind.

= X =

"Magicians? You got me out of bed for magicians?" Dean asked his brother as they pulled up in the car and he saw the array of Magic Week posters.

Sam rolled his eyes as they got out of the Impala. He knew his brother wasn't happy about being pulled out of bed because he hadn't shut up about it since they'd started the drive, but now it was getting tiresome. Without a word in response, he started to make his way toward the magician on the sidewalk who was spouting some rubbish about his magic being about demons and angels, love and lust to anyone who cared to listen. Dean followed, catching his brother up in a few steps.

"What a douche bag." The older brother commented as they joined the crowd.

"All that stuff mixed up in my head…" The magician continued as Sam turned to Dean.

"That's Jeb Dexter." He informed him.

"I don't even wanna know how you know that."

Sam shrugged, "He's famous, sort of."

"For what? Douche-baggery?" Dean asked watching the sidewalk entertainment.

"No matter how messed up it gets, don't touch me, OK? For your own safety." Jeb continued with his act. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths before gasping as though he'd been possessed causing the brothers to watch on. "Go back to Hell, demon!" He shouted spraying a deck of cards at a nearby shop window. The ace of diamonds seemed to stick to the glass, but it wasn't until Jed ran a hand over the glass that the spectators realised it was stuck to the other side. "Is this your card?" He asked a woman in his audience, causing rapturous applause to start.

"You gotta be kidding me. A fake demon possession?" Dean asked leaning toward his brother before turning and walking away causing Sam to follow him. "I can't believe people actually fall for that crap."

"It's not all crap."

"What part of that was not a steaming pile of BS?"

"OK, that was crap, but that's not all magicians. It takes skill."

"Oh, right, right." Dean smiled as a memory surfaced. "I forgot. You were actually into this stuff, weren't you? You had, like, a deck of cards and a wand -"

"Dude, I was 13. It was a phase." Sam defended himself.

"It just bugs me. Actually, it offends me. You know, playing at demons and magic when the real thing will kill you bloody."

"Like a guy who drops dead of ten stab wounds without a single tear in his shirt?"

"That's what I'm talking about."

= X =

Ruby checked over her shoulder as she walked into a dark alley, in order to ensure that she hadn't been followed, and Alastair stepped out of the shadows.

"What is it?" He asked impatiently.

"Sam's starting to ask questions." She said getting right to the point of their meeting.

"That's it? That's what you risked your cover for?"

"He had me in a corner, but I didn't tell him anything."

"If that's the case, why are we here?"

"It's Christina; she's getting dangerously close to remembering the night in the bar. It's just a matter of time before she figures it out."

"Don't worry about her. She won't be a problem for long; I plan to shut her up once and for all."

"You're going to kill her?" She asked surprised.

"Are you objecting?"

"No, but does he know?"

"The order came from him."

"Well, you need to hold off a while so it doesn't look suspicious. Sam's only just asked me about it, if anything happens to her now, they're going to know something's wrong."

"And what if she figures it out in the meantime?"

"It took her this long to figure out I was at the bar, I doubt another couple of weeks is going to make any difference."

= X =

Dean looked across at his brother as he drove to the motel for the night. The way Christina had been the night before had been playing on his mind all day, and he had to talk to someone about it. Sam was that someone.

"Listen, I want to tell you something, and I need you to not fly off the handle when you hear it." He said setting up his confession.

Sam frowned, "OK."

"Christina and I… fell into old habits again last night."

He turned toward him, "Again? How do you think she's going to be able to move on if you keep her on that shoestring?" He lectured.

Dean rolled his eyes, "Alright Sam, enough with the lecture."

"What do you expect? You keep falling into the same pattern you're both trying to break."

"But last night was different." He countered wearing worry on his features.

"Different how?"

"She treated me like a piece of meat, like I meant nothing to her."

His brow furrowed, "That doesn't sound like CJ."

"Trust me, I might as well of been a vibrator for all the emotion she showed. She's never been like that before."

"You mean, she's usually more invested than you are and because she gave you a taste of your own medicine, you don't like it?"

"It's not like that."

"Yes it is. Usually you're the one who's emotionally disconnected…"

"Not with her." Dean shouted, stopping his brother's attack on him.

Sam stared at him, "This has really got to you hasn't it?"

"It's just never been like that between us, that's all."

He could see in his brother's eyes that he was hurt by Christina's disconnection and he knew – despite everything – that he still loved her, as much as he tried to suppress it. "You need to tell her how you feel."

"I tried that already."

"No, you need to tell her how you really feel Dean. You love her and as much as you think you're protecting her by shutting her out your life, it's making you both miserable."

"I've only just got through retracting everything I've ever said to her."

"Because you thought that was what you wanted, but now you know different."

"But I can't keep yo-yoing."

"Then be honest with yourself Dean. What do _you_ want?"

Dean sighed, "I don't know Sammy, I wish I did. But I am way too messed up to be what she needs right now."


	23. Chapter 23

**TWENTY – TWO**

When Bobby had told Christina that the brother's would be back in town around lunchtime that day, she'd made sure she was at the Salvage Yard for their arrival. She didn't want Dean to have any opportunity to bring up what had happened between them before Sam had called him with a case, so the more people that were around, the better for her.

"So, how are you and Dean these days?" Her father asked, distracting her from playing on the floor with DJ.

She hesitated but didn't make direct eye contact, fearing that he would be able to read something in her eyes that would ultimately give it away. "We're good."

"Then how come you're here and not at your place?"

She sighed; she needed to give him something concrete, "Look, I'm not going to lie to you…" Which was code for, that's exactly what I'm going to do. "It's just going to take me time to adjust to how he feels."

Bobby frowned, "And how does he feel?"

She cursed herself for slipping out what she'd tried so hard to keep from him for fear he'd fly off the handle, but she wasn't thinking straight. "He was honest." She said knowing she couldn't pull back now she'd started. "He doesn't see us together. And I can respect that, or I will, eventually."

"I did tell you not to pin your future on that boy."

"I know." She countered, with an unnoticed eye roll as they heard the roar of the Impala engine out back. Christina shot to her feet, "Please Dad, keep this to yourself. I don't want him to feel guilted into giving us a chance because you came down on him."

"OK." He sighed.

"Promise me." She pushed for reassurance as she lifted DJ from the floor.

"Alright, I promise." He unwillingly agreed.

Christina turned toward them and smiled as the Winchesters walked in through the back door. She immediately looked down to address the 9-month-old boy she held in her arms. "Look, Daddy's here." She said passing him over to Dean, who had his arms outstretched.

"Hey buddy." He greeted his son as he took him. "D'you miss me?"

"Of course he did." She said speaking for him as she pushed any awkwardness to the back of her mind. Her act had to be believable; she didn't want anyone suspecting she wasn't trying to be normal with him.

But Sam frowned. He knew what had happened between them before they'd left town and he was surprised to find she was so detached from it because it was so unlike her.

Christina noticed the look the younger brother cast her way and realised he knew, but dismissed it. "So, what was the case?" She asked.

"Magicians." Dean replied.

She smiled at his brother, "Ooh, I bet you loved that didn't you?"

Sam rolled his eyes, "Why does everyone assume-"

"Well because you had the deck of cards and the wand." She mocked.

Dean tossed him a 'told-you-so' glance and smiled. "Hey, she was there."

"It was a phase. I was 13." He enforced.

"So you keep saying." His older brother mocked. "But you were pretty into it back there."

Sam sighed and rolled his eyes, "Whatever." He said walking to the fridge and grabbing a beer.

"Isn't it a little early for that?" Christina teased.

"Yeah well, you've driven me to it." He countered twisting off the cap.

She laughed, "I'm sorry."

"You know what, apology not accepted." He played taking a drink from his bottle.

She smiled over at Dean, "C'mon Sammy, how can I make it up to you?"

But he shook his head, "You can't. There is no making it up to me."

"Not even if I cook you a full works fry-up?"

"If you cook that I'll forgive you for him." Dean chipped in.

= X =

Christina smiled as she threw a glance across at Dean playing with his son at the table. She knew he'd been trying to create an opportunity to get her alone and so far she'd managed to avoid it, but it was written all over his face that it was only a matter of time before he got to have his say. She placed her plate down and sat in front of it, "Dean, your food's getting cold." She told him.

But he continued to gently bounce DJ on his thigh as the youngster grabbed for his meal. "Sorry buddy, that's Daddy's." He said pushing it out of his reach.

"Da-da." The small boy's voice echoed throughout the room.

Dean looked around at everyone, "Did you hear that?" He asked looking back down at his son.

"Sure, me he's with all day but his first word had to be you." Christina said wearing a smile.

Dean lifted the boy above his head, "Who's a clever boy?" He asked tossing him toward the ceiling and catching him.

But Christina grimaced as he repeated the action, "Uh, Dean… that's not a good idea…" But she'd barely got her sentence out before her son threw up all over his father causing his uncle and his mother to stifle a laugh. "I did try and warn you."

Pushing the dining room chair out from under him as he stood up, Dean held DJ at arms length away from his body and looked down at his shirt. "I guess now I gotta shower."

"Here, let me take him." Sam said standing up and taking the boy from him. "Nice job little man."

Christina laughed as Dean shot his brother a look absent humour. "Nice job?"

"Well, you knew he'd just eaten." He smirked settling the 9-month-old into the crease of his arm, facing away from his body. He waited for Dean to walk out of the room before lowering his head closer to DJ, "Seriously, nice job."

By the time Dean resurfaced everyone had dispersed and there was no sign of anyone, apart from Sam. "Hey." He announced his reappearance. "Where is everybody?"

He looked up from the book he was reading from, "Uh, Bobby's gone to get a few things he was running low on and CJ is putting DJ down for his nap."

He thumbed over his shoulder, "I've just come down from there, and I didn't see her." He said worried that his chance to talk to her had passed.

Sam shrugged, "Then I don't know, but she can't be that far away."

Dean had kept up the façade Christina had forced him into because the last thing he wanted was for Bobby to find out – and ordinarily he'd be quite happy she was acting so normal with him – but he needed to talk it out, so he went to find her.

= X =

Christina stood on the front porch just taking in the silence that surrounded her. She was exhausted from the smokescreen she'd had to keep up for her Dad and now he was gone – and she didn't have DJ as a distraction – she couldn't take the chance that she'd be left alone with Dean and he'd want to talk, especially when it seemed like Sam knew about their rendezvous. She would damn Dean for always sharing that information with his brother, if she didn't know they needed that kind of honesty in order to remain close.

As she stood there, looking out at the scrap cars there was a feeling of serenity that flowed through her, but all too soon it was over. The back door opened and she found herself involuntarily turning to see who it was, only to have her heart sink when she saw him.

"Hey, I was wondering where you'd got to." He said stepping out and closing the door behind him.

"Well, you found me." She said forcing a smile. "What's up?"

"Can we talk?" He asked in a soft voice.

"What about?" She asked knowing precisely what subject he was about to approach but hoping she was wrong.

"About what happened the night-"

But she cut him off, "Sorry Dean, I can't do this right now." She said, stepping past him to go back inside.

"Wait!" He said reaching out to grab her hand, "Was I just imagining it-" Slowly she turned toward him and he stopped when he saw her tears. "So it wasn't just me?"

She moved her hand from within his, "I'm sorry Dean, I can't." She said turning and disappearing inside.

Sam frowned as Christina rushed past him in the hall and headed outside to his brother, "Well?" He asked closing the door behind him.

"Something is definitely wrong." He replied.

"What did you say?"

"I didn't get a chance to say anything before she bolted back inside."

"So what are you going to do?"

"What can I do if she won't even give me a chance?"

Sam's eyes dropped to the ground, he had a suggestion, but he wasn't sure how his brother would take it. "I've been thinking… why don't you take her out on a date?"

Dean's mouth dropped open, "A date?"

"Yeah, you've only ever been out once together, maybe it'll help."

"Sam, I can't get her to be in a room alone with me and you think she's going to agree to a date?"

"It's worth a shot isn't it?"

"Not really because I already know what her answer will be – and even if she did agree, what's stopping her walking out on me halfway through when I bring up the subject she's obviously not interested in revisiting?"

"You've gotta make her listen Dean."

"How? By tying her down? Because that's the only way I'm going to stop her from taking off."

He'd toyed with the idea that maybe he had been imagining her detachment from him during sex; except her reaction had only solidified that his suspicions had been right. And that didn't explain the tears or her reluctance to talk about it. Unless she was hurt by the fact she could be so close to him without feeling anything after all the years of loving him. He was perplexed, nothing about this situation made sense.

= X =

Sam left his brother and went to search the house for Christina; it was only when he got to Bobby's bedroom that he found her. Slowly he walked inside to find her sitting in the middle of the bed, but she was the one that spoke first.

"Do you know when I was a kid this was the safest place in the world for me?" She asked looking around the room at the dated décor, "And now it seems that no matter where I go, I can't get that feeling back."

"CJ, you gotta talk to him." Sam said dismissing her nostalgia.

"I can't Sam." She said with a shake of her head.

"Why not?"

"Because… he tells me that he loves me and I get hurt, I try to move on and I get hurt, I use him like I feel like I've been used and again I get hurt. I can't keep going on like this. There's only so much devastation one person can take before they self destruct."

"So you knew what you were doing?"

"Of course I did. I wanted to prove to myself that it could just be sex with Dean and nothing else but it backfired."

He nodded knowingly, "You still love him."

"I wish I could turn it off Sam, because every time I see him I just want him to wrap his arms around me and make me feel safe."

"Then just listen to what he has to say. I promise you, this time'll be different. Just give him a chance to tell you how he feels"

"I've already heard it. He doesn't want me. Somehow I'm not enough for him. I get it, I do. But I can't hear him say it again."

"No, that's not it."

"Then what is it?"

"You should hear it from him."

She sighed as she got up off the bed, "Thanks for trying to help Sam, but I think we both might need to face the reality that Dean and I aren't meant to be." She said reaching up to pat him on the bicep as she walked past him.

But before she got too far, he turned toward her with determination, "Just hear him out, I swear – on my life – that you'll want to hear what he has to say."

She hesitated in the doorway, staring up at his face. There was something in his eyes that screamed desperation and it made her curious. "You really think it'll make a difference?" She asked softly.

"I wouldn't be putting my life on the line if it wasn't."

She teetered between putting him out of his misery and sticking to her guns for a second before nodding, "OK, if you really think it's that important, I'll hear him out."

"I promise you won't be sorry." He said reaching out and giving her a hug.

Yet, as they broke apart, she held up her finger in his direction, "But if I end up getting hurt again, your life will _literally_ be on the line."

= X =

Dean stood out on the porch, thinking of a way to get Christina to listen to him willingly but came up empty. He was all for tying her up and gagging her in order to have his say, although he wasn't sure that would go down well with the family. He was about to march up to her and insist she listen when he heard the back door open behind him. He half expected to see Christina, but he saw Sam instead.

"Alright, I've got you an opening – you better not screw it up." He informed and warned his brother.

The oldest man frowned, "How the hell did you pull that off?"

"I begged, I pleaded and I offered her my life so make it worth the sacrifice."

He sighed, "Any idea what I say?"

But Sam shook his head, "Well, that's up to you. But be honest because this is your last chance." He saw the doubt in his eyes to be able to do as his brother suggested and he pounced on it without hesitation, "I'm serious Dean, if you don't tell her what you told me, she is gone for good and the only contact you'll have is when you pick DJ up outside her place. I'm telling you, it's now or never."

He nodded, "OK. I'll find the words, from somewhere, somehow."

= X =

Dean sat with his brother and Christina observing. He'd been searching his mind for a way to spit out what he needed to say for the past hour and still he came up empty. Regardless of how close he was and had been to Christina, admitting the truth about how he felt was going to be difficult because he'd never done it before. But if anyone deserved that kind of honesty, she did. Still, it wasn't until she laughed at something Sam said and he found himself involuntarily smiling, that he realised he just had to say it how it came out.

He approached her immediately, wanting to say his piece sooner rather than later. "Hey, can I have a word with you?" He asked nodding in the direction of the back door.

She stopped for a second and threw a look across at Sam before answering. "Sure." She replied, following him.

When they got outside, she pulled the back door shut with a deep breath. It wasn't going to be easy for her to listen to what he'd got to say, but she'd promised Sam she would.

Slowly she turned toward him, to find him staring back at her. "You OK?" She asked with a frown.

"Yeah, but I've been thinking about it and, what I said about not wanting to be with you – well, it wasn't technically true." He started.

She shifted her weight onto one leg and folded her arms across her chest, "OK, you got my attention."

"The truth is, I love you."

"Yeah, I've heard that before."

"This time is different."

"Maybe, but I can't live my life waiting for you to leave Dean."

"I want us to be a family – a real family – but I just don't know how it would work. I'm a hunter and I'm always going to be a hunter, it's not something I can just switch off. I just don't know how to do both."

"Is that really the only thing holding you back?"

He thought about lying to her, but he'd done too much of that already. He shook his head, "I'm still wearing some scars from my sentence in Hell."

"So, you're not saying never?"

"No, I just don't know when I'll be ready."

She took a few steps closer to him, "Well, when you're ready, DJ and I will be waiting for you. Until then, you do what you can." She said tiptoeing to place a soft kiss on his lips.

"You really think we can pull something like that off?"

"It's worth a shot right?"

= X =

Sam looked up as Dean and Christina walked back inside with smiles on their faces and he got to his feet, "We all good?"

She smiled and nodded, "You can rest easy Sam, your life is good for another day."

He faked a sigh of relief, "That's good to know."

"We were actually thinking of going to my place…"

Dean frowned, "We were?"

"Yes, we were." She said reaching back to squeeze his hand. "So, would you watch DJ for the night?"

He smiled and dropped his eyes to the floor, "Do I have much choice?"

She rushed over and tiptoed to apply a kiss to the younger brother's cheek, "Thanks Sam." She said before heading back to Dean and dragging him from the house.

Sam smiled ruthlessly to himself. It was nice to see Christina happy again and he liked that he'd had a part in it, no matter how small. All he ever wanted was to see his brother get the life he deserved, and he needed her – no matter how much he tried to fight it and tell himself it wouldn't work out. Christina was the girl he loved, and she was good for him. Pleased with his efforts to get the two back on an even keel – and then some – Sam dropped back down to the couch, only to be startled when Bobby walked in the door.

"I just saw the Impala roar out of here, where's Dean going?" He asked.

"He's dropping CJ at home."

"And DJ?"

"I said I'd have him for the night."

"Then there's no prizes for guessing what they'll be getting up to."

Sam couldn't help the short laugh that escaped his lips, "Yeah, I guess they worked out a few kinks in their relationship."

"Yeah well, at the rate they're going they'll end up killing each other because of those kinks."

"Well I hope it won't come to that."

= X =

Christina didn't waste any time as she walked in through her apartment door; she grabbed Dean's hand and led him to her bedroom. But as she forcefully planted her lips on his, he defused her rising urge for him by taking a step back.

"Hey, let's do this right this time." He whispered reaching to tuck some of her hair behind her ear. He wanted to take things slowly to make up for their last encounter and she nodded slightly to agree.

Dean pushed her shirt off her shoulders allowing it to float to the floor and rest behind her heels. She watched his reaction as he took in the full sight of the scars on her chest, to find his expression unchanged.

He returned his eyes to her gaze with softness as he raised his hand to them. Gently he touched two fingers to one of the disfiguring marks above her breasts and traced its contours causing her to close her eyes, allowing a single tear to escape and roll down her face. Her reaction didn't go unnoticed and response he leaned to touch his lips to hers, but only for a second.

"You are beautiful." He whispered moving his hand to the side of her neck and drawing her closer.

= _Two Weeks Later_ =

Dean woke up to find he was alone in the motel room they'd booked into. Slowly he lifted his head from the pillow to look around and it only took a second for him to locate his brother in the bathroom with the door ajar. He could see him pacing and hear him whispering into his phone. It was obvious that whoever he was talking to, he didn't want him to know. So as he heard Sam hang up, Dean returned his head to the pillow and closed his eyes to make him believe he was still sleeping.

He pretended he was oblivious to his brother's secret phone call when he was woken told about a case in Bedford, Iowa where a third happily married man inside two months had killed his wife. Dean prepared for the day, ready to get on the road, without saying a word about what he'd witnessed. It had proved difficult for him to not question Sam about his secrecy but he was biding his time for maximum effect.

The brother's travelled to Iowa in near perfect silence. It wasn't a long drive but it was a substantial way without either of them speaking, luckily Dean had the company of his music as it blasted from the speakers.

"So how was CJ with you bailing?" Sam asked turning to his brother as they passed the state line.

"Shockingly cool actually."

"Do you see the difference the truth makes?"

An ironic laugh escaped his lips as he pulled up outside the prison they were going to in order to question the third victims' husband, "Yeah." He countered with a hint of sarcasm, which his brother didn't pick up on.

Interviewing the husband – as lawyers – led them to discover he'd visited a strip joint in town and, after some coercion, he told them about a stripper, Jasmine, he'd met there who he'd killed his wife for. Some further digging by Sam meant they learned that both men before him had also met strippers whom they'd killed for, but they had gone by different names. Their investigation led them to the hospital, and Sam interviewed Dr. Cara Roberts who was handling the case. He discovered that the husbands had high levels of Oxytocin in their blood, a hormone produced during childbirth, lactation and sex.

= _Later At The Bar_ =

Spotting his brother, Dean made his way across the club toward him and stopped by a table opposite where Sam stood.

"Any luck?" The youngest brother asked.

Dean's eyes stayed firmly fixed on the strippers that were walking around, "No. You?"

"A little. Just talked to Bobby. We officially have a theory."

"What's that?"

"Siren."

Dean frowned, "Like Greek myth siren? _The Odyssey?_" He asked getting a look of surprise from his brother. "Hey, I read."

"Yeah, actually. But the siren's not actually a myth. It's more of a beautiful creature that pray on men, entice them with their siren song."

"Let me guess, _'Welcome To The Jungle'_? No, no. Warrant's _'Cherry Pie'_."

"Their song is more of a metaphor, like their call, their allure, you know?"

"So they shake their thing and the guy's zombie out?"

"Basically, yeah. Sirens lived on islands. Sailor's would chase them, completely ignoring the rocky shores and dash themselves to pieces."

"Just like Adam and his buddies."

"Yeah. If you were a siren in '09 looking to ruin a bunch of morons, where would you set up shop?" Sam asked rhetorically.

Dean looked around, taking in his surroundings, "So whatever floats the guy's boat, that's what they look like?"

"Yeah. You see, sirens can read minds. They see what you want most and they can cloak themselves. You know, like an illusion."

"So it could all be the same chick, morphing into different dream girls?"

Sam was taken back, the thought hadn't occurred to him, "Yeah, actually. Probably. Sirens are usually pretty solitary."

"How do we kill it?"

"Bobby's working on it. Even if we figure that out-"

"How the hell are we gonna find it?" Dean said finishing his train of thought. "It could be anybody."

= X =

Dean sat at the table in the motel room and stared at Sam's phone lying on an open book just inches away from him. He knew his brother hadn't meant to leave it behind when he went to investigate the latest killing from the night before, but he had. His eyes moved to the door and back again, but the temptation was too much to resist. He picked up the Blackberry and went into the call log. Scrolling through to the morning before, Dean was faced with a number he didn't recognise; (219) 555 0124, so he hit the call button. Only when he heard Ruby's voice at the other end he felt a wash of betrayal come over him. He hung up and put the phone back where it had been before his curiosity had got the better of him.

Seconds later his brother walked into the room and told him about Lenny Bristol, the latest victim of the siren, who had killed his mother for a stripper named Belle. But as the two conversed about whom he'd killed and why, Sam's phone started to ring. Dean's eyes immediately went to the object in a panic, thinking Ruby was calling back.

"Yeah, you, uh, forgot your cell." Dean said picking up the phone and subtly checking the I.D of the caller. He was immediately relieved to find Bobby's name on the screen as he got to his feet and handed it to his brother.

"Hey Bobby." Sam answered as he took his brothers seat at the table.

"Sam, did you find her yet?" The older man asked down the line.

"Uh, no. and, uh, it doesn't seem she's slowing down any. What about you? You got anything?"

"Uh, some lore from a dusty Greek poem." He replied. "Shockingly, it's a little vague."

"Hold on a sec, I'm gonna put you on speaker."

"It says you need 'a bronze dagger covered in the blood of a sailor under the spell of the song'." He continued as his voice filled the room.

"What the hell does that mean?" Dean asked with a frown.

"You got me. We're dealing with 3000 years of the telephone game here."

"Best guess?" Sam asked as his brother took a seat at the table.

"Well, the siren's spell ain't got nothing to do with any song. It's most likely some kind of toxin or venom. Something she gets in the vic's blood-"

"Makes them go all _Manchurian Candidate_. Uh, what do you think, she infects the men during sex?"

"Maybe."

"Supernatural STD." Dean commented.

"Well, however it happens, once it's done, the sirens gotta watch her back. She gets a dose of her own medicine…"

"It kills her." Sam finished his line.

"Like a snake getting iced by its own venom." Bobby confirmed.

"So we just gotta find a way to juice one of the OJ's in jail?" Dean inquired.

"Not that easy. None of those guys are under the spell anymore. Haven't got a clue where you're gonna get the blood you need."

"I think I might have an idea." Sam said, thinking immediately of Cara Roberts, the doctor at the hospital.

"Be careful, these things are tricky bitches. Wrap you up in knots before you know what hit you." Bobby said issuing his final warning.

= X =

The brothers returned to the hospital to see the doctor about the blood samples she had, only to run into another problem, one that went by the name of Nick Munroe – Detective Nick Munroe from the Omaha violent crimes unit.

"My SAC sent me down here to see about the murders." Nick informed Special Agent Sam Stiles and Special Agent Dean Murdock. "You?"

"D.C. Our assistant director assigned us." Dean replied.

"Oh, which AD?"

"Mike Kaiser." Sam answered.

"What are your badge numbers?"

"You're kidding right?" Dean countered.

"I'm just following protocol."

Sam reached into his inside suit jacket pocket, "Look, man. Whatever. Just call our AD; he'll sort things out huh." He said passing him a card.

Nick reached into his pocket for his phone as he walked away from the brothers and punched in the number when he was a safe distance away.

"D.C. Bureau." The voice on the other end said.

"Yeah, Assistant Director Kaiser, please." Nick said.

"That would be me. What can I do for you?" Bobby countered.

"Yes sir, uh, hello. It's Agent Nick Munroe. I'm calling about, uh, two of your men. Stiles and Murdock? Uh, it seems that they've been put on my case by mistake."

"You questioning my authority?" He asked as he stood in his 'Kiss the Cook' apron at the stove in his kitchen cooking.

"No, no, no, sir. I'm not questioning your-"

"You could have fooled me. Last time I checked, son, D.C. has jurisdiction. Or am I wrong?"

"Uh, no sir."

"Well, good. Well, the next time you wanna waste my time with stupid questions, don't." He said hanging up.

Nick returned to where the brothers stood, "I'm sorry guys." He said handing the card back to Sam.

"Yeah, just don't let it happen again." Dean countered as his brother placed the card back in his inside top pocket.

"So, where you at with this?"

"Where are you at with this?"

"Well, I was just about to run the perps' blood work."

"I already checked, it's a dead end." Sam replied.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"But get this, I feel like I found something that connects all the murderers." Nick continued.

"Really?"

"They were all banging strippers… from the same club."

"You don't say." Dean said playing like it was new information.

"What do you say we go down there and check it out?"

He sighed, "Well, here's the thing, Nick. See, we're kind of lone wolves-" He started, only to be cut off by his brother.

"You know what, that sounds like an excellent idea." Sam interrupted him. "Just give me a second with my partner and we'll, uh- One sec, come here." He said dragging Dean away. "Dude, you gotta stay with him."

"What?" Dean countered.

"Keep him out of the way."

"Why me?"

"Because I gotta get the blood samples."

"What the hell am I supposed to do with him?"

"Just take him to the strip club… keep an eye out for the siren. Come on. Just focus on the naked girls. You'll forget he's even there." His brother continued, playing to his like for strippers.

Dean thought about his proposal for a minute, "I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it for the girls." He said before walking away.

= X =

Christina looked up from her 10-month-old son as her cell phone started to ring and grabbed it off the coffee table, taking a quick glance at the callers I.D. before answering it. "Hi Dad."

"Hey Princess. I need you to do me a favour." He said getting straight to the point of his call.

"Sure, what do you need?" She asked tucking her fringe behind her opposite ear.

"Can you look after the place for the night?"

She frowned, "Why?"

"The boys need me to go out to Iowa."

"What for?"

"They're dealing with something down there and I think one or both of them are in over their head this time."

"Are they in trouble?"

"They might be."

"Then I'm coming with you."

"That's not a good idea."

"Dad, this is Dean, if he's in over his head then this is serious. So I'm not arguing with you, I'm coming."

"And what about DJ?"

"I'll ask Lynda to have him."

Bobby sighed, "I'm not talking you out of this am I?"

"No."

"Alright, I'll pick you up in thirty minutes."

= X =

Dean and Nick knocked back a shot simultaneously as they sat at a table near the pole dancing sector of the club and as they both planted their glasses down the Winchester man wagged a finger in his direction.

"Nobody's Fault But Mine." He said.

"Oh, oh, oh, uh, Zeppelin recorded it in '75, it was a cover of a Blind Willie Johnson tune."

Dean smiled and clicked his fingers, "Nice."

"You Shook Me."

"Ah, '69, debut album, written by Willie Dixon."

"And..?"

"And what?"

"Written by Willie Dixon and J. B. Lenoir."

Again Dean smiled, "Dude. Dude. You know, for a fed, you're not a total dick."

"Aren't we both feds?"

"Yeah, no, I just- - You know, not a lot of feds are as cool as us. Huh?" He covered his Freudian slip as his eyes went back to the dancer on the pole.

"So, what the hell with this case man?" Nick asked changing the subject. "How does a girl talk four different johns into murder?"

"It's a crazy world." Dean said, not really paying much attention, as a stripper caught his eye.

"I guess." He countered. "Hey, can I level with you?"

"Mm." He responded moving his concentration back to the agent.

"I found something kinda weird."

He moved his eyes to the pole dancer, "Well, you have brought your weird to the right spot. Lay it on me."

"I went to the crime scene this morning. Saw them bagging this up." Nick said removing an evidence bag from his jacket pocket and putting it on the table in front of Dean. "So I went back through all the files and it turns out a flower just like that was found at every crime scene."

"Like it was left on purpose?" He asked.

"I mean, you know, sometimes a serial killer will leave an object behind, like a calling card but with this case… tell you the truth… I got no idea what's going on."

But Dean was only half listening, he was searching his memory for information he knew he had, and seconds later he remembered. "I think I might. I've seen a flower like this before." And that place had been Cara's office at the hospital.

= X =

While his brother was keeping Agent Nick Munroe occupied with the strippers at the club, Sam used his connection with Dr. Roberts to get to the blood samples of the sirens victims, except when she went to get them, she found them missing. The next step was to check the surveillance footage, but there was a problem with that too.

"We've watched them twice." Cara said looking up at Sam, who was stood behind her position in a chair. "Whoever took the blood- -"

"Must have tampered with the tapes." He said finishing her train of thought with a sigh. "Who has access to your office?"

"Everybody. I don't lock it."

"You what?"

She laughed, "I've never had this problem before." She said as he shifted wearing a worried look on his face. "What is so important about the blood, anyway?"

"I think someone drugged the men. Made them commit murder." He was candid.

"What? What kind of drug?"

"Um, not sure yet."

She drew in a sharp breath, "I don't know. I mean, I interviewed those guys and they had their reasons."

"Yeah, but they all loved their victims."

"I'm sure they did." She replied, which only made Sam frown, "Come on, haven't you ever been in a relationship where you really loved somebody…" She started getting up from her chair and leaning toward him. "…and still kind of wanted to bash their head in?"

Sam let out a chuckle of amusement, "Sounds like you're speaking from experience."

"Yeah." She said with a small sigh as she moved to the cupboard behind her desk and reached inside.

"Look, I'm sorry. I don't mean to pry."

"It's OK. I was the one who brought it up." She said placing two glasses and a bottle of liquor on her desk before pouring them both a shot measure.

Sam watched intently, "Really?"

She looked up and nodded without saying a word. Picking up one glass she offered it to Sam, "It's medicine. I'm a doctor."

They shared an exchange of smiles before he stepped forward and took the glass from her. He gingerly took the glass up to his nose and took a whiff of the liquor as he walked around her desk.

"His name was Carl. We were married." She started to explain with a chuckle as Sam sat on the corner of her desk.

Sam sighed as she raised her glass to tap his, "So what happened?"

"Life happened." She replied, as they both took a sip of fluid. She allowed a small laugh to escape her lips at the face he pulled as the liquid went down, "I don't know. I mean, I love him. I still do I guess, but um- I don't know. It's just like one day I looked up and I was living with a stranger and-" She trailed off before shaking her head with a smile. She looked back up at Sam, "You know what I mean, right?"

"I guess. Or, I don't know, maybe." He replied with a shrug of his shoulders.

"People change. God, I know I did. But it's nothing to feel guilty about. It happens."

"So you two split up?"

"Yeah, I suppose that's a word for it."

As Cara poured herself another drink, Sam's cell phone started to ring. He took the intrusive object from his pocket and looked down at the screen to see his brother was the caller.

"You need to get that?" The doctor asked seductively causing Sam to immediately make eye contact.

"No. Not right now." He replied, rejecting the call and placing his phone down on her desk.

"Whatever." She stated, pouring him a second drink. "We've all got our own sad stories so screw it." She said placing the lid back on the bottle and putting it down beside his phone. She got to her feet, "Have fun, no regrets and live life like there's no tomorrow." She said again gently crashing her glass into the side of his. She took another sip before placing her glass on the desk and leaning in to speak softly into Sam's ear. "For instance, I have been thinking about you all night. Well, parts of you."

He smiled, "Just parts."

"Mm-hm." She hummed, moving her face closer to his. "Like your lips. They're very distracting. It's a problem." She continued as he placed his glass down, expectant of what was to follow. She removed his tie, "I can't stop thinking about kissing them."

"That so?"

She nodded slowly, "So, what the hell huh?" He smiled, giving her the go ahead.


	24. Chapter 24

**TWENTY-THREE**

By the time Sam returned to the motel it was late and there wasn't a being in sight, including Dean. He walked into the room he shared with his brother to find it cast in darkness with no signs of life. He flicked on the light and took his phone from his right inside jacket pocket before scrolling through his recent call history to find he'd missed a call from Dean, so he hit the call button as he closed the door.

"Sam. Where the hell have you been?" He asked as he drove toward the hospital.

"With Cara." He replied flippantly.

"Oh, it's Cara now? And you're not picking up your phone?"

"We were trying to find the blood samples. Someone stole them."

"Yeah, I'll bet."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked sitting on one of the beds.

"Nick found flower petals at the crime scenes. Hyacinths."

"So?" His brother came back with, bemused.

"_Hyacinths._ Mediterranean. From the island where the whole friggin' siren myth started in the first place."

"OK." He countered, still not quite understanding what Dean was getting at.

"Sam, Cara had hyacinth flowers."

Sam chuckled as he swapped his phone to his other ear, "You think Cara's the siren?"

"I did a little checking up on her. She's been in town for two months."

"Yeah, and-?"

"And she has an ex-husband. A dead ex-husband, Carl Roberts. Dropped like a stone, no warning, supposedly a heart attack."

"Well, maybe it was a heart attack."

"You kidding me?"

"I just don't think it's her."

"And what makes you so sure?"

"I don't know, a hunch."

"A hunch? I'm giving you cold, hard facts, and you're giving me _a hunch_?" He asked before silence filled the line. "Did you sleep with her?"

Sam hesitated, "No."

But Dean read into his pause, "Holy crap. You did. Middle of _Basic Instinct _and you bang Sharon Stone. Sam, you could be under her spell right now."

"Dude, I'm not under her spell." He said looking up at the ceiling.

"Unbelievable man, I just don't get it."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"No, say it." The youngest brother insisted.

"No, it's just-. First, it's Madison and then Ruby and now Cara. It's like what is with you and banging monsters?"

"Look Dean, I'm telling you, it's not Cara. I feel fine."

"I'll bet you do." He countered not disbelieving him.

"You don't trust me?" He asked with a frown.

"No, because this could be the siren talking."

"Look, just tell me where you are. I'll come meet you and we'll figure things out."

"No."

"You serious?"

"I wish I weren't. I gotta handle this Sam. By myself."

Sam got to his feet as he hung up his phone and threw it across the room at the wall before looking at his reflection in a nearby mirror.

= X =

Dean hung up with his brother and immediately speed dialled Bobby, but when he didn't answer he was forced to leave a message.

"Sam's in trouble, Bobby. I think the siren's worked her mojo on him. Give me a call as soon as you get this." He said.

Again he hung up before instantly dialling the number he had for Nick Munroe.

"Hey man, what's up?" He greeted his call.

"I need your help." Dean stated getting right to the point.

"Uh, sure. With what?"

"Canvassing. We gotta find somebody."

= X =

Christina searched the glove box for the ringing phone as her father drove toward Iowa, "You know this wouldn't be as hard if you cleaned this hunk of junk out once in a while."

"Hey, that's no way to talk about a classic car." He stated.

She laughed, "It's a rust bucket dad. It should be scrapped."

Bobby reached forward and stroked the dash, "Don't listen to her baby."

Christina shook her head with a rye smile as she finally found the object of her search and it stopped ringing, "Ah, great." She sighed. But as she cursed in her mind, a tone sounded out to notify a voice mail. She instantly flipped it open and put it to her ear, "It's Dean. He says that Sam's under the siren's spell, he wants you to call him." She relayed the message. "Shall I give him a call back?"

"No point Princess, we're on the home stretch."

= X =

Sam had been out around town looking for his brother but had turned up – back at the motel – empty handed. Walking into the room where he'd lay his head for the night, he was surprised to see Nick Munroe waiting for him.

"Nick, what are you doing here?" He barely had a chance to ask before the door was slammed shut and he was grabbed around the throat from behind by Dean.

Sam instantly thought about fighting against the throttle hold his brother had on him, but the seven inch blade he had against his jugular gave him reason for pause. "Dean." His name passed his lips automatically as Nick stood up and walked toward him. "I gotta tell you, you're one butt ugly stripper." Sam antagonised him.

But Nick remained calm, "Well, maybe. But I got exactly what I wanted. I got Dean."

"Dean. Come on, man. This isn't you." He tried to reason with his older sibling as he struggled against his hold. "You can fight this. Let me go."

The siren moved to stand to the right of the man with the knife. "Why don't you cut him? Just a little, on his neck, right there?" He instructed in a quiet voice. Sam moaned as his brother followed instructions and nicked his neck with the blade. "Dean's all mine." Nick gloated as he moved to stand in front of him.

"You poisoned him." Sam spat back.

"No, I gave him what he needed. And it wasn't some bitch in a G-string. It was you. A little brother that looked up to him, that he could trust. And now he loves me. He'd do anything for me. And I gotta tell you Sam, that kind of devotion – watching someone kill for you – it's the best feeling in the world."

"That's why you're slutting all over town?"

"Um… I get bored, like we all do and I wanna fall in love again and again and again."

"I tell you what, I have fought some nasty sons of bitches but you are one needy, pathetic loser."

"You won't feel that way in a minute." Nick said grabbing the sides of Sam's lips with one hand and forcing him to open his mouth with a squeeze of his fingers before squirting his saliva inside.

He choked and spat, hoping it would break any affect he'd tried to have on him but as Nick encouraged Dean to release him, he realised it was too late. A beckon with his finger was enough to make the youngest brother walk toward him.

"So I know you two have a lot you wanna get off your chests. So why don't you discuss it and whoever survives can be with me forever." The siren gleefully explained.

Sam turned to face his big brother in an aggressive way, but Dean was the first to speak. "Well, I don't know when it happened, maybe when I was in Hell, maybe when I was staring right at you, but the Sam I knew, he's gone." He said.

"That so?" He countered.

"And it's not the demon blood or the psychic crap. It's the little stuff. The lies. The secrets."

"Oh yeah? What secrets?"

"Your phone calls to Ruby, for one."

"So I need your say-so to make a phone call?"

"That's the point. You're hiding things from me." He stated, getting angrier by the second. "What else aren't you telling me?"

Sam smirked, "None of your business."

"See what I mean? We used to be in this together. We used to have each other's backs."

"OK, fine. You wanna know why I didn't tell you about Ruby, and how we're hunting down Lilith? Because you're too weak to go after her, Dean. You're holding me back. I'm a better hunter than you are – stronger, smarter. I can take out demons you're too scared to go near."

"That's crap."

"You're too busy sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. Whining about all the souls you tortured in Hell. Boo-hoo."

Dean had heard enough. He lunged forward; throwing the knife he held in Sam's direction. But his brother ducked causing the knife to land across the room. The younger man stood back up and threw a punch that connected with his face. Dean countered with the same, connecting to his jaw. They tussled, throwing punches back and forth until Sam knocked his brother to the ground.

"You're not standing in my way, anymore." He stated, standing over him before picking him up and laying into his face with his fist.

But Dean fought his brother's hold on him, and got out from his position against the door before taking a step back. Nick got to his feet and stood behind him. But as Sam took a step toward them, Dean lunged at him. His momentum sent them both crashing through the door as it broke from its hinges and landed beneath them. Sam groaned with the pain he experienced from being his brother's crash mat, but stayed down as Dean got up and looked down at him. He searched his surroundings and spotted an axe in a 'in case of emergency' box on the wall nearby, breaking the glass with his right elbow, the older man took the object and took a few steps toward where Sam writhed in pain.

"Do it." Nick encouraged as he stepped out into the corridor. "Do it for me Dean." He said moving to stand above Sam.

Dean looked down at his flesh and blood, "Tell me again how weak I am Sam, huh? How I hold you back." He spat out before swinging the axe.

Bobby came out of nowhere and grabbed the handle of the instrument before the oldest Winchester could do something he'd regret, and took it from Dean. Christina used the distraction to stab him in the right shoulder causing him to call out in pain as Nick took off down the corridor to make his escape. But her reflexes were fast, and she threw the dagger after him. He stopped dead in his tracks as the blade pierced his back and he dropped to the floor.

= X =

"Well, that was uncomfortable." Dean commented as Christina cleaned up the wounds on his face once he'd regained normality.

She smiled, "It's not a big deal unless you make it a big deal."

"Then how come I feel dirty?"

"Stop being a baby." She said leaning in to kiss him gently.

"Hmm, I feel a bit better already."

"Oh yeah?" She asked kissing him again.

"Oh yeah, I'm feeling better by the second."

"Then you won't need me to do this anymore." She said turning to walk away.

But Dean pulled her back, "Hey, where you going?" He asked rhetorically pulling her closer and kissing her again.

"I was going to check on Sam." She retorted as they pulled apart.

"He'll be fine; he's got Bobby looking after him." He said reaching up to her face and drawing her mouth close to his again.

She shut her eyes and concentrated on the affect his lips had on her body. She never got sick of the tingling sensation that rippled from their connection down to the tip of her toes. She gasped as his hands travelled from her hips up her back and pulled her even closer so she could feel the beating of his heart in his chest. Things were as perfect as they were ever likely to be for them and that was enough for her. She was actually happy so she couldn't help but expect the other shoe to drop. Until it did, she was going to soak up all the happiness she could.

= X =

Sam flinched as he sat on one of the beds in Bobby's room while the older man put some alcohol on his cuts and handed him some band aids.

"I gotta go talk to him." He said trying to muster up the courage.

"Don't think that's a good idea, least not tonight." Bobby said grabbing his beer from the bedside table.

"I need to put things right."

"You know your brother Sam; he won't be in the mood to talk yet. It can wait until tomorrow. Besides, I think CJ is all the distraction he needs right now – and they may not thank you for busting in on them, if you know what I mean."

Silence fell between them momentarily. "I didn't mean it."

"I know son."

He sighed, "Do you think Dean will?"

"Why wouldn't he?"

"I said some horrible things."

"That wasn't your fault, he knows that."

"I hope so Bobby, I hope so."

= X =

Christina lay in bed – her head resting on Dean's chest – listening to his breathing, slow and steady. He hadn't spoken since they'd made love, and he hadn't slept either. She knew what was playing on his mind; she could practically hear his confrontation with his brother going over and over in his head. She knew he needed to talk about it, but she knew she could be inciting a fight.

With a deep breath for courage, she lifted her head and looked up at him. "What's going on up there?" She asked instigating the conversation as she ran her fingers through the hair above his ear.

He shifted his eyes to connect with hers, "Nothing."

She lowered her chin to his chest, "He didn't mean it you know."

"Oh, he meant it."

"Then you should talk to him." She countered softly.

She felt his hand move up from the small of her back to the nape of her neck and had to suck back the sensation it created before she gave in to being the distraction he wanted.

"I can't. The things he said…"

"Were the sirens fault."

"You weren't there; you didn't see the look in his eyes." He said softly. "He meant every word he said."

"You don't know that for sure."

"I do, because I meant everything I said."

She was stunned by his confession, but – despite her hesitance – kept her soft tone, "Then you should definitely talk to him."

He sighed and ran his hand back down to the small of her back, "I will – tomorrow. Tonight I want to lie here with you in my arms and forget the world outside this room exists."

She rested her head back down to its original position, knowing that was Dean's way of shutting up shop on the topic. She knew she'd get nowhere if she persisted and pushed him into something he wasn't ready for, so she'd allow him the night to sleep on it, but she would use what little influence she had the next morning. For tonight, she would serve as the distraction he would undoubtedly use her as. But after a moments silence, Dean suddenly shifted causing her to fall back on the mattress.

"Actually, do you want to go out? Get some dinner?" He asked, looking down at her from his elevated support on one elbow.

Her brow furrowed slightly, "Dinner?"

"Yeah, like a date."

"A date?" She repeated taken back by his suggestion. "Where did that come from?"

"It was just something Sam suggested once."

"Why would he suggest that?"

"He thinks we need more than… sex… to base our relationship on and I think he's right."

She reached up to place her hand on the side of his face and smiled, "I would love that. But are you sure?"

He smiled back at her and he lowered his lips to kiss her, "I'm sure." He said pulling away and climbing from the bed. "We should probably get dressed first though."

"Now? You want to go on a date now?" She asked holding the sheet to her chest as she sat up.

He stopped getting dressed and looked back at her, "Yes because I can't wait to make this real between us."

She shifted to climb to her knees and edge toward him. When she got close, she reached up to wrap her arms around his neck to encourage his face closer to hers. "It's already real Dean."

"But a date would make it about more than sex."

She smiled and placed a kiss to his lips, "Then I guess I'm getting dressed."

= _A While Later_ =

Christina walked out the bathroom putting the second of her earrings in her ear. She wasn't exactly dressed for a fancy restaurant, having not brought any of her dressier outfits with her, but Dean had caught her off guard. So her best black jeans and the red tank top she'd packed for the drive home was going to have to do; besides she had no idea where they were going. But if she knew Dean, it wouldn't be anywhere too high end.

She threw a look around the room as she sat down on the edge of her side of the bed and slipped on her heeled boots to find she was alone and a slight frown creased her brow. Her roommate had seemingly disappeared into thin air, and he'd been there before she went in the shower. After zipping up her boots she picked up her cell phone from the bedside table to call him when the door knocked, so she moved to answer it. Little did she know what was awaiting her on the other side.

Pulling open the divide she came face to face with Dean. He was holding a single tulip, which had obviously been removed from a garden not far away, and wearing his best smile.

It made her smile involuntarily, "What are you doing?"

"I'm here to pick you up for our date." He said offering her the flower he held.

She took it from his grasp with a small laugh, "You're really into this aren't you?"

He stepped up to her and took her in his arms, "Of course I am, because you're worth the effort." He said laying a gentle kiss to her lips.

= X =

The smile was still plastered on Christina's face as Dean led her out onto the street hand in hand. This was all new for them, but she liked the idea of it. She had longed for the days when they could be a normal couple, and – although he was still a hunter – this was her insight into their future. She had expected the Impala to take them to where they were going, but she was pleasantly surprised when they headed out on foot. Public displays of affection were definitely something she could get used to. There was something about walking down the street holding the hand of the man she loved that made her walk taller, with her shoulders back and her head held high. She was proud to be with him, and she could tell by his face that the feeling was mutual.

She looked across to make eye contact with him, soaking in the satisfaction of the moment, "I'm perfect."

Her response made him smile, "Then I must be doing something right."

She squeezed his hand, silently confirming her approval, "So, where are we going?"

"Just a little place I found."

When they arrived at the quaint little restaurant and walked inside, Christina noticed that there were only a few customers dotted around on the tables. Mostly they were alone, but she did spot one couple near the door – although they weren't really interacting. They seemed to be roughly the same age as her and Dean, and she assumed from their lack of interest in each other that they'd been together a long time or that dinner here was a regular thing for them.

"Can I help you?" The hostess behind the podium asked from her station just inside the door.

"We have a reservation at 9 o'clock for Winchester."

She smiled, marking the name off the register, "If you'd like to follow me, I'll show you to your table." She said starting on her way through the restaurant to a secluded table at the back of the room.

It was obvious that by day the place was a diner, the red cushioned pod seating around the interior walls said as much. But Christina imagined it looked different when not lit up by the soft wall sconces against the dark backdrop of the outside. It was intimate and private, perfect for the date she hadn't expected and – although it wasn't the setting she dreamed of when she'd imagined going down this road with Dean – it was somehow better.

"Your waitress will be right over." The hostess said, gesturing to their table.

"Thank you." The couple said in unison as they both removed their jackets and slipped into the half moon booth.

"Enjoy your evening." She said leaving them alone.

Christina smiled across at her date, "How did you find this place?"

"It was the first place I came across while you were taking a shower."

"I like it."

"Good." He said smiling back.

But their small talk was interrupted when a woman appeared in front of them seemingly from nowhere, "Hello. I'm Ginny; I'll be your waitress this evening. Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

"Not yet."

"Then can I get you something to drink in the meantime?"

"I'll take a beer." Dean replied.

"And I'll have a jack and coke." Christina answered.

"OK, I'll be right back."

As the waitress left, Dean shimmied around the booth toward his date causing her to smile involuntarily, "What are you doing?"

"I'm getting closer." He retorted. "You're too far away."

= X =

Sam grabbed the remote for the TV and shut it off. His encounter with his brother was still playing over in his head and numbing it with mindless TV wasn't working. He threw a look to the bathroom door, where Bobby was taking a shower and hesitated before he grabbed his jacket from his bed and got to his feet. He was all but out the door when he heard the bathroom door open.

"Hey, where are you going?" Bobby asked walking out of the small adjoining room rubbing his wet hair with a towel.

He sighed, frustrated that he hadn't been able to get away clean, "I'm going to fins Dean." He answered honestly.

The older man shook his head, "You know that's not a good idea so why are you intent on setting it straight tonight?"

"I gotta do something Bobby; I'm going crazy sitting around here."

He tilted his head to the side and exhaled hard, "Alright, but don't say I didn't warn you when he shoots you down."

Taking his sentence as approval, Sam exited the room without looking back. He'd feel a lot better if he tried to talk it out with Dean – even if he failed.

= X =

Throughout dinner Christina's smile was a permanent fixture on her features as they talking about things that didn't really matter. They knew each other so well that what few silences there were weren't awkward and topics of conversation were relatively easy to come by because they'd done this dance plenty of times in the past. The only difference this time was that it was a date and Christina felt the label of it looming over their heads like an arrow – still, there were no expectations from either of them.

She was happy, and even if this was the only date her and Dean ever went on, she didn't need anything more from him to prove his feelings for her. Tonight was proof enough. The fact that he was willing to try some kind of normalcy – if only for one night – was enough for her.

Her smile didn't go unnoticed by Dean as he reached for her hand, "Do you want dessert?" He asked affectionately stroking the back of her hand with his thumb.

"How about we get it to go?" She asked just above a whisper as she leaned closer to him and gently pressed her mouth to his.

= X =

Sam walked down the street, having dropped by Dean's room first and getting no answer. He didn't want to go back to the room and sit doing nothing so had opted to take a walk and get some air instead. But as he made his way down the main street he glanced inside a nearby window only to find Dean and Christina sat inside. He thought about going inside and having it out with his brother but decided against it when he saw them lock lips.

A wry smile formed on his lips, they both looked happy, and he liked to think he'd had something to do with it, having been the one to suggest a date to his brother. But he was relieved to see he'd taken his advice, even if it had come off the back of their confrontation. Maybe if Dean was open to his suggestion of a date, he would be willing to listen to him when he approached the subject of the things he'd said under the sirens influence. For now, he would let him have the night with the woman he loved. It was probably exactly what he needed.

= X =

Christina smiled as her and Dean headed down the corridor toward their hotel room hand in hand. The whole evening had exceeded her expectations. Her date had given her his undivided attention; turning off his phone so they weren't disturbed and she was grateful – even though it was a luxury she wasn't used to. She knew it wouldn't last. Still it had been nice to be a normal couple, if only for one night.

Stopping outside the door, she reached for the key but she hesitated when he wrapped his arms around her waist and nestled his chin lightly on her shoulder.

"You have a good time tonight?" He asked, his breath brushing her skin causing euphoria to ripple throughout her body.

She turned in his arms and snaked her arms up around his neck, "Can't you tell?"

"I want to hear you say it." He whispered, lowering his head to plant an inviting kiss on her lips.

"I had a great night." She said allowing him to kiss her again.

"Well, it isn't over yet." He said reaching into her pocket and taking out the key to their room.

Still kissing her, he fumbled with the lock and eventually gained access. He pushed the door open and eased her backward until they were inside the room before balancing on one foot and kicking it shut with his other. They danced in circles until they found the bed. Christina could feel the mattress pressed against the back of her knees as he continued to kiss her passionately and then, he eased her down upon it.

= X =

The morning sunlight shone directly onto Christina's face, through an opening where the curtains didn't meet, waking her from her slumber. Her eyes flickered open with a groan at the brightness and she turned away from it. But as her head rested back down on the pillow and she covered her naked shoulder with the sheets, her eyes caught a glimpse of the man lying beside her. Begrudgingly, she forced her eyes open a little bit more to find he was looking back.

"Morning beautiful." He said softly, so as not to force her awake sooner than she was ready.

A smile met her lips instantly, "You're cheerful this morning."

His mouth curved into a smile of his own, "I like waking up to you."

Her eyes opened fully and took in the sight of him, propped up on one elbow in front of her, "Well you can do that anytime you want to."

"Do you want breakfast?" He asked, making a move to get out of bed.

But she grabbed for his arm to stop him. "I'm not awake yet." She said, forcing him back down to the mattress and shifting to rest her head upon his chest.

He laughed, "I told Bobby we'd be on the road in half hour."

She groaned in protest and lifted her head to look at him, "Then you have your work cut out for you."

"Oh yeah, why's that?"

She moved to place her lips on his naked chest, "Because I need waking up and even your quickies are longer than that."

Grabbing her beneath her arms, he pulled her up his body so that his lips were millimetres from hers and – without warning – he threw her onto her side of the bed. Landing on top of her, his mouth found hers effortlessly. He would get breakfast on the road.

= X =

As Dean walked out of the bathroom showered and ready for the day, Christina climbed from beneath the sheets of the bed and a smile of appreciation crept to his lips. She turned around as she slipped on a robe to see him keeping a watchful eye on her and she chuckled.

"I love the way you look at me like it's the first time you've seen me naked." She said securing the robe around her waist.

"Because you're beautiful." He said walking around the bed to pull her closer for a kiss.

She smiled again as their lips parted, "I gotta say, I like this new side of you."

"Well don't get used to it, I'm not sure how long I can keep it up."

She giggled at the suggestive innuendo of his sentence and snaked her arms up around his neck, "From experience I know you've got stamina."

He gave her a long tentative kiss before he eased their lips apart, "How about I go and get us some breakfast while you take a shower?"

"Sure, and I'll meet you at the car in twenty." She replied pressing her mouth to his one more time before they parted.

Dean headed to the door, but as he reached for the handle he turned back to her, "CJ…"

"Yeah?" She asked looking over at him.

"I love you."

A smile instantly presented itself where his lips had been a minute before, "I love you too."

= X =

Bobby took three bottles from the trunk of his car and handed Dean and Sam one.

"Soda?" The eldest Winchester asked looking at the object in his hand.

"You boys are driving, ain't you?" He asked taking a swig. "CJ?"

"Taking a shower." Dean replied as he and Sam simultaneously twisted off the cap of their drinks and took a sip.

"Thanks Bobby. You know, you - - You hadn't shown up when you did - -." Sam trailed off unable to bring himself to complete his sentence.

"Done the same for me, more than once." Bobby finished for him, "Course you could have picked up the phone. Only took one call to figure out that Agent Nick Monroe wasn't real."

Dean's expression said how stupid he felt as he took another drink.

= X =

Stepping out of the shower, Christina wrapped a towel around her body as she made her way toward the large mirror on the opposite wall – above the washbasin – that was clouded with steam from the hot water and wiped her hand over it to clear a way to see her reflection. She could see how happy she was by the events of the past twelve hours by examining the face looking back at her.

Reaching for her hairbrush she caught the reflection of her chest in the mirror and the scars there brought her elated mood to an end with a thud. The permanent surface reminder wasn't exactly invisible but they had faded a little over time.

Alastair was still with her every time she caught sight of her scars, although she'd managed to suppress him of late. She didn't feel like she had to completely cover them in order to hide from him, instead she'd accepted them as part of her. No longer did they represent the night she'd almost died, instead she saw them as her victory over Alastair.

She sucked up her emotion and continued to prepare for her return home. Drying herself off, she slipped into the jeans and t-shirt she'd been wearing the day before and walked out of the bathroom. But as she did, she was grabbed from behind and instinctively she started to fight against the restraint, except she lost the battle the instant she felt a prick in her neck just beneath her ear. Instantaneously she felt weak and she dropped to the floor unable to hold herself up. In her semi-conscious state she couldn't make out the blurred figure now standing over her but her sense of smell wasn't impaired, and his smell was unmistakable. It was Alastair. She prayed for Dean to return to the room as everything went black.

= X =

Bobby allowed the awkward silence between the Winchesters a minute before he spoke, "You boys gonna be OK?"

"Yeah, fine." Came Sam's reply coinciding with Dean's response of, "Yeah, good."

"I better go and light a fire under CJ." He said taking a few steps toward the motel before he hesitated and turned back to the brothers, "You know, sirens are nasty things. That it got to you, that's no reason to feel bad."

Sam lifted his bottle in the older man's direction to acknowledge what he'd said before Bobby continued on his way.

"You gonna say goodbye to Cara?" Dean asked looking out over the water.

"Nah, not interested." Sam replied sniffing and dropping his daze to the ground.

Dean's eyes dropped to the floor beneath his feet, "Really? Why not?"

He looked up over the water, "What's the point?"

His brother looked over at him, "Well, look at you, love them and leave them."

He sighed as Dean's gaze went back to the ground, "Dean, look, you know I didn't mean the things I said back there, right? That it was just the siren's spell talking."

He looked up from the dirt beneath his feet but didn't make eye contact with his brother, "Of course. Me too." He lied.

"OK. So - - so we're good?"

The eldest sibling took a deep breath, "Yeah, we're good." He replied having another drink.

Suddenly Bobby came back into their line of vision, "Guys, CJ's gone."

Dean frowned and pushed himself up off the car, "Gone where?"

"I just went by the room, the door was wide open and there's no sign of her."

He pulled his phone from his pocket and hit her number on his speed dial before he put it up to his ear. A minute later he removed it and ended the call. "It's going straight to voicemail."

"Was she OK when you left her?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, she said she'd meet me out by the car."

"I don't think she just up and left, it looks like there was a struggle."

"Who the hell would take her?"


	25. Chapter 25

**TWENTY-FOUR**

Christina groaned as she opened her eyes, she felt like she'd been hit by a truck. Her head pounded like she was coming down from something. Maybe she was, she couldn't remember. She attempted to move, but her wrists and ankles were bound with rope to whatever she was lying on.

Lifting her head she looked around the room she occupied, only to find she was closed in by bare brick walls. She struggled to free her wrists - she couldn't. She was bound tight. Now would be the perfect time for super strength. But she was merely flesh and bone.

As she slowly began to regain her strength, she struggled harder against her restrains - to no avail. She was not getting out of this. She lost her cool, and thrashed against the hard surface she lay on, screaming out as she did to anyone who would hear her. That's when he stepped out of the shadows the dark corners provided. Skulking. Watching his prey like a wild animal, waiting to strike.

"That isn't going to do you any good grasshopper."

She immediately smiled, "I knew it was you."

His brow furrowed, "I doubt that."

"Look at the complete lack of surprise on my face Alastair and tell me I'm lying."

He studied her features as though searching for a clue that she was bluffing but didn't find any. But he quickly dismissed her attempt to throw him off his game and walked around the contraption she was restricted to, "Do you know you're pregnant?" He asked. "I assume that's a Winchester too."

She tried not to react to his question but she couldn't stop the small gasp that escaped past her lips or the tears that formed in her eyes. "Why am I here?" She asked in a whisper.

"We're old friends; I thought it'd be nice for us to catch up."

"If we're such old friends, why am I tied up?"

"Because… you can't always be trusted to play nice."

She laughed then, a tight laugh etched with a sprinkle of fear, "You and I both know that the only reason you tied me down is because I can take you."

He leaned in closer to her ear, "Nice try grasshopper, but did you really think it would be that easy to get free?" He paused. "By the way, you should know that your death is the push that puts your son firmly on our side."

She gritted her teeth, "Dean won't let that happen."

"But Dean will be too busy hunting me to notice he even _has_ a son."

"Go ahead, kill me if it'll make you feel better, but my son will _never _join you."

= X =

Dean paced back and forth in the room he'd left Christina in, wearing tracks in the carpet. "Who would be able to get close enough to her in order to take her?" He asked out-loud the question that had been rolling around his head since they'd found Christina missing.

Suddenly, like a light had been turned on, Sam had it. "Alastair."

Dean stopped pacing and frowned at his brother, "Why?"

He shrugged, "He tried killing her before, maybe he wants to finish the job."

"But he could've done that when she had no memories. Why has he waited until now?"

"Maybe she has something he wants."

Panic immediately struck him in his heart, "DJ." He said grabbing Christina's cell phone off the table and scrolling through it for the number he was looking for. Hitting the call button, he placed the phone by his ear, "Uh hey, this is Dean Winchester, DJ's father. Is my son still with you?"

"Yes. Is everything OK?" Lynda asked down the line.

"Yeah, we've just got a bit of a situation. Would you mind keeping DJ for a few days until I can get back there to pick him up?"

"Sure, not a problem."

"Great, thank you – and listen, don't give him to anyone but me, even if it's CJ."

He could hear her brow furrow, "What? Why?"

"I really don't have time to explain right now but would you just do this for me please and I'll fill you in when I fetch him."

= X =

Alastair balled up his fist and drove it into her jaw for the fourth time, "Where's your son?"

Christina gathered the blood that had collected in her mouth and spat it into his face, "I will never tell you."

"Oh you will. It's just a matter of how much pain you can withstand." He said picking up a surgical scalpel and toying with the blade, "Where is he?"

"The angels hid him from you for a reason and I will die before I tell you."

"That can be arranged."

She gritted her teeth and looked him in the eye, "Then get it over with."

He raised his eyebrows, "If you insist." He said laying two fingers to her forehead causing her eyes to roll back in her head.

The images started to play out like they were happening in real-time. She was stood in the house with Sam, Dean and Ruby… but Ruby wasn't Ruby, she was Lilith. She witnessed as Dean was restricted to the table by an invisible force. Suddenly she knew where she was. This was the night Dean had been taken to Hell. She watched as Lilith opened the double doors announcing, "Sick 'em boy." And she tried to close her eyes, but it was like her eyelids were glued open.

The Hellhound bound at Dean, grabbed him by the legs and pulled him down to the floor. He screamed as its claws began to rip into his skin and a sob built in her throat. She couldn't move to stop it as Dean struggled on the floor to break away from the demonic canine. He was going to Hell, and these were his last moments on earth. The hound ripped into him again and forced a scream from his mouth as the excruciating pain took a hold. The tears flowed down her cheeks. She hadn't had to see what had happened to him at the time he'd actually been dragged to Hell, imagining the pain he'd gone through had been enough, but now she was forced to observe.

She continued to helplessly standby as Dean was flipped over onto his back and ripped apart by the invisible beast. When he started to choke on his own blood the sob escaped past her lips and once she'd seen him take his last breath, she was taken back to the beginning again.

= X =

"Castiel!" Dean shouted alarming the two men in the room with him.

Just as suddenly the angel appeared, "You yelled."

"Alastair has CJ. We need you to find her."

He hesitated, "I'm not a GPS tracker."

Dean rolled his eyes, "Just find her Cas. We need to get her back."

Without fighting the losing battle he was sure to face, the angel disappeared only to reappear a minute later, "I can't see her."

The older Winchester frowned, "Where did you look?"

"Everywhere." He responded flatly.

"You were gone for a minute." He stated. "You searched everywhere in a minute?"

"Yes." He reaffirmed.

"Well can't you do some angel mojo and get through whatever Alastair has put around them?"

"No."

He hesitated, "Just, no."

"Demons have their magic and we have ours, it's our protection. How much good would it be if our enemy could get through it?"

= X =

The scene kept playing out in front of her. She was frozen to the spot, unable to move, unable to cover her eyes, unable to stop it. Every time the scene reset, her heart gave out a little bit more. It was enough to drive anyone crazy, to watch the one person that gave their life meaning, die over and over. But she had to force herself to be strong and not give in to Alastair's demands. She had to stay strong to keep her son safe.

Alastair watched her twitch as the images he'd forced into her subconscious played out. "A few more days of this and she'll give up her sons location with ease. She can't bare to see her beloved Dean being ripped up over and over for too long before it all gets too much for her."

= X =

Sam rubbed his brow as Dean continued to pace back and forth in the room they'd found Christina missing from. He hadn't been able to sit still since they'd discovered her missing and it was beginning to eat away at his last nerve. He was just as worried about her as his brother, but he contained it better.

"Dean, you're not helping." He said drawing everyone's attention in the tension filled room.

"You think I don't know that Sam? But I don't know what to do here." He admitted. "If Castiel can't find her, where the hell do _we_ start?"

Sam sighed, "I hate to say it but I think we need to call Ruby."

His older brother stopped in his tracks and stared at him, "Ruby?"

"Like it or not I think she's our only option right now."

"And how do you figure that?"

"She's a demon, if anyone'll know how to find Alastair, it's her."

He hesitated to think over his brother's reasoning but found himself dismissing it instantly, "I'm not asking that demonic bitch for help."

"Not even for CJ Dean?"

He took a deep breath and reconsidered his decision, "Alright… call her."

Sam didn't need telling twice, jumping up he retrieved his phone from his back pocket and dialled her number, but after a few rings it directed him to her voicemail. He disconnected the call and hit redial. The same thing happened. "Damn it Ruby, now is not the time to ignore your phone."

Dean looked over at him, "You're telling me after all your talk of trusting her she's gone radio silent on us?"

"She probably just hasn't heard her phone." He said repeating his actions. But when the call redirected him a third time he hung up with a sigh. "She'll call me back when she sees the missed calls."

"I won't hold my breath and I'm not sitting around here waiting for her to come back, pack up your shit and meet me at the car." He said to his brother as he grabbed his jacket off the back of one of the chairs and exited the room.

= X =

"So, where are we going?" Sam asked as he got in the passengers side of the Impala.

"I called Bobby, he's driving around to see if anyone's seen her so we're going to get DJ." He replied.

But Sam frowned, "Why?"

"Because if Alastair took CJ, he's after DJ."

"So being away from us is probably the best way to keep him safe."

It was Dean's turn to frown, "How d'you figure that?"

"The angels hid him from the demons, if he's with us and they find us, they find DJ. He's safer where he is for now."

"Huh? Don't get used to this Sammy, but I think you're right." He said starting the engine.

= X =

It had been a week since Christina had been taken from the motel in Bedford, Iowa and Dean hadn't stopped searching for her since but he was fast running out of ideas of how to find her and so they'd hauled up at Bobby's. Ruby hadn't got back to them yet – _leaving Sam hanging is probably her idea of foreplay, _he thought as he lowered the paper he'd be distracting himself with into his lap.

If there was one thing he knew about Alastair it was that torture was his speciality and he would give Christina the best of his ability. He knew he had to find her sooner than later or there might not be much of her left to find.

= X =

Christina was scared, she didn't want to be because fear left you wide open to all sorts of stuff, but she couldn't switch it off. Every time Alastair pulled her out of the rerunning torture her resolve weakened a fraction and she had to imagine DJ's face in order to remain strong. If Alastair wanted her son he would not get the information of his whereabouts from her.

Suddenly the images stopped and she was back in the room with Alastair, "Tell me where your son is." He demanded giving her a second to regain clarity from the images he'd been torturing her with.

She tried to catch her breath from the pain he'd inflicted on her, "Alastair… let me… save you… some time. You better kill me, because I will… never… tell you."

He looked confident – cocky even – as he stood over her, "Then you leave me no choice." He countered before another demon in a meat suit stepped out from the shadows, "It's time. Do it." He instructed before walking out of the room.

= X =

Suddenly Sam's cell phone started ringing and it generated enough energy in Dean for him to jump out of his seat, hoping it was Ruby. It was – and his shoulders relaxed in relief, though he didn't know it.

"Ruby, where have you been?" His brother asked. He couldn't hear her response but he guessed it was vague. "Can you come to Bobby's?" Again, he couldn't hear her counter, but he guessed she'd agreed when Sam hung up. "She'll be here soon." He set his brothers mind at ease.

= X =

Christina was disorientated as she stumbled around the room, "What did you do to me?" She asked.

She knew Alastair was in the room with her, she could smell the stench circulating in the air. She knew he was close even though she couldn't see him. Whatever he had drugged her with was enough to impair her vision and make her unsteady on her feet. But at least now she was free from her restraints. If only she could get her shit together enough to rip Alastair a new one, then she could get back to her son.

"I just gave you a little something to make you more co-operative." His steady low voice bounced off the surrounding walls.

She felt her way along the brick wall that supported her poorly in her attempt to shake off whatever was happening to her, she wasn't sure if she was trying to escape or just moving to prove she still could. She felt like she was losing the battle of upright movement and she hated the feeling of being out of control.

"Stop fighting it, give in to it and you'll feel right as rain in no time at all." His slithery voice crept up her spine making her shudder.

= X =

Sam opened the back door to find Ruby stood the other side, "Hey, thanks for coming." He said stepping aside, silently giving her permission to enter.

Walking through the door she took in the faces around the room and instantly knew she'd been called as a last measure and not a booty call, "What do you want?" She asked, saving any attempt at small talk.

He glanced at Dean before returning his eyes to hers, "We need your help to find Alastair."

She frowned, "Alastair. Why?"

But Dean's patience had run out. He'd already been put in the position of asking her for help against his better judgement; he wasn't going to pander to her twenty questions too. "He's got CJ. Can you help or not?"

She shifted her weight to one side and folded her arms across her chest, "If you want my help I'm sure you can ask nicer than that."

"I don't need your help that bad." He said throwing his hand up in the air and spinning on his heel to walk away from her.

"Dean." Sam said, silently reminding him that she was their only option.

"To Hell with her Sam. For all I know this bitch is working _with_ Alastair, so if she wants me to beg for her help she's got a shock coming, it's not going to happen. I'll find CJ with or without her help, and when I'm done getting her back I'll hunt this demonic honey trap down and send her back to the hot box with a smile on my face."

Sam sighed; he hated being in the middle of the ongoing battle between Dean and Ruby. It was beginning to eat away at him. He knew Ruby was a demon, but she'd proved herself over and over in the four months Dean had been in hell and it seemed that no amount of reassurance by him was going to change his brothers' mind.

"Ruby." He pleaded with the tone of his voice as he got to his feet. "We need to find her."

= X =

She felt like she was watching herself bounce off the walls of the room Alastair had confined her to. She was shouting at herself to get it together, suck it up and kick his ass already but it was as though she couldn't be heard. She was going to die here, and no one would know where to look for her – and that would be OK if she didn't think Alastair was right when he said Dean would be too busy hunting him down to remember he had a son. She'd witnessed first hand what affect death had on her dad, so he wouldn't be reliable. The only one she could count on was Sam. He would make sure DJ was kept out of demon clutches – at least if he wasn't caught in them himself and she didn't trust Ruby one bit. No. The only one her son could count on to keep him safe was her. She had to get out of there.

She stopped moving, as though admitting defeat and allowing whatever Alastair had done to her to take a hold. It was altering her coordination skills but it didn't feel like it was going to kill her. Maybe if she didn't fight it, this would be over with and she could finally go home to her little boy. She turned her back to the wall and allowed it to guide her to the floor as she closed her eyes.

= X =

The map spontaneously combusted and just as quickly the flames died leaving only the part they needed to find Christina. After little persuasion by Sam Ruby had done a location spell for Christina and now they had a search area.

"That's where you'll find her." The demon said.

"Great, let's go." Dean said grabbing his jacket and heading out the door.

Bobby followed without any direction. "You're welcome!" Ruby shouted after them.

"Thanks." Sam said apologising for the lack of gratitude she'd received.

She nodded, "You're welcome."

They stood consumed by an awkward silence for a minute before Sam grabbed his jacket, "Anyway I better…"

"Yeah… go. But maybe when you get Christina back we could hang out or something." She suggested.

"Yeah, sure. I'll um, I'll call you." He said dismissing her as he walked out into the corridor to follow after his brother.

= X =

Christina seemed to feel her life slipping away from her as she waited for whatever it was to take a hold on her. She felt like she'd been sat on the cold concrete floor forever and nothing had changed. She could feel it travelling through her body, except she didn't know what _it _was. Her mind was jumbled, she couldn't form a rational thought among the haze that kept her down and she was weak, like she'd been drained of all her fight. She screamed out for someone to find her, but those screams were only in her head.

"Give into it." Alastair encouraged as he stood over her.

"I'm trying to." She said breathing heavily as she allowed the wall behind her back to be her support.

"Do you know what your problem is?"

She shook her head as she licked her lips, "What?"

"Your instinct is to fight – even when you tell yourself not to – but you'll feel better if you just stop."

"I don't know how to." She admitted, her breathing becoming shallow.

"Are you sure this is going to work?" A different voice in the room asked. It sounded immature, not fully developed… childlike even.

"I'm confident it will."

"We need that boy as leverage over the Winchesters."

"I'm certain they'll do anything to protect him."

"Still, we have to be prepared for every outcome."

"Understood."

"See to it that this one is put in place." The little girl's voice said, ending the conversation.

Christina heard her leave the room. It was Lilith. Even without seeing her, she knew that much. She wasn't sure what they were cooking up exactly, but she had to get out of wherever she was to warn Sam and Dean. She forced her eyes to open and her vision met with the blurry outline only Alastair could provide.

It took all her effort to force herself up onto her feet but she did it and she felt her way along the walls for a way out. She expected Alastair to stop her but he didn't. He just let her make her way out of captivity.

She stumbled out into the fresh air to feel the chill of the night on her skin but instead of refreshing her, it made her even more disorientated and she fell to the ground beneath her feet. Her landing was hard, causing her to call out in pain. She tried to move but her body wasn't willing to cooperate so she resorted to the only way she knew how to get attention.

"Help me!" She shouted into the darkness hoping she was close enough to civilization for someone to hear and come to her rescue. But her vision still wasn't clear and she couldn't hear a thing. She rolled onto her back, "Somebody, HELP ME!"

Suddenly she convulsed, like there was something inside her fighting to get out. Her mouth opened as wide as it could and black smoke poured out ferociously before her body slumped back down to the ground. She was drained, barely able to keep her eyes open much less move but the thought of her son gave her the strength to call out into the night.

= X =

"Shhh! Did you hear that?" Dean asked prompting the two men with him to stand completely still and listen for any noise.

But after a minute of hearing nothing, Sam looked across at his brother, "What?"

"Shhh!" He reiterated waving his hand in a downward motion.

"Please… someone… HELP!" The voice came again.

Bobby's eyes shot in the direction he'd interpreted it had come from, "This way." He directed.

"I think it was this way." Dean said, pointing in the opposite direction.

"Let's split up." Sam suggested gaining a nod of approval before they all separated, going their own ways.

= X =

Christina lay on her back feeling the concrete of the road beneath her and prayed to God that someone had heard her plea for help. She hadn't got the energy to call out anymore and she definitely couldn't move. She would lie here and regain what little strength she could before she attempted to move.

Alastair had got a demon to try and possess her but it hadn't worked, which made no sense given that her fear left her wide open to it – she truly thought she was going to die in that room but he'd let her go. _He probably expected me to be a black eyed bitch by now that's why, _she thought. Then it hit her – she was pregnant. Maybe her baby protected her from becoming possessed; it's the only thing that made sense. Wait until she told Dean, God he was not going to be happy that she was having another baby, even though half the blame lay with him.

She had to get home to the son she already had, "HELP!" She managed one more cry into the night.

= X =

As Dean turned the corner in the abandoned suburbia Ruby had led them to, he saw something lying in the road up ahead. His pace accelerated, whatever it was wasn't moving but it looked like a person – his person. It looked like Christina.

"CJ." He called out softly as his strides quickened to running. With his haste came panic and volume to his voice as he called out again, "CJ?"

Suddenly there was movement, "Dean?" She called back.

"Oh God, CJ." He said relieved and worried at the same time as he reached her side.

"Alastair, he tried to..." She trailed off exhausted allowing him to help her to her feet.

"It's OK. I'm here. I've got you." He assured her scooping her up in his arms as he called out to Bobby and Sam. "Guys, I found her. We're over here."

Christina nestled her head on Dean's shoulder just under his chin and instantly felt comforted. She could relax, she was safe. She was so exhausted she allowed her eyes to close, knowing she was going home. She was barely awake as Dean opened the rear passenger door of the Impala and eased her inside. But she reached for his hand in a bid to stop him leaving her and he obliged by slipping in beside her. Scooting closer to him she resumed her position – her head on his shoulder – and her eyes closed securely, she was so tired. She was semi-conscious when Dean fished inside his jean pocket for his cell phone and called Sam.

"I found her; we're back at the car." He told his brother before hanging up.

Dipping his head he looked down at her, wondering what untold horrors Alastair had put her through and he moved to put his arm around her so that her head eased to his chest. He was thankful that she appeared to still be in one piece, but if he knew anything it was that the scars Alastair left you with weren't always visible. It was obvious she was exhausted, so he allowed her to rest just grateful to have her back.

= X =

Spotting Bobby and Sam, Dean wound down the window and held his car keys out to the eldest man.

"Is she OK?" Her father asked not being able to see inside the back to make his own mind up.

Dean half nodded, "She just seems tired." He replied honestly.

Without another word Bobby got in behind the wheel while Sam got in the passengers seat. The eldest man started the engine and began their way back home before he spoke again.

"Well, is she OK?" Bobby asked glancing over his shoulder momentarily as he drove toward South Dakota.

Dean glanced down at her, "As far as I can tell." He answered, "But who knows what he did to her. We're not going to know how she is until she wakes up."

"She looks in one piece."

"Bobby, you don't know Alastair like I do. He's one sick son of a bitch and what he did to her you won't see on the surface."

She could hear the voices that filled the car as they moved toward their destination but she couldn't hear what they were saying. She could smell and feel Dean beside her, his arm secure around her and she knew he was worried about her. He had first hand knowledge of Alastair's speciality and she suspected that he didn't expect to find her alive – if at all. The images of Dean being ripped apart by Hellhounds plagued her mind and along with them came memories of what he'd endured in Hell. Ordinarily it would make it difficult to sleep but her encounter with Alastair had left her worn out.

= X =

Dean lowered Christina down to the mattress on her bed and covered her with the blanket before returning to the lounge where Bobby and Sam stood waiting for him to emerge.

"Did she budge?" Sam asked as he saw him sooner than he expected.

He shook his head as he headed to the couch and sat down, "I doubt she'll move until morning."

"Why do you think Alastair let her go?"

"No idea. But he's up to something." He replied rubbing his brow to try and remove some of the fatigue that had built up there during Christina's disappearance.

"Shall we fetch DJ?"

"Not tonight. She needs to sleep. I'll fetch him in the morning." He sighed. "I need sleep. We all need sleep." He got to his feet. "Can we pick this up tomorrow?"

"Sure, get some sleep." Sam agreed. "We'll head back to Bobby's and get our heads down."

Bobby looked at the younger man and then to his brother. "You call me the minute she wakes up."

Dean nodded, "Sure thing."


	26. Chapter 26

**TWENTY-FIVE**

Alastair played the images in her head again, but this time instead of being a spectator she was in Dean's place – being ripped apart by the hound that would ultimately drag him to Hell. She bit her lip to keep from screaming out but it was no good, as the hound tore into her chest again she screamed as loud as she could to anyone listening.

= X =

Dean shot up on the couch where he'd fallen asleep when he heard the blood curdling scream from her bedroom and ran as fast as he could to her side. He found her sat upright trying to focus on her surroundings. "Hey, it's OK. You're OK. I'm here." He said climbing beside her on her bed and wrapping his arm around her.

Instinctively she rested her head on his shoulder, "Alastair, he…"

"You're home. You're safe." He assured her, affectionately rubbing the top of her arm with his hand.

"I saw it all Dean." She said starting to sob.

"All of what?" He reluctantly asked.

"The Hellhounds tearing you up, your time in Hell, all of it. Alastair gave me an all action replay on repeat."

He frowned in the darkness, "CJ, what did he want?"

"DJ." Her answer was simple but it was dripping with anxiety and then without warning she pushed away from him, "He tried to have me possessed but it didn't work."

His frown held, "Anti-possession charm?"

"No – and no tattoo either."

"Then why didn't it work?"

She lowered her eyes to her lap as she shrugged her shoulders. She needed to be sure of the information Alastair had given her before she told him. "The demon poured out of me just before you found me."

But Dean's frown stayed, "He had got to know we'd have made sure you weren't possessed before we let you anywhere near DJ."

"Whatever he's up to, it's bad mojo Dean."

= X =

Sam walked down the long dirt road that led to Bobby's and physically relaxed when he saw Ruby waiting for him in her car. He didn't think to question where she'd acquired a vehicle from because he didn't care; he just wanted what she could give him. He was losing his power to pull demons, he could feel it fading and he needed to stay on top of his abilities if he was to defeat Lilith.

He climbed in the passengers' side of the car and flashed a smile. "Hey."

"I take it you found CJ." She stated, not really meaning it as a question.

He nodded, "Alastair let her go."

His statement made her frown, "He let her go?"

"Yeah, we got there and he'd already let her go."

"Do you think he knew you were coming?"

It was his turn to frown, "No. How could he?"

She shrugged, "It just doesn't sound like him to go through all that trouble to take her only to willingly let her go."

"He's probably got a plan but we won't know anything until she recovers. He took it out of her."

She raised her eyebrows in reaction, "Yeah, he has a way of doing that."

= X =

Christina woke up suddenly to find the room was pitch black and she was in Dean's arms. They had both fallen asleep when he'd come in to comfort her after her nightmare. Not wanting to wake him, she gently removed his arm from around her shoulders and went into the bathroom. She had been so exhausted when she got home that she hadn't had a chance to shower and she could still smell Alastair on her skin – she needed to wash him off.

Walking inside the room she closed the door to separate the two rooms before going to the tub and turning on the taps slowly so as not to disturb Dean from his slumber. When she straightened she took a deep breath. A lot had happened over the past few days and she needed to process it in the only way she knew how these days. Ordinarily she'd go hunting to work out her issues, but that had changed since becoming a mom.

Backing up until she found the closed door she slid down to the floor and rested her head back as she shut her eyes to savour each aspect of being alone. This was her moment to really feel her feelings and not suppress them. She raised her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. The scars Alastair had left on her body during their last encounter already haunted her, but he was sure to stay with her for the rest of her life after this and she had to find a way to live with it. She had to somehow pick up the pieces and find the strength to fight past it, but she wasn't going to be able to do it alone. That's when she heard his voice in her ear; _do you know you're pregnant? _And she allowed herself to indulge in the possibility. Lowering her legs back down, she allowed her hand to roam across her stomach. If truth be told, she wanted to be pregnant, she wanted DJ to have a brother or a sister and she wanted them to be a family. But the chances of Dean conforming were slim to say the least simply because he fought being a father before their son was born although she hoped he'd take to it better the second time around – if she was pregnant.

Putting the idea out of her mind, she clambered to her feet and poured some bubbles into the running water before standing over the tub and watching it slowly fill up like she was in a state of hypnosis. She could feel Alastair over her shoulder waiting to creep back into her mind the minute she let down her defences. She could still smell him surrounding her senses, praying on her fear as much as she tried to block him out.

Before her bath flowed over the side, Christina forced herself to disregard the things that haunted her and turned off the taps before shedding herself of her clothes and climbing in the almost scolding hot water. She needed to scrub herself clean, to wash away the encounter and put it behind her.

= X =

Dean struggled to open his eyes to find the bedroom was still blanketed in darkness and Christina was gone. He checked the illuminated numbers on the alarm clock to find it was only 4 am. He couldn't hear any other movement in the house but as he sat up he noticed a light coming from under the door of the en-suite. He jumped up off the bed and made his way toward the bathroom to put his ear up to the door. He couldn't hear anything, which made him immediately worried. But he didn't want to startle her so he gently rapped on the barrier between them only to get an invitation. He opened the door to find her lying in the bath.

"You OK?" He asked softly making his way inside.

She craned her neck so she could see him and forced a smile, "Yeah, I just needed to scrub myself."

"Yeah, I get that." He said closing the lid on the toilet and taking a seat.

She exhaled deeply, "I am ready for Alastair to be dead."

He raised his eyebrows, "I get that too."

She couldn't help the tears that formed in her eyes, "Why can't he just leave us alone?"

"I promise you, he won't come near you again."

She sighed and rubbed her brow, "You can't promise that."

He got to his feet and headed to her side, taking a seat on the floor beside the bath, "I promise." He said grabbing her free hand.

"I want out of this life Dean. I want to just be normal."

"Well that I can't promise."

His honesty made her smile, "What I don't get is why DJ is so important to them."

"He can stop the apocalypse."

"No he can't, he's too young. That's a smoke screen; they want him for a different reason."

"Maybe it's so they can control us."

She raised her eyebrows, "That makes more sense. They know we wouldn't sacrifice DJ so we'd give them everything they wanted."

"And what do you think they want?"

"I've been trying to wrack my brain but I have no idea."

"Then I guess we'll keep working on it."

= X =

Stepping out of the bathroom in just a towel, the cool air of the room rushed against her skin sending goose bumps up her arms. She instantly noticed there was no sign of Dean so she went looking for him. She didn't get far before she found him sat on the couch in the lounge taking in the silence of the early hour.

"You OK?" He asked seeing her propped against the wall.

"Yeah." She answered softly pushing up off her support and walking toward him.

She took a seat beside him and reached over to slip her fingers between his. They sat like that for a minute before she leaned in to place a tender kiss to his lips. He obliged with her need for comfort and kissed back. But she wasn't about to stop there, she rose slightly from her position and moved to straddle his lap.

He rested back on the couch as she climbed on top of him, keeping their lips connected. The passion rose causing the kiss to intensify. Being away from each other for a week was obvious by their need for connection. But all she wanted was to be close to him. To feel his body beneath hers, his arms wrapped around her and his lips pressed against hers were all she needed right now to feel like she was truly home. No matter what was going on in her life, he always made the craziness filter away to leave her feeling at complete ease.

She tensed for his touch as his hand reached up to the side of her neck and drew her closer. No matter how he touched her or when, it always had a profound affect on her and this time was no different. Their connection sent a spasm of yearning throughout her whole body, causing a pleasured moan to leave her mouth in between kisses.

Dean smiled. He always enjoyed the sounds she made whenever they were about to have sex and during. She had a way of inflating his ego when, if truth were told, his skills in making love were as much down to her as him. Sex with other women was never as good as with Christina. There was a way she understood him that gave them a deeper connection and at first he fought it, but he liked that about their relationship.

He placed his hand on her thigh momentarily before stroking upward toward her hips and pulling her closer. She tasted like toothpaste and smelled like strawberries, she was intoxicating. A tug on her towel and it dropped to the floor behind her leaving her naked and exposed. He planned to make her homecoming memorable and help her forget the hell Alastair had put her through.

= X =

By the time the morning came Christina had slept some, not enough to mend all her aches and pains but enough to numb some of it. She'd managed a few hours of deep slumber prior to the knock on the front door waking her and before she knew it she was dressed and sat at the small table in her kitchen eating the breakfast Dean had cooked for her.

"You OK?" He asked noticing the frown that etched her features as she took a sip from her glass of water.

"Yeah, I just…" She took a second to collect her thoughts, "When Alastair had me, he gave me some water but it didn't taste like this and I was blindfolded so I couldn't see it, but I started feeling weird after I'd drank it."

"Weird how?" Sam asked trying to put the pieces together.

"I couldn't see straight, I could barely walk and yet I felt strangely powerful."

"What did the water taste like?" Dean asked.

"It was thicker than regular water and it tasted metallic, almost copper like."

He frowned, "Like blood?"

"I don't know, maybe."

Sam's face drained of colour, he knew exactly what Alastair had done to her, but he couldn't tell them without revealing his own secret and it wasn't so easy to say aloud.

Christina frowned upon noticing the youngest Winchester's complexion. "Are you alright Sam?"

He swallowed as he nodded, "Yeah."

"Why would he make you drink blood?" Dean asked interrupting her examination of his brother's reaction.

"You got me." She shrugged.

"We'll have to tell Bobby, see if he can shed any light on it." He said taking the last gulp of his coffee and placing his cup in the sink. "Right now I gotta fetch DJ."

Christina smiled involuntary. She'd been looking forward to seeing her son since she got home, so she was relieved when Dean said he would be fetching him after breakfast. She looked up at him as he towered over her seated frame and bent at his waist to plant a kiss on her lips.

"I'll be right back." He announced leaving the room and the apartment.

She focused her attention on Sam as they were left alone, "You want to tell me what that was about?"

"What?" He asked trying to deflect her suspicions.

"C'mon Sam, don't play dumb. You looked like you'd seen your Dad's ghost when Dean suggested Alastair had made me drink blood, so tell me what you know."

He took a deep breath and exhaled just as hard, "I think he made you drink blood, but not just any blood." He inhaled again to try and pluck up the courage to allow the words out of his mouth. "I think it was demon blood."

She instantly frowned, "Demon blood. Why would he give me demon blood?"

"Maybe he thinks it will help you hone your skills."

"What skills?"

"Your visions and telekinesis."

"I haven't had a vision since I saw our future and I haven't been able to use my abilities since I came face to face with my demon sperm donor."

"Maybe he's hoping the demon blood will change that."

She took in what he'd said and then her brow slowly furrowed, "Do I ask how you know about this?"

"I'd prefer you didn't."

"Then I won't ask. But maybe you should talk to your brother about it."

"I will, when the time is right."

"I guess that's all I can ask." She said exiting the kitchen.

Walking into the open plan lounge of her apartment, she heard a key in the lock of her front door and instantly her stomach started doing somersaults. She'd missed being with her son while she'd been held captive, much more than she ever thought was possible and she was finally about to see him.

As Dean walked inside the apartment holding DJ, Christina's face lit up upon seeing him, "Hey little guy." She smiled rushing to take him from his father's arms.

But as her hands stretched out in his direction she was suddenly thrown across the open apartment into the TV causing the screen to smash as she dropped to the floor. With a groan, she moved slightly to be sure she could as Sam rushed from the kitchen to help her to her feet.

Dean frowned at their son, "Hey buddy, what are you doing? That's your mommy."

She looked across her apartment to him, "It's OK. Maybe he can smell Alastair and he felt threatened."

"He's not a bloodhound CJ."

"No, but if I can still smell him on me maybe he can." She responded brushing herself off. "I'm going to take another shower, maybe that'll get rid of the stink."

Dean frowned at his brother as he lowered DJ to the floor by his toys, "She's going to end up scrubbing off her skin at this rate."

Sam raised his eyebrows, "Can you blame her? She's been violated."

"I guess not. But she's acting like a victim and I'm not used to that."

"It's just going to take her a few days to relax, that's all."

"I hope so Sam because I don't recognise the CJ that's come back to us."

= X =

Christina stood beneath the shower with her eyes closed and took a few deep breaths. Since she'd woken that morning she'd felt nauseous but she didn't know if it was psychological because she knew she could be pregnant or whether it was actually a side effect of actual pregnancy. A wave of dizziness forced her to reach out and support herself on the tiled wall in front of her as she breathed in through her mouth and out through her nose. To try and distract her body from what it was feeling, she grabbed the shower gel and squeezed a measure of it onto a sponge before scrubbing her skin with it. She hadn't been able to get the feel of Alastair off her skin since she'd been back, but she assumed that was to be expected given that she had only been home long enough to recharge her batteries. She hoped that she'd snap out of it soon.

= X =

By the time Christina emerged from her bedroom, Dean was feeding DJ his dinner and Sam was nowhere in sight. But when she appeared, she seemed to bolt toward the door as she pulled on her jacket.

"I'll be back in a bit." She said taking her keys from the hook they hung on.

"Woah, where you going?" Dean asked placing the plastic spoon in the bowl he held and standing.

"Store."

"Why?"

"I need to get some things."

"Well, give me a list and I'll go."

"No, I'll go."

He frowned, "You've just got home. Let me go."

"Dean, I need… lady products." She said aiming to make him uneasy so he'd decline his offer. She needed a pregnancy test to know for sure what Alastair had told her was true before she told him anything.

His face contorted uncomfortably immediately, "Yeah, that is… that's all you."

She nodded with relief, "I'll be back in a bit."

Dean looked at his son as she closed the front door, "Looks like it's just us then buddy."

= X =

As Christina stepped out onto the street she took a deep breath to fill her lungs with fresh air. She stuffed her hands in her pockets and made her way toward the pharmacy around the corner. She'd needed to find out sooner rather than later whether she was having a baby for the sake of her sanity. She couldn't stop thinking about it, wondering if she was, so the only way to stop it was to do a test in order for her to know one way or the other. She was trapped in her own world when she heard the faint call of her name but as the voice got louder, she snapped out of it and came face to face with Lynda.

"Oh hey, how are you?" She asked forcing a smile.

"I'm good. How about you?" She countered.

She nodded to try and enforce her answer, "I'm OK."

"So, where have you been?"

She frowned, "What?"

"Well, Dean called and asked me to hold on to DJ for a few days so I assumed you two had a romantic rendezvous or something."

"Oh no." She said shaking her head. "I just had to help them out with a job."

Lynda frowned, "Are you sure you're OK? You seem a little distracted."

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just late for an appointment."

She smiled, "I better let you go then."

"Why don't you drop in when you've got some free time for a coffee so we can catch up?"

"Yeah, sounds good." She said starting to walk away.

"Oh, and Lynda…" Christina called out forcing her to spin on her heel and face her. "Thanks so much for taking care of DJ for me at such short notice."

"No problem, he was as good as gold."

"I just didn't want it to go unsaid."

Lynda frowned, "Are you sure you're OK?"

She nodded, "Pop in for a coffee, we'll catch up."

"Sure thing. Look after yourself OK."

Again she nodded before walking away from the building. The nausea was still there, but the fresh air had taken the edge off it. She kept moving forward, planting one foot in front of the other in the direction she needed to go. She could feel Alastair over her shoulder, spurring her on her journey. She swore to herself she wouldn't let him under her skin, but it was hard to ignore his face in her mind as much as she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of haunting her. Her feet pounded on the concrete in time with her heartbeat as she tried to work him out of her system. The rage built up inside her and she knew she needed to release it before it drove her insane or she put someone she loved in danger. She needed to hunt, but Dean was codling her so she knew she wouldn't be able 'to convince him to take her on a case while she was recovering. Her direction suddenly took a detour, she wanted to go somewhere to scream where no one would hear her and she had the perfect place to go.

= X =

She took in the sight before her, there was nothing surrounding her secret place but woodland. Not many people knew about this place even though it wasn't far from the heart of the town she'd grown up in. She'd spent many night's here with Dean when they were younger and had managed to sneak out of the house where their father's slept. She doubted he remembered given that it had been over 15 years since they'd been there. She took a deep breath, the rage she'd felt half an hour ago had diminished because she'd walked it off and she hadn't counted on that. But being there had an influence on her that made her even calmer, it was something she had to hold onto if she was going to get Alastair out of her head. She was about to turn around to head back home when she sensed someone behind her.

"How long have you been following me?" She asked knowing she wasn't in any danger.

"Since I saw you change your mind about where you were going." He said stepping forward so he was level with her. "What's on your mind?"

"Alastair."

"You can't let him get to you CJ or he's won."

"You don't think I know that Sam? I do. But he's not so easy to just let go of."

The young man placed his arm affectionately around her shoulders, "Is that why you came here, to try and let off some steam?"

"Yeah, but it turns out the walk helped get rid of my anger – at least for now anyway."

His furrowed brow went unnoticed as she continued to look out over the wilderness, "Why here?"

She smiled then, "Your brother and me used to sneak out here when my dad and John went to bed so we could make out without getting caught."

"So it's a make out spot?"

"Just ours. I don't think anyone else knows about it."

He dropped his eyes to the floor, "You come here to be alone a lot?"

She shook her head, "I usually just stay home but I have company so this was the next best place. Truth be told, I didn't know I needed time on my own until I started on my way to the store."

He raised his eyebrows, "Dean let you walk to the store?" He teased.

"I told him I needed lady products."

"Nice." He chuckled. "Do you want me to walk back with you?"

She inhaled deeply, "I actually do need to go to the store so…"

"Well, I'll walk with you."

She nodded, "OK."

= _A While Later _=

Christina paced the small confines of the bathroom as she waited for the result of the pregnancy test. She didn't know if Alastair had fabricated her pregnancy just to throw her off or if he'd actually been telling the truth so she needed to be sure before she even attempted to approach the subject with Dean. Since getting pregnant with DJ, the two of them had been extra careful not to repeat the accident but obviously they hadn't been cautious enough.

She checked her watch, three minutes had passed, so she picked up the stick and checked the window display. She exhaled deeply and placed the test in the small wastebasket under the sink. She buried it as deep as she could before unlocking the door and making her way to join Dean in the lounge. Her face was completely devoid of colour as she walked in the room where he was sat watching mind-numbing TV trying to prepare for the conversation she had to have with him.

He noticed her immediately, "How do people watch this shit?" He asked picking up the remote and turning off the TV.

"Dean, language." She said looking across at their son. "He's talking now."

"Oh, sorry." He apologised before becoming aware of her demeanour, "What's wrong?"

She took a deep breath as she headed to the couch to sit down next to him, "Dean, we need to talk."

"Sounds serious."

"It is." She said taking another deep breath to try and calm her nerves. She cleared her throat, "When Alastair took me, he told me something…"

"What?"

"Please don't interrupt, just… let me talk."

He nodded his agreement, "OK, sorry."

"Alastair told me something and I think that's the reason I couldn't be possessed. But I had to be sure before I said anything to you." She paused. "When I went out, I went to the drug store and got a test. I'm pregnant."

Dean raised his hand and dropped his head into the palm with a massive sigh. "CJ…"

"I know, the timing isn't right, but it wasn't when we had DJ and that worked out OK."

"We're trying to stop the apocalypse."

"I know, but I'm not going to be in the fight anyway because we have DJ, so it's not going to make that much difference."

"Damn it CJ…"

"Hey, I wasn't exactly alone in this."

"But it couldn't have come at a worse time."

"Well it's alright for you; giving birth is like sitting on top of the Eiffel Tower and spinning and I'm OK with it."

Her comment made him smile, "Well I guess we'll make it work."

"Now we just have to tell my Dad."

Dean dropped his head to his hand and closed his eyes with an audible sigh, "Oh God help us."

= X=

Christina walked in through her father's back door with Dean and DJ with a heavy look on her face and Bobby noticed it immediately, "You look like you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders." He commented.

"No, just some news that I don't think you're going to like very much."

"OK, hit me with it."

"Sit down."

"Oh, it's that kind of news." He said pulling up a chair at the dining table opposite Sam.

Christina took a deep breath, "Dean and I are having another baby."

Bobby rubbed his brow, "I wish I could say I was surprised but the truth is I've been expecting it. I just thought it'd be later on down the line when we'd stopped the damned apocalypse."

"Bobby, this wasn't planned." Dean stepped in.

He sighed, "This is going to make stopping the apocalypse so much harder."

"No it won't Dad. I was always going to be a safe distance away; this pregnancy just ensures that I keep my word unlike last time when Dean went to Hell."

"She's got a point." Sam said trying to help.

"But another baby is just going to complicate things even more. We've got to be even more cautious now."

"You did hear Dean when he said this wasn't planned right?" Christina countered.

He exhaled deeply, "I need to take a walk." He said exiting via the back door.

His daughter threw a look at Dean before heading after him, "Dad."

Sam looked at his brother as they were left alone, "So…"

Dean sighed, "Yeah."

"Next, you'll be getting married."

"Are you kidding me? I'm a 29-year-old boy, I don't do commitment."

His brother laughed, "You could've fooled me, you've now got kid number two on the way."

"Yeah, like I need reminding." Suddenly Dean's body language changed, "Uh, listen Sam, I think I need your help."

"With what?"

"I made a promise to CJ and I'm not sure I'm going to be able to keep it."

Sam was immediately concerned, "What was it?"

"That Alastair wouldn't go near her again."

"Why did you do that? There's no way to know if you can keep that promise."

He rubbed his brow, "I know, but you didn't see her Sam. She was upset and vulnerable and I just wanted to give her something to make her feel better. But he's already snatched her twice so what hope do I have of stopping him if he tries to get her again?"

"Look Dean, my powers are getting stronger everyday, all we've got to do is find him and I will help you keep your promise OK?"

= X =

Christina slowly followed after her dad as he walked down the long gravelled drive that led to his house. She knew when he got the news he wasn't happy but she hadn't seen him stage a walk out for a while. Those were reserved for when he was really upset, so she knew she had to talk him down before he distanced himself anymore.

"Dad." She called out softly.

"I need a minute CJ." He called back over his shoulder.

"I know, but please don't be mad. We're as shocked about this as anyone."

Bobby stopped in his tracks, "I'm not mad."

She took the opportunity to gain on his position. "Then where are you going?"

"I just need to process it." He said taking a step away from her.

His movement made her breakdown, "Please Dad. Don't walk away. Don't leave me."

Her tears made him pause. He was always a sucker for her emotions, especially because she didn't cry very often – although it was happening more since she'd become a mother. He turned to her, "Don't cry Princess." He said taking a step in her direction. But her reaction wasn't one of comfort. Bobby could swear he saw her skin crawl. "CJ, you OK?"

"Please, don't call me that."

He frowned, "I've always called you that."

"Alastair called it me when he had me captive."

Suddenly he realised the impact the demon had had on his daughter and moved to her position so he could envelope her in his arms, "Sorry."

"I need you now Dad, more than I ever needed you."

"I'll be here, every step of the way."


	27. Chapter 27

**TWENTY-SIX**

Christina stood bent over the toilet bowl and reached out to flush as she finished vomiting. She was already sick of her morning sickness and she was barely 3 months pregnant.

Stepping over to the sink, she turned on the cold tap and cupping her hand she caught some of the water and swilled her mouth out. As she spat the taste out of her mouth she found her reflection in the medicine cabinet. She had colour to her cheeks despite feeling drained and she knew that both were down to her pregnancy. She hated the sickness that came along with carrying a child, but knowing there was a life growing inside her gave her a natural bounce to her step, it had when she'd been carrying DJ.

She walked out of the bathroom and paused to allow the nauseous feeling to pass a little before heading out to the lounge. It was the middle of the day and she'd already thrown up twice. She'd forgotten what it was like to be so sick while she was with child but she was willing to put up with it as long as she got to have a healthy baby to love and hold after nine months.

"You OK?" Dean asked as she appeared in the kitchen.

She nodded as she sat at the table, "The sickness is just a part of it. It'll be over soon."

He stroked her back with the palm of his hand, "Is there anything I can do?"

"I could go for a bacon sandwich."

He raised his eyebrows, "Really? Even after…"

"Especially after that. I'm hungry."

"Then I guess I'm cooking up some bacon." He smiled causing her to smile too.

He'd been so understanding since she'd announced her pregnancy, which was a nice change of pace from the last time, and for the life of her she couldn't get used to his concern. But she liked it.

= X =

Sam watched as Bobby moved about the kitchen. He'd been weary since he'd woken up that morning and he guessed it had everything to to with the news Christina had given him the night before.

"You need help in there?" Sam asked alerting Bobby to the fact he'd been watching him.

The older man turned to him wearing a frown, "No, I don't need you getting in my way."

Sam raised his eyebrows, "You wanna talk about it?"

The frown that made its way to his brow went unnoticed, "About what?"

"About what's got you so upset?"

"I'm not upset."

The youngest man in the room sighed, "Alright then." He muttered under his breath.

= X =

Christina relaxed in her chair as she placed her utensils down on her clean plate, "OK, now I feel better."

Dean smiled and cleared the table, "Good. Now why don't you go and relax on the couch while I feed DJ."

She couldn't help the smile that appeared on her face, "I could get used to this." She said getting to her feet. "But you do realise I'm just pregnant, not an invalid."

"I know. I just want to take care of you while I'm here." He said turning back to her.

She took a small step forward and placed a kiss on his lips. "I love you." She said as she pulled away, but as she turned to leave the room Dean gently encouraged her back into his arms and with a contented hmmm at the back of his throat he returned her affection with a passionate kiss.

She nuzzled in closer to his body allowing him to wrap his arms around her. Every inch of her radiated her love for him and she could feel it reflected in his touch. Dean always had a way of making her feel indestructible in his presence and when he kissed her it was stronger than ever. She felt absolutely complete. In this moment she had everything her heart desired. But she knew eventually he would have to leave. She knew there would be a case he'd have to work because someone had to stop Lucifer from rising, and the responsibility always fell on him. But while she had it she was going to enjoy it.

= X =

Sam had started to read Revelations in order to get an idea on how they could stop Lucifer rising if the demons managed to break the 66th seal half an hour ago, but his concentration had been broken by Bobby banging around in the kitchen. He'd heard plenty of muffled profanities coming from his direction but he hadn't dared to venture in.

"Balls!" Bobby shouted after the clang of a pan hit the hard floor.

With a sigh and a roll of his eyes Sam closed the bible he held and put his head around the open double doors, "Something I can do to help?"

"The damn thing just jumped off the stove." He said stooping to pick up the frying pan and throwing it in the sink before bending to clean the scrambled egg off the floor.

The other man walked inside the room, "It _jumped _off the stove?" He asked with a frown.

Bobby paused to look him in the eye, sending a chill down the spine of the youngster, "Don't start with me boy."

Sam held up his hands to ward off any imminent verbal attack, "I wouldn't dare."

= X =

Christina held DJ's hands as he stood in front of her bouncing on his tip-toes. He'd shown signs of wanting to walk and at every available opportunity she had encouraged him into taking his first steps but as of yet he hadn't. Her concentration was taken off her son when his father entered the room from the kitchen with a plastic bowl of porridge. Using the plastic spoon, Dean scooped some of the sticky substance up and allowed it to drop back down to the bowl.

"How do kids eat this crap?" He asked pulling a disgusted face.

"It's good for them." She retorted.

"But it tastes like dirt."

Christina laughed, "Have you eaten much dirt?"

"Sure, and I've never liked it." He smiled placing the bowl on the coffee table. "C'mon little buddy, let's get you in your chair."

"Wait there a sec…" She said causing him to stop. "Let's try and get him walking." She continued turning her son around to face his dad.

Dean crouched in his position a couple of steps away and beckoned DJ toward him, "C'mon. Come here to daddy."

The toddler made eye contact with his father and a smile appeared on his face, instantly he made a move to step forward and Christina stood up to hold his waist in order to assist his balance. Gently she released her hold on him and watched as he moved away from her toward Dean, who reached out to catch him as he took another step.

The boys mother couldn't help her reaction to clap excitedly like a school girl who had just been asked out by her crush, "Good boy."

Dean gathered him up in his arms with teary eyes, "That was awesome buddy."

= X =

"It looks like breakfast is a bust." Bobby said throwing the cleaned up mess in the bin.

Sam raised his eyebrows, "I could run to the diner around the corner and get us something."

"Don't bother, I'm not hungry anymore."

"C'mon Bobby, you gotta eat."

"I don't got to do anything I don't want to."

Sam sighed, not for the first time that morning, "Would you at least talk about it?"

He frowned at him, "What do I need to talk about?"

"You're worried about Christina."

"Of course I am. I couldn't protect her before but now the demons know she's pregnant... I'm just not sure we can keep them from hurting her to get to your damn brother."

He nodded, understanding his concerns, "Dean won't let her get taken again."

"He couldn't stop it before anymore than I could so why do you think that makes me feel any better?"

Sam sighed, "Bobby, I hate to say it but if the demons wanted her dead Alastair wouldn't have let her go."

His logic immediately dawned on the older man, "It doesn't mean they won't torture her to get what they want."

"We'll just have to be extra vigilant and not leave her alone."

"Damnit, we can't baby-sit her. She'll see right through that."

"Well we'll just have to make sure she doesn't."

"And what's your big plan to pull that off?"

He shrugged like it was obvious, "Dean."

"Dean? That's it? That's your plan?"

"He's there pretty much all the time at the minute anyway and when we go on a case, you tell her that you're helping out with DJ."

"Boy, that is the dumbest idea you've had in a long time."

He raised his eyebrows, "Do you have a better one?"

"Yeah, lock her in the panic room until she goes into labour."

Sam laughed, "Yeah, I'm sure she'd let you get away with that." He said slipping on his coat.

Bobby frowned, "Where you going?"

"To get breakfast." He said disappearing out the back door.

= X =

Christina glowed as she watched Dean clean DJ up after he'd finished eating. She loved watching the two of them together. DJ was only 10 months old but already he had some of his father's traits. If anyone doubted who his father was they just had to spend a day with both of them to quash any uncertainty.

"You OK?" Dean asked, breaking her out of her daze.

His voice brought her back into the room and she involuntarily smiled, "You've got to stop asking me that."

"You just looked like you were lost in another world."

"I just like watching you two." She said unconsciously laying a hand on her belly and rubbing it.

Putting his son on the floor with his toys, Dean dropped down on the couch beside her. "How're you feeling now? Has the sickness stopped?"

She nodded, "I feel better."

"Yeah?"

"Yes." She enforced as her eyes moved to DJ.

"What do you want to do today?"

She shifted her gaze to his face, "This is good."

"This is good?" He asked placing his hand on top of hers on her stomach.

"Yeah, this is really good." She smiled looking back at their son.

But no sooner had the words left her mouth, the door knocked. She groaned to motivate herself into moving but Dean got to his feet before she could, "Stay there, I'll get it."

Pulling open the apartment door, he came face to face with Sam, who grabbed him to stop him walking back inside as soon as he indicated he was going to. "One sec."

His brow furrowed, "What's up?"

"It's Bobby."

"What about him?"

"He's worried that this pregnancy means she's going to be tortured to get to us." He said barely above a whisper so that Christina didn't overhear.

"Yeah well, I'm worried about that too but what can I do?" He asked in the same hushed tone his brother had used. "I can't exactly unfertilise the egg."

Sam frowned and hesitated before he spoke again, "Anyway, until the baby is born we're on guard detail."

He raised his eyebrows, "She's gonna love that."

"Well, Bobby wanted to lock her in the panic room until she goes into labour, at least this way she gets to breathe fresh air."

"She's still not going to like it."

"We're not exactly going to tell her."

"Maybe not, but she'll know."

"Not necessarily. You're here all the time anyway, it's just when Bobby takes over she'll get suspicious."

Dean nodded, "And when she goes off her head about it we won't be around to take the hit, I hear ya."

"No. I'm just saying we have some time before she realises what we're doing."

"Dean." They both heard her call from inside the apartment. "Who is it?"

"Sam." He called back.

That's when she appeared around the wall, "Then why are you both stood out there?"

"Uh, he was just filling me in on your Dad." Dean responded quickly so she wouldn't be suspect.

She frowned, "Is he OK?"

"Yeah, he's just a little worried that's all." Sam answered.

"I told him not to be."

"He's your Dad CJ; there'd be something wrong if he wasn't a little concerned."

"I know. I just wished he'd realise I can take care of myself and that I'm not going to put myself in any situation that could potentially harm the baby."

"He knows that." Dean assured her. "It's just that the Alastair thing is still fresh. He needs time to shake it off."

"I still need time to shake that off." She said walking back inside the apartment, encouraging them both to follow after her. "The first time he took me and almost beat me to death the scars were visible, they still are. But this time, this time he got into my head and that's going to take a while to bounce back from." She continued taking her seat back on the sofa. "Trust me when I say that I'm not ready to relive that experience. So if I've got to stay in this apartment for the duration of my pregnancy, I'll do that."

Dean immediately did a double take, "Did you say you'd stay in this apartment, no argument, until the baby comes?"

"Yes. It's one thing to put my own life at risk; it's something else entirely to put my baby in danger."

He threw a glance across at his brother, "Is there some kind of catch?"

She shook her head, "No catch. It's not often I get scared, but when Alastair told me I was pregnant I was petrified he was going to kill us both and I'm not ready to ever feel that fear again."

"Let me get this straight; you're prepared to voluntarily stay out of trouble for as long as you're pregnant?"

"Yes."

"Hell, then maybe I should get you knocked up more often."

Sam shook his head in disbelief at his brothers' comment. "I don't think that's the answer."

"Obviously I was joking." He was quick to state.

Christina smiled, "Yeah, maybe two kids are enough for now."

= X =

Bobby sat at the kitchen table with a mug of hot coffee as he waited for Sam to return with the breakfast he insisted he needed to eat. His concern over Christina's current fragile state hadn't wavered despite the young Winchesters assurance that they wouldn't let her out of their sight. He knew if the demons wanted her, they'd find a way of getting to her – a lesson he'd learned not so long ago when Alastair had taken her from underneath their noses. He'd been blind-sided and helpless then, but he'd be prepared if any demon tried it again.

He knew Sam's plan to baby-sit her wouldn't go down well once she figured it out and she was pretty switched on so it wasn't going to take her long to cotton on. Nevertheless he was her father; he was supposed to protect her no matter the cost. He'd felt like he'd failed her and to see her after the attack cut him up. There was no way he was ready to ever see her suffer like that again and now she was pregnant there was double the reason to be vigilant.

= X =

"Right, I'm gonna get back to Bobby's before he sends out a search party." Sam said getting to his feet after spending some time playing with his nephew.

Christina nodded, "Tell him I'm on board with the plan."

"I'm not sure he'll believe me, but I'll pass on the message." He said putting on his jacket. "What are you two doing today?"

"I was thinking of vegging out on the couch and watching a couple of movies."

"Oh, which one's?" Dean asked curiously.

She smiled, "I brought Mary Poppins on DVD a couple of months ago and I haven't had a chance to watch it yet."

He frowned, "What's Mary Poppins?"

Sam laughed, "It's great. You're gonna love it." He said patting him on the back before leaving the apartment.

Christina enjoyed a chuckle at the confused look on her lover's face, "I can't believe you've never seen Mary Poppins."

He frowned as the door knocked, "What's the big deal? I haven't seen a lot of movies."

"You'll appreciate this one." She called back as she made her way to answer the door. Pulling open the divide she smiled when she saw her friend Lynda the other side, "Hey."

"Hi. I thought I'd drop in for that coffee and catch up if you've got time." She said.

She opened the door, silently inviting her in, "Sure." She said leading her through to the lounge where Dean was sat watching DJ play. "You've met DJ's father."

The two exchanged pleasantries before Christina led her friend through to the kitchen; filled the kettle and flicking it on to boil. But before she had a chance to say anything, Dean appeared with DJ in his arms, "I'm going to put him down for his nap." He said walking over to her.

Christina kissed her son on his head, "I love you." She said before he took the boy out of the room.

Lynda looked at her friend once Dean was safely out of earshot, "He's a rugidly dreamy sort." She said in a hush tone.

She smiled, "I'd share him with you if I could."

"So, what's new with you?"

Christina sighed. She hated lying and keeping secrets from someone she considered her friend but the things she hid were for the woman's safety not to mention she didn't want to scare her or make her question her sanity.

She took a second to compose herself and took a deep breath, "Well, I just found out that I'm pregnant."

"Really?" She asked with raised eyebrows, "Was it planned?"

"No, but we're going to make it work."

"And what about your postpartum depression?"

"My…" She began as a frown took up residence on her brow.

Having overheard the question as he was about to walk past, Dean entered the room, "I hope you don't mind that I told her." He interjected.

When he'd collected DJ from Lynda, Dean had covered his request for her not passing him over to his mother by blaming depression and he hadn't had a chance to let her know.

She stared at him, unsure of what to say next, however she forced her brain to engage. "No, of course I don't mind." She said slowly before turning her attention back to her friend, "I was just waiting for the right time to tell you myself. It's just a really difficult thing for me to talk about."

Dean slyly gave her the thumbs up as he disappeared into the lounge.

Lynda nodded sympathetically, "That's understandable. But are you dealing with it OK?"

"Yeah, I'm medicated so it's getting better."

"Will you be able to keep taking the medicine with you being pregnant?"

"I dunno. But I've got an appointment with my doctor next week so I guess I'll find out." She bluffed. "So, what's been going on with you?"

= X =

"Operation Guard Duty is on." Sam said walking back in through Bobby's back door.

He countered with a frown, "What are you talking about?"

"CJ has agreed to stay out of trouble for the duration of her pregnancy."

"So that's where you've been while I've been here sitting on my hands?"

"I dropped by to tell Dean our plan."

"Then you had no intention of fetching breakfast, it was an excuse to get out of here."

"Damnit!" He cursed realising that he'd forgotten the very thing he'd gone out for. "I'll go back out." He said exiting by the door he'd entered through.

Bobby exhaled deeply as he dropped back down to his chair; somehow he'd ended up alone with his thoughts again. Knowing Christina had agreed to be cooperative during her pregnancy didn't really fill him with much optimism. He knew that when it came to Dean, she'd do anything to save him – even at the expense of her own life because she had before. So he was sceptical. But he'd play it out until the time came he had to pull out the _you promised_ lecture he had readily prepared since the night before when she'd suggested the pregnancy would keep her far from any danger the Winchesters found themselves in.

= _Later That Night _=

Christina smiled as Dean hummed _Chim Chim Cheree _from Mary Poppins. The film had ended hours ago and yet he kept singing it periodically, which she found amusing.

"Damn song!" He cursed as he cleared away DJ's toys.

"It gets in your head doesn't it?" She asked, with the smile firmly fixed on her face.

"I blame you." He accused. "Before today I hadn't heard of the damn movie."

"I'm not the one who wrote the songs, you can blame Dick Van Dyke for that."

He frowned, "Why have I heard that name before?"

"He's a national treasure."

Suddenly he had it, "Sam. He's mentioned that guy to me before." He hesitated. "That means he's seen that movie."

She nodded, "Sam and I watched as kids one time when you joined your dad on a hunt and left him with us."

"And he couldn't warn me how bad it was?"

"I think he wanted you to have the experience." She laughed as she picked up DJ from the floor, who was already in his pyjamas. "I'm going to put him to bed. Then we can watch a grown up movie."

But Dean jumped in her path and reached out for his son, "Let me put him to bed."

"OK." She said with a frown as she handed him over.

"Give Mommy a kiss." He said leaning the boy in her direction.

Christina placed her lips on his forehead. "I love you little guy." She said before watching his father carry him from the room.

However curiosity had the better of her and a second later she followed them. Silently she stood just short of the doorway of the bedroom they'd disappeared to and witnessed as Dean lowered DJ to his crib.

"Goodnight little man. Angels are watching over you." She heard him say and it brought tears to her eyes. She knew that had been something his mother used to say to him when she tucked him in at night, so it held special meaning to him. But she had no idea he'd been saying to his own son. It was apparent now why Dean had insisted on putting DJ to bed every night since he'd been there.

Overwhelmed by her emotions, Christina didn't have the chance to move before he turned to leave the room and spotted her watching him. He hesitated for a split second before walking out of the bedroom, pulling the door closed after him and continuing to the lounge.

"Have you been doing that for long?" She asked softly.

He shrugged like it was no big deal as he continued with the toy clean up, "Since I've been back."

She could tell he was uncomfortable talking about it so decided not to pursue the subject. "So, what movie do you want to watch?" She asked lowering to help him.

He sighed, he knew Christina knew him well enough not to push him on topics he wasn't willing to talk about but he had to relent his need to keep things contained. He was in a relationship now, so he had to learn to share his feelings, no matter how weak he thought they made him look. "It's the one thing she gave me that I can pass on, you know?" He said so quietly she almost missed it.

She understood how he felt. Her parent's had been taken from her 22 years ago and she barely remembered their faces anymore, let alone any traditions they had started with her that she could pass on to her own kids and she'd been 8-years-old when they died, Dean had only been 4.

"It's the one thing you can remember, but everything you are is because of your mother." She said sympathetically laying a hand on his shoulder.

Silence filled the room for a minute or two before he spoke again, "I miss her."

"Of course you do."

He looked her in the eye, "No one should grow up without their mom, so promise me that you'll never put yourself in a position to leave DJ without his."

Suddenly it hit her. All his side lining her hadn't just been about protecting her; it had been about not wanting his son to grow up motherless. "I promise." She replied sincerely.

= X =

"So, how are things between you and your brother?" Bobby asked as he and Sam sat drinking a beer at the kitchen table.

Sam shrugged, "Fine, as long as we're talking about CJ. But we haven't had a chance to talk about what happened in Iowa."

"Do you think you should bring that up?"

"I can't pretend it never happened Bobby, I said some horrible things. I need to clear the air."

"Do you think Dean would thank you for that? You know how he hates to rehash things."

Sam paused, reliving the argument he'd had with his brother while they were both under the siren's spell. "I told him he was weak, that he was holding me back. I told him I was a stronger and smarter hunter than he was when the truth is, he's the best hunter I know."

"Well, I doubt you were the only one spouting hurtful crap, but that was the siren talking."

"Maybe."

= X =

Dean sat on the couch next to Christina as the movie he'd chosen to watch played on the TV. He wasn't really paying attention to it if he was honest, he was still mulling over the fight he'd had with Sam in Iowa because he hadn't had a chance to have it out with him. He'd been honest with him when he'd told him he hated that he was hiding things, so he knew the things Sam had countered with had come from somewhere deep down in his soul. The thing that echoed around his head, and that got to him the most, was the accusation that he was too weak to go after Lilith. That grated at his nerves because Sam was the one who was weak when it came to demons, as his contact with Ruby could attest to.

"What's wrong?" Christina asked distracting him from his thoughts. She knew he wasn't paying attention to the TV because he was picking at the label on his beer bottle.

Snapping back to the room, he glanced at the idiot box before turning his attention to her, "Nothing, just enjoying the peace and quiet."

She nodded, accepting his answer. She guessed whatever it was that it had something to do with the conversation they'd had about his mother. She had no idea how wrong she was. "I love the couple of hours I get to myself at night before I go to bed."

"This is nice." Dean said before placing one of his hands on her stomach, much like she had earlier.

His gesture didn't go unnoticed and she found herself smiling. This pregnancy was showing a different side of Dean that she hadn't seen when she'd been carrying DJ. He'd fought against being a parent but this time, and probably largely due to already having their son, he was a willing participant.

"Are you going to be around next week for my doctor's appointment?" She asked laying her own hand on top of his.

"Yeah, I'm going to be sticking around for a while to make sure you're OK before I go anywhere."

"I'm not made of glass."

"Maybe not, but I want to be here right now." He said rubbing his thumb over her baby bump.

"Well we're happy to have you here." She said leaning forward and applying a kiss to his lips.


	28. Chapter 28

**TWENTY-SEVEN**

Christina walked out of the bathroom in her satin negligee that barely reached the middle of her thigh, to find Dean lay in bed reading from the day's newspaper. Walking over to her dressing table, she picked up her lotion and applied some to her arms before placing the bottle back down and rubbing the liquid into her skin.

"Is there anything interesting?" She asked referring to what he'd read while she'd been going through her nightly bathroom regime.

Being alerted to her company, he dropped the paper to the floor beside the bed. "Nothing that isn't normal."

She found herself smiling as she climbed into bed. No case would mean he wouldn't be leaving. She always feared him picking up the local rag or going on the computer to check news because of what he might find. But no case meant another day of them living as a family and it was hard for her to be sad about that.

She leaned toward him and planted a kiss on his lips. "Good night."

= X=

Alastair stood over the road from Christina's apartment hidden by shadows and watched as she walked in front of the window of her bedroom. With a disappointed sigh, he grabbed his cell phone from his pocket and called her number.

"The possession didn't work." He stated as soon as the call was answered.

"How do you know?" The little girl's voice asked the other end.

"Well Ruby said she has to step over a devil's trap to get in her apartment and I'm watching her walk around inside."

"Then, if you knew about the devil's trap, why did you try the possession?" She asked, angered.

"I didn't find out until after I'd let her go."

"Then I suggest you find another way around it Alastair or going back to the pit will be the least of your worries." She threatened, hanging up.

= X =

As Christina got comfortable on her side of the bed, Dean scooted down into a lying position and turned off the lamp on the bedside table. But something about his demeanour as he lay looking up at the ceiling told her he wasn't going to be dropping to sleep any time soon. She shifted closer to him and draped her arm across his body as she placed her head on his chest. Her action caused him to wrap his arm around her and rest it at the small of her back.

"You wanna talk about it?" She asked listening to the sound of his heart beating.

He gently rubbed his thumb across her back, "You don't need to worry about it CJ."

She lifted her head to look up at him as best as she could in the darkened room. "You haven't had a proper night's sleep since that siren case Dean. You need to get whatever it is off your chest."

"I will. Just not tonight."

She sighed placing her head back down, knowing not to push him. She was tired, and in no mood for a fight. Feeling safe and secure in his embrace, Christina closed her eyes but as she started to settle into a stupor Alastair appeared – as he had done every night since she'd returned home. She tried to push him out, concentrating on Dean's arm around her, but she couldn't get rid of his face invading her mind.

Dean, seemingly sensing her tension, broke the silence of the bedroom, "You OK?" He asked a little quieter than his usual volume.

Not wanting to worry him she lied, "I'm fine."

She knew he was worried – and she was happy he cared enough to check on her – but she'd been asked the same question more than ten times that day and it was getting pretty tiring having to assure him, even though this time she really wasn't.

"You think I don't know by now when you're lying?"

"I can't talk about it."

"Maybe you need to take your own advice and get it off your chest."

"I don't want to talk about Alastair any more than you want to talk about Sam. So will you just let it go?"

The room filled with silence for a while before Dean spoke again, "He won't hurt you as long as I'm here CJ."

"And when you're gone?" She asked, not meaning it to sound like a guilt trip even though that's how it came across.

He took a second to consider his answer. "Do you seriously think your Dad is going to leave you at risk if I'm not here?"

She propped herself up on her elbow so she could look down on him now her eyes had adjusted to the darkness of the room. "But I can't spend my life with a babysitter in case Alastair comes after me again. That's just ludicrous. Not to mention impractical."

He reached up to brush her fringe from her face, "If that's what it takes for you to feel safe, then that's what we've got to do."

"Yeah, you say that now, but what happens when I start to drive you all insane?"

"Well that's when we lock you in your Dad's panic room." He joked with a small laugh.

"Laugh now, but I think by the end of this pregnancy that's exactly where I'll be." She said laying her head back down on his chest.

"And I'll love you regardless."

She couldn't help the smile that formed on her lips in the darkness; no matter how many times he said it or why she always loved hearing it. "I love you too."

Her eyes were heavy, so she closed them and Alastair was still there. She didn't want to see him, but he had a power over her she didn't like to admit. He controlled her at night when she was most vulnerable and she had no way of blocking him out. It meant she didn't sleep very well, and as a pregnant woman she needed all the sleep she could get. She yawned. Lifting her head she kissed Dean on the lips and shifted onto her side of the bed. She was exhausted and ready for her forty winks. Her body became weightless and she sunk into the depths behind her eyes.

= X =

Dean's slumber was interrupted when he heard Christina shout Alastair's name out in her sleep. But as he reached out to gently coax her awake, he was thrown and pinned against the nearest wall of the bedroom. He could feel her strength overpowering him and he was scared he wasn't going to survive her nightmare. His voice was his only defence so he called out her name. Her grasp on him tightened, but she didn't wake up so he shouted as loud as his throat would allow.

Suddenly she jolted awake and Dean dropped into a heap on the floor below where he'd been suspended with a groan. Christina frowned, "What are you doing over there?"

He coughed as he got to his feet, "You threw me in your sleep."

"What?" She asked groggily rubbing a hand over her face.

"I heard you scream out for Alastair to stop and the next thing I knew I was pinned against the wall."

The frown on her face held, "I haven't been able to do that since…" Then realisation hit her, "Since the last time I was pregnant." She sighed, "Maybe I gave Alastair too much credit. Maybe he didn't do anything to me and all this stuff is a result of carrying this baby."

Dean climbed on the bed beside her and reached for her hand, "Then we may have a problem because I'm getting the feeling that the baby doesn't like me."

"The baby likes you fine. I think it was the dream about Alastair that made it manifest my powers. It was nothing personal."

"Let's hope not because I really want to live to see my next birthday."

"I guess the fear of Alastair just brought out my telekinesis. I don't actually think the baby's got it in for you."

Suddenly a vision hit her. She grabbed her head with a blood curdling scream as she dropped back on the bed. Her eyes rolled back in her sockets and her body convulsed repeatedly as the images started to play.

_Finally managing to beat through the door, Dean rushed inside and headed toward Ruby. Without thinking Sam grabbed her arms from behind and held her still as Dean plunged her own knife into her gut. Her insides flashed as the demon inside the body took its last breath. Then she was dead._

= X =

_Sam turned over in bed to find Jessica lying beside him. He knew he was dreaming, but he didn't care. Jessica always made him remember a time when he wasn't hunting. She was home to him. _

_She turned toward him, "So, this is your life now?" She reached up to stroke the left side of his face with her hand. "Think you can just live forever with your head buried in the sand?"_

"_I love you Jess." He said with a sigh before removing the sheets and sitting on the edge of the bed with his back to her. She sat up, giving him all her attention. "God knows how much I miss you too. But you're wrong. People can change. There is reason for hope."_

_She reached forward and brushed some of his hair over his ear, "No Sam, there isn't." She said. But as she paused for breath, her face manifested and she wasn't Jessica anymore. _

"_How can you be so sure?" Sam asked, not seeing the change._

"_Because you freed me." The man now sat in place of his deceased girlfriend responded. _

_Sam looked over his shoulder when the voice he knew didn't match the one that met his ears and got to his feet, keeping his eyes on the stranger as he backed away from the bed. _

"_That's right." The man said, shuffling to the edge of the bed but staying seated. "You know who I am?"_

"_Lucifer." He snarled._

"_You are a hard one to find Sam, harder than most humans. I don't suppose you'd tell me where you are."_

"_What do you want with me?" He asked with hatred in his voice._

"_Thanks to you I walk the earth. I wanna give you a gift. I wanna give you everything."_

"_I don't want anything from you."_

"_I'm so sorry Sam, I really am, but Nick here is just an improvisation – plan B. He can barely contain me without spontaneously combusting."_

"_What are you talking about?"_

_Lucifer got to his feet and took a step toward him, "Why do you think you were in that chapel?" He asked taking a few more steps. "You're the one Sam. You're my vessel. My true vessel."_

= X =

"_Sammy, can you hear me?" Dean asked as he stood next to him in the middle of nowhere._

_His brother turned to him with a stern look on his face, "You know, I tried to be nice, for Sammy's sake." He said stepping forward and grabbing Dean's jacket lapel. "But you are such a pain in my ass." _

_Sam threw his older sibling at the windscreen of the Impala and it fractured beneath the force. Dean groaned in pain as his brother made a move toward him. A shot rang out in the wilderness as it penetrated the right shoulder blade of the 6' 4" stature causing him to turn to face where the bullet had come from and was faced with Bobby as he pulled back the hammer on the gun and shot again, this time piercing just below his heart. _

_The substitute father for the Winchesters lowered the gun and Sam glanced down at the bullet wound before cutting his eyes back at the man that had put it there. Bobby exchanged a look with Dean but that was all as Sam raised his hand and flicked his wrist. The snap of Bobby's neck echoed through the woods as he dropped to the ground and Dean screamed out his protest._

= X =

Dean paced back and forth at the bedroom doorway with his phone pressed against his ear, "C'mon Bobby." He willed him to answer. But as the ring the other end cut to voicemail he hung up and tried again.

"Hello." A groggy Bobby greeted him.

"Bobby, thank God. I've been trying to get a hold of you."

"Why? What happened?"

"It's CJ."

He didn't see him bolt upright in bed, "Is she OK?"

"I don't know. She had a nightmare. I snapped her out of it but now she's having a vision and she's not coming out of it."

"What?"

"It's bad Bobby. This isn't like any of her other visions. She's convulsing and her eyes are rolled back in her head." He stopped pacing and looked over at her lying on the bed. "It's been ten minutes and she's still going. What if she doesn't snap out of it?"

"I'll be right there." He said hanging up.

= X =

_As Sam repeatedly punched his brother in the face, he caught sight of the toy soldier in the ashtray of the Impala and he stopped hitting. The memory of him and Dean as boys playing in the backseat flashed before his eyes as well as so many other memories they'd had along the way. Then the images stopped on one - his big brother holding him in a hug. Suddenly his fist relaxed and he released Dean as he stumbled backwards gasping for breath. He looked down at his brother with a look of horror etched on his features. _

"_It's OK Dean. It's gonna be OK." He assured him. "I got him."_

= X =

_Dean opened his eyes. It had been a year since Sam had jumped into Hell to save the world from Lucifer and he'd made a promise to live some normal apple pie life with Christina and their son. He had kept his promise not to look for a way to bring Sam back and get on with normal as best as he could. He was awake a minute before the alarm started to ring out throughout the bedroom and hit the button to stop it almost as soon as it had started. Christina groaned as she was startled awake and turned toward him as he lay staring up at the ceiling._

"_Are you OK?" She asked placing her hand on his chest._

_He grabbed her hand and held it in his, "Yeah, I'm good."_

_Leaning forward she placed a kiss on his lips. "I better get DJ ready for school."_

_But he pulled her back, "No, you stay here. I'll give him breakfast." He said lifting himself off the mattress and kissing her as he climbed from beneath the sheets._

_Suddenly a toddler came running in the room, "Mommy! Mommy! Get up."_

_The little girl caused Christina to smile, "Well, it looks like I'm getting up."_

"_I got her." Dean said lifting the girl into his arms. "Let's leave Mommy in bed for a little while."_

"_Can I have pancakes for breakfast Daddy?"_

"_You can have anything you want."_

_She grinned from ear to ear, "Then can I have a puppy?"_

"_We talked about this."_

"_But Daddy, you said I could have anything I wanted."_

"_A puppy is a big deal and you're not ready for that responsibility yet."_

"_Am too."_

"_Samantha Bobby Winchester." Her mother said._

"_Uh-oh, Mommy used all my names. That means I'm in trouble."_

_Dean raised his eyebrows, "Then let's get you dressed and eating breakfast quickly." He said carrying the child out of the bedroom. "DJ, time to get up."_

= X =

_Christina walked into the kitchen and was met with the vision of her family sat around the table eating breakfast. It made her smile. It always did. Seeing them together and having a normal family life with Dean was exactly what she'd pictured it would be, even if his brother had to go to Hell for her to get it._

_Dean saw her watching them and got up from his seat, "Hey, what are you doing up? I told you to stay in bed." He said taking the few steps toward her and giving her a kiss._

"_Watching you at breakfast with our kids is the best part of my day." She said wrapping her arms around his neck._

_He allowed her another kiss before he pulled away, "Then let me get you some breakfast."_

= X =

_Dean got out of the Impala and slammed the door closed behind him outside the school. He liked the routine he had of getting his kids ready for their day, dropping DJ at school and then fetching him at the end of his day. It was different to the life he had before. The life he had with Sam._

_He walked up to the school gates and watched as DJ emerged from inside. With a smile he waved in his direction and the young boy ran over to him. Dean braced himself for the impact of his son jumping into his arms and his smile stayed on his face. _

"_Hey bubby, what did you do at school today?" He asked as he carried him back to his vehicle._

"_We learned numbers. Today we counted to ten." DJ replied._

"_Well, how about we get you home and you can show me and your Mom how to count that high."_

"_Yeah." The boy excitedly called out._

_Dean bounced him in his arms, "Yeah."_

= X=

Bobby rushed into the apartment using the key his daughter had cut for him not long after she'd moved in. "Dean!" He called out trying to find where he was.

Dean stepped into view from the bedroom, "Bobby, thank God." He said, leading the way back to Christina. "She still hasn't woken up."

"What triggered it?"

He frowned, "She doesn't have a trigger."

"Not usually. But she hasn't had a vision for months so something has had to set her off."

"I'm more worried that she's not coming out of it."

"Did you call Sam?"

Dean dropped his head, "No. We can deal with this."

The older man sighed, "You've got to forgive him at some point."

"Bobby."

"You know you both said stuff you didn't mean…"

"Please, let's just deal with this before you start lecturing me on fixing things with my brother."

"Right, your _brother_, keep that in mind." He said sitting on the bed beside her and gently shaking her. "CJ, wake up baby."

Dean watched him and his brow furrowed again, "I've tried that. She's out of it."

Suddenly her father reached out and slapped her around the face, "Wake up!" He ordered her.

Her boyfriend was shocked, "Bobby!"

He stood and slapped her again, slightly harder than the time before, "CJ!"

"Stop it!"

"She needs to be snapped out of it."

"And your answer is to beat her?"

"I'm trying to shock her." He said slapping her again, "Come on. Wake up."

Dean grabbed him and pulled him away from her, "You can't do that. I'm sure you can't bring someone out of something like this by beating them out of it. We've just got to wait."

"We can't wait. We don't know how long she's going to be like this."

"But hitting her isn't going to bring her out of it any faster."

"You don't know that it won't."

"I know that it's unlikely."

"You a doctor now?"

"I just don't think hitting her around the head is going to help."

"Then why'd you call me here?"

He shrugged, "Moral support?"

= X =

_Sam opened the double doors in the old run down house and entered the room with Dean following closely behind. He wasn't sure why they were there but he was sure his brother was about to clue him in. His confusion stayed etched on his brow as they reached a table at the back of the room. There were three people there._

_The woman approached him, "Hey." She greeted him sticking out her hand in his direction._

_Dean reached for it, "Hi."_

_Squinting, she leaned toward him a touch, "My God, you have delicate features for a hunter."_

"_Excuse me?" He asked, his brow furrowing deeper._

_That's when Sam jumped in, "Dean, Gwen Campbell."_

"_Good to finally meet you, Sam's gone on and on."_

"_And this is Christian." He continued introducing the first male who gave him a two-fingered salute before pointing at the other. "And Mark." Dean raised his eyebrows as Sam added, "Campbell."_

_Christian leaned forward slightly and opened up his hand to greet the eldest brother. Dean took his hand with a perplexed, "Hi." But that's when he heard the surname repeat in his ears. "Campbell like…"_

"_Like your Mom." Christian confirmed. _

_Sam pointed at the man who'd just spoken, "Third cousin…" Then at Gwen. "Third cousin." And then at Mark. "Something something twice removed. They grew up in the life. Like Mom; like us." _

_Dean turned to his brother, "I thought all of Mom's relatives were gone." He paused. "And I'm sorry it's just, you know, why didn't we know about any of you."_

"_Because they didn't know about you." A voice to his right contributed._

_Dean's eyes moved in the direction of the new addition to the room and he could barely believe the sight before him._

"_Not until I brought you all together." He continued walking toward him._

"_Samuel." He managed as his grandfather embraced him. But the Winchester broke the connection. Having travelled back in time to 1973, he'd seen Samuel die after being killed and possessed by the Yellow-Eyed demon so it just wasn't possible that what he was seeing was actually real._

_His grandfather turned to the people in the room, "Guys, give me a second with my grandson's here please."_

_Everyone took their orders and left the room, leaving Samuel with Dean and Sam. "A lot of resurrections in your face today, it's alright, take a minute." The eldest man said to Dean._

"_It's gonna take a little more than a minute." He stated. "I mean what the hell? How did this happen?"_

"_We're guessing whatever pulled Sam up pulled me down." Samuel was honest._

"_So whatever this is we're both a part of it." Sam added._

"_But you don't know what that is?" Dean asked still reeling._

"_Bingo." Samuel countered._

"_And you have no leads? Nothing?" His grandparent gave him a slight shake of the head. Dean turned away from both men in the room, "Well this is… uh." He ran a hand down his face and over his mouth trying to process the information he'd gotten since walking into the building. "There's no more doornails coming out of that door is there?"_

"_As far as we know it's Samuel and it's me." His brother answered._

_Dean took a minute before he spoke again, "Am I the only one here that thinks that this can't all just be fine?"_

"_Believe me, you're not."_

= X =

_Bobby watched as the Winchester's walked out of the motel room and glanced at the hip flask he'd attached his spirit to. It had been his and Dean had adopted it as his own since his death so he'd been able to watch over the young men he loved like his own sons from beyond the grave. But he'd rushed from the room and forgotten it, leaving his behind._

_It was hard to watch them living without his to turn to when they hit a brick wall on a case and needed help. It was ever harder to watch his daughter with his grand-children. She'd taken his death hard but he found comfort in the fact that she had Sam and Dean to help her through it. They were the support she needed to face each new day without him. They were the glue that kept her fighting to keep going when she didn't know why she should. They were all she had left now and he was so grateful that they all had each other to depend on. If he was snatched from existence completely he could go happy in the knowledge that they were all going to be OK._

_Suddenly Dean walked back in through the door and seemed to look straight at him, "There you are." He said walking toward him and right at the point when Bobby expected a warm welcome, the young man reached past him for the flask._

"_I'm right here, you idjit." The spirit cursed as the living man turned and walked right back out the room. "BALLS!"_

= X =

_Sam and Dean walked into the creepy old hotel to find Bobby sat on the floor. He gave them a greeting, thinking it would go unheard but was surprised when it didn't._

"_Bobby." His name fell out of Dean's mouth before he had much chance to stop it._

_The deceased man was taken aback, "Wait… you can see me?" He got to his feet but still neither of the Winchesters spoke, and he couldn't bring himself to find the words he'd wanted to say to each of them since he'd died. They stood in a stand off fashion for what felt like hours before Bobby actually mustered up something to say, "You're staring you know." He pointed out the obvious. "Annie's here too by the way."_

"_Hi Annie." They said simultaneously into the air not knowing where to look._

_Bobby pointed over his right shoulder as the female greeted them back, "Hi guys."_

"_She says you both look uglier than she remembers." He jested, causing Annie to give him a playful nudge._

_Sam exhaled quickly, "Bobby, how'd you stay here?"_

"_Yeah well um…" He started before going to a desk drawer, removing his hip flask and throwing it at its new owner._

= X =

_Christina sat on the grass with her daughter, Sammy watching Dean and Sam throw the football around with their son. This had been the closest thing to normal they'd had since her father had died. She hadn't been up to much since she'd lost her Dad, despite Dean's best intentions to help her with her grief. The children kept her functioning while he worked a menial job at the local garage. All he knew was cars so mechanic seemed like the right path to take when he finally had to get a job to support his family. It was pretty much the same thing every day but he got weekends off and that suited him because it meant they got to spend time together as a family. It was important to Christina, and today was the first day she had stepped outside of the house they'd moved to before their second child had been born._

_Dean glanced over as he fell to the floor and heard her laugh echo off the wilderness surrounding them. He'd missed that sound and he was glad he was the one that brought it out in her. "Are you enjoying this?" He shouted across to her._

_She smiled and nodded, "You're terrible at sport." She shouted back._

_He got to his feet and brushed himself off, "I'd like to see you do any better."_

"_Oh no, I'm much better with spirits and demons. But at least I admit it."_

= X =

Dean paced the bedroom impatiently and glanced over at Christina lying on their bed intermittently. She'd been in the same stagnated state for an hour now and showed no signs of coming out of it. He'd been worried about her forty minutes ago, by now he was going out of his mind. He had no idea if she was going to snap out of it because her visions had never had this affect on her before. Usually she came out of it in minutes, so this was new. He had no idea what to do to help her, and it wasn't like he had many options.

"Maybe we should take her to the hospital." He suggested to her father.

"And tell them what?" He countered.

"No idea. But maybe they can help her."

"And how exactly do you suppose we explain this?"

"I don't know, but I can't just sit here. I need to do something."

"Waiting was your suggestion."

"Now I'm done waiting. It's been too long Bobby, something isn't right."

Her father sighed, "I'll get the boy. You get CJ." He said removing himself from the room.

Dean stood over his girlfriend's body and took a few deep breaths. He had no idea if taking her to the hospital was the right move to make, but he had to try something and he couldn't think of anything else. As he bent down to scoop her up in his arms, her eyes shot open and she lunged into an upright position gasping for breath.

"Bobby!" He called out. "She's awake."

= X =

Dean walked back into the lounge with a glass of water and passed it to his girlfriend, who was sat on the couch. They'd given her time to adjust to consciousness but both of them were curious to know what she'd seen during her vision.

She took a sip from the tumbler and rubbed her brow, "I feel like I was hit by a truck. How long was I out?"

"About an hour." Her boyfriend answered.

"Did I hit my face on something because it feels like my cheek is bruised to hell?" She asked with a frown as she rubbed it.

Dean looked at her father, who was sat next to her, "No. That was your Dad's idea of snapping you out of it."

But she didn't react to the information instead she was trying to make sense of everything she'd seen; "We had a house." She said, before she looked up at her partner. "You were a mechanic."

He raised his eyebrows, "A mechanic?"

"Yeah, and we were normal."

"That's it? That's all you saw?" Her father asked.

"No. Um, I saw Dean kill Ruby."

Dean smiled, "Hallelujah."

"Uh, Lucifer was free and he told Sam he was his vessel." Suddenly she sucked in a breath. "He killed…" Slowly her eyes shifted to Bobby. "Sam snaps your neck." She looked back at her boyfriend. "Why would he do that?"

Dean shrugged, "No idea."

"Wait." She said with a shake of her head. "He wasn't Sam, he was Lucifer." She frowned to try and clarify what she'd actually seen in her vision. "He jumps into Hell, but he comes back."

"Lucifer?" Bobby asked.

"No, Sam… and your granddad is alive."

"Samuel?" Dean asked wearing a frown of his own.

"Maybe I'm broken because none of this makes sense. None of this can actually happen. I mean none of its possible, right?" She asked with panic in her voice and tears in her eyes.

"I guess we won't know unless it happens." He said with a sympathetic softness as he sat next to her and grabbed her hand. "Tell me what you saw of our life together."

"I'm going to leave you two to talk." Bobby said getting to his feet and bending down to kiss her on her forehead, "I'm glad you're awake. I'll see you in the morning."


End file.
